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Author Topic: Your opinion please  (Read 2164 times)

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Offline daveuk

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Your opinion please
« on: May 09, 2011, 09:20:45 AM »
44 days ago i engaged in mutual masturbation with another male person. We were at either end of bed wanking each other, i tickled his scrotum and penis shaft briefly with the tip of my tongue.
I had brushed my teeth and mouthwashed about an hour and a half prior to this but as i was not intending on doing anything other than masturbation i didn't think it mattered. We carried on until we both came and that was it.

3 weeks after this me and my wife both started to develop cold like symptoms, ie, sore throat,coughs,blocked noses,sneezing, she was slightly loosing her voice too and my lymph nodes under my jaw were tender but not swollen. My cold went after 3-4 days but hers lasted most of the week. about a week after that 4 weeks after exposure she got a bad headache on a couple of mornings and and she also had a bit of dihorea a couple of mornings but she said it was because i had been giving her simple linctus for her cough, i stopped the simple linctus and the dihorea stopped the next morning. it has now been 6 weeks and she still has the cough which sounds chesty and phlegmy, and a couple of nights ago she had night sweats two nights in a row, but it is very warm here in the uk at the moment and she also came on her period yesterday and she puts it down to this, she came on her period 4 days early too, i dont know if this means anything?

I went to a GUM clinic 4 days ago, 40 days after the exposure and i told the sexual health worker everything i have told you, exept the sweating because that has happened since. He said that i had not been at risk of hiv and there was no need to test, he said that people just dont catch it that way, i said what abou the precum possibilty, he said even if there was any it wouldnt live very long outside the body, but i said what if it had only just been secreted? He didn't know what to say to that so i insisted i got tested. They did a POC rapid test, throat swab, rectal swab,urine sample, and blood sample from the arm.

The POC finger prick test was a 4th generation Determine HIV-1/2 Ag/Ab Combo which came back negative.
The blood sample lab version was an ARCHITECT what ever that is.

They said i did not need to be retested, can i rely on this advice, given all the symptoms etc?

On their website it says just because someone is negative it doesnt necessarily mean they are not infected.


Offline Ann

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2011, 09:27:21 AM »
Dave,

As you did not have a risk for hiv infection, you do not need to be re-tested. You do not have hiv.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

As for oral, not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Hiv really is a fragile virus.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER TESTING AT THIS POINT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

It's good to hear that your GUM clinic is on the ball and gave you correct advice. All too often here we see health care professionals giving out advice that is nothing more than "cover your ass" advice and it scares people unnecessarily.

You haven't had a risk, you don't need further testing, and you're good to go and get on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2011, 09:38:18 AM »

It's good to hear that your GUM clinic is on the ball and gave you correct advice. All too often here we see health care professionals giving out advice that is nothing more than "cover your ass" advice and it scares people unnecessarily.

Ann

It's probably because i went to a specifically gay GUM clinic which is a nhs trust, rather than a normal gum clinic which probably isn't as clued up or uptodate.

But as for the tests, regardless of risk or non risk, i believe the test they gave me would have been reliable at 40 days would it not?

Offline Ann

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2011, 09:49:03 AM »
Dave,

When there has been an actual risk, a negative at six weeks or more is a very good indication of your status.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative - where there has been an actual risk - must be confirmed at the three month point but is highly unlikely to change.

As you did not have a risk, none of this concerns you. You have reliably tested hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2011, 02:49:04 PM »
getting a cold sore on my lip today has nothing to do with it does it,haven't had one in years. :-\

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2011, 03:04:27 PM »
You did not have an exposure, so all your signs and symptoms have nothing to do with HIV.

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2011, 03:06:35 PM »
i just want to know if a cold sore is a symptom, not if it relates to me.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2011, 03:09:09 PM »
No, a cold sore is definitely not an HIV/ARS-specific symptom.
Andy Velez

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2011, 03:10:02 PM »
Thankyou. when you say specific? does that mean not specifically but could be sometimes?  Anyway, it's been over 6 weeks.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2011, 03:13:04 PM by daveuk »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2011, 03:17:02 PM »
Listen man, keep it simple. They symptoms which are sometimes associated with ARS often resemble other illnesses. That's one of the main reasons that symptoms or their absence are never to be the means by which you know your HIV status.

If you have had a genuine risk like either unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, then getting tested at 13 weeks is the only sure way to reliably know your HIV status conclusively. 

Ann has already confirmed to you that you have not had a risk for HIV so all this fretting on your part is totally unnecessary. If you decide to get tested now or in 13 weeks it is strictly for your peace of mind and NOT because you actually were at risk.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2011, 03:20:13 PM »
Dave,

Stress is a well known herpes (aka cold sore) trigger. Stop stressing out so much about your no risk incident and you probably won't have any more outbreaks. It's not hiv related, it's stress related.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2011, 05:02:06 AM »
well i was thinking maybe i was run down too because the last 6 weeks i have been reeeeeeeeaaaly stressed and had to bottle it up too, yesterday i felt fine, as soon as i felt this i was froze again, i went to the toilet last night and it was like diahorea which terrified me again, but maybe it's cos the coldsore just made my stomache knot up again, then i woke up this morning and the lymph node under my left jaw hurts, my wifes cough isn't going away either, but its been 6 and a half weeks now, they would be ars symptoms even if i had been infected would they?  I spoke to the gum again and they said there is no possibilty you were infected this way, and some woman called charlotte off i-base said exactly the same thing...... without sounding rude here, i know you all know your stuff but when there is even a theoretical possibilty of something happening, how come people like yourselfs or the gum clinic for instance are willing to put your necks on the line and say there is no need for re-testing when someone one day could find themselves sick in 10 years time down the road.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2011, 05:03:45 AM by daveuk »

Offline Ann

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2011, 07:17:44 AM »
Dave,

Having a cold sore outbreak can cause your lymph nodes to swell up - and when the sore is on your lip, the obvious place to get a swollen node is under your chin.

Stress will definitely cause diarrhea. Where do you thing the phrase "shitting myself" when in a frightening situation came from?

We feel confident in saying what we do about not needing to test over specific incidents because we also always say that anyone who is sexually active should be getting regular, routine hiv tests, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

In your case, as you are primarily in a monogamous relationship (and the both of you should have been tested for ALL STIs before you ever stopped using condoms) testing over this would be purely for your own peace of mind. You tested negative at 40 days and you do not need further testing.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2011, 09:41:49 AM »

We feel confident in saying what we do about not needing to test over specific incidents because we also always say that anyone who is sexually active should be getting regular, routine hiv tests, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. What about when you give that advice to someone who has tested over a single one off incident.



You tested negative at 40 days and you do not need further testing.
Why is it when i look on med help for instance and people ask how reliable a 6 week test is, teak will alomost always say "13 weeks is conclusive, or is that because they dont have the 4th generation combi tests we have here in the uk?



Ann



I popped into another gum clinic today and said that i had woken up with a cold sore and swollen lymph node under my jaw and she said i didnt need retesting either, but others say it could take longer to have enough reliable antibodies to show up before 12 weeks.  Does me having the antibody and antigen combined tests make my 40 days conclusive or not, never mind my risk, even if it was HIGH risk, would 40 days be conclusive? I just cant get my head round why people will seemingly guess at something that others will put a deffinate 3 months on, cos it could take years to find out they were actually wrong.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2011, 09:47:53 AM by daveuk »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2011, 09:50:08 AM »
Anyone who tells you that it could be up to a year before seroconverting and testing positive just doesn't know what they are talking about.

If you had a genuine risk you would need to test out to 3 months.

But you didn't have a risk and HIV is not your problem.

If you continue to come back here with more what ifs and buts about your non-risk, you are going to get a time out from the site. You're right at the edge of that now.

Cut it out and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline daveuk

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2011, 09:58:16 AM »
sorry, i meant 3 months, i went back and edited it but not quick enough.
What i dont get is, Ann said, 6 weeks if there was an actual risk is a good indicator but shout test out to 3 months, but as i did not have a risk i have tested reliably negative at 6 weeks, so basically i can only consider my test as conclusive because i didnt have hiv in the first place....... so what is the point of a 6 week test in the first place?  Isnt it possible someone could test neg at 6 weeks then pos at 12?  what about if someone considered low or no risk was told they are fine at 6 weeks and didnt test ever again,only to get sick years down the line and infect other people in the meantime.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2011, 10:00:15 AM by daveuk »

Offline Ann

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Re: Your opinion please
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2011, 10:10:01 AM »
Dave,

You do not need further testing because YOU HAVE NOT HAD A RISK. You could have tested the day after the incident occurred and the result would have been conclusive because YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK.

As I told you earlier, we always advise people that they should be having regular, routine hiv and sexual health check-ups. so don't try to make us look responsible for people who don't test regularly and only discover they have hiv when they become very ill.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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