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Author Topic: pls..give me some expert advice..  (Read 2926 times)

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Offline Malong

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pls..give me some expert advice..
« on: March 15, 2011, 12:02:53 AM »
hi ann and everybody here..im a foreign male tudent here in the US.. i had a 1mo relationship with a goodlooking gay and a very nice person..im in mid 20s by the way..my question is here..i havent tried having oral sex with a guy..so everything was new to me..this was the first time..i swallowed his pre cum but didnt ejaculate in my mouth when we first dated..so for the whole month we always kissed,,we shared foods..water even spoon and forks..when we started getting to like each other a lot he disclosed that he is HIV+ for  years..and hes under medication..accdg to him. which i could hardly believe into..i must admit im ignorant when it comes to this issue..he told me he never had any symptoms of HIV..even one..is that really possible?? he just found out that he was contracted by his ex boyfriend long time ago..when the guy told him that he was infected by somebody outside their relationship..i got scared because of unprotected oral sex we did..i sucked him and he sucked me too but he didnt cum in my mouth..but what was i thinking over and over was his style of sucking my penis: hes sticking his toungue out and feels like inserting his toungue-tip into my urethra..as if hes trying to open it wider.so my penis hurts when he did that..so we stopped..after a week then i got oral sores and until now im dealing with it..i got tested for STD..all came out neagative..but i didnt have HIV test yet..is it possible that he contracted me with the HIV? i didnt see any symptoms aside from oral sores im having right now..could it be possible that his case which according to him he didnt experience any symptoms when he found out he is positive could be my situation also..am i infected but didnt see any symptoms? its been a month now? what should i do? im scared to get tested..should i need to undergo HIV testing? pls..help...pls..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2011, 04:52:43 PM »
hi ann and everybody here..im a foreign male tudent here in the US.. i had a 1mo relationship with a goodlooking gay and a very nice person..im in mid 20s by the way..my question is here..i havent tried having oral sex with a guy..so everything was new to me..this was the first time..i swallowed his pre cum but didnt ejaculate in my mouth when we first dated..so for the whole month we always kissed,,we shared foods..water even spoon and forks..when we started getting to like each other a lot he disclosed that he is HIV+ for  years..and hes under medication..accdg to him. which i could hardly believe into..i must admit im ignorant when it comes to this issue..he told me he never had any symptoms of HIV..even one..is that really possible?? he just found out that he was contracted by his ex boyfriend long time ago..when the guy told him that he was infected by somebody outside their relationship..i got scared because of unprotected oral sex we did..i sucked him and he sucked me too but he didnt cum in my mouth..but what was i thinking over and over was his style of sucking my penis: hes sticking his toungue out and feels like inserting his toungue-tip into my urethra..as if hes trying to open it wider.so my penis hurts when he did that..so we stopped..after a week then i got oral sores and until now im dealing with it..i got tested for STD..all came out neagative..but i didnt have HIV test yet..is it possible that he contracted me with the HIV? i didnt see any symptoms aside from oral sores im having right now..could it be possible that his case which according to him he didnt experience any symptoms when he found out he is positive could be my situation also..am i infected but didnt see any symptoms? its been a month now? what should i do? im scared to get tested..should i need to undergo HIV testing? pls..help...pls..

Malong, the ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as the insertive partner always uses condoms for those activities you are well protected from HIV transmission.

As far as receiving oral, no guy has ever been confirmed to have been infected in that manner. And as far as giving oral, your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

It's important to know for future reference that other STDs are easier to acquire than HIV. So we advise anyone who is sexually active to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least once a year.

This time there is no need for testing for HIV nor for further concern on your part. Just make sure to use condoms if you get around to having anal intercourse.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2011, 04:55:47 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Malong

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  • Posts: 4
Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2011, 04:00:44 AM »
Andy tnks.. I really wanted to move on with out any worries.. I just need ur straight answer guys..u mean in this particular incident with mutual unprotected oral with the positive guy sends me away from the risk of contracting HIV?.. So i wont be needing to see HIV clinic in 6weeks to test? Pls guys tell me im silly.. But i just need assurance from u that i will be 100% negative evev if i dont go to check my status? Pls andy and group.. One more reply would make me happy at peace..

Offline Ann

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Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2011, 08:25:15 AM »
Malong,

As Andy already told you, oral isn't a transmission risk. Neither are any of the other activities you listed such as sharing forks or kissing.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER ANYTHING YOU BROUGHT TO US, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Malong

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Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2011, 01:37:13 AM »
thank u so much..andy..ann..and everybodyelses here..you guys really are a big help to everybody...sincerely thanks to all of you...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2011, 08:31:19 AM »
You're welcome.

Get on with your life and keep the condoms handy.
Andy Velez

Offline Malong

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  • Posts: 4
Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2011, 07:39:15 PM »
Dear andy,ann and co..
   Sorry to bother u guys once again.. But i keep on reading all of the latest forums here.. And i find it educational.. Well anyways, i ran into this guy couple a days ago at my place.. So for friendship sake.. I went out with him.. So while we were talking.. He asked me if iget tested.. I said why should i? And he expects me to turn positive.. I dont know if he was just trying to scare me..he said i better get tested. Coz symptoms in many cases really dont appear and later u will know ur carrying the virus without knowing it..accdg to him.. I ignore him.. But while driving back home. I kept thinking about it.. U said i didnt put myself atrisk with what happen the 1st time with him.. Hes tryin to give me this fright that 1 out 2 gay guys is hiv+ so hes convincing me that i dont need to find somebodyelse coz i will probably sure get another pos gay if ever i want tohave a relationship.. I really wanted to 4get evrything. As a matter of fact im getting married to a lovely woman this december.. I need to askyouguys.. Shouldnt i need to get tested? I didnt have any symptoms aside from oral sore after that happend? Should i get scared of wat he told me that hes expecting me to turn out positive.. Im lookingforward to my wedding.. Pls helpme forget this issue..i didnt get myself into any sexual encounter after that incident.. A piece of encouragement pls.. I swear i wont go with him again..

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2011, 09:26:37 PM »
Dear andy,ann and co..
   Sorry to bother u guys once again.. But i keep on reading all of the latest forums here.. And i find it educational.. Well anyways, i ran into this guy couple a days ago at my place.. So for friendship sake.. I went out with him.. So while we were talking.. He asked me if iget tested.. I said why should i? And he expects me to turn positive.. I dont know if he was just trying to scare me..he said i better get tested. Coz symptoms in many cases really dont appear and later u will know ur carrying the virus without knowing it..accdg to him.. I ignore him.. But while driving back home. I kept thinking about it.. U said i didnt put myself atrisk with what happen the 1st time with him.. Hes tryin to give me this fright that 1 out 2 gay guys is hiv+ so hes convincing me that i dont need to find somebodyelse coz i will probably sure get another pos gay if ever i want tohave a relationship.. I really wanted to 4get evrything. As a matter of fact im getting married to a lovely woman this december.. I need to askyouguys.. Shouldnt i need to get tested? I didnt have any symptoms aside from oral sore after that happend? Should i get scared of wat he told me that hes expecting me to turn out positive.. Im lookingforward to my wedding.. Pls helpme forget this issue..i didnt get myself into any sexual encounter after that incident.. A piece of encouragement pls.. I swear i wont go with him again..

Malong,

Your friend is an idiot. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

HIV doesn't care who people are, it cares what they do. So just being attracted to other men doesn't mean you're going to get HIV, you have to do something (like have unprotected anal sex) to be infected.

You were not at risk of infection.

MtD

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: pls..give me some expert advice..
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2011, 06:26:11 AM »
Malong,

Congratulations on getting married. But, do you remember the advice I gave you earlier?


You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.


This applies to both you and your future wife. Before you start having anal or vaginal intercourse with her, you BOTH should test for ALL sexually transmitted infections, including but NOT limited to hiv. It's what responsible people do.

As long as you have always used condoms for intercourse, you can fully expect your hiv tests to return with negative results.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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