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Author Topic: Losing interest.  (Read 1396 times)

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Offline Nextdoor_guy

  • Member
  • Posts: 82
Losing interest.
« on: May 22, 2011, 01:41:46 PM »
Hey guys, been long time since didn't post but now feel like am going totally fucked up.

I am losing interest over everything. Can't get any satisfaction even though I do what I used to enjoy before, am feeling more angry, when I go out clubbing and see all the people on drugs or having unsafe sex without any problem, I spend more and more time alone, even though I cannot "call myself" depressed.

So what scares me a bit is that am getting Comfortable with the thought of Suicide. If before was something to be scared of, not it becomes very constant in my mind, without having any problem about it.
And I dunno if I wanna go on antidepressants again, I am already fed up with the ARV pills.

p.s I don't need pity, because am not sad, but am curios if any people around been trough the same phase... and what's to do...
There's too much confusion.

Offline spacebarsux

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2011, 01:47:17 PM »
I am losing interest over everything. Can't get any satisfaction even though I do what I used to enjoy before, am feeling more angry, when I go out clubbing and see all the people on drugs or having unsafe sex without any problem, I spend more and more time alone, even though I cannot "call myself" depressed.

So what scares me a bit is that am getting Comfortable with the thought of Suicide. If before was something to be scared of, not it becomes very constant in my mind, without having any problem about it.

It sounds like some pretty bad depression to me. I think you should see a therapist asap before you do 'start calling yourself' depressed.

Hang in there.

Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline Joe K

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  • Member
  • Posts: 3,838
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2011, 01:59:43 PM »
Thoughts of suicide are not normal or healthy and I hope you see this as a wake up call, to do something because doing nothing is not an option. I suffer from clinical depression and what you describe are classic symptoms of depression and I hope you will seek out the help you need. While you may not like the idea of antidepressants, they do help to restore chemical imbalances and can be very useful, even on a temporary basis. From what you describe, I think that both medications and therapy are required, to help you to understand, well, you.

I hope you understand that having depression is nothing to be ashamed of and there is help available. When you reach the point, where suicide becomes a possible solution to your issues, that becomes a glaring warning sign. Seriously, thoughts of suicide are very dangerous and I urge you to talk with someone immediately. There are some things that are beyond our ability to face alone and this is one of those times. Please do not wait.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,502
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2011, 02:02:02 PM »
I am no expert but it does sound like depression has set in.  We all go through it from time to time but if the thoughts of suicide are becoming frequent, take that as a red flag. 

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,975
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2011, 02:12:33 PM »
Hi Nextdoor:
From your post - which was  very honest  and forthright, you have identified that something is going on.  With everything you have been through and having had a previous experience with depression (you said that  you were on antidpressants before), it sounds like you know what you need to do to get over this hump and to prevent the depression from getting worse. 

I had depression several years ago and I know that the hardest part about it was finding the ability to go and take care  of it.  But, when I saw the therapist and psychiatrist and got on Remeron it got me through it.  I stayed on the Remeron for about 90 days - I just needed something to get me back to where I could function and come of of the fog and darkness.

Please take the guidance of Joe and the  others and go see someone - there is nothing wrong with  going to your local crisis unit and/or hospital and letting them know where you are emotionally and that you need some assistance.  Please do it - not later, but now.  It will be the best gift you can  give yourself.

September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2011, 02:27:41 PM »

I am losing interest over everything. Can't get any satisfaction even though I do what I used to enjoy before.

I spend more and more time alone, even though I cannot "call myself" depressed.

p.s I don't need pity, because am not sad, but am curios if any people around been trough the same phase... and what's to do...

Been feeling the same way in many respects, hon (I just don't talk about it in here). I know depression very well and it sounds like you have hit one of them valleys.  The suicide thoughts need to be addressed however, you don't want them to become actions.  Everyone else has given you some good advice; talking this through with a therapist will be very helpful.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Jeff G

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  • Member
  • Posts: 12,709
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2011, 03:24:57 PM »
There is some excellent advice here . I was dealing with depression for years and insisting I didn't have it and wasn't sad , ignoring it made a mess of my life eventually and I wish I had done something sooner than I did .

Getting help can be tricky some time so don't be discouraged if the first person you see to address this issue is less than perfect , just keep trying until you get it right . 

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,577
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2011, 03:39:45 PM »
There was a good thread regarding people finding that they where more isolated, although you are not feeling sad your post ain,t jolly and thoughts re suicide well please keep a check on that.

For me the problem with losing interest is that it is can be self feeding .When I loose interest in general it has never come back without me doing something about it, Fake it till you can make it sort off thing.

This virus takes alot off energy to cope with wether you are activly ill or not . I am glad you have posted this and not allowed the lack off interest prevent you hope this leads on to feeling more connected and active, though if this continues get some help about it .
Best wishes
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,036
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2011, 03:55:29 PM »
Can't get any satisfaction even though I do what I used to enjoy before, am feeling more angry, when I go out clubbing and see all the people on drugs or having unsafe sex without any problem, I spend more and more time alone, even though I cannot "call myself" depressed.

First of all, think again about being envious of people having "unsafe sex without any problem".  So those people are, in fact, already HIV+, or will become so eventually.  Plus the other STDs they are at risk for.  Sure, it looks hot and horny but you don't see the doctor visits do you, you just see the moment of passion. 

Secondly, haven't you other interests in life besides clubbing??  Why not concentrate on something less heated for your psyche, at the moment.  If you do want to go out and socialize, pick places where you could actually talk, not just loud bars and discos (and sex clubs?) where all this bareback sex is happening.

If you can't call yourself depressed, lack of interest in life and suicidal thoughts are nevertheless a sign of depression.

What about a short course of SSRI's and getting yourself some therapy. Reach out to whatever friends and family you have and tell them how you are feeling. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Schedir

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2011, 08:46:55 PM »
I do not wish to get into a discussion of a controversial nature, but I was diagnosed with clinical depression years ago while kicking my heroin addiction. I was put on effexor and while it helped me temporarily, I feel that in my case it did more harm than good.

The only thing I use for depression at the moment and works 100% is medicinal cannabis. I do not want to give you a suggestion here, only a thought.
Si vis pacem, para bellum

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,239
  • Ninja Please
Re: Losing interest.
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2011, 10:11:58 PM »
To the OP: you're depressed. It can be fixed. Consult a doctor.

MtD

 


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