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Author Topic: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.  (Read 2552 times)

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Online mecch

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Remember a couple of weeks ago someone posted that great blog where lesbians and gays post their childhood pictures?

I can't find it again, could someone repost?

Then we had the post about the transgender caveman.  

So now I hear its run of the mill to have parents who are cool with their kids experimenting in behaviors and looks that are usually gender coded.

In the early 80's when I was in college, there was a professor (of Human Sexuality, of course) on campus whose kids were doing all this breaking of gender codes.  It was so unusual and edgy and lefty progressive.

National Interest
J.Crew Ad Showing Boy With Pink Nail Polish Sparks Debate on Gender Identity
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/04/11/jcrew-ad-showing-boy-pink-nail-polish-sparks-debate-gender-identity/#ixzz1JgoBrLQY

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2011/04/jcrew/
The J. Crew Nail Polish Kerfuffle — “Take That, Outraged People!”

Just wanted to say I think its great how "cool" many segments of society, and many regions, are getting and all these kids can grow up with less stress and shame and more liberty.  After all, its hardly the end of the world if a little boy goes through a dress-wearing period..
« Last Edit: April 16, 2011, 08:51:39 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2011, 09:24:08 AM »
Remember a couple of weeks ago someone posted that great blog where lesbians and gays post their childhood pictures?

I can't find it again, could someone repost?

Is this the one?

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=36437.0

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2011, 10:02:28 AM »
Aren't many of us living examples of how children are going to eventually be who they are, no what their parents want?

Online mecch

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2011, 10:49:39 AM »
Is this the one?

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=36437.0

no its some blog on the internet and there are page after page where people post pictures of when they were young.

OK I found it, its called Born this Way

http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Online mecch

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2011, 10:51:55 AM »
Aren't many of us living examples of how children are going to eventually be who they are, no what their parents want?

Sure, but a lot of kids had to, and still have to, struggle against rigid gender roles, and applied sexual identities.

I just thought this story was encouraging because it seems so mainstream now to just let kids do their thing.  In certain places, of course.

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline next2u

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2011, 02:05:16 PM »
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

this is a repost from earlier in the same vein. enjoy.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2011, 03:43:43 PM »
One of my white coworkers, who is a pastoral counselor, gave her son a black baby doll to help foster tolerance, self expression and a nurturing instinct. Last time I talked to her he had ripped both it's legs off.

Online mecch

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2011, 04:12:31 PM »
If the kid didn't ask for that doll, well, good for him.  PC parents shoving politics on their young'uns.  Jeez.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2011, 07:08:54 PM »
One of my white coworkers, who is a pastoral counselor, gave her son a black baby doll to help foster tolerance, self expression and a nurturing instinct. Last time I talked to her he had ripped both it's legs off.

I got a doll from a woman in New Orleans once that came with pins, matches, and a noose. 

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #9 on: April 16, 2011, 07:20:35 PM »
I got a doll from a woman in New Orleans once that came with pins, matches, and a noose. 

Sympathetic magic, I presume.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2011, 09:18:28 PM »
That doll ended up being shredded by our golden retriever before I could make good use of it.  The dog started having issues and was never the same afterwards.  I just keep a portrait in my attic these days.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2011, 09:20:27 PM by hope_for_a_cure »

Offline next2u

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2011, 10:51:40 PM »
lol....poor dog.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #12 on: April 17, 2011, 02:58:20 AM »
One of my white coworkers, who is a pastoral counselor, gave her son a black baby doll to help foster tolerance, self expression and a nurturing instinct. Last time I talked to her he had ripped both it's legs off.

That's hilarious, best intentions gone astray.

Offline Ann

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #13 on: April 17, 2011, 09:31:33 AM »
One of my white coworkers, who is a pastoral counselor, gave her son a black baby doll to help foster tolerance, self expression and a nurturing instinct. Last time I talked to her he had ripped both it's legs off.

If the kid didn't ask for that doll, well, good for him.  PC parents shoving politics on their young'uns.  Jeez.

Jeez yourself. Lots of kids do that sort of thing with dolls, regardless of the colour of the doll. The fact that he ripped its legs off more than likely had nothing to do with the colour.

My daughter had dolls of both colours - it was never an issue. She also had tons of toys that could be considered boy's toys, like cars and trucks and things like that. She loved all her toys and played with them pretty much equally. She had little tiny dolls that she would put in her vehicles and drive them around, things like that.

I just keep a portrait in my attic these days.

I gotta try that! ;D
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Offline thunter34

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #14 on: April 17, 2011, 09:44:20 AM »
I just always undressed dolls immediately.  I was born slutty, I suppose.  Barbie looked pretty hot naked, but Ken seemed a bit of a disappointment. 

Some of the guys I've gone out with since have effected me the same way.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Online mecch

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #15 on: April 17, 2011, 09:54:39 AM »
Catching up on my weekly Daily Show, I see this was the big story on the 13th.
http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/thu-april-14-2011-ricky-gervais

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Online mecch

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #16 on: April 17, 2011, 09:56:12 AM »
Jeez yourself. Lots of kids do that sort of thing with dolls, regardless of the colour of the doll. The fact that he ripped its legs off more than likely had nothing to do with the colour.
Oh save it Ann!  I didn't say that the kid did if cause of color.  I just imagined the parent was horrified cause the doll was selected to teach some lesson.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #17 on: April 17, 2011, 10:12:28 AM »
Lighten up people. The child is 18 months old and the mom told the story with a humorous sense of irony that I obviously failed to convey.

(She used the word "paraplegic". That must have been where I went wrong... Much funnier.)

Offline Ann

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #18 on: April 17, 2011, 10:15:13 AM »
(She used the word "paraplegic". That must have been where I went wrong... Much funnier.)

~giggle~ :D
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #19 on: April 17, 2011, 12:46:11 PM »
I really didn't play with dolls much -- no Barbie's as I didn't have sister, but I had a G.I. Joe.  But my favorite thing was this "children's mop" (as in an old fashioned yarn mop) with a red pole/handle that I made into a doll by drawing a face on the mop head.  I also had a bright colored broom and was very, VERY fond of sweeping.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #20 on: April 17, 2011, 01:55:13 PM »
Hahaha... This thread has gotten me thinking about how I was as a kid. I vividly remember "decorating" my mom's hair with hairpins and clips while she was watching TV, how I sneaked into my friend's bedroom and played with her Barbie's Dream House, or when we were reading the Berenstain Bears books, I had identified myself as Sister Bear.

Seriously, Mom, you didn't see this coming? Oh lawd! I'm in fact having coffee with her in about half an hour at Starbucks. I'm definitely gonna have to tell her all this!


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Online mecch

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #21 on: April 17, 2011, 03:45:42 PM »
You should check out that blog.  People tell the back story to the childhood picture.  I think its very touching.

http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #22 on: April 17, 2011, 04:13:41 PM »
You should check out that blog.  People tell the back story to the childhood picture.  I think its very touching.

http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/

That is an interesting site. Thanks for posting the link.

Online wolfter

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2011, 08:26:32 PM »
Barbie Dream House....oh that brings back memories.  Luckily I had a baby sister and she had everything Barbie.  She had the 4 floor townhouse and it was huge.  I totally helped her decorate and that was when I first learned to sew because it didn't come with window coverings.  I eventually started making clothes for the dolls.  I should have never had to "come out".  As a matter of fact, I played with it more than she did.
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Totally digging relaxed gender codes for kids. Its a new age.
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2011, 08:41:52 PM »
Barbie Dream House....oh that brings back memories.  Luckily I had a baby sister and she had everything Barbie.  She had the 4 floor townhouse and it was huge.  I totally helped her decorate and that was when I first learned to sew because it didn't come with window coverings.  I eventually started making clothes for the dolls.  I should have never had to "come out".  As a matter of fact, I played with it more than she did.

Tee-hee... I actually had little sewing projects when I was in 7th grade. I took home ec with the rest of my deaf classmates (I was born deaf) at school and just loved sewing, so I would borrow my mom's sewing kit and do embroidery in my room.

Again, Mom, how did you not see this coming? :D
« Last Edit: April 17, 2011, 08:49:00 PM by SunnyFlorida »

 


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