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Author Topic: Yet another hopefully just paranoid worry well on giving oral with ejaculation..  (Read 2323 times)

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Offline testerXXX

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  • Posts: 4
Hi.  New to this forum and this HIV world.  So many questions.  I have read the welcome and rules stuff so if i break either I'm sorry in advance.  With that said let me tell my story, which from reading a lot of other similar stories I kinda know what your reply will be...

This gets a little winded but its nice to be able to vent a little to people that know something about this rather than following links on goggle that are so vague and put bad thoughts in my head.  But my actual questions are at the very bottom so if/WHEN you get bored reading this you can just skip to the bottom.

Thanks for you time...

I am 41 mwm.  On March 28 I hooked up with a guy from craigslist.  He and I were looking for discrete clean ddf (drug and disease free) oral and/or hand job.  He wanted only to receive and I only wanted to give.  Perfect match...so I thought.  I drove to him, entered his hotel room and in the dark began playing with and oral on his penis.  It was a little of both hand job and oral and lasted at most 10 minutes.  There was as I recall a lot of saliva.  He did ejaculate in my mouth, full insertion at the time so farther back in my mouth "away from my gums" (if that even really  matters).  I instantly swallowed, no swishing around first.  I got up and left.  Drove home.

Now I will tell you why I am here asking about this...

My paranoid fears actually began on the drive home.  My throat just didn't feel right.  HIV infection honestly didn't even cross my mind at that point.  This was only the third time in my life I have done oral on a guy, but the first time I have swallowed another guy (i have swallowed my own semen).  I figured that it was just an irritation from being the first time with another guy.  I did however want to know so I started googling about it.  Well what do you know...links of HIV popped up also.  That's when I started to worry.  I tried to email that guy and asked if he was in fact HIV+ but he still to this day has not answered any of my emails.  That added to my paranoia.  I started following the HIV links about everything related from symptoms to when they would start showing and all the rest.  That's when I started to spiral downhill.  Every little thing i felt or saw on me I would instantly goggle with HIV in the search.  Everything was a possible symptom of HIV (and any number of other virus or illness).  I do have to say though that most everything that I saw or felt I have had on more than one occasion throughout my life on a fairly regular basis.  But just like another post I saw here (sorry if this breaks any rules) going through my head I'm thinking how coincidental can it be that soooooo many symptoms pop up so soon after I perform a such an unsafe sex act (reading now it might not be as unsafe as I thought).  I am a fairly rational paranoid skitzo and trying to put myself at ease told myself the symptoms are too early to be HIV.  I wont bore you with everything I had (or thought i did), you know what the symptoms are.  If I actually sat down and took some time i could prob be able to write off most of them to my lifestyle or work or someting. 

There are 2 things however that I am having a hard time putting a finger on.  One is swollen neck lymph nodes...to my knowledge I have never, not even when sick, had swollen neck nodes.  Used to get strep all the  time growing up and got the chin nodes a lot.  The second thing is in the last few days at work I seem to be sweating more than usual.  I have a physical job that I lift and carry and walk allot.  I still don't recall sweating as much as I have at the times I have.  Early in the morning when the temp outside where I work is about 40 F (USA sorry hehe). 

Anyway this post is getting very very long and so i don't lose your interest I'll throw out a few questions i have now...

Do my actions on that night warrent any concerns for possible HIV infection?

Today is day 16 after possible HIV infection, with most if not all of my symptoms happening in the first week, most only a few days after...Is that too early, if in fact I did get HIV infected, to see any symptoms from the infection?  (the swollen neck lymph nodes happened on day 13, 14 and 15.  The were definitely swollen but seemed to go away later each night)

I'm drawing a blank right now on other questions but i know i have more.  If i remember any others i will post them after i hear back from you on this post.

Thanks

Mike

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
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  • Posts: 25,354
Whatever was going on with you symptomatically had/has nothing to do with HIV. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV if it is present.

There's no need for testing nor for further concern on your part.

Like many guys who have gone straying, this is really all about guilt. You did what you. It's a part of your history now so accept that, let it go and get on with your life.

This is not and HIV situation.
Andy Velez

Offline testerXXX

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Hi Andy thanks for the post. I knew that is how it would be cuz of the many posts about the exact same situation. I just wish there were more exact studies on oral than the one that you guys cite here for every oral post.

It's soooo weird how stress and anxiety affect the body. I've been a nut case for the last 15 days.

Ugh I wanna ask more questions but I know they will all be answered the same and I will be too to go get my test if it makes me feel better and enjoy the negative result. Lol. I guess that's a great thing.

Mike

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 25,354
If you get tested it is strictly for your peace of mind. There was no risk. 
Andy Velez

Offline testerXXX

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  • Posts: 4
Ok i know you guys hate this cuz your quick saliva kills hiv answer is easy and may be correct, but like all the other paranoid worry well's on the forums i googled again (sorry) about saliva killing (or inhibiting), however you want to phrase it, and i am finding allot of people saying that because of the saltyness of semen and the semen to saliva ratio in the mouth that saliva can not stop hiv.  They also threw in there about blood from gums blah blah...and yes i did read what you said about punching someone in the face over and over to make them bleed...So without just giving me the standard cookie cutter answer and telling me that if im worried go get my negative test, can you please explain to me why their theory is not logical?  And i did also read a thing or two about how saliva can and does kill hiv

Mike

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 25,354
If you continue to surf the net I can promise you that you will unquestionably find misinformation to feed your worst fears. All to no good purpose.

Would you prefer for us to say jeez, you know there might be some risk when we don't think that is so. Claims of infection through giving oral never seem to hold up under careful scrutiny. And ongoing longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight, who had lots of mutual unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal have resulted in not one sero-negative partner having become infected.

So if you want to torture yourself with doubts that is up to you. And you can get tested and collect the inevitable negative result.

I can tell you we are not going to do what ifs with you. And if you continue to return here about a non-risk situation, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. .
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Hi Andy thanks for the post. I knew that is how it would be cuz of the many posts about the exact same situation. I just wish there were more exact studies on oral than the one that you guys cite here for every oral post.

It's soooo weird how stress and anxiety affect the body. I've been a nut case for the last 15 days.

Ugh I wanna ask more questions but I know they will all be answered the same and I will be too to go get my test if it makes me feel better and enjoy the negative result. Lol. I guess that's a great thing.

Mike

What, three studies aren't enough for you? One of those studies went on for TEN years, following hundreds of couples. Why keep on proving what we already know? Studies cost money, you know. In all three studies, not one of the negative partners ended up poz when condoms were used for anal or vaginal intercourse but no barrier for oral.

If our answers seem simple, it's because it really is that simple. It's pretty straightforward. Sexually speaking, the only real risks for hiv infection are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. At the risk of repeating myself -  IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

As Andy says, you are more than welcome to worry all you want and test to put your mind at rest, but there's really no reason for you to do this to yourself.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline testerXXX

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Thanks Ann for jumping in his thread. I like readin your replies. You seem to put a little more effort in them. But I'm still curious about m previous post about semen being too salty for saliva to kill HIV. It wasn't a what if question it is a curiosity question because I know very little about this stuff. If you don't mind please give me your thoughts on that. If not I'll jus move on.

Thanks

Mike

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Tester,

In all the years I've been reading studies old and new about hiv transmission issues, I've never once come across any references to semen being too salty for saliva to have an effect either way. As there are no references to this issue, it's safe to assume that it has no basis in fact.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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