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Author Topic: please, need some advice and help  (Read 1772 times)

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Offline oreocook

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  • Posts: 7
please, need some advice and help
« on: June 16, 2011, 09:52:32 AM »
Hi everyone :)

i am aware of the abundance of queries regarding oral sex and hiv transmission but i just wanted to share my concerns.

I am a bi male, who has pretty much no sexual experience, apart from one time, about 2 and a half weeks ago where i gave unprotected oral to a guy i have known for a long while. I say i have known him for a long while, but we don't meet regularly, he is part of an extended family that isn't directly related to me.. if that makes any sense.

I gave him unprotected head for about...40 seconds... no ejaculation.. and i'm not 100% sure there was precum but i doubt it. I have very good oral hygiene.. but you never know. He claims he was 100% clean, obviously this means nothing, but i'd figure he'd be pretty stupid to lie considering he knew it was my first time with another guy, and that he is part of an extended family that i have easy access too. I bugged him online for a while about testing and he was responsive at first, telling me he got tested for everything accordingly and was clean, but i guess my anxiety got the better of me and i kept pestering him so he got a pit pissed off to say the least, with his last words 'Whatever i'm going to say isn't going to stop you worrying, how many times do i have to say i'm clean before you STFU'. nice.

Bearing in mind that was my only sexual experience to date. never done anything else with another guy or anyone else at all on that note.

The day after, i experienced frequent urination...with a slight dull ache in the penis area. This lasted for about... 4 days then disappeared. i am a self confessed anxiety sufferer, and a slight hypochondriac, so i took to the local GP and took a chlamydia test. came back negative. then after, my anxiety levels and stress increased. i started to become constipated and my stools were soft. also noticed a mild white coating on the tongue...but it wasn't strong enough to be thrush i don't think. so i took another trip to my GP and said all my 'symptoms' were due to anxiety. about a week later after the encounter, my leg muscles started to ache. not terribly, but noticeably (especially walking up stairs or elevated platforms). Took a trip to the local sexual health clinic, she took a swab of my throat for gonorrhea and chlamydia, did another urine sample test, everything came back negative. The sexual health advisor was very helpful and very calm when i explained about my possible exposure. She said 'even if he came in your mouth, i wouldn't be too concerned about you contracting HIV'. i guess this supports the theory that it is so much harder to attain hiv from oral transmission albeit possible.

 really i'm just praying this is all it is. Anxiety, and not HIV. got another scheduled appointment at the sexual health clinic tomorrow... to ease my anxiety.. it's terrible. been losing sleep, not being myself... legs are still pretty achey... armpit irritation has gone, but that little raised lump is still there...not even sure what that is. I've read that acute hiv symptoms usually appear all at once and the most common symptom is a high fever, which i haven't experience and hopefully will not experience. I'm not really in any pain, I just feel not me... maybe it really is anxiety..

i am so sorry for the essay. as you can probably tell im a bit of an OCD kinda guy. would love to hear your thoughts :)
« Last Edit: June 16, 2011, 10:20:01 AM by oreocook »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2011, 10:36:51 AM »
You never had a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline oreocook

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  • Posts: 7
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2011, 10:56:17 AM »
thanks, but is it really as simple as that?

Offline oreocook

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  • Posts: 7
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2011, 01:03:47 PM »
apologies, out of curiosity is this what an ars rash sterotypically looks like?


http://www.nature.com/nrd/journal/v2/n8/images/nrd1151-f4.jpg

Offline oreocook

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  • Posts: 7
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2011, 08:58:43 AM »
anyone else care to shed a little more light on my potential exposure?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2011, 09:40:07 AM »
Your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which form a very effective barrier against the transmission of viable HIV.

As for the rash, if it appears, it is flat and non-itchy. If it  occurs at all, it is on the body trunk and arms for a week or two.

You need to know that neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms is a way to know anything reliably about your HIV status. If there has been a real risk sexually such as unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, only an HIV specific test can give you a reliable answer. For a conclusive result testing should be at 13 weeks.

But you didn't have a risk and no testing nor further concern is necessary.
Andy Velez

Offline oreocook

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2011, 04:56:46 AM »
thanks andy, my mates have told me my so called 'rash' was just dry skin, and they proceeded to show me their dry skin too, so that side has been settled.

Out of curiosity, is 'muscle pain' with ars associated with sharp piercing pain? or can it be dull ache pain? i am suffering from dull ache pain in the leg, and slight in the arm. 'muscle pain' just seems very broard.

if i truly have ars, then i only have 2 so called 'symptoms' which would be the muscle aches in the leg and arm, and a very minor dry cough that doesn't affect me majorly.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2011, 08:34:54 AM »
You are still focusing on symptoms, so I repeat as said previously:

You need to know that neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms is a way to know anything reliably about your HIV status. If there has been a real risk sexually such as unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, only an HIV specific test can give you a reliable answer. For a conclusive result testing should be at 13 weeks.

You did not have a risk for HIV. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline oreocook

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  • Posts: 7
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2011, 05:58:31 AM »
thanks andy, the sexual health advisor said that i can take the 3 week post exposure result (which was negative, got the result today) as conclusive given the extreme low risk of my exposure. would you agree?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2011, 07:16:14 AM »
Oreo,

Your situation was NOT "extremely low risk", it was NO RISK. NO. RISK.

You do not have hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline oreocook

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2011, 06:26:07 AM »
thanks for your reassurance ann,

I am receiving mixed messages about whether or not to return for a 3 month 'conclusive' test, even though my sexual health advisor said that i can really take the 3 week test as conclusive because he was so adamant that i had no risk at all. not sure what to do..

is weight loss considered a later stage of hiv infection or can it occur at any time?

sorry for repeated posting, i am in a very fragile state of mind at the moment

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please, need some advice and help
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2011, 09:47:20 AM »
Oreo,

You're not getting any mixed messages here - you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection. You do not need further testing. Your three week negative is conclusive.

You do NOT have hiv!

I'd wager your weight loss, if you are actually experiencing this, is due to your obsessive worrying about this NO RISK event. If you can't let this go and get on with your life, perhaps it is time for counselling. We cannot help you with that here.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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