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Author Topic: Am I at risk of getting HIV?  (Read 3588 times)

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Offline scharf15

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Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« on: April 06, 2011, 06:03:40 AM »
Hey guys,

I chanced upon this forum. Anyway, I had sex with a sex worker on 4th April (am going to get checked 1 month later cause I'm extremely worried [or paranoid] that I contracted HIV)

Anyway, I'm not sure of the sex worker's status but she carries a condom around in her bag (it's alright right? as it's not compressed or anything).

Anyway, I performed cunnlingus on her and from what I've read so far my chance is low? (cause HIV is in the fluid at the cervix not the vaginal fluid that occurs when the girl gets aroused or something? ) I just wanna re-assure myself though :X

In addition, *sorry for graphic details* but I sucked her nipples, fingered her and had protected vaginal sex with her. I'm not sure if she put on the condom correctly but I assumed so since she appeared to know what she was doing (i'm just afraid there were some small holes/tearing in the condom). But if it's anything, after the sex, me being paranoid, I went to fill the condom up with water (didn't really wash it) to see if it leaked. The first time there were some drops though I think that was because when I filled it up, some water got splashed on the outside but after patting it dry and filling it up again, there was no leak even as I squeezed near the tip. Does that mean the condom is safe?

Also, after that, I checked my fingers and mouth and found no visible sores/cuts but I'm still worried of contracting it. How likely am I to get it? [Let's assume she is HIV + for worst-case scenario]

Thanks & sorry for the lengthy post :-[

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2011, 06:32:44 AM »
In addition,

I've heard that it is also possible to contract HIV even with a condom on so I'm worried. Thanks a million!

Offline ngo1

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2011, 06:45:10 AM »
Well,relax man.u don't say how long ago this was coz if its within 72 hours and you can trace her for a test then u have a chance for PEP.
Condoms work most of the time and even in the absence of one,assuming you didn't have any STIs,the chances of you catching it are very low.
All the best with your test,keep us posted
"Those who pray hundred times a day are not necessarily better than those who masturbate a couple of times a day"......

Offline ngo1

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2011, 06:52:47 AM »
 I've heard that it is also possible to contract HIV even with a condom on so I'm worried. Thanks a million!

Yes it is and am one example of such rotten luck but that has more to do with the type of condom used and its storage conditions.I for one used a a thin latex condom kept under direct sunlight which i didn't notice until after my bad test result! Ideally,if your condom didn't break and it sounds like it didn't,u have nothing to worry about.
"Those who pray hundred times a day are not necessarily better than those who masturbate a couple of times a day"......

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2011, 07:03:19 AM »

Yes it is and am one example of such rotten luck but that has more to do with the type of condom used and its storage conditions.I for one used a a thin latex condom kept under direct sunlight which i didn't notice until after my bad test result! Ideally,if your condom didn't break and it sounds like it didn't,u have nothing to worry about.

Oh is it? Mine was that the sex worker provided the condom. She seemed to carry one in her handbag with her and it appeared alright. It had a light green covering - Durex condom and it hadn't expired yet.

Yea It didn't break catastrophically like what I've read around in some forums but still I'm just concerned that there was a tiny hole or anything (though she wasn't wearing any metal - not sure bout fingernails but I doubt hers were long)

I doubt I can catch her and as for PEP i'm not sure... thanks for the reply though! Sorry about your case! :-[

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2011, 07:50:46 AM »
Scharf,

I'm sorry, but please disregard the responses you got from ngo. He is not authorised to answer questions in this forum and his answers are not quite correct. For example, you absolutely do NOT need PEP.

Nothing you did was a risk for hiv infection. We always assume the other person is hiv positive when giving risk assessments in this forum.

Protected intercourse is just that - protected. Condoms do not develop tiny holes. When they break, it is very obvious and from what you told us, yours definitely did not break. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Fingering is not a risk for hiv infection and it does not matter if you bite your nails, have hangnails or other cuts or scrapes on your fingers. Not one person has ever been infected through fingering and you will not be the first.

Sucking nipples is not a risk for hiv infection, even in the unlikely event that breast milk was present. Breast milk only carries a risk to tiny babies who rely solely on breast milk for their nourishment.

Cunnilingus is not a risk for hiv infection. Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect.  

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER ANY OF THE CONCERNS YOU DISCUSSED HERE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2011, 07:53:06 AM »
ngo,

Please do not post in the Am I Infected forum as you are not authorised. I sent you a PM regarding this matter - please read it.

Thank you very much for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2011, 06:26:31 PM »
Thank you Ann! But I would like to clarify one last thing. Before insertion, she applied some lubricant on the condom and in the heat of the moment, I did not check if it was oil based or water based. I understand that oil based lubricants might weaken/damage the condom? Im also not sure how long she kept the condom in her handbag. Would these factors weaken the condom and somehow reduce it's effectiveness? Thus increasing my risk of contracting HIV? Thanks! :(

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2011, 06:59:29 PM »
Thank you Ann! But I would like to clarify one last thing. Before insertion, she applied some lubricant on the condom and in the heat of the moment, I did not check if it was oil based or water based. I understand that oil based lubricants might weaken/damage the condom? Im also not sure how long she kept the condom in her handbag. Would these factors weaken the condom and somehow reduce it's effectiveness? Thus increasing my risk of contracting HIV? Thanks! :(

You continue to worry totally needlessly. While it is true that oil-based lubes can weaken a condom, if your condom had failed it would have been very apparent to you. When that happens it's not about some itty bitty hole. The whole thing gives way and ends up looking like a hoop with fringe on your penis.

As for how long she had it in her purse, now you're getting into worrying about what ifs , which is very bad thinking. Give it up and get on with your life. You have no cause for further concern.

Just keep using condoms everytime you have intercourse and you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2011, 05:48:35 AM »
Thank you, Ann and Andy Velez for your expert knowledge & help!!

I'm sorry Andy but basically you're saying that I'm safe and it's just me being paranoid and coming up with 'What Ifs' ? I thought so too but it just feels good hearing it from some other people!

Once again, thank you for your help!

Cheers!

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2011, 07:54:11 AM »
scharf,

Yes, that's exactly what Andy is saying - you've being paranoid and coming up with whatiffs. For your own sake, stop it.

As we've told you, when a condom breaks, it is very obvious. Yours did not break. Oil does not make a latex condom get thinner (which I'm thinking you are thinking) it weakens the latex in such a way that it breaks apart - not in little holes, but in huge rips. You'd see it, you'd know it. And you certainly would not have been able to fill it with water.

You also need to remember that sex workers use condoms for THEIR protection, not yours. A sex worker is not going to use any lube on a condom that might make it break.

You did not have a risk. We can't say it any plainer than that. Please ditch the guilt you're so obviously carrying around over seeing a sex worker and get on with your life. You did nothing wrong.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2011, 04:49:53 AM »
Sorry didn't mean to bring the old post up but didn't want to create a new thread either.

Anyway with regards to my very first post, recently (this week in fact at the 4th week mark), I had this swollen lymph nodes in my ear (although I used to have them before) and flu like illness (only in the morning though).

But those 2 I'm not that worried since it has happened before however earlier this week on 2/5, when I woke up I found that i had these red itchy rash on my left arm.  1 on my left knuckle and 3 clustered near the elbow joint with about 2 more spread around on the arm.is there a need for concern? Also yesterday, i had this small sore/ulcer on my lip though it does not hurt nor is it swollen.

Also assuming the sex worker had STD, would my actions in my
First post have increased my chance of getting HiV? Thank you! 

Thanks  :-\
« Last Edit: May 07, 2011, 05:31:57 AM by scharf15 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2011, 06:34:38 AM »
Scharf,

You were right to use your original thread. That's what we ask people to do in this forum's Welcome Thread which you should have read before ever posting.

As you were repeatedly told, you have not had a risk for hiv infection. Even if she had some other STI, you were still not at risk for hiv infection.

If you're worried about your skin or if you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you did not have a risk for hiv infection.

Give it up and get on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2011, 03:48:51 AM »
Sorry Ann I'm not doubting you but are you sure? I just need some reassurance  :-\

Anyway, I found some white coating on my tongue that looks like Thrush but it's not like those in google images where the white coating is in patches. Rather that coating on my tongue is spread over the entire tongue and after brushing my teeth, I brushed my tongue and I found some blood (though I'm not sure from where).

However, the area that I brushed didn't appear sore or red. Thanks ???

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2011, 05:12:25 AM »
Sharff,

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2011, 09:21:51 AM »
Thank you Ann! and I'm sorry for posting excessively. I realized that I'm just worrying needlessly and coupled with the guilt, it made me overreact  :-\

Thank you for your help! I've decided to get tested tomorrow at the 5th week mark just for peace of mind and so that I can put it to rest.

Once again thank you for your help throughout all of this, I would like to contribute too if that's possible. Thank you!  :)

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2011, 09:31:53 AM »
Schaff,

As you are not in the States and we do not yet have online donations enabled, I suggest you donate to your local ASO (Aids Service Organisation). When you help one of us, you help us all.

You can find an ASO near you by using the database at aidsmap.com.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2011, 09:45:59 AM »
Thanks again Ann!

Will do. I'll post back here tomorrow with the results of my test *hopefully negative*  ;)

Offline scharf15

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2011, 09:18:16 AM »
Hey Ann sorry just some last few questions.

I remembered that when I gave cunnilingus, I had just recovered from a sore throat (took medicine on sunday felt well on monday which was when I gave her cunnilingus)

and I also had an operation on my shoulder in Feb (would this have affected the results in anyway?)


Lastly, went for the rapid test where they prick your finger. Got results in 10 mins (quite fast the usual estimated time is 15 - 20) But yea Negative!  :D

The counsellor told me I need not return for the test at the 3rd month. so yea thank you for all your help Ann!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Am I at risk of getting HIV?
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2011, 09:29:12 AM »
Your negative result is no surprise here since you didn't have a risk for HIV to begin with.

Let this go and get on with your life. You are HIV negative. Period.
Andy Velez

 


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