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Author Topic: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there  (Read 6048 times)

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Offline zazi22

  • Member
  • Posts: 10

being positive and dating has proved to be extreemly difficult for me, Im not sure what to do anymore. almost everyone I get to date freek out over the fact that Im HIV +, It doesnt make a difference anymore whethere you tell him soon enough or you wait until you get to know him better. Im just so drained.

I tried internet dating so many times, I have been there since 2007 if Im not mistaken and gues what, they are either twisted liars or they having problems in their relationships and their are looking for a person to distract them a little. I just dont know how to deal with all of this anymore. Im not getting any younger and Im terrified of being alone.

any idears?
with lots of love always
zazi22

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2011, 08:35:54 AM »
Hi Zazi. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time dating wise.

Have you tried dating men who are also hiv positive?

You might consider volunteering somewhere like NAPWA in Durban. Their phone number is 031 304 4182  and they're located in Anton Lembede Street. There's bound to be hiv positive men who work or volunteer there. There also may be hiv negative men who work or volunteer there who would have no problem dating a positive woman.

Another place in the Durban area you might want to get in contact with is the Centre for HIV/AIDS Networking (HIVAN). Their phone number is 0860 448 911 and they are located in King George V Avenue, Howard College, University of KwaZulu-Natal.

Good luck hun, everyone deserves a little love in their life! Let us know how it goes.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline klassykitty

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  • Posts: 381
Re: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2011, 12:59:08 PM »
Zazzi
there is hope.  I met a guy and when i told him he was and is afraid.  But he's willing to at learn about it.  Before that I joined a photography club.  I had a profile on Hivnet.com, not sure if they offer that where you are at.  With my job schedule at the time it was hard to meet guys at all, so I joined the dating service.  My brother calls them "desperate dating sites", of course he doesn't mention that he met his girlfriend on one.
Michelle 8)
How to handle stress like a dog:
If you can't eat it or play with it.....
then pee on it and walk away

Diagnosed 01-20-2011
01-23  CD4 32    VL 125,400
02-18        76     VL 189
03-14  no cd4 test done   VL-52
04-14   69  VL-UNDECTABLE  YEA!!
05-26   50  whoopsy  
06-27   71        %-7
08-15   64 WTF %-9 
10-16  80         %7  
2012  CD4  %Thing   VL-UD
01-18  87    7
04-18  93    8  
07-16  151  8         
10-18  83    9    VL-70
2013   CD4   %thing       VL-UD
01-28  121     9
04-24  148    11   
07-25  157    11   
10-22  185    13
2014   CD-4  %thing   VL-UD
02-07 201 YEA!!!!!!  12
06-03  205      12

Offline BusyDame

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  • Posts: 15
  • It is my body so the battle to good health is mine
Re: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2011, 07:17:53 AM »
Zazzi

I identify 100% with what u 've been thru, infact it has happened to me, I lost count, some have even targeted my purse, yes there is poverty but some of it is pure exaggeration. My last get lucky was just as hard a hit as any but a hard hit is all it was. Not that I 've resolved my loneliness problem and find it a comfort, I have resolved to be normal in my loneliness because  a wrong relationship can crush your health especially if you endup being emotionally out to a passing cloud. 

If you can't find someone on earth to love you at least love yourself dearly.

Offline chocaholic

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
Re: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2011, 12:15:10 PM »
i found him when i wasnt looking. i had given up on men and had decided to just be with someone without getting emotionally attached. he had other ideas and when he found out my status he was pretty upset but we're still together after more than a year. i wish yu luck, there are a few good men left out there

Offline BigDaneDogs

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
  • Obviously does NOT like my FB pic.
Re: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2011, 10:27:46 PM »
OMG -- can I identify with this poster.  My initial "dump" was the guy I was seeing when I was dx'd.  He was pos and it didn't bother me yet when I was dx'd, it took him less than 6 hours to dump me because "he didn't want to be with someone who was pos".  Go figure that one.  I have been single for the entire 18 years of my status.  The "freak out" factor just gets old and tiring.  Hence my name, I now just contend myself with two "human sized" dogs.  They are my 7th and 8th Great Danes and following along the lines of my Dawinian life, my puppy Zeus has severe medical issues  :-[.  So even in "dogland" I get to deal with someone who is jacked up but at least he still loves me none-the-less.
BigDaneDog because I have two big Danes.
Member since 1993

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please let me know what one have to do to get a decent guy out there
« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2011, 10:56:41 AM »
BDD,

I realise you mean well, but as a man you should not be posting in the Women's forum. Please don't do it again.

Some of the sub-forums have Welcome threads stickied at the top of the forum's index page - this is one such sub-forum - and you should read them where ever they appear because sometimes they include instructions for posting in that forum.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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