Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 18, 2014, 10:18:36 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 22212
  • Latest: glo9003
Stats
  • Total Posts: 620178
  • Total Topics: 46725
  • Online Today: 216
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: I hate my life  (Read 6171 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline IgotTigerBlood

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
I hate my life
« on: April 03, 2011, 11:36:25 PM »
I've gone through rough times, like I'm sure we all have. Every now and then, I can't seem to separate myself from all the fucked up shit surrounds me; the flashbacks (my pre to post HIV experience) that linger throughout the day, beating myself up for all of my mistakes, and everything it is that I hate about myself. There are times where I'm financially broken, and can't put food on the table. I've even been rejected, outed on my status, thus humiliated, and chastised.


Though, these things cross my mind, I try to filter them out by doing something that I enjoy. One of those things being writing. I love to write! It's the best method for me to release all of the constipation in my head. Whatever way my pen wants to express itself in regard to my life, it always helps me feel better! Doing something you love or that interests you, is like a laxative for your brain!



So do what ever it is that makes you even a little happy, as long as it's not self-destructive, and you will definitely feel the difference! Keep your mind occupied, and maybe even try something new!
« Last Edit: April 05, 2011, 12:30:13 AM by IgotTigerBlood »
You wish you knew...

Offline IgotTigerBlood

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Overwhelmed?
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2011, 05:12:38 AM »
We all have gone through rough times. Every now and then, you can't seem to separate yourself from all the fucked up shit surrounds you; beating yourself up for all of your mistakes, and misfortunes. There may be times where you're practically broke, and can't put food on the table, let alone cover your medical expenses. Maybe you've been rejected, outed on your HIV status, humiliated, or chastised due to the ignorance of others. Though, these things cross your mind, you can filter them out by doing something that you enjoy.

(e.g.) I love to write! It's the best method for me to release all of the constipation in my head. Whatever way my pen wants to express itself in regard to my life, it always helps me feel better!

Doing something you love or that interests you, is like using a laxative for your brain! All of the hard shit in your life is what you need to get rid of!

So do what ever it is that makes you even a little happy, as long as it's not self-destructive! You should feel clearer-minded, and more at ease, in general. Keep your mind occupied, and maybe even try something new!
You wish you knew...

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,588
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2011, 06:30:21 PM »


           Well Igot , I have a nice life . Often it is very difficult to live with my Husband .

         Recently I have stopped drinking  ( to cleanse my liver ) this has caused undo stress .

         I tyred to post last night but it came out all wrong  ???
   
          Today I took a Clonazapram and just worked ALL day on the house . We had a good time ! 
         My feet are killing me !   But I feel good , you know that I am ready to fall over pooped  GOOD !

           I need to get out and play with my  old Convertible . I have put my fun stuff on hold till

        we get the house done .  Going on 5 years now !   

          A day of  working on a car or  even playing with rocks and stone with the tractor   , counts as

            a nice day !

            Bob is making me dinner   :)  , He made me a wonderful breakfast this morning !

             Maybe a little birdee told him I feel like crap !

            It is all I can do to do FUN things . God forbid I had to do something I did not like  :o

            Tonight I will read     & watch for Tornadoes !

                                        Have a great night , Carl
" Live and let Live "

Offline IgotTigerBlood

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2011, 05:21:11 PM »
I see, Carl. Good for you!

Besides writing, I like to do drugs for fun! Though, I shouldn't mix the two...

That's why I've been a little off lately, e.g. this thread being questionable, and fiercely odd.

Fuck it lol. I'm just not good at being an optimist... pretending to be something I'm not.

Oh well, It doesn't hurt to try, I guess...

You wish you knew...

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,180
  • 30 Years Poz
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2011, 05:29:21 PM »
Hey Tiger,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now.  It can become very easy to be overwhelmed by adversity, so it is good that you find an outlet in your writing.  That being said, I think you should do yourself a favor and stop focusing on what you hate.  Negative thoughts are very powerful and from what I read, you are reacting more to others and what you believe they think about you.  I understand how you can feel this way, but I ask that you look very close and you will see that many things in life, are simply beyond our control.

What matters in life is understanding that there is nothing wrong with you, you are who you are and that is enough.  You do not need the approval of anyone to be true to yourself.  You will never be defined, by what others say about you, unless you allow it to be.  Yes you are poz and your life will change, but certainly not end.  The only limitations you will experience right now, are of your own making, so please go easy on you and give it some more time.

Being poz does not end anything, it simply alters it and you will move on.  If you refuse to be cowed by HIV, including the stigma, you will find that how you view yourself will change dramatically.  You have a disease and you are the same person today, that you were prior to infection.  The only difference is now you are poz.  What that means to you, is something for you to decide and do not ever let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with you... just the way you are.
Life is what happens, when you are busy making other plans.

Though you may be only one person in the entire world, to one person, you may be the entire world.

I wish to become half the man, that my dog thinks I am.

Remember me with simple acts of kindness and I will live forever.

Offline IgotTigerBlood

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2011, 05:36:18 AM »
Hey Tiger,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now.  It can become very easy to be overwhelmed by adversity, so it is good that you find an outlet in your writing.  That being said, I think you should do yourself a favor and stop focusing on what you hate.  Negative thoughts are very powerful and from what I read, you are reacting more to others and what you believe they think about you.  I understand how you can feel this way, but I ask that you look very close and you will see that many things in life, are simply beyond our control.

What matters in life is understanding that there is nothing wrong with you, you are who you are and that is enough.  You do not need the approval of anyone to be true to yourself.  You will never be defined, by what others say about you, unless you allow it to be.  Yes you are poz and your life will change, but certainly not end.  The only limitations you will experience right now, are of your own making, so please go easy on you and give it some more time.

Being poz does not end anything, it simply alters it and you will move on.  If you refuse to be cowed by HIV, including the stigma, you will find that how you view yourself will change dramatically.  You have a disease and you are the same person today, that you were prior to infection.  The only difference is now you are poz.  What that means to you, is something for you to decide and do not ever let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with you... just the way you are.

Wow, thank you, you're quite insightful, and I appreciate and value your response...thanks again :)
You wish you knew...

Offline jayrock1199

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2011, 05:52:11 AM »
I totally feel you.  I was outed myself by the company I work for after putting my foot in my mouth and sharing with my HR manager my HIV status.  Which she in turn shared with my supervisor who through such a shallow mind put something on her facebook page about me having HIV.  I was totally oblivious to the situation until someone brought it to my attention.  Since that time I had to get some counseling.  Would you know if there is some kind of legal action I can take?

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,110
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2011, 12:38:28 PM »
I totally feel you.  I was outed myself by the company I work for after putting my foot in my mouth and sharing with my HR manager my HIV status.  Which she in turn shared with my supervisor who through such a shallow mind put something on her facebook page about me having HIV.  I was totally oblivious to the situation until someone brought it to my attention.  Since that time I had to get some counseling.  Would you know if there is some kind of legal action I can take?

If all they did was talk about it, then I don't think there is anything you can do.  As soon as you have some sort of work related issue though (aside from people now simply being aware of your status) I think you can sue the hell out of them.

Offline 7359915653

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
  • Imagine
Re: I hate my life
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2011, 12:29:10 AM »
Medical information is private and confidential at the work place - yes there is legal action you can take but you must follow your company's policies first such as a grievance.  You have to answer what would remedy your complaint?  Your supervisor can be sued for defamation and negligence for posting it on her facebook.  The company can be held negligent for not having trained the supervisor about proper procedures regarding confidential health information from HR.  If its a small company, then again they can still be held accountable.  They most likely would settle with you outside of court.

When you share with more than two people then its no longer confidential but a disclosure; however, your HR manager is still within privacy expectations.  Talk to an attorney.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2011, 12:31:13 AM by 7359915653 »
05/17/2011 - Dx
VL 2422 copies/ML; 1100 CD4/ waiting on appointment with HIV specialist.
08/31/2011 - <60 copies/ML; 750 CD4/46.4% CD4..
03/29/2012 - <20 copies/ML not detectable; 904 CD4/47.6%

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.