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Author Topic: found out i gave handjob to poz  (Read 4842 times)

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Offline biguy

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found out i gave handjob to poz
« on: April 02, 2011, 10:45:26 AM »
hello this is my first post so please be kind!   I have lived in terror the past 3 weeks.  My situation is this.  I have been in a committted relationship for years.  From time to time, I engage in exchanging hand jobs with other dudes.  I was tested for HIV and was negative over a year ago.  With that result, I aimed to be safe or as safe as i could with every encounter.  I have not engaged in any type of anal sex(EVER), and have not had oral but twice and both times with a condom.   Three weeks ago, I met a dude (whom i presume positive, although he said 'all was good' 6 months ago.)  We rubbed massaged and i jerked him a bit and he jerked me a bit before putting a condom on me to blow me.  As he was giving me head, he was jacking off.  He then reached over and opened a little pack of lube.  He rubbed my nipple and then reached down to try and insert his finger in me.  He did not penetrate me with his finger.  What if he had precum on his finger with the lube when he fumbled for my hole?  i bleed sometimes when i wipe going to the bathroom.  What if i had a tear or something.  Every other time i have jacked off with dudes there has NEVER been any 'mouth to genital', or 'genital to genital contact'.    I have never allowed a guy to cum on or near me.  I have engaged in this type of mutal masturbation 'quite a bit'  maybe 15 times or so- the most me coming in contact would be precum on hand (which i don't even think that has happend) But it wasn't until this time with the whole finger thing that has really got me upset.  I have had anxiety attacks, not been eating well, have been paranoid, have run through worse case scenarios in my head over and over, i now have drainage causing my glands to become swollen a bit.. ARS?  Allergies?  Depression is setting in quick.  Please help me guys.  i just want my life back and be happy again.
I can barely work!
i

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2011, 10:48:31 AM »
You are worrying unnecessarily without any basis in HIV science. Nothing you have described is in anyway a risk for HIV transmission.

The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms everytime for those and you will be well protected against HIV transmission. It really is that simple.

Let it go and get on with your life. This is absolutely not an HIV situation.
Andy Velez

Offline biguy

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2011, 10:51:55 AM »
if i get a rapid test (for peace of mind)  how accuarte would a test be at 3-4 weeks?  I CAN NOT BELIEVE your kindness in your response!!!!!!!!!!!  so i can have uprotected sex with my girlfriend without fear of having her contract HIV? 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2011, 04:14:00 PM »
If you had a genuine risk, which I hasten to say you did NOT, then getting a negative result at 6 weeks would be a very strong indication that you would continue to test negative at 13 weeks.

But you didn't have a risk and testing is totally unnecessary. If you do test it is strictly for your peace of mind.

And yes, you can safely have sexual relations with your longtime gf. You were not at risk and you can't give her a virus you don't have.

Take a breath, let it go and move on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline biguy

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2011, 08:09:46 PM »
thanks again for words of  comfort and reason.. and once again for your response.....ill let it rest and now, thanks to you sleep well tonight....peace and thanks...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2011, 07:43:23 AM »
You're welcome. Hope you had a good night's sleep.
Andy Velez

Offline biguy

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2011, 11:32:29 AM »
  I can't let it go if I go today to get tested 4 and a half weeks would that be conclusive for me.   I know 6 is standard but I can't get it out of my head

Offline Ann

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2011, 11:34:40 AM »
BG,

ANY time you test over the concerns you have brought to us will give you a conclusive result as you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline biguy

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2011, 11:38:52 AM »
Your respones time is wicked!! terrific. It is mental with me and unhealthy. My eras grew up with a h I v scare tactics. The test is free and anyomomous. I am terrified I think I need to do it for peace of mind. It is scary though. Thankful for people like you. Any other advice? This day in age you were almost scared to explore yourself outta fear

Offline Ann

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2011, 12:39:35 PM »
BG,

The only other advice I can think of to give you is the following information on how to avoid hiv infection.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER ANY OF THE SPECIFIC SITUATIONS YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline biguy

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2011, 02:46:29 PM »
I went at 4.5 weeks.   After in my brain having ars symtops weeks ago to find the oraquick saliva came back NEG!!!!! Can I take it to the bank? !!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2011, 05:09:21 PM »
BG,

ANY time you test over the concerns you have brought to us will give you a conclusive result as you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann

As far as taking it to the bank, re-read what Ann has said to you about NO RISK!
Andy Velez

Offline biguy

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2011, 07:10:54 PM »
ok concerned again.. i was over this whole chapter until i had blood work down and showed i had low testosterone.  I googled it and it is a sign of early HIV infection... i am scared again...what the hell is wrong with  me...does this test on the test change anything?   

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Terrified with Fear-Helpl
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2011, 08:19:19 PM »
If you continue searching the net and elsewhere I can guarantee you will find fuel to feed your worst fears. And all to no good purpose. Low testosterone is not in anyway an HIV specific occurrence. It can happen when HIV is not an issue.

I'm going to say it one final time: you did not have a risk for HIV.

I am also going to warn you that if you continue to come back with more handwringing over a non-risk incident, you are going to find yourself getting a 28 day Time Out from the site.

HIV is not an issue for you. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline biguy

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found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2011, 09:09:21 AM »
I'm scared...really scared...I was drinking. Around 1am I was messing around wrestling -nothing sexual  -and a dude bit my finger. It did not bleed and actually wasn't sore I forgot about it.  Around 9 -10 am I met up with a dude.  Only thing I did was a handjob on him.  I dont recall precum.  He came on bed.  Later in day my finger was sore(still is) and realized that it had a small bite recalling events 8 hours before. It burned when.hot sauce came in contact.   I just found out the dude I gave the handjob to was hiv poz ...so .....I gave a handjob to an hiv poz man with a bite that was 8 hrs old on my finger.   This was Friday and finger still hurts.  I'm terrified ... losing my mind and not thinking clearly.  Advice???? He came on bed not me. Its the hand genital contact with 8 hr old small bite and confirmed poz status I'm beyond disdraught

Offline RapidRod

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2011, 09:31:23 AM »
■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.


■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.

Offline biguy

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #16 on: November 16, 2011, 09:47:23 AM »
I'm so sorry and apologize could u merge the two threads?  Am I worrying needlessly again?
« Last Edit: November 16, 2011, 10:29:57 AM by biguy »

Offline Ann

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #17 on: November 16, 2011, 10:38:43 AM »
Biguy,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





Please re-read your entire thread, and pay particular attention to the information you were given in reply #9.

Yes, you are worrying needlessly. The only thing that bothers me about your latest concern is that you are only freaking out because the man you were with is allegedly hiv positive. You need to assume that ANYONE you have sexual relations with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly.

All you need to do to protect yourself is to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse. The rest of it - mutual masturbation, frottage, fingering, oral, are not risks for hiv. Yes, it really, really is that simple.

As a sexually active adult you need to have FULL sexual health check-ups at least once a year. Provided you're using condoms correctly and consistently for anal or vaginal intercourse, you can fully expect the hiv portion of your results to be negative. Other STIs are another matter. They are MUCH more easily transmitted and many of them can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

To summarise, you have NOT had a risk for hiv infection and you do NOT need to test over this specific handjob incident. You only need to test if you haven't tested in the past year and if this is the case, you need to test for ALL STIs, not just hiv. It's what responsible adults do. Think of it like going to the dentist - you might brush and floss regularly, but you still get yearly check-ups.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline biguy

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #18 on: November 16, 2011, 11:24:55 AM »
Thank you so much. So broken skin is irrelevant with known status? You are kind and it radiates through your tone and aura on this site.  Peace....

Offline Ann

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #19 on: November 16, 2011, 11:46:58 AM »
Biguy,

Broken skin is irrelevant. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline biguy

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #20 on: November 16, 2011, 03:40:38 PM »
Okay...so with 6-8 hr old cut and hiv precum possibly coming in contact with it I can stop thinking about it and safetly resume sexual relations with my gf without fear of hiv aquiring it and passing it to her...???

Offline RapidRod

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #21 on: November 16, 2011, 03:42:42 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #22 on: November 16, 2011, 08:20:44 PM »
In the thirty year recorded history of the HIV pandemis NO ONE has ever been documented as having gotten HIV from a handjob. Cuts scrapes and rashes included. Such a transmission has not been achieved in the lab, in simian studies, or in long term studies with HIV people in relationships with HIV negative people.

If you test positive over this incident, you will be the first in history. You would be the subject of intense scientific scrutiny and most likely your healthcare would be paid for by whatever research entity, private or government, that manages to study you.

HIV simply is not transmitted that easily.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #23 on: November 16, 2011, 09:06:19 PM »
And at this point I am going to tell you if you continue to return over this totally non-risk incident with yet more doubts and questions, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

Test if you want to for your peace of mind. You didn't have a risk and you need to get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline biguy

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz/should i start PEP?
« Reply #24 on: February 08, 2012, 04:56:22 PM »
almost 36 hours ago i was at my hotel  i came back to hotel really intoxicated.  actually i remember bits and pieces but am scared out of my mind.   This older gentleman helped be back to my room from the elevator.  Next thing i know hes on bed with clothes off... i start masturbating.   I remember that he tried to suck my dick and I do remember i told him i don't do that i just jackl.  Next thing i remember i jacked off and came on his leg/crotch area.  not sure how much time passed.  I vaguely remember jerking him for a bit.  I can almost be certain no oral took place.   But was really drunk.  I have never done anal sex at all, ever.   What if I had sex and don't remember?  I do remember telling him no and pushing away when he wanted to suck me.   Would i have felt something the next morning? what should i do? go to er?  i must have passed out told him to leave or something.  I don't remember him leaving..what a nightmare.  I am in a relationship with a girl and scared.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #25 on: February 08, 2012, 05:07:24 PM »
Your question was answered in another forum. Had you had anal sex you would have known.

Offline biguy

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #26 on: February 08, 2012, 05:32:46 PM »
thanks for a second opinion...always helps  thank rr!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: found out i gave handjob to poz
« Reply #27 on: February 08, 2012, 05:51:15 PM »
Your question was answered in another forum. Had you had anal sex you would have known.

And cut out mixing excessive drinking with casual sex. It's a dangerous combination.
Andy Velez

 


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