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Author Topic: Private messages  (Read 19695 times)

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Offline PrettyHeart

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Private messages
« on: March 30, 2011, 12:43:53 AM »
Ok to all that talk to me in private messages, I guess I don't belong here because I have to make sure I don't answer to anyone to where I'm not allowed. I got disrespected (and yes you were rude!) because I replied to a poster under "am I infected" ..sorry I know how it feels to be infected! I will send out my private email to whom I respond with as I won't be visiting these boards anymore. As if I don't deal with enough BS in life!

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2011, 12:49:05 AM »
Ok to all that talk to me in private messages, I guess I don't belong here because I have to make sure I don't answer to anyone to where I'm not allowed. I got disrespected (and yes you were rude!) because I replied to a poster under "am I infected" ..sorry I know how it feels to be infected! I will send out my private email to whom I respond with as I won't be visiting these boards anymore. As if I don't deal with enough BS in life!

Pretty is kvetching because she chose unwisely to respond in AMI without first reading the Welcome Thread for that forum.

Now considering that more than one of y'all know how it is to be kicked in the keister for posting in AMI without the EXPRESS PERMISSION OF HER ANNSHIP I think it would be nice if some love and hugs could be sent Pretty's way.

We wouldn't want to lose her from the forums just because she took a big crap on the rules, now would we? :)

MtD

Offline PrettyHeart

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2011, 12:59:50 AM »
If anyone could "kindly" explain to me how to remove my profile from this site, it would be greatly appreciated

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2011, 01:14:08 AM »
If anyone could "kindly" explain to me how to remove my profile from this site, it would be greatly appreciated

PrettyHeart,

I think you're talking this too personally. This is a wonderful site full of incredible people brave enough to come forward and be open about their status, as well as their HIV-negative friends and loved ones. You did violate the rules, but during my short time here I've seen quite a few people ignore the rules in that forum, sometimes repeatedly after being warned. Can you imagine how frustrated the powers-that-be are?

I looked at Matty the Damned's post:

Quote
Ugh. This thread is so wrong in so many ways.

Littlebear, fuck off back to your original thread, after 16 posts you should know the rules.

Pretty, you're not authorised to respond in AMI threads, so don't. Stick to your own thread. Stay out of AMI.

Ya dig?

MtD

/edit: to correct my orignal message since it appears Pretty is a pozzie./

Doesn't seem all that rude to me, honestly. All he did was tell you to stay out of that forum - as in, not reply to any threads. You're not authorized. Simple as that. I know you have good intentions at heart, but there are perfectly valid reasons for that forum being limited to a select few people. Giving the wrong advice could seriously harm someone physically or psychologically and I imagine it can cause liability issues for this website. Please, leave it to the select few authorized to reply in that forum.

Myself, I am not HIV+ but I'm here because of my friend who is poz and I would NOT dream of giving advice to anyone in this forum relating to HIV. It's not my place at all because I cannot draw from experience nor formal training, as it isn't your place to advise people who are worried about their statuses since you have not been trained in these matters.

With all that said... I do hope you'll decide to stay.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 01:16:01 AM by SunnyFlorida »

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2011, 01:21:32 AM »

Myself, I am not HIV+ but I'm here because of my friend who is poz and I would NOT dream of giving advice to anyone in this forum relating to HIV.

I don't think, in light of that, that you're supposed to be posting outside of "Someone I Care About..." or "Off Topic" yet you have been.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2011, 01:23:46 AM »
PrettyHeart,

I think you're talking this too personally. This is a wonderful site full of incredible people brave enough to come forward and be open about their status, as well as their HIV-negative friends and loved ones. You did violate the rules, but during my short time here I've seen quite a few people ignore the rules in that forum, sometimes repeatedly after being warned. Can you imagine how frustrated the powers-that-be are?

Werd!

Quote
I looked at Matty the Damned's post:

Doesn't seem all that rude to me, honestly. All he did was tell you to stay out of that forum - as in, not reply to any threads. You're not authorized. Simple as that. I know you have good intentions at heart, but there are perfectly valid reasons for that forum being limited to a select few people. Giving the wrong advice could seriously harm someone physically or psychologically and I imagine it can cause liability issues for this website. Please, leave it to the select few authorized to reply in that forum.

Myself, I am not HIV+ but I'm here because of my friend who is poz and I would NOT dream of giving advice to anyone in this forum relating to HIV. It's not my place at all because I cannot draw from experience nor formal training, as it isn't your place to advise people who are worried about their statuses since you have not been trained in these matters.

With all that said... I do hope you'll decide to stay.

Child, you've got me all in a quandry. On the one hand, you're right because you're defending my position. You've made a powerful ally today. :)

But on the other hand you're a neggie posting in Living With.

Generally speaking y'all kind is chased out of this forum (something I've never agreed with) even though the rules about posting in LW are not clear.

Goderators, can we get a ruling here? Are the mortals allowed to post in LW or not? If not change the subtitle of the forum to reflect that.

That said, the rules about AMI are clear. Unauthorised folks should stay the fuck out of that particular sewer trap.

MtD

Offline PrettyHeart

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2011, 01:24:34 AM »
"stay out" means stay out..as I cannot even read the threads? And as I've said, I don't have a problem with rules, life is all about rules. I don't give advice to where I know nothing about it, trust me. But as being positive, yes I do know some things. I wouldn't have taken it to heart if he would have just explained it a little better instead of "stay out" and "ya dig?"  Then maybe I could have apologized and wouldn't dare go back in there again!

So glad you are not positive!

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2011, 01:25:54 AM »
I don't think, in light of that, that you're supposed to be posting outside of "Someone I Care About..." or "Off Topic" yet you have been.

I went over this with Andy Velez. The description for the "Living with HIV" forum reads:

Living With HIV
For HIV+ individuals and their friends & family

My friend is on this forum under the name klouny, and I'm here because I care for him as more than a friend - more like a little brother. The forum has helped me out tremendously by allowing me to draw from others' experiences with reacting to their seroconversion to help my friend out. If it's really a problem for me to post in that forum, please let me know and I will cease.

Edit: I should add that Andy told me to "Keep it simple", which I interpret it to mean that there are certain lines I shouldn't, and will not, cross. ;)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2011, 01:32:17 AM »
I went over this with Andy Velez. The description for the "Living with HIV" forum reads:

Living With HIV
For HIV+ individuals and their friends & family

My friend is on this forum under the name klouny, and I'm here because I care for him as more than a friend - more like a little brother. The forum has helped me out tremendously by allowing me to draw from others' experiences with reacting to their seroconversion to help my friend out. If it's really a problem for me to post in that forum, please let me know and I will cease.

You've got a point here. And it's a matter I've raised with the Goderators on numerous occasions. They can't seem to agree on who is allowed to post in LW and who is not.

As a pozzie my view is that you should be permitted to post here. Many people live with the virus, not just those who are infected.

We need to include those who are affected as well as those who are infected.

To that end I think the Someone I Care About should be merged with Living With.

Of course, cross me and I'll change sides in a heartbeat. :)

MtD

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2011, 01:36:03 AM »
Child, you've got me all in a quandry. On the one hand, you're right because you're defending my position. You've made a powerful ally today. :)

But on the other hand you're a neggie posting in Living With.

Generally speaking y'all kind is chased out of this forum (something I've never agreed with) even though the rules about posting in LW are not clear.

Goderators, can we get a ruling here? Are the mortals allowed to post in LW or not? If not change the subtitle of the forum to reflect that.

Hmmm... I did notice some inconsistency in enforcing this rule. That's why I had a brief talk with Andy. How about instead of barring us outright, how about imposing and enforcing stricter rules on us. Something like not giving HIV-related advice, for example. What do you think?

You've got a point here. And it's a matter I've raised with the Goderators on numerous occasions. They can't seem to agree on who is allowed to post in LW and who is not.

As a pozzie my view is that you should be permitted to post here. Many people live with the virus, not just those who are infected.

We need to include those who are affected as well as those who are infected.

To that end I think the Someone I Care About should be merged with Living With.

Of course, cross me and I'll change sides in a heartbeat. :)

MtD

I agree with you that many people who aren't infected live with the virus, but I'm not sure about merging the two forums. On one hand, the "Someone I Care About Has HIV" forum isn't really all that popular - only one person responded to a thread I made there last week asking for advice. On the other hand, that would blur the lines and make enforcing the rules (that I suggested above) more difficult.

And you don't have to worry about me crossing anyone. ;) I try to be careful to follow the rules and be respectful of others! I own a gay-oriented forum and have been a moderator on several so I know how the game's played.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 01:37:49 AM by SunnyFlorida »

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2011, 01:42:10 AM »
With all due respect, I believe that only poz people should be posting in the Living With HIV forum. It is not that members, who are not poz, cannot be supportive or compassionate, it is that they are not poz and therefore are not living with HIV. I had no idea the rules for this forum were not specific as to you having to be poz to post in this forum and no offense, but I have no desire to hand hold folks, who are negative, by having to explain to them things that pozzies share. I don't like the idea of another forum becoming a free for all and we gave them their own forum and this one should remain for solely poz posters.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2011, 01:43:46 AM »
Pretty,

I made the mistake once of posting in the Am I Infected forum.  I didn't read the posting rules--just like I rarely read any fine print, which can often get ya in trouble.  I'm not sure what was said to you.  Of course, my first reaction when someone tells me I can't do something is to feel attacked.  But, after thinking about it, I get it.  I'm not qualified to deal with people in that forum who often have a lot of psychological issues--many, not all.  I'm not sure what the criteria is for someone to be able to post there.  I would think you need experience in dealing with people who have psychological issues.  I say that with no disrespect to those people.  Many of us have psychological issues and I don't mean it as a slur.  

When I first came here, I also posted once in the LTS forum and was scolded for that.  At that time, there wasn't an official rule that a non-LTS member could not post there.  But, I later understood the LTS members wanted and needed a forum for themselves, so posts didn't get all clouded up with things that didn't have anything to do with being a LTS.  I had asked a question about someone who got a liver transplant.  I was new and asked whether HIV and/or the meds often destroy the liver.  I felt some jumped on me and were rude--saying "they don't have time to coddle me" or something like that.  But, I got over it and moved on.  The Living With HIV forum is confusing.  It says it is for people living with HIV and their family and friends.  However, people who post about their friends or family are told not to post.  They should really change the posting rules for that.  Again, I don't know what was said to you, but I would just try to realize there is a reason for the posting guidelines.  If someone asks whether they got infected from kissing, for example, and I say some docs say it is possible to transmit via deep french kissing and then other posters say that is bull, then it would cause debates and confuse the people posting questions there.  Plus, from that one post in Am I Infected, I began to get PMs from a couple members asking me whether they had HIV, because they got a cold after having sex.  I would tell them a cold doesn't mean anything and if they're worried they should get tested.  They would send repeated questions that were similar.  I finally had to tell them I'm not suppose to answer their questions and to ask them in the forum.        

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #12 on: March 30, 2011, 01:45:49 AM »
Hmmm... I did notice some inconsistency in enforcing this rule. That's why I had a brief talk with Andy. How about instead of barring us outright, how about imposing and enforcing stricter rules on us. Something like not giving HIV-related advice, for example. What do you think?

I agree with you that many people who aren't infected live with the virus, but I'm not sure about merging the two forums. On one hand, the "Someone I Care About Has HIV" forum isn't really all that popular - only one person responded to a thread I made there last week asking for advice. On the other hand, that would blur the lines and make enforcing the rules (that I suggested above) more difficult.

And you don't have to worry about me crossing anyone. ;) I try to be careful to follow the rules and be respectful of others!

Well I just think the Goderators have never made this rule clear. On the one hand they created Someone I Care About but on the other they left the subtitle of Living WIth quite ambiguous.

When I first joined this forum back in the Stately Days of Yore there were no restricted forums. There wasn't even an Off Topic. It was a complete fucking free for all. In fact we didn't really know who was a Goderator and who wasn't.

That changed and eventually we ended up with all these Balkanised subforums.

Now don't get me wrong, I support specific forums for specific purposes. I totally agree with the rules governing the AMI forum. Also the presence of a Women's forums.

And if those diagnosed prior to 1996 feel the need for their own precious space, then I support the existence of the coffin dodgers Long Term Survivors' Forum. Frankly it's a good place to contain people who have nothing better to do than prattle on about how nasty ddI was.

As if anyone gives a shit.

But Living With should be something different. It should be vibrant and alive. It should be fraught with opinion and, from time to time, disagreeable views.

It should be a place where those infected and those directly affected can come together and call each other cunts.

In short, it should be like the Real World.

MtD

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #13 on: March 30, 2011, 01:49:30 AM »
With all due respect, I believe that only poz people should be posting in the Living With HIV forum. It is not that members, who are not poz, cannot be supportive or compassionate, it is that they are not poz and therefore are not living with HIV. I had no idea the rules for this forum were not specific as to you having to be poz to post in this forum and no offense, but I have no desire to hand hold folks, who are negative, by having to explain to them things that pozzies share. I don't like the idea of another forum becoming a free for all and we gave them their own forum and this one should remain for solely poz posters.

I disagree with what you said about us negs "not living with HIV," actually. We may not be infected, but we have people in our lives that are, and that can affect us. Who says you have to explain anything? That's what rules are for. Granted, some ignore them but one can learn a lot simply by reading posts in the forum. That's why I proposed strict rules for neg posters in that forum, as well as a bit of leeway for posting in, for example, my friend's threads since that's who I am here for.

Again, whatever the admins decide, I will abide.

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2011, 01:50:19 AM »
And if those diagnosed prior to 1996 feel the need for their own precious space, then I support the existence of the coffin dodgers Long Term Survivors' Forum. Frankly it's a good place to contain people who have nothing better to do than prattle on about how nasty ddI was.

As if anyone gives a shit.

Wow. Just wow.

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2011, 01:53:43 AM »
I disagree with what you said about us negs "not living with HIV," actually. We may not be infected, but we have people in our lives that are, and that can affect us. Who says you have to explain anything? That's what rules are for. Granted, some ignore them but one can learn a lot simply by reading posts in the forum. That's why I proposed strict rules for neg posters in that forum, as well as a bit of leeway for posting in, for example, my friend's threads since that's who I am here for.

Again, whatever the admins decide, I will abide.

Forgive me, but you are NOT LIVING WITH HIV. You are living with someone who is LIVING WITH HIV. There is a huge difference and I am sorry if you cannot understand that we need a space to call our own. I'm going to log off, before I say what I really feel.

Offline SunnyFlorida

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2011, 01:57:19 AM »
Forgive me, but you are NOT LIVING WITH HIV. You are living with someone who is LIVING WITH HIV. There is a huge difference and I am sorry if you cannot understand that we need a space to call our own. I'm going to log off, before I say what I really feel.

Okay. I really don't want to step on anybody's toes nor cause any disrespect so until we get clarification from the powers that be, I'm going to stay out of this forum altogether. Obviously there are strong feelings you harbor, and I will never truly understand it, but I respect it. I really do.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2011, 01:59:49 AM »
Wow. Just wow.

Well Joe, you're not the only one who can give voice to the Unpalatable Truth. :)

MtD

Offline PrettyHeart

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #18 on: March 30, 2011, 02:03:25 AM »
tednlou2, thank you for being polite about it all. Its not the rules that bothered me, well maybe a little cause I feel I could help someone as long as I know what I'm talking about and not be rude about it. Maybe it should be for ONLY licensed medical professionals to reply to and not to just the ones that are chosen? That makes more sense to me. BUT, I found it very rude the way it was said to me and thats why I've lashed out, rudeness, which continues.

I also think its a little much about the LTS forum. We cannot understand what will come in later time for us positives?

This is all why I feel that I dont' belong here. I should not have to worry about who I talk to in what category. Even if I read the "rules" I guarantee I forgot the little things as I have enough going through my head after my diagnosis. One thing I told myself after being diagnosed is if I can help just ONE person, then a good deed well done.

I have gone through the "help" section to find out how to delete my profile and it shows me, but I don't actually have that option. Another thing misleading?

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #19 on: March 30, 2011, 02:22:39 AM »

   Pretty,

       I just wanted to welcome you to the forums, hope you stick around.  This place is a valuable resource to have right now so early after your diagnosis.    It might be best to take a breather for the night and come back tomorrow, you may see things differently as well.

     I know how rough this time can be, so I hope you are ok.

   Skeebo
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 02:26:34 AM by skeebo1969 »
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #20 on: March 30, 2011, 02:31:54 AM »
  Pretty,

       I just wanted to welcome you to the forums, hope you stick around.  This place is a valuable resource to have right now so early after your diagnosis.    It might be best to take a breather for the night and come back tomorrow, you may see things differently as well.

     I know how rough this time can be, so I hope you are ok.

   Skeebo

Heh. You're one smoooooth operator Tommy. :)

MtD

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #21 on: March 30, 2011, 02:35:22 AM »
Heh. You're one smoooooth operator Tommy. :)

MtD

LOL

Yes I admit- the song is about me. ;)
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #22 on: March 30, 2011, 02:35:54 AM »
AM doesn't allow you to delete your account in case further down the track you decide you need some help and need to get back into the forums for some information.

If you don't want to take part in the forums you just simply stop posting, that's how it's normally done.

Better to sleep on it instead of getting all stressed out, it really not a big deal, just remember don't post in the AMI forum or the LTS forum.

I've been here 8 years and I'm not allowed to post in the LTS and I respect that, AMI doesn't interest me anymore, we have enough experts to cope with that forum, and they do a damn fine job of it.

Jan
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 02:37:35 AM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #23 on: March 30, 2011, 07:38:14 AM »
While the "Living With HIV" forum IS technically open to all people living with and affected by HIV, there are certain individuals we do not allow to post there, notably panicked individuals from "Am I Infected?" querying positive members about their symptoms, when and how frequently they tested, ad nauseam. We've also asked individuals exhibiting nothing more than morbid curiosity from posting in "Living With" as well.

Perhaps the moderators -- myself included -- have been too cavalier with our language in trying to keep the "Living With HIV" forum safe. We will never ask individuals to come right out and disclose whether or not they are living with HIV -- or how long they've been infected, which makes things a little difficult when new members post in the "Long-Term Survivors" forum -- which hasn't really been a problem thus far; I hardly think that individuals like SunnyFlorida render the "Living With HIV" forum any less safe or effective.

With the volume of active members we have in these Forums, compounded by how balkanized these forums are, it's difficult to stay on top of everything. In turn, the moderators tend to act on egregious messages posted to specific Forums rather than convene regularly to discuss what we do and don't know about specific members.

I'm happy to set up a poll to query whether or not we should limit "Living With HIV" only to people are HIV positive. Just know that, even if I change the description of this Forum on the homepage, the moderators won't be ferreting out members who are negative and otherwise helping maintain harmony in these Forums.     

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #24 on: March 30, 2011, 08:40:04 AM »
While the "Living With HIV" forum IS technically open to all people living with and affected by HIV, there are certain individuals we do not allow to post there, notably panicked individuals from "Am I Infected?" querying positive members about their symptoms, when and how frequently they tested, ad nauseam. We've also asked individuals exhibiting nothing more than morbid curiosity from posting in "Living With" as well.

Perhaps the moderators -- myself included -- have been too cavalier with our language in trying to keep the "Living With HIV" forum safe. We will never ask individuals to come right out and disclose whether or not they are living with HIV -- or how long they've been infected, which makes things a little difficult when new members post in the "Long-Term Survivors" forum -- which hasn't really been a problem thus far; I hardly think that individuals like SunnyFlorida render the "Living With HIV" forum any less safe or effective.

With the volume of active members we have in these Forums, compounded by how balkanized these forums are, it's difficult to stay on top of everything. In turn, the moderators tend to act on egregious messages posted to specific Forums rather than convene regularly to discuss what we do and don't know about specific members.

I'm happy to set up a poll to query whether or not we should limit "Living With HIV" only to people are HIV positive. Just know that, even if I change the description of this Forum on the homepage, the moderators won't be ferreting out members who are negative and otherwise helping maintain harmony in these Forums.     

Hi Tim,

I think it's time there was a clear understanding about what "Living With HIV" means for the purposes of these forums and I welcome your suggestion that there should be a poll to resolve this question.

I'm now not sure that my original idea of merging Someone I Care About with Living With is the right one. I think there is scope to have a particular forum set aside for those dealing with the diagnosis of loved one.

So in that spirit I propose that the terms of the Living With forum be defined as follows:

The Living WIth HIV forum is for those infected with HIV and those directly affected by the virus, ie their loved ones.

That said, the Moderators and Administrators may restrict the access of HIV negative members to the Living With HIV forum as they see fit for the good order of the forum, broadly construed.

All members are reminded that Living With HIV can sometimes be a place of robust and vibrant exchange. Nevertheless all members are entitled to a modicum of respect; boorish and uncivil conduct which extends beyond the accepted standards of these forums will not be tolerated.

You have been warned.


. . . . or words to that effect. :)

MtD

/edit: correct teh gwammah/
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 08:42:14 AM by Matty the Damned »

Offline DanMo

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #25 on: March 30, 2011, 11:05:22 AM »
I don't understand what the big controversy is all about. Members like SunnyFlorida have not violated any posting rules. These quotes are taken from the "Welcome" thread of the respective boards:

“Living With HIV”

"Whether you are HIV positive yourself, or one of your friends or family is living with HIV, you have come to the right place for support and information. Feel free to ask questions or even just come here to vent if that's what you need. Living with HIV can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions and no matter what you're going through, there's sure to be a forum member - or twenty! - who can empathise."

“Someone I Care About Has HIV”

"The existence of this forum does not mean you can't post in the "Living With HIV" forum, or other forums, when appropriate, but it does give you a place where you can talk to other people in similar circumstances to your own."

Dan

“I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.” —Frida Kahlo

11 Feb 2011 - Preliminary positive
07 Mar 11 - Inconclusive WB
14 Mar 11 - Diagnosed positive
05 Apr 11 - 355 (21%) / VL: 186,054
27 Apr 11 - 390 (20%) / VL: 285,095
06 Jun 11 - 298 (19%) / VL:  78,380
01 Aug 11 - > STARTED ATRIPLA <
30 Aug 11 - 699 (31%) / VL: 1,938
03 Nov 11 -                / VL: 645
27 Dec 11 - 559 (35%) / VL: 1,189
11 Jan 12 -                 / VL: <20
09 Apr 12 - 686 (40%) / VL: UD
11 Jul 12 - 793 (37%) / VL: 25

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #26 on: March 30, 2011, 11:11:21 AM »
I don't understand what the big controversy is all about. Members like SunnyFlorida have not violated any posting rules. These quotes are taken from the "Welcome" thread of the respective boards:

“Living With HIV”

"Whether you are HIV positive yourself, or one of your friends or family is living with HIV, you have come to the right place for support and information. Feel free to ask questions or even just come here to vent if that's what you need. Living with HIV can be a rollercoaster ride of emotions and no matter what you're going through, there's sure to be a forum member - or twenty! - who can empathise."

“Someone I Care About Has HIV”

"The existence of this forum does not mean you can't post in the "Living With HIV" forum, or other forums, when appropriate, but it does give you a place where you can talk to other people in similar circumstances to your own."

Dan



Dan the Man has a point. Can we get a Goderator ruling on this?

MtD

Offline Teresa

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #27 on: March 30, 2011, 11:16:00 AM »
As a HIV- wife of a HIV+ hubby I am living with HIV everyday and have been for almost 5 years. I have no problem posting his lab results in the Someone I care about has HIV forum. Having said that I have posted in the living with HIV forum as well. If I feel like I can contribute to a thread about something that my hubby has been through that might help, I have posted. If there is a topic going on in Living with and I have a question about hubby I have asked.

My hubby has never learned anything about HIV on his own. I am the one that keeps track of his numbers. I am the one that asks for and makes sure I have copies of all his labs. I am the one that explains his labs to him and if theres a question about his labs I am the one that calls and talks to the Dr. I'm the one that calls once a month to get his meds refilled. I may not have HIV but I do live with it everday.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #28 on: March 30, 2011, 11:23:44 AM »
Until there is a change to the Living With HIV Forum -- and it's not at all apparent to me that this is, in fact, necessary -- folks like SunnyFlorida, Teresa, etc. are more than welcome to continue posting and sharing as they have been.

In all honesty, this is a tempest in a teapot -- this thread started because of a well-meaning, but ultimately unauthorized, individual providing feedback in the "Am I Infected?" forum. The rules couldn't be any clearer in this respect. PrettyHeart, when all is said and done, I seriously hope you'll stay with us.

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #29 on: March 30, 2011, 11:39:49 AM »
Until there is a change to the Living With HIV Forum -- and it's not at all apparent to me that this is, in fact, necessary -- folks like SunnyFlorida, Teresa, etc. are more than welcome to continue posting and sharing as they have been.

In all honesty, this is a tempest in a teapot -- this thread started because of a well-meaning, but ultimately unauthorized, individual providing feedback in the "Am I Infected?" forum. The rules couldn't be any clearer in this respect. PrettyHeart, when all is said and done, I seriously hope you'll stay with us.

So why have the "Someone" forum -- that's the confusion here.  Let me put it this way, if you go to a real life support group as an HIV-positive person you make the presumption that you're in a room of HIV-positive people.  When/if you were to suddenly find out that someone is not HIV-positive it's jarring for most people, not to mention people new to the disease take comfort in a "safety zone" where they aren't worried about unnecessary disclosure issues be those real or imagined.  Certainly in a real life support group if there were to be an exception the entire group would need to be comfortable with it instead of a moderator simply forcing the issue on the group.

Anyway, I just find it rather odd in that light.

Also, it's bad enough getting unsolicited "sexy" private messages from other poz members, but when there's flirting like that from a non-poz member it's easy to see how there may be latent, unconscious bug chasing neurotic tendencies.  Dunno, there's just a potential for weirdness.  Personally I have a thick skin and can deal with it, but making the assumption that others can and dismissing it as a "tempest in a teapot" is a little arrogant.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #30 on: March 30, 2011, 12:36:45 PM »
My hubby has never learned anything about HIV on his own. I am the one that keeps track of his numbers. I am the one that asks for and makes sure I have copies of all his labs. I am the one that explains his labs to him and if theres a question about his labs I am the one that calls and talks to the Dr. I'm the one that calls once a month to get his meds refilled. I may not have HIV but I do live with it everday.

Good grief, Teresa.  It's hard for me to imagine being that tolerant of someone so apathetic and lazy about his own well-being.  You certainly have more patience than I would in such a circumstance.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #31 on: March 30, 2011, 12:38:31 PM »
I should have been clearer in my earlier post. My concern is not that everyone must be poz to post in the Living forum, just that the posts are relevant to the forum. This post was originally made in the Living forum and was rightly moved to Off Topic, however, other confusing posts remain. A perfect example is the post regarding a job seeker and his interview. As enjoyable as the post is, why is it in the Living forum? I am not seeking to demean either the post or the poster, as I know that the ultimate decision on where a post belongs to the moderators. However, I do believe that having somewhat conflicting posts within the same forum, could be contributing to the problems of folks mistakenly posting in the wrong forums.

If I was someone newly infected, with all the charged emotions that are involved and I came here and scanned the forums, I would see certain posts that seemed out of place, given the forum. For me, the issue is not that negative folks post in the Living forum, because to be honest, I'm not always sure who is neg or pos, because I just don't care. As long as their intent is to contribute and be supportive, well, what's not to like? I can however, understand how new members, coming into a site with multiple forums can become confused, because with most sites, they are general acceptable guidelines site wide and not the subset of guidelines that we have, by our own choosing.

Maybe we should address our different guidelines, or the imperative need to read the rules for each and every forum in a more prominent place on the site. We all remember what it was like to become poz and I hope we can find a way, to make this site more welcoming to those in the greatest need.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #32 on: March 30, 2011, 12:42:59 PM »
I should have been clearer in my earlier post. My concern is not that everyone must be poz to post in the Living forum, just that the posts are relevant to the forum. This post was originally made in the Living forum and was rightly moved to Off Topic, however, other confusing posts remain. A perfect example is the post regarding a job seeker and his interview. As enjoyable as the post is, why is it in the Living forum? I am not seeking to demean either the post or the poster, as I know that the ultimate decision on where a post belongs to the moderators. However, I do believe that having somewhat conflicting posts within the same forum, could be contributing to the problems of folks mistakenly posting in the wrong forums.

Yeah? You seemed pretty clear to me Joe:


With all due respect, I believe that only poz people should be posting in the Living With HIV forum. It is not that members, who are not poz, cannot be supportive or compassionate, it is that they are not poz and therefore are not living with HIV. I had no idea the rules for this forum were not specific as to you having to be poz to post in this forum and no offense, but I have no desire to hand hold folks, who are negative, by having to explain to them things that pozzies share. I don't like the idea of another forum becoming a free for all and we gave them their own forum and this one should remain for solely poz posters.

MtD

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #33 on: March 30, 2011, 12:54:08 PM »
Yeah? You seemed pretty clear to me Joe:

MtD

I know what I said earlier and I am no longer so sure that I totally agree with what I said before. Teresa is a perfect example of someone who has posted in the Living forum and always contributes something meaningful and she just happens to be negative. Sometimes I write before I really think about something and in this case, it no longer is simply black and white to me. I am just glad that I don't have to make the rules, let alone enforce them.

Oh, one last thing: Asshole!  ;D

modified to change Bitch to Asshole, with my apologies to the ladies.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 12:59:46 PM by killfoile »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #34 on: March 30, 2011, 01:09:43 PM »
I know what I said earlier and I am no longer so sure that I totally agree with what I said before. Teresa is a perfect example of someone who has posted in the Living forum and always contributes something meaningful and she just happens to be negative. Sometimes I write before I really think about something and in this case, it no longer is simply black and white to me. I am just glad that I don't have to make the rules, let alone enforce them.

Oh, one last thing: Bitch!  ;D

It's ok babe. I never think before I post.  ;)

I'm sorry if I'm coming off like a cow, but there has to be a bit of sparkle around here. :)

There was a time when LW was the frontier, a place where challenging ideas could be put forward and where we couldn't always be safe.

Having a forum where all our people, infected and affected can rub against one another. A space where there's at least a dash of elan.

We can't just exist in brain dead echo chambers. We need a wild place and if Living with HIV isn't wild, well fuck it, I don't know what is.

When I joined these forums eleventy squillion years ago the first thread I saw was one started by you. It was about everyone's favourite meat-puppet Terry Schiavo and you were holding court in the most fabulous way.

Open to all comers, a free and effervescent debate -- it seems heady stuff by today's standards.

So let's not get bogged down in exchanges about who can't post.

For the record I know I'm normally the first one to whine about people posting in the wrong place. Tonight I've learned that the rules that we all ignore allow all folk of good will to participate.

So I'm sorry for pointing the bone at you. I'm just as bad. :-*

MtD

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #35 on: March 30, 2011, 01:17:04 PM »
Nobody cares about the Greener Pastures of your poz youth, Matty... move along
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #36 on: March 30, 2011, 01:21:30 PM »
Nobody cares about the Greener Pastures of your poz youth, Matty... move along

But what about the shining fields of your great big bald head? I believe NASA is investigating shining a laser off that fucker.

MtD

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #37 on: March 30, 2011, 01:37:12 PM »
Personally I don't mind HIV-people participating in "Living With HIV". HIV-  people are already reading the posts and may have something valuable to say on a particular topic. It would be helpful if HIV- participants would identify as such. Should someone make an inappropriate comment I'm confident our more senior members will  address the offending post with with civility, tact and grace that these forums are know for.

On a tangential topic, remember that anyone can read these forums, create a false identity, Google our screennames, link our discussions to other websites, etc. Online forums are not like offline support groups-- everything here is recorded and broadcast to the world and you often don't really know who you are communicating with. Forum categories may help organize discussions but they don't create a safer environment.


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #38 on: March 30, 2011, 01:40:51 PM »
What is the, "Someone I care about has HIV" forum about? I thought it was started to separate the non-positive people from the Living With so they could exchange their thoughts with people that are in the same predicament? Now I'm getting confused.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #39 on: March 30, 2011, 01:44:16 PM »
Now I'm getting confused.

Just now, dear?   :P
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #40 on: March 30, 2011, 01:44:27 PM »
My memory might be off a bit, but we've had negative members here before who participated in the forums.    I know one of them went to one small gathering in Tennessee I believe, he was an older guy named Mike.  He was the one they took pictures of humping the sheep.  There was also a negative man and woman who met here and became a couple, but I can't remember their names.  I'm sure some here remember HIVworker as well.

And besides (as already mentioned), the forums are not visually exclusive to members only.  Positive or not, they can see our posts anyways.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #41 on: March 30, 2011, 03:36:26 PM »
What is the, "Someone I care about has HIV" forum about? I thought it was started to separate the non-positive people from the Living With so they could exchange their thoughts with people that are in the same predicament? Now I'm getting confused.

Zackly

It doesn't bother me if Negs participate in LW, what bothers me is the lack of clarity about such and the overlapping of forums of family and friends of pozzies.  The title itself "Living with HIV", to me, means those who are Poz (which would exclude negs), however the posting rules state "family and friends of...". .It's confusing.

Oh and then we have another Forum titled "Someone I care About.." which by definition it seems would be Family and Friends of,which are the same people who are allowed to post in LW.

IMHO, either we tighten the rules and kick the neggies out of "Living with.." and send them over to "Someone i care About..". OR we do away with "Someone I Care about.." and let everyone post in "Living with..."

But who am I.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #42 on: March 30, 2011, 03:41:56 PM »
But who am I.

-Will


You answered your own question lol
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline PrettyHeart

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #43 on: March 30, 2011, 04:13:46 PM »
Yea so all this confusion is just too much for me! I guess I'm only allowed to post in "Living with HIV" and I suppose in "positive women" as I am a female. Should I stay out of "I just tested poz" since its been what, 3 months since I was diagnosed? I think its a little crazy that I should have to worry about "OMG did I put that in the right place?" or "Oh damn am I allowed to talk to that person?" when I want or better yet, when I NEED to talk to someone, ask questions, talk with someone that knows the road I will face later on, especially when I need meds, etc. I have enough on my plate thank you.

And to think that I have told my children, the only ones that I have disclosed to, to come here if they ever have any questions or concerns about ME. Scratch that, they won't come here. I won't have them coming here and be rudely talked to if they screw up and put their post somewhere where it does not belong! Especially by someone that had NO RIGHT to tell me to stay out of anywhere. That should have been left up to the "chosen ones".

Matt - You have something sarcastic to say to just about everyone here. You even put down long term survivors. Wow won't you be one someday? you hope? Thank God you are not a "chosen one". If you were the first person that I talked to after being diagnosed, with all your smart ass comments, I'm sure suicide would have crossed my mind! You are rude, you are an asshole!

So worrying about where I post on a forum is too much! I will get my answers some place where it will be more compassionate and a little more lifting.


Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #44 on: March 30, 2011, 04:17:35 PM »
Yea so all this confusion is just too much for me! I guess I'm only allowed to post in "Living with HIV" and I suppose in "positive women" as I am a female. Should I stay out of "I just tested poz" since its been what, 3 months since I was diagnosed? I think its a little crazy that I should have to worry about "OMG did I put that in the right place?" or "Oh damn am I allowed to talk to that person?" when I want or better yet, when I NEED to talk to someone, ask questions, talk with someone that knows the road I will face later on, especially when I need meds, etc. I have enough on my plate thank you.

And to think that I have told my children, the only ones that I have disclosed to, to come here if they ever have any questions or concerns about ME. Scratch that, they won't come here. I won't have them coming here and be rudely talked to if they screw up and put their post somewhere where it does not belong! Especially by someone that had NO RIGHT to tell me to stay out of anywhere. That should have been left up to the "chosen ones".

Matt - You have something sarcastic to say to just about everyone here. You even put down long term survivors. Wow won't you be one someday? you hope? Thank God you are not a "chosen one". If you were the first person that I talked to after being diagnosed, with all your smart ass comments, I'm sure suicide would have crossed my mind! You are rude, you are an asshole!

So worrying about where I post on a forum is too much! I will get my answers some place where it will be more compassionate and a little more lifting.





And YOU are officially reported for this post.

PS:  Matty IS one of the "chosen".
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #45 on: March 30, 2011, 04:21:03 PM »
Actually if you took the time to read his posts Matty was supporting you, albeit with a bit of wit and whimsy. I thought coffin dodger was hilarious.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #46 on: March 30, 2011, 04:25:39 PM »
Petty Heart,

You really are making an awful lot of carry on considering it all boils down to your own mistake.  I even saw you eyeballing the AMI welcome thread earlier, and yet here you are hours later still making all this ruckus.

Good grief.  If you simply take the time to read the welcome threads for each section - and it only takes a moment or two to do do - you'll be able to know how to go about posting without much of a hitch.

Somehow all of the rest of us have managed to navigate it all this time.  I figure you could, too.

At least I'm willing to extend that little bit of faith to you.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline PrettyHeart

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #47 on: March 30, 2011, 04:26:35 PM »
oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people????

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #48 on: March 30, 2011, 04:30:09 PM »
oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people????

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

Go chillout and take a breather, really.  I think you are a bit sensitive right now, and ALL of us have been in your shoes so we certainly understand.   With kids, life, and now this, geesh sister it must seem like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline drewm

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #49 on: March 30, 2011, 04:31:50 PM »
Pretty, please stay. I had a very ugly experience when I first stumbled across this website but wouldn't leave now for anything. It takes time to get a better understanding of the personalities behind some of these snarky posts but all in all, this is a pretty good place to be.

MTd "chosen one"??? PUHLEASE!!!! ROFLMFAO
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline PrettyHeart

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #50 on: March 30, 2011, 04:34:53 PM »
FYI, I was in AMI because I was reading the "rules"..thank you

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #51 on: March 30, 2011, 04:37:14 PM »
oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people????

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

As has already been explained to you, profiles are not deleted.  But then you probably didn't read that, either.

Why the need for all the fanfare?  If you can't stand it here, just scram already.

But I do believe it would be better for you if you'd just do as advised and chill.

PS:  I know why you were there (reading the rules).  If you take the time to read the rules for "I Just Tested Poz", you'd also see the senselessness in the snarky comment you made about that forum as well.

Relax, lady.  Breathe already. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #52 on: March 30, 2011, 04:37:46 PM »
oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people????

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

As a LTS (and I don't speak for all LTS) the first thing you need to dodge the coffin is a sense of humor.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #53 on: March 30, 2011, 04:37:52 PM »
Yea so all this confusion is just too much for me! I guess I'm only allowed to post in "Living with HIV" and I suppose in "positive women" as I am a female. Should I stay out of "I just tested poz" since its been what, 3 months since I was diagnosed? I think its a little crazy that I should have to worry about "OMG did I put that in the right place?" or "Oh damn am I allowed to talk to that person?" when I want or better yet, when I NEED to talk to someone, ask questions, talk with someone that knows the road I will face later on, especially when I need meds, etc. I have enough on my plate thank you.

And to think that I have told my children, the only ones that I have disclosed to, to come here if they ever have any questions or concerns about ME. Scratch that, they won't come here. I won't have them coming here and be rudely talked to if they screw up and put their post somewhere where it does not belong! Especially by someone that had NO RIGHT to tell me to stay out of anywhere. That should have been left up to the "chosen ones".

Matt - You have something sarcastic to say to just about everyone here. You even put down long term survivors. Wow won't you be one someday? you hope? Thank God you are not a "chosen one". If you were the first person that I talked to after being diagnosed, with all your smart ass comments, I'm sure suicide would have crossed my mind! You are rude, you are an asshole!

So worrying about where I post on a forum is too much! I will get my answers some place where it will be more compassionate and a little more lifting.



Pretty, I am sorry that you find yourself so unhappy with the site and the members in such a short time. Perhaps you will change your mind about hanging around here. There is real support and useful information to be had.

However, I will also tell you that calling someone an a*****e or any other names is absolutely unacceptable here. If you feel someone has spoken out of turn or improperly to you all you have to do is to report it to the Moderators and we will address the issue. But that namecalling or flaming must not happen again.

Although many others have found this to be a useful and welcoming site, perhaps for whatever reasons it's just not for you. If you decide not to continue here I will just wish you well in finding the support and help that you need.
Andy Velez

Online Jeff G

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #54 on: March 30, 2011, 04:39:02 PM »
oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people????

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

Matty was only doing his job and doing it like Matty . I try and see things this way , if you let people be who they are maybe just maybe they will let you be yourself too .

Matty will be there with his honest opinion if you ever need it and that's a lot to offfer on any internet forum .  

Offline drewm

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #55 on: March 30, 2011, 04:40:37 PM »
Profiles are not deleted. Kinda like HIV, once you have it...you can't get rid of it, YET!!!! Chill, breathe, relax a minute. Walk away and come back. It's really not worth the stress and you are in a pissing match you cannot win.

FYI, I posted in both the Am I and LTS forums without reading the stickies like I should have. Yes, I immediately took offense the first time and then was like DUH, guess I should have read it. We all make mistakes but what is here is very, very human. Painful, funny, maddening, informative, stupid and sometimes even enjoyable! Stick around...
« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 04:53:12 PM by drewm »
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #56 on: March 30, 2011, 04:41:22 PM »
damn..peace out...delete me please!!

I was not even going to post in this thread but I would hate to see you split because of taking some responses the wrong way.  We are all real folks here and at times messages may be curt.  Thats life!  

Our virtual family here does offer support, understanding, and compassion.  We kid around with each other and interject humor from time to time as well.  Please dont turn your back on the wealth of experience that exists here because you got your feelings hurt.  Plain and simple, you are welcome here and I for one didn't look when I posted twice in a forum where I should not have.  No sweat, it was a very small 'oops' compared to things that really matter in life.

I would love to hear more from you and hope you reconsider.  

« Last Edit: March 30, 2011, 04:47:34 PM by hope_for_a_cure »

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #57 on: March 30, 2011, 04:55:37 PM »
Pretty, I am going to ask you to take a break from here for a couple of days and then please come back. I have been with these forums since 2002 and you will never find a finer group of people, bar none. We bitch and we moan, because we accept each other, warts and all. We are one huge extended family and sometimes families fight, that just goes with the territory. Being a family also means these folks will have your back, no matter what challenges you may face. They are not fair weather friends, they are here for the long haul and they are invested in our shared lives and therein lies the true power of these forums.

While not everyone posts in a fashion that we may prefer, make no mistake that the folks here do really care, if only you will give us the opportunity to show you. Yes your feelings were hurt, however that was unintentional and you did violate a rule of the forum. My hope is that can see past the abrasive language and gallows humor and discover the world of support that awaits you here. If you choose to stay, I guarantee that you will never be sorry.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #58 on: March 30, 2011, 04:57:50 PM »
Pretty, I'm sorry you have found this site to be an unhappy place for you so far. It's not without its challenging aspects, but if you can get past that I think you would find some informative and helpful support.

I also have to tell you that if you get mad at someone whom you feel has spoken inappropriately to you, you cannot respond by calling them names as you have with Matty. You need to report it to the Moderators and let us handle the problem.

We don't delete profiles. If you finally decide you don't want to participate on the site, just stop posting. We do not delete profiles because that would make nonsense of any thread in which you have posted.

However, I do hope you will take some time to reconsider and see if perhaps there is some good you can find here. If you decide not to do that I will just wish you well in finding elsewhere the support and information which you want.
Andy Velez

Offline BT65

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #59 on: March 30, 2011, 05:40:37 PM »
As a LTS (and I don't speak for all LTS) the first thing you need to dodge the coffin is a sense of humor.

True this.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #60 on: March 30, 2011, 06:41:49 PM »
PrettyHeart

  Sorry that you're feeling like you need to leave, over all of this. However, I do not understand why you are so upset about having to follow The Rules. The reality is that you need to follow The Rules regardless of your HIV status, be they here on the forums or elsewhere in the world. Period.

   This is especially true when you are HIV positive. After all,The Rules for survival are pretty strict, what with the meds, doctors visits, tests, bloodwork, etc. If you find that following a few simple rules ona website difficult, then this virus that you, as well as the rest of us have, will make short work of you, From here on out, The Rules are what are going to keep you alive, it's best not to lose sight of that, now or ever.

   Yes there are rude people here, as there are in the rest of the world. You don't drop out of life just because you got your feelings hurt, do you? Don't do it here either. You'll make your friendships, here, learn new things, and find ways of coping with the fistful of shit life has doled out to you. You can read any Forum you like, and post in most of them as well. Just remember to follow The Rules.... ;)


   And yes, Auntie Doxie is right, the first thing you need to dodge the coffin is a sense of humor....


CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #61 on: March 31, 2011, 01:26:39 AM »
Can someone help me with this?  I've searched for the thread, but cannot find it.  About a month ago or so, someone poz for about 3 months posted in Living.  They were told since they were newly poz, they should post in I just tested poz.  This causes so much confusion.  I felt that person should definitely be able to post in Living.  It just seemed so unnecessary to basically say, "you're not poz long enough yet."  

I believe a partner, sibling, or parent should be able to post in Living.  Let's throw in best friend, too.  I could see where there could be issues with someone who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone poz who started posting there.  I don't want to see a total ban.  I think the moderators could deal with someone who was just coming to Living and not really adding anything or if they were causing trouble.  When I think about my partner, he may not have the virus, but he is living with HIV.  He is affected by everything HIV does.  He has been affected by having to take leave from work and his duties as a volunteer firefighter.  Comforting me when I don't feel good physically or mentally, discussions on when is best to start meds and whether I have a good doc, safe sex, and disclosure issues.  He has to lie, because I'm not ready to disclose.  If I should get sick, I would hope he could come and ask for advice, if he needed it.  From what other's have said, Someone I care about is full of tumbleweeds.  If he posted there, I'm not sure anyone would see it--especially if he needed urgent advice or to vent.  I've seen a marked difference in his mental well-being, so HIV has had almost as big an impact on him as it has me--even if I sometimes get angry and tell him he doesn't have HIV or knows what it feels like, when he gets frustrated with me for not feeling like doing stuff around the house.  

MODIFIED:

Nevermind.  I found the post.  The person just found out they had AIDS and it was moved to "I Just Tested Poz".  I mean, they did just test poz technically.  I just thought it was unnecessary to move it there.  But, I'm often wrong.  By the way, what's up with the new layout in this post?  It says newforums.  I pray this isn't the new look that is coming, because it is hard to read with all the dark blue.

http://newforums.poz.com/index.php?topic=36806.0      

  
« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 01:46:48 AM by tednlou2 »

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #62 on: March 31, 2011, 01:42:45 AM »
Can someone help me with this?  I've searched for the thread, but cannot find it.  About a month ago or so, someone poz for about 3 months posted in Living.  They were told since they were newly poz, they should post in I just tested poz.  This causes so much confusion.  I felt that person should definitely be able to post in Living.  It just seemed so unnecessary to basically say, "you're not poz long enough yet." 

I find it hard to believe anyone was told that -- that's simply never been the case here and you've been on the board long enough to know that.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #63 on: March 31, 2011, 02:11:44 AM »
I find it hard to believe anyone was told that -- that's simply never been the case here and you've been on the board long enough to know that.

You must have posted this as I was posting my modification.  I found the post.  The person was just dx'd with AIDS, so I had the part about being dx'd for 3 months wrong.  Although, if the person had AIDS, they had been living with HIV for some time.  I said that technically they did fit the "I just tested Poz" criteria.  But, still found it unnecessary to move it.  But, it seems to person got good advice anyway.

Modified:

I shouldn't have used quotations to describe what I felt it sounded like, because it appeared to make it look like a direct quote.  It was not a direct quote. 
« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 02:24:21 AM by tednlou2 »

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #64 on: March 31, 2011, 02:31:40 AM »
wat
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #65 on: March 31, 2011, 06:57:10 AM »
Maybe the AIDSmeds Uniformity Act will come out soon.  I dont even read the LTS, or Women's forums posts unless its an accidental click on a link at the bottom of the main page.  Perhaps there is information there that would be enlightening but personally I figure its best to just stay out.  I get the HIV related information/support I need from members (some LTS folks included) posting in 'Living With'. 

Too bad user ids dont come with data level entitlement.  Permissions to view/post would be attached to the user id keeping unauthorized viewing and posting in check.  That would free up some time for the moderators too.  In the meantime, I will play by the rules... no biggie for me.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #66 on: March 31, 2011, 02:54:04 PM »
  I dont even read the LTS,

I peruse Shady Acres occasionally, there's a wealth of info there.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #67 on: March 31, 2011, 03:36:41 PM »
I peruse Shady Acres occasionally, there's a wealth of info there.

-Will

Good point Will..  Look but dont touch!  I will give that a try.

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #68 on: March 31, 2011, 06:00:51 PM »
To last, you have to have a sense of humor.   ;D

I LOVE the coffin dodgers...we could start a bowling team.   Or maybe "the Un-embalmed"...

Love You Matty !   :-*

 ;D
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Online Joe K

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #69 on: March 31, 2011, 06:05:52 PM »
I LOVE the coffin dodgers...we could start a bowling team.   Or maybe "the Un-embalmed"...

Maybe we should change our Cabal name to the Coffin Dodgers Cabal, but the Un-Embalmed Cabal also has a nice ring to it.

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #70 on: March 31, 2011, 06:22:48 PM »
Maybe we should change our Cabal name to the Coffin Dodgers Cabal, but the Un-Embalmed Cabal also has a nice ring to it.

Or Corpse Draggers..... ;)

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #71 on: March 31, 2011, 06:27:34 PM »
Or Corpse Draggers..... ;)

CaptCarl

mortician muffin

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #72 on: March 31, 2011, 06:32:19 PM »
mortician muffin

BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAA!
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #73 on: March 31, 2011, 09:35:40 PM »

I like the return of the living dead myself, I've been sick so many times form aids, I just cannot die anymore when I'm already DEAD  :D :D :D
« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 09:37:45 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Bucko

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #74 on: April 05, 2011, 03:53:26 PM »
oh well damn if he is a "chosen one" without compassion, hell no I dont' need to be here!! I dont' need someone like that "helping" me through my time. I didn't find anything about coffin dodger a bit funny. I'm sure those people have fought and fought to still be here today...what is wrong with you people????

damn..peace out...delete me please!!

MtD needs no defense from me, though he knows I support him unconditionally. There's a very good reason for that.

I joined AM in 2005, shortly after I ended a toxic, nearly 10 year relationship. Though I was infected in 1984 and went through the mill of living with HIV, from ACT-UP to peer counselor to group member (and occasional facilitator), I was guilt-obsessed and, in so many ways broken. I came here on the pretext of looking for info, but stayed because of the unique sense of community found here. There were many, many wonderful posters, but I found myself most drawn to the the wisdom and caustic humor displayed by Matty, and within weeks we were thick as thieves; we even started a blog together which, for a few years, caused quite a stir here and elsewhere.

To the extent that I function and thrive at all, I owe it to his undying devotion and, yes, compassion. I am certain that without him I'd have not survived  2006, when suicide really seemed my only alternative. I owe him my life.

The Balkanization of AM is, decidedly, a mixed blessing. I remember when the Women’s Forum was created as a “safe place”. Though I never saw AM in general as anything other than “safe” (to the extent that any open forum on the internet is “safe”), I realized that, not being a woman, I was in no position to decide whether or not having a special forum dedicated to their issues was “warranted”: attempting to do so would be unspeakably arrogant.

I have created exactly one thread in LTS (that I can remember) which related specifically to how HIV causes one’s body to age prematurely. I posted it there because I really didn’t want to have to hand-hold every n00b looking for some qualifier that might exclude him/her from the reality of living 27 years with the virus by the terms I do so, with whatever degree of success I achieve.

Last I checked, I was still entitled to post in AII, though I choose not to. I haven’t even opened that forum on my browser is well over a year. Aside from the rejection drama of feeling excluded, I really don’t get the beef about requiring authorization to participate there. It’s a thankless, relentless job with much responsibility and few (if any) rewards. Once you’ve begun counseling someone in one of those threads, you’re morally obliged to continue through the end: it’s not for the casual poster nor for the faint of heart or those easily irritated. It’s a serious commitment.

The further subdivisions into Newly Infected and Someone I Know make little sense to me, but they were created after my major participation here waned, so the rationale behind their having been started remains unclear to me. Undoubtedly they were started for a good reason at the time, and the powers that be must still find them useful or else they’d have been folded back into Living With by now. 

Two last observations: what, exactly, do PMs have to do with the OP? And, in general, swan dives really suck, especially when the pool's empty. 
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #75 on: April 05, 2011, 04:44:41 PM »



   Matty The Ledge Whisperer.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Bucko

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #76 on: April 05, 2011, 07:51:49 PM »


   Matty The Ledge Whisperer.

Sing the song, my dear (though horribly neglected) friend. Seems that once upon a time I performed a similar function for at least one other member here as well.

Caustic wit and gallows humor be damned as they are a required survival skill learned on the fly: survival ain't for wimps or pansies. Get your collective wits or just let go: the choice is entirely yours (generically, not specifically the Skeeb's or anyone else). I learned it as have so many others. And not all the cinematic bathos need be rent in public and at large: IM exists for a good reason, Skype is merely an advance on the concept (though the headsets are cumbersome and sweaty).

Relationships made here are not subject to random fluxes in moods or medications. We can pick up at most any point and, as long as no grave injustice has been perpetrated, be continued as if no intervening clockwork has occurred. We may grow and evolve, but the core of what makes us us changes very little. 

Anyone who finds MtD anything but an uplifting presence in his/her life is in serious need of a humor transplant. I'd offer myself as a donor, but have precious little to spare.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #77 on: April 05, 2011, 08:32:54 PM »
Sing the song, my dear (though horribly neglected) friend. Seems that once upon a time I performed a similar function for at least one other member here as well.

And here I thought you forgot me--you, in an art studio on Las Olas, and me staring at a wall in despair.  I remember it all to well.   Matty also helped me from the ledge at the time, hence my comment “The Ledge Whisperer”.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Bucko

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #78 on: April 06, 2011, 02:53:30 AM »
I forget nothing, though it's been years sine I held a position as responsible as clerk at an art gallery.

Unconditional love extends even toward the loneliest and most sad of us all, Tom.

On n'oublie rien de rien, mon ami.

Link added, claro, los ninos.   
« Last Edit: April 06, 2011, 02:57:07 AM by Bucko »
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline OneTampa

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #79 on: April 06, 2011, 09:59:58 PM »
"Hello Fellas. Excuse me young man. Yes, you. Can you do me a favor and reach the top shelf and hand me a pack of Quick Quips and Matching Clever Snaps?  I 'm not as agile as I used to be. Thanks so much."

:D
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline drewm

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #80 on: April 06, 2011, 10:36:25 PM »
I do have some strange fascination with MtD and some of it is sexual. I fantasize about him from time to time as I browse his clever commentary and occasional innuendo.
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #81 on: April 06, 2011, 11:03:38 PM »
I do have some strange fascination with MtD and some of it is sexual. I fantasize about him from time to time as I browse his clever commentary and occasional innuendo.

Girl, and you don't even know what a handsome fucker he is --or heard his voice and that lovely accent.   If ya did I bet your panties would be truly wet.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline zach

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #82 on: April 07, 2011, 12:23:06 AM »
pretty, i don't read the "am i" forums, they just piss me off

i read once, and responded in anger to a poster who was clearly homophobic and dealing with their own prejudices about aids

i got my fanny spanked, i cried for a minute about the injustice of it all, after i got over my hurt feelings i realized there was still alot of value to be had here

hope to see you around
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Offline littleprince

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #83 on: April 07, 2011, 04:33:15 AM »
I think we've all been put straight after doing something we shouldn't have, even if by accident. I've been told off by Ann for posting in the wrong spot... but I think I kinda enjoyed it  :D

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #84 on: April 07, 2011, 03:21:25 PM »
I do have some strange fascination with MtD and some of it is sexual. I fantasize about him from time to time as I browse his clever commentary and occasional innuendo.

I've been down to Oz and had the pleasure of meeting Matty. He's everything you think and more. BTW: he has really big hands.....
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #85 on: April 08, 2011, 10:24:47 AM »
BTW: he has really big hands.....

All the better to fist you with, my pretty! ;D
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #86 on: April 08, 2011, 10:31:29 AM »
I've been down to Oz and had the pleasure of meeting Matty. He's everything you think and more. BTW: he has really big hands.....

Hey what's wrong with my hands DAMIT!  :D  :D :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline drewm

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #87 on: April 08, 2011, 10:43:58 AM »
Did someone say "fisting"? MMMMMMMMMMM :P

Ann spanked me once also...it wasn't so bad. (I know, I know, must EVERYTHING be sexual?) ROFLMAO
« Last Edit: April 08, 2011, 10:45:48 AM by drewm »
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #88 on: April 08, 2011, 10:59:33 AM »
Did someone say "fisting"? MMMMMMMMMMM :P

Ann spanked me once also...it wasn't so bad. (I know, I know, must EVERYTHING be sexual?) ROFLMAO

There more to dear ole Ann than you might think  ;) don't worry were glad your here  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #89 on: April 08, 2011, 12:30:59 PM »

Ann spanked me once also...it wasn't so bad.

Son, your cheeks weren't even red. Just wait 'til I really get going!
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Bucko

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #90 on: April 10, 2011, 07:11:26 AM »
No offense directed at any of the above posters, but as Paddle Master of the local skeezy leather dive in FtL, and also as someone who flags red left nightly at work, any truly serious inquiries can be forwarded via PM for further consideration.

I'm not called Bucko The Depraved for fucking nothing, lovelies  ;D

Brent
(who earns an odd kinda living living his dream)

ETA: Medium/large hands here, respectable especially on my lean, short frame (5'6, 150 lbs).
« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 07:14:25 AM by Bucko »
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

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Offline woodshere

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #91 on: April 10, 2011, 07:55:45 AM »
No offense directed at any of the above posters, but as Paddle Master of the local skeezy leather dive in FtL,

Sounds like my kind of place, what's the address, I am looking for somewhere for a little getaway!!!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #92 on: April 10, 2011, 09:12:42 AM »
Sounds like my kind of place, what's the address, I am looking for somewhere for a little getaway!!!

Hey Woody, I've got big hands, and I love to spank bad boys on the cheeks ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #93 on: April 10, 2011, 09:16:08 AM »
Hey Woody, I've got big hands, and I love to spank bad boys on the cheeks ;D

I bet thats not all you like to do with bad boys.... 

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #94 on: April 10, 2011, 09:18:21 AM »
I bet thats not all you like to do with bad boys.... 
Don't ask & don't tell  ;D aint no bodies busness if I do  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #95 on: April 10, 2011, 09:19:38 AM »
This thread has now become about some rather public messages.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #96 on: April 10, 2011, 09:22:42 AM »
This thread has now become about some rather public messages.

Funny how that happens.  Its a guy thing for the most part but I bet many women think the same way too 'deep down inside'.  The visual of Dennis spanking Woodsy is making my sap rise this morning.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #97 on: April 10, 2011, 09:31:57 AM »
Its a guy thing for the most part but I bet many women think the same way too 'deep down inside'. 

You need to reread Ann's posts.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #98 on: April 10, 2011, 09:40:16 AM »
You need to reread Ann's posts.

I hear ya.  Its an equal opp when it comes to being horny.  For some reason this morning has me feeling like a young man in the springtime.  Maybe I should tab over to Xtube and well...... 

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #99 on: April 10, 2011, 10:00:24 AM »
You need to reread Ann's posts.

Or the quote in my signature line:

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

We get the derogatory label pinned on us, whereas where men are concerned, it's considered "average".

I'm a Scorpio. We were born to shag, whether male or female. ;)
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #100 on: April 10, 2011, 10:16:07 AM »
Or the quote in my signature line:

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

We get the derogatory label pinned on us, whereas where men are concerned, it's considered "average".

I'm a Scorpio. We were born to shag, whether male or female. ;)

Ann, your RIGHT, Bob & I are both Scorpio's most people think were a bit too much  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #101 on: April 10, 2011, 11:23:11 AM »
We get the derogatory label pinned on us, whereas where men are concerned, it's considered "average".

   Double Standards are a wonderful thing, no? I used to argue wit hmy ex about his all the time. To him, any woman who enjoyed sex was automatically a slut. But for him to sleep with well over 2500 guys, well that was just what guys do, nothing wrong with it at all.
There's a reason the man is my "ex". More than one actually.

I'm a Scorpio. We were born to shag, whether male or female. ;)

No shit! Every Scorpio I have ever known is eternally horny :o

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline woodshere

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #102 on: April 10, 2011, 12:04:47 PM »
'deep down inside'. 

I have always thought that is when it is the best!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #103 on: April 10, 2011, 02:05:11 PM »


No shit! Every Scorpio I have ever known is eternally horny :o



I'm a Scorpio and I am totally frigid.  The mere thought of sex is repulsive to me  ;D
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #104 on: April 10, 2011, 02:14:51 PM »
I'm a Scorpio and I am totally frigid.  The mere thought of sex is repulsive to me  ;D

I will be at confession first thing in the morning.  My burning desires have caused me to cross over that threshold and I feel nothing but remorse.  Mass later on today and I think if I put a few 20s in the collection plate that may buy me some forgiveness.  The last time I was there they threw me out when I told the hottie swinging that incense thurible  "I love your dress but your purse is on fire".  He did NOT see the humor in that.  

« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 02:17:59 PM by hope_for_a_cure »

Offline Bucko

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #105 on: April 11, 2011, 04:28:39 AM »
Did I mention that I'm a double Aquarius with Scorpio ascendant?  I love everybody and fuck 'em all harder than most (Leos naturally excluded).
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #106 on: April 11, 2011, 05:38:23 AM »
No shit! Every Scorpio I have ever known is eternally horny :o

Guilty as charged! I guess I'm just a slut. ;D

The mere thought of sex is repulsive to me  ;D

Rev, I think someone hijacked your account!

The last time I was there they threw me out when I told the hottie swinging that incense thurible  "I love your dress but your purse is on fire".

Dagnabbit, coffee all over my keyboard and screen yet again. When will I ever learn to swallow? :o

Before reading, that is. Get your minds out of the gutter!
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #107 on: April 11, 2011, 09:57:33 AM »
Well I can say THIS, both Bob & I as the 2 Scorpio's we are, won't go there with another man or a woman (sexually) unless they want to go there, if not, we don't, we still have have each other to abuse and knock around form time to time most of the time we both settle for some hard-core masturbation along w/ a lotta verbal abuse, hey whatever works for you is always a good thing  ;D
« Last Edit: April 11, 2011, 10:05:27 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #108 on: April 11, 2011, 01:11:10 PM »
(Leos naturally excluded).

I'm deeply wounded.......
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #109 on: April 11, 2011, 05:31:35 PM »
I'm deeply wounded.......

Why?  :-\ come on Carl do u really feel that way, I hope you don't, LEO's are so kwel  they don't cal you the lionhearted for nothing :D
« Last Edit: April 11, 2011, 05:40:53 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline BT65

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #110 on: April 11, 2011, 05:38:37 PM »
  Its a guy thing for the most part but I bet many women think the same way too 'deep down inside'. 

Yes lord.  And I'm the same as Ann, men and women are included.  I'm not a Scorpio, however, and do not follow the Zodiac, so I'm not aware of the characteristics that go along with each sign.  I am a Virgo, though.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #111 on: April 11, 2011, 05:44:26 PM »
Yes lord.  And I'm the same as Ann, men and women are included.  I'm not a Scorpio, however, and do not follow the Zodiac, so I'm not aware of the characteristics that go along with each sign.  I am a Virgo, though.

Virgo's are Great people, I knew a few of em' men & women  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #112 on: April 11, 2011, 06:09:37 PM »
So how did we go from a whiny thread about Private Messages to which Zodiac sign likes to fuck the most? ;)

Another typical day on Teh Forumz.....

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Online Jeff G

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #113 on: April 11, 2011, 06:23:56 PM »
I'm a Taurus so I like to fuck however I say so .

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #114 on: April 11, 2011, 06:26:28 PM »

Rev, I think someone hijacked your account!

Yeah, it was one of them multiple personalities.  I slapped her silly and went back to watching some bareback S&M pornz. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #115 on: April 11, 2011, 06:39:17 PM »
Mercury Retrograde makes me want to do the wild thang. 

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #116 on: April 11, 2011, 06:44:08 PM »
I'm a Taurus so I like to fuck however I say so .

Jeff had a BF that was a Taurus OH FUCK YEAH  :P my Father was also  ;)
« Last Edit: April 11, 2011, 06:46:53 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #117 on: April 11, 2011, 07:03:04 PM »
Jeff had a BF that was a Taurus OH FUCK YEAH  :P my Father was also  ;)

My ex was a Libra.  I have probably had me some hanky panky with all twelve at some point, but will say that those Scorpios AND Aries menz can sure lay some pipe!   

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #118 on: April 11, 2011, 07:24:43 PM »



    Why does most  horoscopes include something like, "Beware of the Capricorn for he will bury you under the house in many different locations"...   I don't understand the hate.  My wife use to try to read hers to me and it always said something negative about my sign.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #119 on: April 11, 2011, 07:31:57 PM »
It doesn't really mean anything Tomas  ;D you have to kinda read between-the-lines, but as far as personalities in horoscopes go with different signs, those are very spot-on  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #120 on: April 11, 2011, 08:02:37 PM »
Yeah, it was one of them multiple personalities.  I slapped her silly and went back to watching some bareback S&M pornz. 

btw Moonie- Moon, Lovin the Avatar!! Holy shit, it's kinda like our own little Xtube right here in the Forums. Keep up the good work.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #121 on: April 11, 2011, 08:24:15 PM »
btw Moonie- Moon, Lovin the Avatar!! Holy shit, it's kinda like our own little Xtube right here in the Forums. Keep up the good work.

-Will


Oh.  I thought he was just chewing some really good bubble gum.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #122 on: April 11, 2011, 08:35:13 PM »

Oh.  I thought he was just chewing some really good bubble gum.

Somethin tells me that's not Bubble-Yum making that face.
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #123 on: April 11, 2011, 08:45:01 PM »
Y'all need to stop having impure thoughts.  That face is while on the stationary bike.  It was a good workout.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline drewm

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #124 on: April 11, 2011, 10:28:47 PM »
Son, your cheeks weren't even red. Just wait 'til I really get going!

Intriguing LOL  :)
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #125 on: April 11, 2011, 11:34:17 PM »
Virgo's are Great people, I knew a few of em' men & women  ;D

I'm also a Virgo.  Cold, emotionless, analytical, hooray.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #126 on: April 12, 2011, 12:08:36 AM »

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #127 on: April 12, 2011, 08:01:07 AM »
I am a Virgo, though.

Really? Virgo? The Virgin? Really? ;D :D ;)

So how did we go from a whiny thread about Private Messages to which Zodiac sign likes to fuck the most? ;)

Because, as we all know, sex is everything and a romp between the sheets (or in the sling, or wearing a basque or mask or leather chaps, or or or....) is always the best way to cure whining.

Yeah, it was one of them multiple personalities.  I slapped her silly and went back to watching some bareback S&M pornz. 

Ah, I figured as much. I hope you both enjoyed the slapping session.

That face is while on the stationary bike.

Stationary bike? That's a new one.... here they call them the "Town Bike" cuz everyone gets a ride! ;D

Intriguing LOL  :)

I'm always up for a bit of intrigue. ;)


MtD

Matty, you have to stop wearing your hair like that! It just doesn't suit you.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #128 on: April 12, 2011, 08:05:28 AM »
Matty, you have to stop wearing your hair like that! It just doesn't suit you.

Yea dude, and nobody is gonna want you to give them any head with all that tooth action going on. 

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #129 on: April 12, 2011, 08:09:54 AM »
Yea dude, and nobody is gonna want you to give them any head with all that tooth action going on. 

On the bright side, if he gets them all yanked he will be able to give a great gumjob!
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #130 on: April 12, 2011, 08:16:36 AM »
Matty, you have to stop wearing your hair like that! It just doesn't suit you.

Can't be me pet. He has WAY too many teeth.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #131 on: April 12, 2011, 08:31:47 AM »
Can't be me pet. He has WAY too many teeth.

MtD

Must be your latest houseboi then. Amiright?
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #132 on: April 12, 2011, 03:19:49 PM »
Must be your latest houseboi then. Amiright?

Nope, Bambang is Indonesian and has all his teeth. I have the highest standards when it comes to the help. Not unlike purchasing livestock -- they must be sound in fang and fetlock. Also I favour a glossy coat. :)

The oaf in that pictar is the neighbours gardener. An obliging if somewhat slow lad, their standards for domestics are somewhat lower than my own.

MtD

Offline BT65

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #133 on: April 12, 2011, 05:50:29 PM »
Really? Virgo? The Virgin? Really? ;D :D ;)

Yes, what do the faces mean?  Is there something about my sign I should know?  Sorry, I'm really zodiac illiterate.  I mean, I'm not quite the virgin, but you already know that. :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #134 on: April 12, 2011, 09:35:46 PM »
Yes, what do the faces mean?  Is there something about my sign I should know?  Sorry, I'm really zodiac illiterate.  I mean, I'm not quite the virgin, but you already know that. :-*

My Dearest Betty-

 YOU, not a virgin? I have such a difficult time believing this...... :-*
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Ann

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #135 on: April 13, 2011, 10:13:52 AM »
Yes, what do the faces mean?  Is there something about my sign I should know?  Sorry, I'm really zodiac illiterate.  I mean, I'm not quite the virgin, but you already know that. :-*

Each sign of the Zodiac is known as something. For example, Scorpio is a scorpion, Pisces is a fish, Capricorn is a goat, and Virgo is a virgin. I was teasing you.  :-*  ;D
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Online Jeff G

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #136 on: April 13, 2011, 11:47:43 AM »
Each sign of the Zodiac is known as something. For example, Scorpio is a scorpion, Pisces is a fish, Capricorn is a goat, and Virgo is a virgin. I was teasing you.  :-*  ;D

Oh lord ... this means my mama's got the crabs  :o

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #137 on: April 13, 2011, 11:49:39 AM »
Oh lord ... this means my mama's got the crabs  :o

 :D :D :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #138 on: April 13, 2011, 05:18:15 PM »
The Minnesota Planetarium Society wanted to change it all back in January.  My moon is in Virgo but my sun is in Leo and my rising sign is lord knows what these days.  I just know my ass stays so confused most of the time when I try to remember who I should be compatible with.  I just want a man that likes to play 'hide the weenie' no matter what his birthday is. 

Offline BT65

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #139 on: April 13, 2011, 05:28:29 PM »
My Dearest Betty-

 YOU, not a virgin? I have such a difficult time believing this...... :-*

I know.  But it only happened once (sex)-when I was a stripper, and someone paid me big bucks to go behind the "magical door."  I believe this is also how I became infected. ::)  Hopefully those who don't know me know I'm kidding about only fucking once.

Each sign of the Zodiac is known as something. For example, Scorpio is a scorpion, Pisces is a fish, Capricorn is a goat, and Virgo is a virgin. I was teasing you.  :-*  ;D

Oh I knew you were teasing.  I just thought maybe there was something about my sign I didn't know that I should (actually, I know nothing).  :-*

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline denb45

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Re: Private messages
« Reply #140 on: April 13, 2011, 06:23:46 PM »
But it only happened once (sex)-when I was a stripper



OH YEAH, I love strippers, cigars, and booze, my father broke me in right, when he use to take me to all of those card-rooms and titty joints ( private only clubs) when I was a young Boy, he also owned a BAR too
as long as I swore to never tell my mother where he took me  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


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