Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 01, 2014, 07:29:19 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 640654
  • Total Topics: 48665
  • Online Today: 181
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Are there people who NEVER disclose and live with this secret all their lives?  (Read 14969 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,702
  • 31 Years Poz
If any one contracts this in this day and time from having unprotected sex it is our own fault.  Those who contracted this before the knowledge was out that is a little different.  I feel even with the way I contracted this is still my own fault.  Having unprotected sex is a choice that we make.  There for if you choose to not use protection yes it is your own fault. This is just my personal belief on the subject.  

I agree with your post and I wonder why it seems so important, to some, to find blame in how one became poz. I'm the first to admit it was my fault for becoming poz, but how does that change the fact that I am poz? I find it sad, that people can get cancer, from smoking or diabetes, from poor eating habits, but nobody looks to "blame" them for contracting a disease. They made the "mistakes" of smoking or overeating and nobody is ridiculing them for their action, so why is so different with HIV?
« Last Edit: March 21, 2011, 01:45:12 PM by killfoile »

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Define what you mean by "wrong".  Seriously, I think this idea of HIV as being dirty or a scourge from on high, is what makes disclosure so hard. If you insist on accepting that you are somehow "unworthy", due to being poz, then the issue lies squarely with you. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. I realize there are very valid reasons for not disclosing your status, but feeling like you are "unclean" should not be one of them. This type of thinking can be very damaging, as it promotes feelings of being "broken" and that by being so, you are doomed to a life devoid of love and happiness.

I think the most important part of disclosure is what you believe yourself. I cannot control what others think, do or say. I can however, change if or how I react to such challenges. I know I am not broken, nor unclean and nobody will every convince me otherwise. Sometimes the power you seek, lies within you.

That's what I was trying to get at, Joe.  The post above mine stated that he got it through a "cheating ex" and therefore "did nothing wrong".   The implication of that, to me, seems to be that there are others who are more deserving of infection - and I get sick of the blame game going on...that somehow there are those who are more deserving of sickness than others.  

For myself, I felt more "broken" prior to HIV than afterwards, to be honest.  I grew up in a very religious environment that taught me to feel "unworthy" and "unclean"...and most of my later risky behavior stemmed from that.  While I agree that, as an adult, there is a certain amount of consent...I don't see that as much in kids who are reared to view themselves a certain way.  They rely on adults to be their models and to frame their perceptions.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline PozJeepGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
  • Facebook - Jacob Perry
OK a couple of things here.  By no means do I mean to offend anyone.  I have had plenty of unprotected sex in my life and I am amazed I became positive while being in a relationship and not being single.  I feel that if you are a whore (and no judgement. there were times in my life I fit in this group) or if you are a iv drug user and sharing dirty needles and you become positvie you might not want to disclose due to social pressure and social preception.  

I have learned that when I do disclose to people the next question is do you know how you got this.  I can say it was from the ex cheating and brought it home.  People in general and my family can except it and process it easier than just saying I didn't use a condom.  I agree that it doesn't matter how you got it but I can see why some wouldn't want to disclose based on that alone.  I agree with the other post that says no one can make you feel anything, but when you are stuck in your own head peoples perceptions don't help make it any easier.  I have found in my own case by excepting my own part in becoming positive has or is making it easier to move forward and live my life.  

I would tell anyone to go ahead and disclose.  Don't hide it.  When you hide something there is always that felling that people are going to find out and judge you.  To hell with that, just go ahead and disclose and that's one last problem on your plate
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline PozJeepGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
  • Facebook - Jacob Perry
That's what I was trying to get at, Joe.  The post above mine stated that he got it through a "cheating ex" and therefore "did nothing wrong".   The implication of that, to me, seems to be that there are others who are more deserving of infection - and I get sick of the blame game going on...that somehow there are those who are more deserving of sickness than others.  

I'm sorry man that's not what I meant in anyway.  I am just finding that alot of positive people don't want to except their own role in becoming positvie.  I meant you made a wrong choice.  Not that you deserve to be sick or anything along those lines
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Well then...we can all disclose and just blame it on a cheating ex.  Or a condom that broke....that's a popular one.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
PJG:  I do own my responsibility.  That's why I just outright said I got it through my own sexual behavior.  No exemptions for cheating exes or broken rubbers or anything else.  I got it because the person I was made the choices he did...and those choices had consequences.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline PozJeepGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
  • Facebook - Jacob Perry
sorry once again man didn't mean to piss you off.  To get back to what this tread started its best to just disclose and not have that problem on top of the health problems as well
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,702
  • 31 Years Poz
Well then...we can all disclose and just blame it on a cheating ex.  Or a condom that broke....that's a popular one.

I still want to know why people want to know how you became poz? Would they ask someone in a wheelchair, how they became crippled. Most probably not. Why? Because it is considered rude. So why is it OK to inquire on how you got the bum flu?

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
No arguement here, I agree.

No, judgment or criticism here, I'm totally in agreement  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
OK a couple of things here.  By no means do I mean to offend anyone.  

You might not be trying to offend but you certainly are and saying you don't mean to doesn't make your comments any less offensive.

I feel that if you are a whore (and no judgement. there were times in my life I fit in this group) or if you are a iv drug user and sharing dirty needles and you become positvie you might not want to disclose due to social pressure and social preception. 


This continues the thinking that there is some difference in how we each got infected.  Guess what doesn't matter how, we're here now. I have yet to have anyone ask me how, they probably can figure it out.  And if someone did i ask i would simply ask "Does it really matter?"  In my opinion it doesn't.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
At least Woods understands me. 

No, only one person has asked me how I got it - a very young gay guy.  I took it as a teaching moment and told him what I said here:  by taking load after load up the rump.

Seriously.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,141
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
I've never had a single person, after I disclosed my HIV status to them, ask me how specifically I got it.  Not a single friend or family member has done this.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Sweet_C

  • Member
  • Posts: 171
I got mine because I took load after load after load up my rump.  Did I do something wrong?

IMO you didn't do anything "wrong".  The way I see it, you engaged in a natural act that just about every living human being has an urge to engage in--an act that most people do with no or very few negative consequences.  You knowingly took a risk, just like everyone else, and it didn't pay off.   I really don't understand why there is such a need to cast judgment in matters like this.   I really don't understand why there is such a need to cast judgment in matters like this.  

My problem with the line of thinking that having unprotected sex is "wrong"  or that we somehow deserve the disease for getting it that way is that it feels more like people are blaming us for being unlucky than for what we actually did to get the disease.  No one seems to go around labelling HIV negative people for being wrong or irresponsible.   I would hope that we are past the stage where we still view sex as a "sin".    To me it's just like speeding.  Yes it's "against the law", but people only seem to get up in arms about it when there's a wreck or you get pulled over for it.





Tested positive on September 11, 2008

Offline PozJeepGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
  • Facebook - Jacob Perry
ROFL bum flu.  I haven't heard that one yet.  I believe its because people are stupid.   bum flu that will be stuck in my head all day now lol
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline John2038

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,529
  • Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
    • HIV Research News (Twitter)
Q: Are there people who NEVER disclose and live with this secret all their lives?
A: Yes, I know one.
?

Offline Sweet_C

  • Member
  • Posts: 171
To the pp, nobody cares how you got HIV.  You could have gotten it from your mother in the womb, and people will still treat you like crap.  They treat us like that because they are afraid of getting it themselves.  HIV is a very powerful equalizer.  I feel it is important that we stand up for anyone who has HIV, whether they are a prostitute or a drug user or whatever, because how those people are treated is how we all are going to be treated.  
Tested positive on September 11, 2008

Offline Sweet_C

  • Member
  • Posts: 171



I guess it boils down to two things i wanted to discuss. Firstly, are there people who keep their status all to themselves and never disclose? How do you feel about it? Does this secret  ever suffocate you mentally?
What bout people who kept this secret for years and then eventually told family/close friends. How was it during that time -prior to your disclosure. Did u regret keeping it a secret so long?

 I don't think this option would be healthy for me- but then disclosing would probably big another host of problems to already add to a bad situation.


I have been positive for about 2.5 years, and  I only disclose to medical health professionals.  I think that one day I will disclose, but for right now I just don't have the energy.  It's tough to sit back and hear all of the erroneous information about HIV without countering it.  But I know if I disclose right now, I would not be prepared to handle all of the negative consequences.  I also have to think about my husband and kids, because they will be affected by any disclosure I make.  I don't underestimatae how mean and vile people can be.  It seems that the more ignorant the person, the more hysterical they are about it.

I often wonder why it is so hard for me to disclose.  The peole who are most negative about it are peole who I would never want to hang around anyway.  I guess human beings really are pack animals. 
Tested positive on September 11, 2008

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,031
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
How the person who has HIV feels about the manner by which they were infected in more important than how other people perceive it. As far as who and when to tell, everyone has a different situation and no one strategy is going to work for everyone. However for those who don't want to ever tell anyone you need be honest with yourself about why you are keeping it a secret, understand that it takes energy to keep that secret, appreciate the wall it creates between you and other people you care about, and realize that when people find out about it there will be consequences for your secrecy.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,141
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
?

Hello John2038, and welcome to the thread.  Do you have something to contribute or are you just here to troll?
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,561
I got me the good AIDS....lol
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
I've never had a single person, after I disclosed my HIV status to them, ask me how specifically I got it.  Not a single friend or family member has done this.

I have also never had anybody ask how I was infected.

As for disclosing, there are quite a few things about me that many would not like - I'm gay, I'm HIV+, I have a tendency to be a bit slutty, etc.  If their acceptance of those things is what causes them to not like me, honestly, I'm better off without them.  I don't deal with judgment well... of others or of me.  I haven't had any bad come from my disclosing.  I did lose three or four tricks, but I've more than made up for them.  My family is totally accepting and supportive, my friends don't have issues with it, etc.  

Like many, I wanted to wait to disclose.  I never really decided what I was waiting on; maybe it was for me to be on meds and undetectable.  By doing this, I got to tell my mom while I was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to numerous IV's, monitors, and had an oxygen cannula strapped to my head.  Yep, I had pneumonia (PCP) from HIV.  Which would have been more traumatic for my family - disclosing that I was HIV+ sitting at home or when I was sick in the hospital?
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,130
"the bum flu"

ROFLMFAO
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
I've been asked how I acquired my infection plenty of times. More than I can count/remember. I think maybe it has to do with people's perception that white women don't get teh aids unless they're a sex worker or injecting drug user. One person actually said to me "you must have gotten it through a blood transfusion, yes?" And maybe gay men don't get asked so much because it's automatically assumed you got it the traditional bum-flu way.

When I do get asked, I simply tell them that I didn't insist on condoms. Sometimes I tell them it's none of their damn business, but that rarely happens, I only say that when they're being rude.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Sweet_C

  • Member
  • Posts: 171
I've been asked how I acquired my infection plenty of times. More than I can count/remember. I think maybe it has to do with people's perception that white women don't get teh aids unless they're a sex worker or injecting drug user. One person actually said to me "you must have gotten it through a blood transfusion, yes?" And maybe gay men don't get asked so much because it's automatically assumed you got it the traditional bum-flu way.

When I do get asked, I simply tell them that I didn't insist on condoms. Sometimes I tell them it's none of their damn business, but that rarely happens, I only say that when they're being rude.

Good point.
On a related note, when I was at the hospital giving birth, a nurse asked me how I got it.  I told her unprotected sex, but she kept probing.  It became clear that what she really wanted to know was not how I got it, but who I got it from.   

 I am an African American woman, and I think for us, people automatically assume that if we aren’t prostitutes or drug users that we got it from a man on the “down low” and it really pisses me off.  One thing I hate about having this disease is how people pity you and treat you like a victim.   I’ve noticed that many black women on T.V. who disclose their status love to blame it all on the “down low” phenomenon and not on their own failure to insist on a condom, which protects you no matter what the orientation of the man is.   So much of the stigma surrounding this disease is rooted in prejudice and people’s puritanical ideas about sex.



On a relateed note
Tested positive on September 11, 2008

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,771
  • red pill? or blue pill?
People ask me cause I'm old and cause I had known positive bfs and never got HIV and was a known "survivor" as they used to call me.  Meaning unscathed.   

Personally, saying you got HIV because of a cheating ex ("he brought filth into our holy union, blah blah") is bad faith and doesn't help anyone. Not the ex. Not you. Not the person hearing that "explanation".  Not the HIV+ community generally.

People who got it through sex got it through sex. If you feel like answering the question, "How?" --  isn't saying "via sex" enough for most of the population to figure out the possibilities? 

People are going to take the fact that we are infected and put it through their own filter of judgment (however strong or weak) and it doesnt matter how true or untrue, or detailed or matter of fact or vague the information we offer is.

Ann's right that some cases incite more curiosity than others.  And I definitely agree with others who point out that different cultures and different layers of intimacy and closeness in a relation can call up different amounts of curiousity.

But  have to observe that some people do wonder how people get all sorts of diseases.  Most people aren't close or rude or pushy enough to ask "is there a history of that in your family" but that question comes up with other diseases too, just depends on the relationship. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,771
  • red pill? or blue pill?
One thing I hate about having this disease is how people pity you and treat you like a victim.   I've noticed that many black women on T.V. who disclose their status love to blame it all on the “down low” phenomenon and not on their own failure to insist on a condom, which protects you no matter what the orientation of the man is.   So much of the stigma surrounding this disease is rooted in prejudice and people’s puritanical ideas about sex.

Here here!  And their ideas about drug use, too. 
A friend gave me a list of mutual acquaintances with HEP C and I went ahead and asked about the rich ladies. Its because I was ignorant of the risk. He matter of factly explained the coke spoons - it had just never occurred to me.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline edfu

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,084
I have also never had anybody ask how I was infected.

Surprisingly (?), I've been asked that question by medical personnel (!). 
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Surprisingly (?), I've been asked that question by medical personnel (!). 

Maybe it helps that I have one Dr (my ID Dr) who's been dealing with HIV since the '80's.  The only other medical people that I've dealt with were when I had surgery on my hand (asked if I was on meds) and my dentist (asked how my health / numbers were). 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline edfu

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,084
Surprisingly (?), I've been asked that question by medical personnel (!).  

P.S.  Oh, and by ASO case-managers (I think Ryan White funding requires that they have to keep track of mode of transmission).    
« Last Edit: March 21, 2011, 09:50:22 PM by edfu »
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Surprisingly (?), I've been asked that question by medical personnel (!).  

I've been ask this every-time I get a new doctor, you would think, that as  many times as I told them, that it would be in my medical records, it probably is, but the new doctors just don't bother to look  ::) it's funny my local ASO knows this, so they stopped asking me this over 8 yrs ago  ;) so whoever reads anything in this forum, are anyone that might be trying to find out about where I live now, knows this, it's a relief to me now
now that the word is out, and I feel so liberated  ;)
« Last Edit: March 21, 2011, 09:54:08 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Here here!  And their ideas about drug use, too. 
A friend gave me a list of mutual acquaintances with HEP C and I went ahead and asked about the rich ladies. Its because I was ignorant of the risk. He matter of factly explained the coke spoons - it had just never occurred to me.

OK.  So who is this "friend" who goes around outing people and their medical conditions?

Does he also hand out lists of acquaintances with HIV that includes your name?

Geez....with friends like those...
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
   I've only been asked how I was infected by other HIV+ women I've dated.  Only my wife and one other woman could handle the truth.  It is what it is...  I remember this one particular woman asked me on the first date, "So what's your story?".  Interestingly, I knew exactly what she was gettin at.

  And her story was far worse than mine, kinda glad she gave me the cold shoulder.  Her husband looked like OJ.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,141
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
   I've only been asked how I was infected by other HIV+ women I've dated.  Only my wife and one other woman could handle the truth.  It is what it is... 

Miss P is a woman and she can handle the truth.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Miss P is a woman and she can handle the truth.

Can you make a youtube video for me like you've seen me post before?  You know the ones.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,141
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Can you make a youtube video for me like you've seen me post before?  You know the ones.

Don't you mean the xtube one where you're using a vacuum pump on your sphincter?
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Don't you mean the xtube one where you're using a vacuum pump on your sphincter?

David, now you see, this is why I've always liked you.   I never heard the term popper before you arrived, not only do I now realize it's not a term, but that it also doesn't involve anything painfully poppin.  And the Tina filled enemas?  I thought Stevie Nicks was a liar, but not no more!  And it's you I have to thank for this.

I love you man, I really do.

Vacuum pumps on the butthole??  Really?
« Last Edit: March 21, 2011, 11:15:35 PM by skeebo1969 »
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,130
Don't you mean the xtube one where you're using a vacuum pump on your sphincter?

I didn't know others did that, I LOVE my pump  :P
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline spacebarsux

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
Since people are talking about whether they were asked how they got infected, I have to say that I will MOST definitely be asked that. People in India are EXTREMELY inquisitive and want ot get to the bottom of things- especially family and close friends.

Hell, when I went to the HIV specialist here- even he asked me whether I had  a blood transfusion in the past few years. I just said I am Gay- then he said "Really? Implying that I didn't look gay nor did i fit his usual HIV patient stereotype!

Which ever way i look at it, I have alot of cultural bullshit to face compare to you guys.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Which ever way i look at it, I have alot of cultural bullshit to face compare to you guys.

Not so fast there.  We've all got our burdens to carry.  Ours just may be a little different from yours.  I've had plenty of people ask me how I became infected once I disclosed.  I've also had people say "How could you get infected when you had all the information!".

Offline spacebarsux

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
Sorry hellraiser didn't mean to say that my problems are any bigger than anyone else's. Its been a bit over a month, so ciut me some slack lol :)
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline spacebarsux

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
This is slightly off-topic but I get furious about it everytime I think about so I am going to vent here and share with all of you how I received my test result.

I went early morning to a reputable private lab to get tested. they told me to collect the results in the evening between 6.30. to 8.00 pm. I went back to work, went out for lunch. I looked at the watch it was 5.00 pm and I had not got a phone call or anything. I assumed all was well.

I went over to the lab at 6.15 pm. There was this guy at the window counter handing out various blood results to people lined up. So my turn comes and he just casually hands over my test result with "Reactive" written on it like its the most casual piece of information! I had no counselling or anything of the sort! Nothing!

Later, I noticed that at the back of the test results the lab has printed this Discalimer in small print that states that if any results are surprising or alarming then one should contact the lab immediately for counselling and verification.

That was without doubt the worst day.

My point of telling you this story was just to give an indication of the patheitc state of affairs in the medical field here- and other crap I might have to face now :(

Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline hope_for_a_cure

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,502
I am glad I dont have to go it alone with this.  While I dont disclose to everybody I meet, the folks that matter to me know and makes it easier for us to coexist.  Short and simple but true.

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,771
  • red pill? or blue pill?
OK.  So who is this "friend" who goes around outing people and their medical conditions?

Does he also hand out lists of acquaintances with HIV that includes your name?

Geez....with friends like those...

Of course you make a good point!

But I didnt ask for his list.  Also I didn't give him the list of people I know with Hep C.

About the HIV - I told so many friends about my HIV, and I know people gossip and theres not much one can do about it.  But its been a bit more surprising how little some people do finally gossip.

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,959
Hell, friends gossip, family gossip, we gossip. I think people would be surprised to know how many people actually know or speculate about someone's status. People gossip about people's sexuality, mode of transmission, honesty, etc, etc, around here all the time via PM's, Skype, email and carrier pidgeon. It's human nature. It is what it is.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Hell, friends gossip, family gossip, we gossip. I think people would be surprised to know how many people actually know or speculate about someone's status. People gossip about people's sexuality, mode of transmission, honesty, etc, etc, around here all the time via PM's, Skype, email and carrier pidgeon. It's human nature. It is what it is.

Dach you are spot-on when I told some of my cop-co-workers, everyone knew about in less than a weeks time
and a lot of the guys used to say to me "oh you got the same thing that Magic Johnson the Basketball player has" and I'd says YES your right, even back then 93/94 almost all of my co-workers were STr8 Men
and they even knew how NOT to get it, and what to do if any of them did, at least one of them got it, and later we became the best of friends, we still speak to each other every now & then  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.