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Author Topic: Just keep your mouth shut  (Read 1217 times)

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Offline surf18

  • Member
  • Posts: 525
Just keep your mouth shut
« on: March 19, 2011, 11:29:25 PM »
Wow
Bf of ten Years
Who has been great tru this
We have an open deal
Any ways we get home tonight after drinking and were playing around
I play bite him
And he freaks out in a way
I'm like wtf it's not like I got germs
And he's luke well kind ..... Well I jumped on that
And got ready to just leave the bed fuck that
So to save his ass he tries to change the subject to my former bullima days
Ha telling me to go throw up

So again the point of my story is you can't trust anyone
Keep your mouth shut and only talk to gpd

Offline hope_for_a_cure

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,489
Re: Just keep your mouth shut
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2011, 08:40:00 AM »
His remark about telling you to go throw up was out of line. 

I would ask you though, is play biting something you have done in the past?  If so and all of a sudden he has a totally different reaction I would be somewhat alarmed.  Do you think his reaction was totally based on the fact that you are HIV+ instead of just freaking out over the 'play bite'?  I would sorta freak if my partner did that regardless of his HIV status. 

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,924
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Just keep your mouth shut
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2011, 10:28:01 AM »
how much drinking had gone on is a factor you should consider.

I'm sure your bf has had some doubts and issues of his own about your sero-discordant relationship. Though he may be intellectually ok with it, just like you probably have your own fears of "being infectious" or "passing this on to him", it only goes to reason that he has had some worries in his own head. Just because y'all have talked them out doesn't magically make feelings always go away; we just learn to deal with them.

so in a moment when alcohol had lowered some inhibitions, and you bite your partner, he freaks out a little. Obviously you responded a little freaked out yourself and the argument was enjoined. After that, it sounds like a normal argument with neither of you backing down, both of you pushing back against each other, and both of you responding with more anger. (because when people are backed into a corner being attacked, they always respond by lashing out)

I hope things are better in the light of day. I hope too that you see that your partner, just like you probably do too, has fears/worries about HIV. Of course, already positive, you no longer have the fear of acquiring HIV like your partner still does - and will have until (god forbid) he becomes infected.

So again the point of my story is you can't trust anyone
Keep your mouth shut and only talk to gpd
that's just you in a bad mood last night lashing out.  :D Surely you're not suggesting that someone be in a 10-yr relationship, having sex, and NOT disclosing to your partner.  ::)

Besides it's not like telling your partner personal secrets, fears, and other intimate details about yourself is anything at all like regular disclosure to friends or even to family. Your partner will always know exactly what buttons to push in an argument because they are so intimate and entwined with your personality.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline surf18

  • Member
  • Posts: 525
Re: Just keep your mouth shut
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2011, 11:12:26 AM »
thanks guys. yes much better in the light of day. hes a great supportive guy and your right i need to think of things from his point. i guess in this dx i have been a bit selfish and its all about me in my warped mind. where as i havent taken the time to think of his feelings.this has to be so hard for him to.im gonna let this thread die and move on.thanks again guys.

 


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