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Author Topic: Ugggh  (Read 3572 times)

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Offline Kendoll

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  • Love is a gift, never owed...
    • Adventures In Gay Dating
Ugggh
« on: March 06, 2011, 02:28:59 PM »
Is it feeling sorry for yourself if the things I'm about to say make me sound really pitiful and if it's all 100 % true ? You be the judge.

I lost my home in DC in 2005 and had to move to North Carolina to live with relatives to keep from being homeless. I live in a small town about 30 miles west of Charlotte. To say that it's isolating to be positive here is the understatement of the year. Dating is impossible. I know there are other poz people around but they lie about their status and I refuse to do that. Even going online, people show no interest and rarely talk to me. I've gotten the reputation as "that AIDS boy" and people give me a wide berth. I'm so lonely and sexually frustrated that every little thing makes me cry. I do see a therapist and take an antidepressant but still, the problem persists. My health isn't that good either. My cd4 is 100 and I suffer from major fatigue issues. Two years ago I had cancer.

I don't know what to do or where to go anymore. I have no money, so I can't move. I do still work part-time though.

Anybody, have a suggestion ?

Offline leatherman

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Re: Ugggh
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2011, 02:57:26 PM »
My cd4 is 100
hey there from a small town 20 miles S of Charlotte. ;D I had to move back from OH to living with my Mom to avoid homelessness myself, after my 2nd partner passed away just a few yrs ago in 2008, so I can empathize with your situation to some extent.

I'm a little worried to hear about your low cd4 count. Are you on meds yet? You know, getting proper treatment for the HIV could certainly help you with your health "not being that good", probably with the major fatigue issues and perhaps to some extent with your depression issues.

as to the dating, is there an ASO in your area? Do they offer social events where you could meet other people? Do they offer volunteer opportunities where you could expand your circle of friends and perhaps make more social/dating contacts? Not only I have met people while volunteering and/or attending socials sponsored by my local ASO, but I've made a handful of friends since I moved to town 1.5 yrs ago, and even gotten lucky a time or two.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Kendoll

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Re: Ugggh
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2011, 10:07:16 PM »
I am on meds. I'm taking Isentress & Truvada. As far as an ASO in my area, yes...we have ALFA in Hickory. Only problem is : If you're a client (I am), you can't be a volunteer. Weird catch22.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Ugggh
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2011, 11:11:07 PM »
If you're a client (I am), you can't be a volunteer. Weird catch22.
wow, that is kinda weird from my perspective. Down here in Rock Hill, we have a mix of client and non-client volunteers. Most of the non-clients are students from Winthrop who man our exhibition booth and do on-campus ASO-sponsored events. The vast majority of volunteers who do most of the jobs though are all clients. I often bemoan the fact that we can't seem to get more HIV- volunteers; but at least it means we (the pozzies) are pretty responsible about taking care of ourselves.  ;)

I am on meds. I'm taking Isentress & Truvada.
I'm glad to hear that. ;D A cd4 count of 100 is frighteningly low, so I'm going to assume that you haven't been on meds too long then. Some good news to take to heart is that once your cd4s get closer and above 200, probably within the next few months, you should start feeling better (ie less fatigue and poor health). And feeling better from actually being healthier will help alleviate some of the depression and make you feel better emotionally too.

Sorry I can't help more with suggestions about meeting people and/or dating. Since my move totally changed my life (like losing my partner wasn't enough to totally change everything ::) ) I knew that I would have to take drastic measures to make friends in my "new" life - much less if I ever wanted to find sexual partners or even another boyfriend. (of course, it's all a little harder anyway as 50 yrs old if about to be just a yr away) So I have made a committed effort/plan to attend every function, accept every offer to meet others, and to volunteer at every event when I might meet other people, etc.

It's been kinda tough keeping my social-happiness level up to attend all these events but in the last yr it's paid off. I have a handful of friends now (and have been invited to numerous non-ASO events), and I've gotten laid a few times too. WooHoo! Though I'm not really looking for a boyfriend, one guy has invited me out on several dates now.

Hopefully someone will be able to offer you some more suggestions; but I will warn you that it's probably going to take time. Time to get your health better and time to work towards meeting more people. You're also going to have to work and be proactive towards meeting more people. Most problems we face (except for death ;) ) can be made better but it takes time and it takes work - so best of luck to you as you work towards meeting more people.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Bucko

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Re: Ugggh
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2011, 08:57:09 PM »
I am on meds. I'm taking Isentress & Truvada. As far as an ASO in my area, yes...we have ALFA in Hickory. Only problem is : If you're a client (I am), you can't be a volunteer. Weird catch22.

That's completely fucked up. Do they at least have social events where you can mix and mingle? How about any groups? Even if you're unlikely to find a date (and I'm not certain I'd encourage dating within the dynamics of a group anyway), at least you could find some face-to-face support.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

 


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