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Author Topic: Who’s In Control?  (Read 13825 times)

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Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #50 on: March 03, 2011, 05:21:47 PM »
HIV is connected to money and I often think about HIV like I think about rent and savings accounts - pain in the ass realities you have to deal with. 

I guess as long as you have a job that's good enough for you and also provides a living, you still have the control.

I could freak out and break down without a job and a cozy place to live. I suppose living in Switzerland I'll always have medical care.  Theres much more to life than disease prevention. As long as I keep anxiety to a manageable level, I don't think anything controls me.  But you gotta bring home the bacon thats for sure.

"Aint Nothing going on but RENT" that's all I worry about, then Meds, food lights and gas, gas in my truck
and other household stuff each month, other than that, I'm happy, and AIDS doesn't control my life, it's only a stinking fucked up virus, that I've lived with almost half my adult life  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #51 on: March 03, 2011, 05:37:21 PM »
  LOL wrong, but whatever.  I love to see who exactly supports such words here and I'm quite surprised you are one of them.  So let me follow with your line of thinking--- perhaps he made the comment due to his animosity towards straights.  I mean it's not the first time.

  And trust many people were upset by it.   

If people were upset about that comment, then why didn't they start a thread to discuss it? Please tell me, how interjecting that comment, contributed anything to my thread, because I cannot see it. Since I missed the referenced comment the first time, I will not comment on whether it was appropriate or not, because it has been taken out of context. That being said, I have not and will never support degrading another member, for any reason. However, I also will not condemn a comment, made by another member, who is not present in the discussion. To me, that is seeking retribution by proxy and it's just not fair or necessary.

I am responsible for my words alone and for you to even suggest, that I judge people based on their route of infection... I am at a loss for words. I've been here for 9 years and I just learned how denb45 became infected, as if that ever would have mattered. We don't have to all get along, but we do have to respect each other and that is not what happened in this thread, by more than one poster.

Seriously, folks need to chill and start looking at what we share, rather than lines to form divisions. The forum has tools to discuss sensitive issues, that may not be appropriate in a thread. Please use those tools to settle disputes, so we can get back to what we do best. We can always do better, but we remain human and friends respect friends, settle their disputes and move on. We may all benefit, if maybe we spent more time really "reading" posts, for actual content, rather than inferring things that are never said. It hurts my brain when that happens.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #52 on: March 03, 2011, 06:22:57 PM »
perhaps he made the comment due to his animosity towards straights.  I mean it's not the first time.

  And trust many people were upset by it.   


Joe's animosity towards straights? If that's what you mean then you should produce evidence in the form of links to posts or fuck off. Joe is many things but a hater isn't one of them.

MtD

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #53 on: March 03, 2011, 06:53:38 PM »
My line of thinking? Actually, no.



So please allow me to clarify my line of thought about this:

I am glad you did.  You're way off base dude and full of shit to boot.  


Joe's animosity towards straights? If that's what you mean then you should produce evidence in the form of links to posts or fuck off. Joe is many things but a hater isn't one of them.

MtD

Jon's actually.  Get it right if your going to comment, in the mean time fuck off.

If people were upset about that comment, then why didn't they start a thread to discuss it? Please tell me, how interjecting that comment, contributed anything to my thread, because I cannot see it. Since I missed the referenced comment the first time, I will not comment on whether it was appropriate or not, because it has been taken out of context. That being said, I have not and will never support degrading another member, for any reason. However, I also will not condemn a comment, made by another member, who is not present in the discussion. To me, that is seeking retribution by proxy and it's just not fair or necessary.

Why do you think they wouldn't start a thread Joe?  

This subject has been talked about previously under different headings.  What was it? Positive positive... different opinion...  a different perspective... and now Who's in Control... it's all the same damn thing.  Anyone who showed a different opinion in those threads got blasted.   What?  Did you not see that too?   When you guys were calling on the chap as being compassionate and shitting gold I said otherwise then...

I admit, the way I executed this was in extreme poor taste.  That comment hurt to high hell.  If I made a separate thread I know, either way, the result would have been the same.  So... at this point you guys have a go at me, my back is strong.  

I am not all that proud though, trust me.  It bothers me to even have to go here...
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #54 on: March 03, 2011, 06:54:37 PM »
If people were upset about that comment, then why didn't they start a thread to discuss it?

Any time someone starts a thread to discuss previous drama it devolves into sad infighting instead of actual adult discussion.  This one's doing okay.  As for this thread it is about number 4 in a line of threads with similar subject matter, although in an interesting turn of events you have now restated basically exactly what has been stated by a number of people who you've been disagreeing with for going on a week or two.  I'm not sure if you're actually aware of this and I don't think you wrote it in order to put it in your own words.

  In the last month or so I've gotten plenty of "You're not welcome here" which is kind of ironic considering what these forums are intended for.  I'll admit I can be argumentative, stubborn, wrong and a host of other human flaws but I do make attempts to mediate arguments or at least point out where the disagreements lie when I'm not directly involved.  I do my best to steer clear of personal attacks although sometimes even that gets the better of me.

  I would like to see less of the "I know them so I'll stick up for them regardless of what they're saying" and more "Well argument X has merit" even if it's being voiced by someone you don't necessarily care for.  I'll go ahead and start my stop watch to wait for this fairly innocuous post to have a scorched earth campaign coming down on it, because sadly the forums have become predictable that way.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #55 on: March 03, 2011, 06:57:25 PM »
Joe's animosity towards straights?
but it does to you guys, the wise LTS.  In the last few weeks I have read nothing but judgement from you guys towards the newly diagnosed and it sucks.

And this little diddy here was even thrown in:
Or the person who does not have any empathy for gay folks (despite his detours into the wild world of backdoor sex) and then finds gay men and women to be his best friends during his tenure with HIV./color]

Just very fucking nice.  Can you explain this Joe?   Do you share this line of thought?
because many of us see HIV very differently, as in, nothing good can come from it.
here's a link to the elusive referenced comment that Skeebo used in discussing how there seems to be some animosity lately from part of the "LTS crowd" towards the newer diagnosed. Since Joe seemed to be speaking for that same group in this thread, Skeebo did not accuse Joe of disliking straights; but asked if he held the same opinion as the member he quoted.
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=36617.msg455446#msg455446

Personally, I don't think this was the best thread to debate this issue (even if it does seem to be yet another thread in a series about the idea of looking for the good in life after having gotten HIV - which some newer members initially termed as finding the good from having gotten HIV); but I do agree with Skeebo that there is a problem of rudeness that is shown towards many new members and the newer diagnosed
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #56 on: March 03, 2011, 07:06:17 PM »
Thank you for posting the link. I didn't know where that quote came from.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #57 on: March 03, 2011, 07:24:14 PM »
but I do agree with Skeebo that there is a problem of rudeness that is shown towards many new members and the newer diagnosed

This simply is not true and I could be wrong, but I don't think Skeebo would agree with you. This is a meme you and a couple of others like to perpetuate publicly and sadly, privately.

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #58 on: March 03, 2011, 07:31:22 PM »
I am glad you did.  You're way off base dude and full of shit to boot.  

I admit, the way I executed this was in extreme poor taste.  That comment hurt to high hell.  If I made a separate thread I know, either way, the result would have been the same.  So... at this point you guys have a go at me, my back is strong.  

I am not all that proud though, trust me.  It bothers me to even have to go here...

I am happy to have made you glad.

I think that I am not as far off base as you would like for me to be, which, for you, is the problem. It has been my experience that when a person reacts as strongly as you have to all of this, it is because something is hitting a little too close to home. You say yourself that "that comment hurt to high hell" why would it hurt so much if it didn't ring true? You expose yourself here, then try to cover by going on the attack.

I most certainly am full of shit. Just not in this instance. Full of shit is when you pull a stunt like you did here, then getting indignant and whine about it when it comes back and bites you on the ass like it has. You still have yet to explain WHY you felt the need to insert this combative quote and hijack this thread. Are you really that desperate for attention? It clearly didn't bother you to "go there" If it bothered you why did you do it?

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #59 on: March 03, 2011, 07:43:56 PM »
I am happy to have made you glad.

I think that I am not as far off base as you would like for me to be, which, for you, is the problem. It has been my experience that when a person reacts as strongly as you have to all of this, it is because something is hitting a little too close to home. You say yourself that "that comment hurt to high hell" why would it hurt so much if it didn't ring true? You expose yourself here, then try to cover by going on the attack.

I most certainly am full of shit. Just not in this instance. Full of shit is when you pull a stunt like you did here, then getting indignant and whine about it when it comes back and bites you on the ass like it has. You still have yet to explain WHY you felt the need to insert this combative quote and hijack this thread. Are you really that desperate for attention? It clearly didn't bother you to "go there" If it bothered you why did you do it?

CaptCarl

Way off base, maybe it hurt because it was a personal attack that singled him out as an individual.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #60 on: March 03, 2011, 07:44:21 PM »
I am happy to have made you glad.

I think that I am not as far off base as you would like for me to be, which, for you, is the problem. It has been my experience that when a person reacts as strongly as you have to all of this, it is because something is hitting a little too close to home. You say yourself that "that comment hurt to high hell" why would it hurt so much if it didn't ring true? You expose yourself here, then try to cover by going on the attack.

I most certainly am full of shit. Just not in this instance. Full of shit is when you pull a stunt like you did here, then getting indignant and whine about it when it comes back and bites you on the ass like it has. You still have yet to explain WHY you felt the need to insert this combative quote and hijack this thread. Are you really that desperate for attention? It clearly didn't bother you to "go there" If it bothered you why did you do it?

CaptCarl

Bite me in the ass.  Dude, are you serious?  I have always spoken up when I disagree with the group mentality.  Never  been shy in the least...  You obviously don't know me and this is not a loss for me in the least.  

Yes, you have absolutely no clue.  You see I've been here for over 5 years and have made some very close friends.  To indicate this is fake (which the quote did) is absolutely a lie, whether it be with a gay man or a positive woman.  While you're not one of them trust they are many.  So get your mind out of the gutter and go pull an engine or something.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #61 on: March 03, 2011, 07:55:00 PM »
Bite me in the ass.  Dude, are you serious?  I have always spoken up when I disagree with the group mentality.  Never  been shy in the least...  You obviously don't know me and this is not a loss for me in the least.  

Yes, you have absolutely no clue.  You see I've been here for over 5 years and have made some very close friends.  To indicate this is fake (which the quote did) is absolutely a lie, whether it be with a gay man or a positive woman.  While you're not one of them trust they are many.  So get your mind out of the gutter and go pull an engine or something.

I think someone has been hitting the sauce before posting. Try again tomorrow when you're sober, maybe then you'll make more sense.
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #62 on: March 03, 2011, 07:55:15 PM »
Bite me in the ass.  Dude, are you serious?  I have always spoken up when I disagree with the group mentality.  Never  been shy in the least...  You obviously don't know me and this is not a loss for me in the least.  

Yes, you have absolutely no clue.  You see I've been here for over 5 years and have made some very close friends.  To indicate this is fake (which the quote did) is absolutely a lie, whether it be with a gay man or a positive woman.  While you're not one of them trust they are many.  So get your mind out of the gutter and go pull an engine or something.
??? I need some for more Lorazopame I took some early today, but it's not working anymore  ??? I feel like the walls are closing in on me everytime I read something in this thread  :-[ I could really use some
JUNK in a sygine right now  :-[
« Last Edit: March 03, 2011, 07:57:05 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #63 on: March 03, 2011, 07:58:44 PM »
I think someone has been hitting the sauce before posting. Try again tomorrow when you're sober, maybe then you'll make more sense.

Assuming again are we?   If those cars are anything like your conclusions they must be sitting on flats.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Joe K

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #64 on: March 03, 2011, 08:02:48 PM »
Why do you think they wouldn't start a thread Joe?  

This subject has been talked about previously under different headings.  What was it? Positive positive... different opinion...  a different perspective... and now Who's in Control... it's all the same damn thing.  Anyone who showed a different opinion in those threads got blasted.   What?  Did you not see that too?   When you guys were calling on the chap as being compassionate and shitting gold I said otherwise then...

I admit, the way I executed this was in extreme poor taste.  That comment hurt to high hell.  If I made a separate thread I know, either way, the result would have been the same.  So... at this point you guys have a go at me, my back is strong.  

I am not all that proud though, trust me.  It bothers me to even have to go here...

Please take it down a notch. My comments centered on what you did and how you did it, not as a commentary about what someone else said to you. If you want to have an honest discussion, you need to be up front about what the issue is, who is involved and a result you would like to see. Rather than doing that, you confused this entire thread and you continue to imply that we take some twisted pleasure by being "mean" in responses. Really?

I do not know the history of the comment you referenced and if I said anything that you took as defending such a comment, well that was never my intent. I am more than happy to discuss real issues, without the drama and I don't think I have caused any with my responses. To be honest, I don't know what you want from me. You are asking me to pass judgment on a comment taken out of context and the only way I know that you are offended is because you tell me so. I accept that and I'm sorry you were hurt, but I did not cause that hurt. It is unfair of you, to corner me, into expressing an opinion, that I am not qualified to make. I did not share the history of that comment, because obviously there is more at play here, than just one comment.

I also cannot buy the "I can't post something serious, because I will be swarmed by negativity or whatever. If you feel strongly enough about something, you compose a respectful post, make your case and go from there. Suggesting that we actively stifle conversation is just too easy and I don't see any sharks circling. Some folks seem to go looking for something to jump on and that is just not my style. I may disagree with someone, but always in a respectful and honest fashion and if not, I expect to be called on my behavior.

Sorry, I just don't understand your situation enough, to be as pissed about it, as you insist I be.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2011, 08:14:28 PM by killfoile »

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #65 on: March 03, 2011, 08:24:00 PM »
Assuming again are we?   If those cars are anything like your conclusions they must be sitting on flats.

No. No assuming here. Thinking is the word I used. You really should try it sometime, you'd be amazed :-*

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #66 on: March 03, 2011, 08:34:51 PM »
Happiness is a warm gun  mama......... :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #67 on: March 03, 2011, 08:48:48 PM »
Happiness is a warm gun  mama......... :D

It certainly is big boy! ;)
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #68 on: March 03, 2011, 08:52:28 PM »
No. No assuming here. Thinking is the word I used. You really should try it sometime, you'd be amazed :-*

CaptCarl

I think you're an ass for commenting on things you know nothing about.  WoW amazing, you're right.  Now go and look at my picture in off topic and quit fantasizing about me wanting you.

I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #69 on: March 03, 2011, 09:01:32 PM »
 :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :-*
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Online Jeff G

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #70 on: March 03, 2011, 09:18:06 PM »
OK ... I have been sick with a cold and offline . As near as I can tell without reading this long thread is Joe wrote such a beautiful post it turned skeebo into a bitchy bottom and now you all are fighting over him ? ... am I right ?

Offline wolfter

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #71 on: March 03, 2011, 09:18:35 PM »
Wow, when I left the playground, I thought we were back on track to civility.  I joined these forums out of desperation and have remained because of the friendships I've developed.  I'm here for the support and understanding of other facing the same dilemas I do, not because I need to taught about this disease.  You all are important to me in your respective ways and I don't understand the chaos.  

productivity breeds content

Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #72 on: March 03, 2011, 09:24:38 PM »
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :-*

OHHH can I watch and video it, and upload it to www.machofucker.com   :P
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #73 on: March 04, 2011, 12:43:22 AM »
Jon's actually.  Get it right if your going to comment, in the mean time fuck off.

See that's why I qualified my post with an "if". Reading this drivel makes my eyes glaze over. Apologies for the error.

So to correct the record, I humbly request you produce evidence of Jon's animosity towards straights (links to posts kthnx) or fuck off. :)

But I'm not sure why you're so worried about animosity towards straights considering you yourself are as bent as a 13 dollar note. ::)

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #74 on: March 04, 2011, 12:00:57 PM »

Jon's actually.  Get it right if your going to comment, in the mean time fuck off.



You know, you could have asked me, in private or in public, if I was referring to you. I was most assuredly not.

Skeebo, if you saw yourself in that comment, that's your issue. It was not directed at you in any way whatsoever. You have been on this board long enough to know that is not the way I roll.

I was referring to many people I have encountered in real life, in ASOs and in HIV support groups, who, despite showing contempt for gay folks, and despite the duplicity and active efforts to hurt others, found support from the very people they vilified when push came to shove. When their own "cabal" of like-minded bigots cast them aside for acquiring HIV, gay men and women embraced them, despite having been the object of vitriol and even violence in the past.

Referring to you? You were the furthest from my mind. And if you had bothered to PM me for clarification instead of shitting on Joe's thread and trying to make me look like a bigot, this entire hijack of Joe's thoughtful posting would have been avoided.

That "others" agree with you and Hellraiser and Leather that I am capable of such a vicious personal attack is not only ludicrous, but it is also very telling of the behind-the-scenes activities via PM that have caused people to attack people, myself included, without provocation. A simple query to ME via PM would have resolved that, rather than assuming it was about a member with whom I have had mostly amicable conversations with, up until now.

And to insinuate that I have a problem with straight people? Really? Evidence please, because this is news to me.

 I applaud Joe's efforts. But the vitriol I find here from you and others makes this the opposite of a support group.

I might have said "fuck you" to a few people here, but I have never, EVER singled out someone and used their personal history against them. To say that I have is ridiculous, and against everything I am, everything I stand for, and every word I have written. Now if someone is posting when obviously drunk or whacked out, I think they should be called on it. But that's another matter entirely.

Sorry, Joe, for continuing the hijack. But I felt compelled to log in and set the record straight.

Seriously, what utter and unnecessary bullshit.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Joe K

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #75 on: March 04, 2011, 12:14:55 PM »
Sorry, Joe, for continuing the hijack. But I felt compelled to log in and set the record straight.

No apology needed. There are apologies due, but not from you.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #76 on: March 04, 2011, 03:13:35 PM »
You know, you could have asked me, in private or in public, if I was referring to you. I was most assuredly not.

You're absolutely right, I fucked up here.

Skeebo, if you saw yourself in that comment, that's your issue. It was not directed at you in any way whatsoever. You have been on this board long enough to know that is not the way I roll.

It's the implication that I am some how using you guys that got to me.  As of right now, it's a mute point because I went overboard here by taking this personal.  I wish I had contacted you via PM to get clarification.  While I had thought about it, I had really convinced myself that it would not be private.  It's only because I have witnessed you mention other posters contacting you privately before in instances of disagreement.  Please don't misunderstand what I am saying as pointing out something nefarious about you because I am not.  It's just something I have witnessed in the past.  Pointing this out simply means I once again came to an ill-fated conclusion.

Yep, I fucked up all the way around on this one.

That "others" agree with you and Hellraiser and Leather that I am capable of such a vicious personal attack is not only ludicrous, but it is also very telling of the behind-the-scenes activities via PM that have caused people to attack people, myself included, without provocation. A simple query to ME via PM would have resolved that, rather than assuming it was about a member with whom I have had mostly amicable conversations with, up until now.

While I often have seen mention of a slander campaign publicly on the forums, this is something many here know I frown upon highly.  I've pulled away from people because of this and it is something I would never endorse.  I've received many supportive PM's, but nothing encouraging this mind you.  That's all I want to say about them because  I don't like to discuss what people tell me privately ever....  but trust no one PM'ed supporting this.  This is of my own doing.

I've been very angry at myself lately and I think it has shown in this display that I am incapable of thinking clearly right now.  I have no idea why, but when the shit hits the fan I seemingly fall apart and I am really scared.   it's no excuse however, and I know this.   I hate when others have acted this way and should hold myself to the same standard.

Jonathan and Joe, I'm not going to sugarcoat it with a bunch of excuses anymore, I apologize to both of you.   

This thread had been hijacked by myself enough and I don't want anyone to lend a shoulder to cry on because of what I've mentioned here.  Simply put, I am an adult and need to act line one right now.

I am sorry to everyone else I've offended during my unraveling here.

Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Joe K

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #77 on: March 04, 2011, 03:20:04 PM »
This thread had been hijacked by myself enough and I don't want anyone to lend a shoulder to cry on because of what I've mentioned here.  Simply put, I am an adult and need to act line one right now.

You just acted like a mature person and thank you for that heartfelt apology. Even when you fuck up, it does not mean that we are not here for you... if you need us.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #78 on: March 04, 2011, 03:42:05 PM »
here's a link to the elusive referenced comment that Skeebo used in discussing how there seems to be some animosity lately from part of the "LTS crowd" towards the newer diagnosed. Since Joe seemed to be speaking for that same group in this thread, Skeebo did not accuse Joe of disliking straights; but asked if he held the same opinion as the member he quoted.
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=36617.msg455446#msg455446

Personally, I don't think this was the best thread to debate this issue (even if it does seem to be yet another thread in a series about the idea of looking for the good in life after having gotten HIV - which some newer members initially termed as finding the good from having gotten HIV); but I do agree with Skeebo that there is a problem of rudeness that is shown towards many new members and the newer diagnosed

I don't recall anyone asking you to provide the link, the question was put to skeebo, but you had to get involved didn't you, or maybe you think Skeebo can't do it on his own.

Quote
but I do agree with Skeebo that there is a problem of rudeness that is shown towards many new members and the newer diagnosed

How sad the new members will never see the real you, you are arrogant and full of self importance....and I think I have found the Cabal you and your "fans" keep talking about.

Skeebo..I don't know what gotten into you, but I personally have never seen you this far off base, I always saw you as one of the good guys who could pack a punch but never one that would hurt so much.

Joe..Kepp going  and don't let the bastards grind you down.

I'm out of here, when I joined 8 years ago this was the best place to come to for support...not so much now.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #79 on: March 04, 2011, 03:50:09 PM »
You just acted like a mature person and thank you for that heartfelt apology. Even when you fuck up, it does not mean that we are not here for you... if you need us.

Tomas, I'm glad your here with us, and I do hope that you continue to stick around, you have a incredible open mind on a lot of things, and that is what we all love about you, I can say things to you joking around
with homo erotica overtones, that most men like you would ran for the hills, but you don't, again I love you
man  ;), but I think you already know this  :)  oh and Tomas....is it 4:20 yet, I'm jonesn' here  ;D
« Last Edit: March 04, 2011, 04:10:58 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #80 on: March 04, 2011, 04:11:31 PM »
I can only say, what little positive attitude I have these days should really be called survival mode.   I admit I have to put HIV on the backburner sometimes because I have this little thing called life pushing me to worry about other things.  Whether it's my impending separation from my wife or my daughter losing her baby the day before yesterday I can't stop.   As bad as I want to fall apart in all this, HIV included....  I just simply can't. 

Simply put, whether it's HIV, divorce, death, or my dog running away...  I have to still wake up and punch in on time. 

I ask everyone to read this part of Skeebo's post, because I caught it the first time and that is why I never jumped down his throat. I think what he needs now is some unconditional love, because face it, these rants were not from the Tom we all know and love. We all know stress can cause us to do strange things. If we didn't know him, we could blow it off, but we do and he matters... now more than ever.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #81 on: March 04, 2011, 04:44:42 PM »
I don't recall anyone asking you to provide the link, the question was put to skeebo, but you had to get involved didn't you, or maybe you think Skeebo can't do it on his own.

I'm out of here, when I joined 8 years ago this was the best place to come to for support...not so much now.
I'm sorry you didn't like my intrusion into this thread, but I don't really much care for you meddling in it either. But you know what? I don't care. I'm allowed to chat here just as much as you, no matter how much you dislike me - which of course, is clearly evidenced by the way you constantly go out of your way (like posting what you did in this thread) to attack me. My opinions and experiences are just as valid as anyone else's and I have just as much right to speak about them and to "get involved" by joining into any discussion that I choose. Last I checked you aren't a moderator and you have no right to tell me which threads I can and cannot post in.

Before you start on some tirade about getting involved anyway, you should take really notice of your own actions of jumping into threads to help/defend those that you call your friends. I can't count the amount of times I have had a disagreement with one of your friends here and suddenly you've intruded into the problem to put in your two cents on their behalf.

I'll agree with you on one point though. I think there isn't as much support around here as there used to be. Coming into this already problematic thread and spewing your bitchiness at me really shows what your character is like and doesn't offer anyone any support. Matter of fact it shows that the very lack of support you're complaining about is partially YOUR fault.

Of course, I figured out months and months ago that you hate me, and I'm sure by now you must realize, because of your actions and words, that I dislike you too; so I would kindly ask that you leave me the hell alone, like I have been leaving you alone.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #82 on: March 04, 2011, 05:02:19 PM »
Mike, come on now you know that isn't true, nobody in this forum hates you, if anything, I admire your activism and getting involved in your own state's ADAP rallies, to me that says a great deal about your
character, also you & I have lost 2 BF's to AIDS, and we have that in common with each other, we both know how hard that is, to loose someone that close to you, it saddens me, that you feel this way, I love you too MIke, and I enjoy what you bring to the table in these forums, not everyone will always agree on certain things in this forum, and you know this  :)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #83 on: March 04, 2011, 05:12:59 PM »
Thank you for the clarification, Thomas. Apology accepted. Condolences on your loss.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline anniebc

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #84 on: March 04, 2011, 07:21:47 PM »
Thomas, I'm so sorry about what is going on in your life right now..life can suck sometimes, keep your strength up, I know you will get throught this.

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Offline Dachshund

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #85 on: March 05, 2011, 12:41:56 AM »


I'll agree with you on one point though. I think there isn't as much support around here as there used to be. Coming into this already problematic thread and spewing your bitchiness at me really shows what your character is like and doesn't offer anyone any support. Matter of fact it shows that the very lack of support you're complaining about is partially YOUR fault.



You really are a piece of work. You entered into this thread for no other reason than to denigrate Joe, and you know it. It also gave you the opportunity to lob one of your patented pussy passive-aggressive swipes using Skeebo as cover. Your prolific PM's trashing other forum members are legend. Talk about support. Before you start attacking other folks character you might want to take a look in the mirror.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #86 on: March 05, 2011, 12:49:38 AM »
You really are a piece of work. You entered into this thread for no other reason than to denigrate Joe, and you know it. It also gave you the opportunity to lob one of your patented pussy passive-aggressive swipes using Skeebo as cover. Your prolific PM's trashing other forum members are legend. Talk about support. Before you start attacking other folks character you might want to take a look in the mirror.

Odious, isn't it?

MtD

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #87 on: March 05, 2011, 01:18:09 AM »
I think it is always a good idea to think about what someone may be going through at the time they post--unless they are just always hostile and always looking for a fight.    

About reading more into statements than intended:  There have been several times when folks read more into something a member has said than was intended or even stated.  I've seen some (some) quick to label those people as racist, a bigot, a misogynist, disrespectful, hateful, etc.  I think about a recent member who posted he couldn't find any decent (in his opinion) HIV poz women on the personals forums.  Many took offense immediately thinking he was talking about women in this forum, when it was clear he was talking about the personals forums.  Many were ready to jump on it without asking for clarification.  He was sharing his experience with the poz women he had run into on the personals.  He wasn't saying all poz women weren't disirable--just the ones he so happened to run into on a particular personals site or sites.  But, some took what he said very personal as if he were saying it to them or a friend.  Maybe those who took offense so quickly were going through a rough time that day and that explains why they took his comments so personally.  So, it is always good to consider someone is just having a bad day, who exactly are they referring to, whether they said something that didn't come out right, or whether it did come out right, but weren't painting everyone with the same brush and weren't targeting an entire group out of hate or malice.    

Now, I know bringing stuff from other threads into another is frowned upon, but I didn't know how to do it without referencing an example.  I'm afraid now that what I just said will be taken as saying everyone here does this, the forums are bad, etc.          

Offline leatherman

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #88 on: March 05, 2011, 01:22:18 AM »
You entered into this thread for no other reason than to denigrate Joe,
how in the world does Jan and I having a spat have anything to do with Joe? Joe hasn't made one comment towards me and I haven't made one negative comment towards him or anything he said. He and I have had disagreements in the past and have chosen to not engage one another so there wouldn't be any further disputes.

the only comment that I've made that might be construed to have anything to do with Joe or his thread is the comment that this seems to be "another thread in a series about the idea of looking for the good in life after having gotten HIV" - and that really is how it started off.

I can't count the amount of times I have had a disagreement with one of your friends here and suddenly you've intruded into the problem to put in your two cents on their behalf.
I'm not surprised to see you and Matty jumping in here for the exact reason I gave to Jan.  ::)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #89 on: March 05, 2011, 02:48:25 AM »
I think it is always a good idea to think about what someone may be going through at the time they post--unless they are just always hostile and always looking for a fight.    

About reading more into statements than intended:  There have been several times when folks read more into something a member has said than was intended or even stated.  I've seen some (some) quick to label those people as racist, a bigot, a misogynist, disrespectful, hateful, etc.  I think about a recent member who posted he couldn't find any decent (in his opinion) HIV poz women on the personals forums.  Many took offense immediately thinking he was talking about women in this forum, when it was clear he was talking about the personals forums.  Many were ready to jump on it without asking for clarification.  He was sharing his experience with the poz women he had run into on the personals.  He wasn't saying all poz women weren't disirable--just the ones he so happened to run into on a particular personals site or sites.  But, some took what he said very personal as if he were saying it to them or a friend.  Maybe those who took offense so quickly were going through a rough time that day and that explains why they took his comments so personally.  So, it is always good to consider someone is just having a bad day, who exactly are they referring to, whether they said something that didn't come out right, or whether it did come out right, but weren't painting everyone with the same brush and weren't targeting an entire group out of hate or malice.    

Now, I know bringing stuff from other threads into another is frowned upon, but I didn't know how to do it without referencing an example.  I'm afraid now that what I just said will be taken as saying everyone here does this, the forums are bad, etc.          

Still butt-hurt eh?

Deal with it. :-*

MtD

Offline BT65

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #90 on: March 05, 2011, 05:04:48 AM »
how in the world does Jan and I having a spat have anything to do with Joe? Joe hasn't made one comment towards me and I haven't made one negative comment towards him or anything he said. He and I have had disagreements in the past and have chosen to not engage one another so there wouldn't be any further disputes.

You jumped in and posted that link to stir the pot, that's quite obvious.  You like to attempt to dash people in round-about ways that you think no one will call you on.  And you really had no right to go on a tirade with Jan.  She was only pointing out your failure at attempting to throw darts without seeming to.  You had offered no contribution to this thread until you posted that link.  Come on, come out with the real reason you did it.  Some of us already know.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #91 on: March 05, 2011, 05:23:32 AM »
You people are all old enough to know better than to publicly embarrass yourselves in this fashion.  This is the most juvenile bickering I've yet to see on these forums and frankly I've seen a lot of really puerile bullshit, but I have to say this takes the cake.  I'm not exempting anyone from this statement: Grow up.

Offline Wagner

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #92 on: March 05, 2011, 05:40:58 AM »
Hellraiser is bang on the money. 


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #93 on: March 05, 2011, 05:52:31 AM »
You people are all old enough to know better than to publicly embarrass yourselves in this fashion.  This is the most juvenile bickering I've yet to see on these forums and frankly I've seen a lot of really puerile bullshit, but I have to say this takes the cake.  I'm not exempting anyone from this statement: Grow up.

Aw gee Mr Hellraiser, you're right. It grieves a body to know that we've disappointed someone of your bearing and dignity. :(

Thank golly gosh we've got someone like you who's all wise and compassionate and tolerant and shit to set an example for the rest of us assholes.

I telll ya what, I'm going to go back through your posting history and dwell on your every word to see how I can improve myself because I just live for the Holy Word of Trey.

And if I find someting really fucking special I'll be sure to post here for the rest of the Community to enjoy. :)

MtD


Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #94 on: March 05, 2011, 05:53:04 AM »
It involves asking one very simple question: Who’s in control, HIV or you?

I would like to think that it 'tis I so far'.  The whole HIV thing has caused my life to take a new direction for sure.  Although my health is good at this point in time, who really knows what the impact of Atripla (or any other drug new/old) will be on my body 10 years from now?  

Offline Wagner

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #95 on: March 05, 2011, 07:26:32 AM »
You've got nothing better to do?

Offline mecch

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #96 on: March 05, 2011, 08:27:21 AM »
I vote for reactivation of the IGNORE function soon.  Some ingredients just cant be mixed to create a nourishing meal.

Skeebo, wow sounds like a heavy load these days.  I hear what you are saying about having to still get up and go to work.

That's sorta what I posted about, about money's role in this.

I always remember that its good to have a job - for more than money - cause it shapes a lot of my day to day reality - work life, responsiblities, etc etc, its good to have one world counterbalancing the other especially when one is going to hell.  

When my studies, relationship AND job were all caught in whirlpools, at the same time, I had a breakdown, I had thin and weak threads of "control" at that point.  Within months serocoverted.  

I wonder how much we can heal with an admittedly "lite" buddhist perspective combined with some therapy and some wisdom, getting older.  

Here's some free podcasts from Tara Brach that are useful enough - for getting some mindfulness and equanimity about all this push and shove that distresses us.
http://www.tarabrach.com/audioarchives2011.html

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline denb45

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #97 on: March 05, 2011, 09:14:22 AM »
I vote for reactivation of the IGNORE function soon.  Some ingredients just cant be mixed to create a nourishing meal.


What ever for, we don't need an Ignore button I find it interesting when everyone one needs to work out their shit on each other, heck this is better then "One Life to live"  "General Hospital"  or that UK one called
'EastEnders"  :D :D :D :D
« Last Edit: March 05, 2011, 09:32:47 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #98 on: March 05, 2011, 10:21:53 AM »
You people are all old enough to know better than to publicly embarrass yourselves in this fashion.  This is the most juvenile bickering I've yet to see on these forums and frankly I've seen a lot of really puerile bullshit, but I have to say this takes the cake.  I'm not exempting anyone from this statement: Grow up.

Speaking of puerile bullshit, I notice your contribution to the juvenile bickering. Don't you ever come into one of my threads and start stirring the pot by making blanket statements about every poster. Many folks in this thread added real contributions, as opposed to you just stopping by for a quick flamebait. Your comments are meant as insults and insults only to the posters here and while you may get away with it, in other threads, it is not going to happen here.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Who’s In Control?
« Reply #99 on: March 05, 2011, 10:30:10 AM »
You had offered no contribution to this thread until you posted that link.  Come on, come out with the real reason you did it.
since one of my standard quotes is "google is my friend" and since everyone seemed to not be able to work the search function here, I provided a link. All one had to do was search for "backdoor sex" and there was only one post. It seemed everyone was ready to bash Skeebo, but no one wanted to do the legwork to even find out what he was talking about.

and yes, I still think a lot of newer members tend to get jumped on when they "mis-speak" about something in the first part of their tenure here. So someone is looking for a "blessing in disguise" or a "positive positive thread", is that really a reason to rip into them? Or is that an opening for a teaching moment? God knows, just like this thread, it's all about the underlying ability to have a positive attitude to be able to emotionally and mentally deal with being HIV positive. So finally after several failed and locked threads, it was turning into a teachable moment. (well it was trying to be a teachable moment before going off the rails several times now. ;) sigh)

as for having the spat with Jan, just like she asked about me stepping in for Skeebo, don't you think she's a big girl and should be able to handle her own battles? Why are you or the others, who have not contributed previously in this thread, stepping in now, just to fight with another member? Pot meet the Kettle. I get so tired of one of you (mainly Matty, Dach, Jan or Betty) starting some flame war with me and then the rest of you bullies jumping into the fight. I know you fucking hate me and I hate y'all too. What just kills me and show what bullies y'all are is that I never start any of this shit. One of you is always the first to comment to me and then the others follow.

Yes, take a long look through the posting histories and then a long look in your own mirror. It is always one of y'all that starts this shit. I have followed Ann and Tim's advice to me and I never even make "nice" comments in the threads y'all start or are involved in. The only time I ever have any interaction with y'all is once y'all start something.

Personally, I have just as many rights as y'all to believe what I what about what happens around here and that doesn't make any of us wrong. It just means that you have your opinions and I have mine. I believe, and so do others, that there are bullies here and newer members are often mistreated. I just don't understand why I can withhold comment on the shit that y'all spew out sometimes and give you the right to your comments and experiences, but y'all will not afford me those same rights.

everyone one needs to work out their shit on each other,
fuck I don't need to work out any shit with anyone. I've had AIDS for 20 yrs and I'm working my ass off at my ASO doing prevention and education to try to keep others from going down this same path. I actually deal with the newer diagnosed people and understand when they are looking for the light at the end of the tunnel that's going to get them through the next 20 years. I don't need my friends here to jump in like a gang and bully others whom I don't agree with because we know how fucking rude, un-supportive, and hateful that is.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


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