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REQUEST: Jokes and funny stories please...someone, anyone!

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Am in dire need of a good laugh!

A tired and grumpy Melia >:(

A husband and wife, both 75 years old, go see a doctor.

The doctor says: "Sir, I'll need some samples from you. Urine, stool, semen."

The husband turns to his wife and asks: "What? How am I going to give all that!!??"

The wife says: "Just give him your underwear"

Quarter Horse:
Well, I may get a backlash.......but who gives a damn.

A woman goes to her Doctor and says " I am really nervous about something Dr." "What has you so upset Mrs Jones?" the doctor asks.

"My husband has been wanting me to have anal sex ever since he retired last month."

The doctor asks "Is the thought of anal sex frightening for you Mrs Jones?"

"I am afraid I might get pregnant, can you get pregnant from anal sex doctor"

"Of course you can" the doctor says, "Where do you think republicans come from?!"



Thanks guys!

Anymore for anymore???

A traveler is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway.
Nothing is moving.
He notices a few men walking down the shoulder, when
suddenly a man knocks on his window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's
"Terrorists have kidnapped President Bush and are
asking for a $10 billion ransom -
otherwise they are going to douse him with gasoline
and set him on fire.

We're going from car to car to take up a collection."

The driver asks, "On the average, how much is everyone

"About a gallon."



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