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Author Topic: Saying good bye to my best friend.....  (Read 2830 times)

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Offline ds4146

  • Member
  • Posts: 317
Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« on: January 30, 2011, 09:39:11 PM »
This has been one of the most difficult weekends I have experienced in a very long time. I thought that two years ago this coming May when my sister died was difficult, and then one year ago this January when my nephew passed were going to take the cake, however I don't think I was really prepared for this.

After nearly seventeen years my best friend passed on Friday. She was my dog Jezzabel, the most loving, forgiving, supportive, best friend in the world. She was especially great when I first found out that I was Poz and has been key in getting me out for our daily walks and coffees. Up until this past weekend we were still doing our twice daily with her being adored by all for her stunning looks, she was a black beauty with a white cross on her chest and half moon brows that she would roll to her advantage, what a doll! And if I could f….ing figure out how to post a fucking image you would know, but it doesn’t really matter, she was a beauty to me.  The Help section sucks! Could be me or my frame of mind, LOL! No, it sucks!
I will miss our walks and the wonderful, unconditional love and support that she has given throughout the years.  Personally I think she probably has posted previously, or would have posted this in  “Someone I Care About Has HIV”!  
Safe trip with love!
« Last Edit: January 30, 2011, 09:42:22 PM by ds4146 »

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,282
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2011, 09:44:00 PM »
Sorry about your Jezebel buddy. Please post a pic, would love to see her. One of the pic pros will be along in a minute to give you good directions (as I would jsut screw it up)

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,956
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2011, 10:17:34 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear this, I know how sad you must be feeling, I dread the day I have to say goodbye to my Bordercollie babies...there are quite a few animals lovers here who will be feeling your pain.

{{{hugs}}}
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,649
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2011, 12:49:50 AM »
my deepest sympathies.   When I lost my best friend/caregiver/dog I was heartbroken.  He stayed with me many long and dark days and nights and he's still in my heat as Jezebel will always be with you.

robert
..........

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,707
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2011, 12:55:23 AM »



   I'm sorry to hear the loss of your beloved friend.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,086
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2011, 01:46:23 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss.  Man, I wish they would live longer than they do.  Seventeen years is pretty good, but not nearly enough.  My brother's dog just passed.  She had lymphoma.  My brother spent thousands of dollars on her care.  And, she did go on to live several more years.  But, the cancer got the better of her.  I was baby-sitting her when it happened.  My brother had been out of town.  I noticed she just wasn't acting right.  I could also feel the extremely swollen lymph nodes in her neck.  She collapsed in my back yard, peed while laying down, and finally got enough strength to come back inside.  I called my brother and I was crying.  I knew this was not going to turn out good.  He finally made it home in time to visit her in the animal ER.  They kept trying to get him to put her to sleep, but he couldn't make that decision.  He told them to just give her plenty of meds to keep her out of pain.  She finally went later that night. 

My oldest dog is now 15.  She seems to be in good health, besides her hip problems.  She can barely get around now.  We have to carry her up the stairs and outside.  She has been my best friend since I got her in 1996.  She would go everywhere with me.  I'm going to need serious therapy when she passes.  I have a picture from 1996 where I was leaving to go to work.  Well, she wasn't having that.  She jumped up on the car's hood and onto the roof.  Granted I had a small car at that time, but still amazing.  The pic is so funny of her sitting on top of the roof.  I'll have to post that pic here someday.

Again, my deepest sympathies. 

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,878
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2011, 10:07:48 AM »
My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend.  I wish I had words to help the pain go away, but maybe the following will bring you some solace.

A DOG'S PRAYER
By Beth Norman Harris

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footsteps fall upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements.  And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.  Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.  Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health, do not turn me away from you.  Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest--and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,502
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2011, 10:27:23 AM »
Its tough when we have to say goodbye.  Please accept my most sincere condolences. 

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,752
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2011, 02:09:34 PM »
So sorry for your loss.  My last dog lived for 17 years and I have my current one for 10.  Don't even want to think about her passing some day.  She has been my greatest support through all my illnesses and the loss of my Bill.  Perhaps you'll be lucky enough to have another adopt you soon.
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,054
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2011, 07:24:33 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your friend.

Offline ds4146

  • Member
  • Posts: 317
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2011, 09:07:42 PM »
Thank you Leatherman!

[imhttp://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l560/justforfun1959/Jezz1.jpgg][/img]

Hope this works!


Offline ds4146

  • Member
  • Posts: 317
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2011, 09:10:06 PM »
And one more because I know how and I can!


Offline leatherman

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  • Posts: 6,341
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2011, 09:40:37 PM »
And one more because I know how and I can!
what a sweet little baby!
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,956
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2011, 11:21:16 PM »
Thank you for sharing Jezzabel with us, she is a beautiful lady.

In sadness
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2011, 10:10:50 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss, but what a cutie!  I can empathize with you, as our favorite cat (though I hate to say I prefer one over the others) had to be put down a year ago this week.  It's tough, it never gets easier, and I still miss her / them.  Somehow, certain animals seem to have the ability to connect with us, to sense when we're in need.  I could be pissed at the world, and Bobbi would jump up in my lap, put her paws on my chest, and look at me.  She always seemed to understand me.  I know Jezzabel was the same to you. 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Tim Horn

  • Member
  • Posts: 799
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2011, 11:41:39 AM »
Very sweet photos, ds -- a beautiful girl indeed. My dogs mean the world to me and it only seems to get harder each time one passes. They truly provide companionship and joy like no others and, like others here, I've never been able to fully wrap my head around the fact that they are taken from us so quickly.

All my best to you during this painful time.

Tim

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,647
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2011, 11:51:27 AM »
I am truly sorry for your loss, and I totally understand your feelings.   My schnauzer is part of the reason I am still here.   When I had a home nursing visit, she did it with me.  When I took a pentamidine treatment, she was by my side.   Why I was confined to a chair all day and basically couldn't get up without help, she was in my lap.

Our pets are truly miracles in our lives.
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,187
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2011, 01:03:38 PM »
 :'(
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

TRIUMEQ - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE - PRAVASTATIN - CIALIS


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline SteveInToronto

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #18 on: February 16, 2011, 05:33:18 PM »
My thoughts are with you, DS... I lost my best friend, Marty, last year and it was the worst time of my entire life. I still think about him every day and tell him I love him when I see his photo on my desk. Our babies are so important to our well being, and I feel the pain in your message. Jezzabel was a beautiful girl.

Steve

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,844
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #19 on: February 16, 2011, 09:27:34 PM »
Sorry ds for the loss of your beloved Jezzabel, she brought much joy to you in, as Tim points out, her relatively little time here on earth.  Be well.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline poz1970

  • Member
  • Posts: 480
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2011, 10:02:03 AM »
My deepest condolences for the loss of your companion, your baby ...

**** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug **** **** hug ****

Jim

"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to  heterosexuals. That doesn`t mean that God doesn`t love heterosexuals. It`s just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavne

Offline randym431

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,125
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2011, 03:37:08 AM »
My deepest sympathy. I know how hard this is. We just lost our American Eskimo Spike, 14 year old, last Wednesday. In all we had some 10 Eskimo's over the many years. I love that breed of dog. Spike was the daddy of 5 of our pups. i remember when Spike and our Snow had their first two. I thought, well four dogs isn't really too many. Then before i could get Spike fixed, they had three more. What a family! My mother once said "you should sell some of the dogs". I was like "yeah.. I bet you would have sold us kids too". You cannot sell your kids, furry kids or not.

We got Spike as a pup in 1997. I just came across VHS tapes of Spike when we had just got him home. Spike was running all around the back yard. Like a little lightening bolt. He was so happy. It was like he knew the wonderful life that was ahead of him in our care. Spike was pretty old with hearing loss and bad vision when he passed. He stopped eating Tuesday, and went suddenly the next night. I was content he died at home at peace in his sleep and not at some vet hospital.

Watching the VCR tapes of Spike as a pup made me think how these wonderful companions come into our life, share years and years together, then we see them leave our life. Thats the hard part. Very hard.
I seen you posted a picture of Jezzabel as a pup. So I know how remembering back all those years as they grew up is hard. And hard to believe time passes so fast. How these furry blessings come into our life, and one day leave.
We are never ready for that loss. Never.

I could go on and on about Spike and how much loved of a friend he was. But that post would go one forever.
I try to remember two things. Two things I truly believe in.
One... To be thankful they came into our life.
Two... To believe one day we will be reunited when our time comes to leave this world.
And a third... Just how wonderful our life and this world is, that we could (for a short time) share our love with our furry beloved friend(s).

Take care... Randy

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 10,107
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #22 on: February 20, 2011, 05:20:26 AM »
Ds, I am so sorry for your loss.  I am a true animal lover, and I know how much love and joy pets can bring.  I hope your pain is lessened with all your wonderful memories. :'(
  L-
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline ds4146

  • Member
  • Posts: 317
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #23 on: February 22, 2011, 09:38:14 AM »
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and messages! Truly! Best wishes!

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,326
  • His name is Carl.
Re: Saying good bye to my best friend.....
« Reply #24 on: February 22, 2011, 10:41:41 AM »
She was a true beauty.  My condolences.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

 


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