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Author Topic: A positive, positive thread  (Read 17860 times)

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Offline littleprince

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A positive, positive thread
« on: February 18, 2011, 03:48:32 AM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

Dot points appreciated. You don't have to explain it. It can be light hearted or something more profound. There are 1000's of people out there living happy, healthy lives. I'm sure some positively amazing things have happened to them that they can share, particularly with he newly dx.



- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2011, 05:53:22 AM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

Dot points appreciated. You don't have to explain it. It can be light hearted or something more profound. There are 1000's of people out there living happy, healthy lives. I'm sure some positively amazing things have happened to them that they can share, particularly with he newly dx.



- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.


Just finished one of those AIDS Council volunteer facilitator courses have we? Good for you son. :)

Now let's see, some positive things what have happened to me since my diagnosis . . .

    Well my fucking idiot of an ex-boyfriend got hit by a car after he moved to Melbourne a couple of years back. Not seriously injured, but then you can't have everything, can you?

    Joined this forum, that was pretty good. Whenever I feel a bit down I pop in here and see what's going on with Teddy and suddenly I feel a lot better because things could be so much fucking worse really, couldn't they?

    Watching people freak out because of the AIDS snot when you sneeze without covering your nose. That always makes me laugh like a drain. ;D

    Jerry Falwell dying. Particularly good day that one. Didn't exactly happen to me but still it set me up for a whole week of cheerfulness.

That pretty much covers it, I think.

MtD

/edit: tyop/
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 06:02:19 AM by Matty the Damned »

Offline surf18

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2011, 08:07:33 AM »
i guess i now appreciate the simple things more. like i enjoyed the christmas season like never before. i was more relaxed and took it all in. the whole experience. same with my vacations since dx.
im more calm.not so much a freak over little things anymore as if you can deal with this anything else is small potatoes.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2011, 08:13:53 AM »
My positive HIV moment is when the infectious disease specialist tells you to get your affairs in order, file for disability, that living 5 years is "completely unrealistic" and then you don't die. I just love it when that happens!

Offline thunter34

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2011, 10:46:34 AM »
I get to experience threads like this one.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline woodshere

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2011, 11:12:55 AM »
This June for the 4th year I will be a volunteer for AIDS LifeCycle.  If I were not poz I would never have had and continue to have this amazing experience.

Oh and one other positive about being poz, sex is WAYYYY better!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2011, 11:16:18 AM »
    I got to travel around the country with a performing group after high school (well that's also because I was diagnosed with HIV my senior year of high school 26 years ago, and was told I was going to die. So I decided to abandon my hopes of going to college)

   When I was dancing professionally, I had a perfect dancer's body at one point (but that was also due to wasting and eventually PCP)

    I work with people with severe language problems and because of AIDS I actually got first-hand experience with how it was to have a stroke as well as bells palsy (well I'm also now experience some cortical blindness issues but I'm hoping that will look good on my resume as well as experience in chosen career)

Oh yeah I got to have an incredible experience backpacking out into the desert in Utah with partner about 5 years ago (well he was also in a box in my backpack)


 there ya go

  

Offline thunter34

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2011, 11:20:08 AM »
Sharkie is right.  Jenny Craig ain't got nothin' on wasting when it comes to a queer boy's figure.

My jeans have never fit just so  as they did when my T-cells were plunging.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2011, 11:54:57 AM »
Let's see... several things spring to mind.  Why just today I pranced over to the post office to pick up my annual Valentines Day care package from my mother.  And what, pray tell, does this fierce woman send me every year even at the age of 46?  Heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink 7-minute frosting on top (pictures available upon request).

Also, previous to the closure of the Soho Vivienne Westwood store in 2001 I had attained the status of VIP customer, gaining entree to the private pre-sales each season.  This made me a very, very happy homosexual.

I also have an extensive collection of soccer socks which I wear during anonymous internet sex.  You'd be surprised how happening a scene this is locally.

Oh, and then there was that week with Luis Alberto Reyes Bourgos in the Dominican highlands -- we went horse riding too (pictures available upon request).
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 11:57:10 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline NycJoe

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2011, 12:12:10 PM »
Hmmm.  Something positive.  Well for one I have been treating my body much better than I use to.  I exercise, take supplements, monitor my bp (totally regulated now and in fact am down from 2 pills to 1). So there you go..something positive.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2011, 12:18:22 PM »
This is like swimming with sharks and chumming the water.  I mean you really should've seen this coming, prince.

Offline woodshere

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2011, 12:29:56 PM »
 Heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink 7-minute frosting on top (pictures available upon request).


My great grandmother made that, one of my favorites!! I'll take pictures of that for the memories and pictures of the other for fantasy!
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 02:12:33 PM by woodshere »
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2011, 12:38:50 PM »
I am closer to my family, they actually COME DOWN TO TEXAS to visit me...

I enjoy things like sunshine and warm weather...

I appreciate life...

Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2011, 12:45:55 PM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

With all due respect, there will never be anything good that comes from being poz. Never! Ever! That being said, why don't you just ask about the good things that happen in members lives? The problem with threads like this, is the requirement that something "good" must have come from being poz and I just don't see it. HIV is a stinking virus, that if given the chance, will surely kill you. I see nothing good in that reality. However, if we remove HIV from the equation, the idea that good things simply happen takes hold and there is no confusion.

I have had amazing things happen to me in the past 26 years and none of them had anything to do with HIV, they had to do with ME. I am not HIV, nor is HIV me.

This is like swimming with sharks and chumming the water.  I mean you really should've seen this coming, prince.

Exactly how is your comment meant to contribute to this thread? Please keep your flamebaiting to yourself.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 12:52:10 PM by killfoile »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2011, 12:54:22 PM »
I cannot for the life of me understand how it is empowering to manufacture positive thoughts about a virus whose costs and stigma continue to stagger the mind. I really don't.

This is as insulting as asking if there was an upside to my Dad's death. I got through it, if not exactly past, but Christ. Is there an upside to a miscarriage? Is there an upside to poverty? Rape?

And Hellraiser, the humor you see from folks on this thread, unless I am mistaken, is because they have the same reaction as I did. We get through by our dark humor, but the serious reaction - and the understandable one - is to simply be aghast at the notion that having HIV can in any way be construed as being a good thing.

And for the folks who talk about it making them seize the day, better themselves, treat their bodies and spirits and friends better, I raise an eyebrow. You mean all that was impossible without HIV? You mean that without this virus actively aging your mitochondrial DNA you would have never grown, personally?

Seriously?

Either that is bullshit or everything you have become post-infection is predicated on a terrible lie.

I am more or less the same person I was pre-HIV, though admittedly a bit/lot older, arguably wiser, and a bit/lot more cynical. But I have fantastic friends, am enjoying decent health for the moment. I have pets who worship me, and my days fill themselves.

Would I be a different person without HIV? Absolutely. A better person? Someone hop into the parallel universes and let me know, because I have no way of doing that, at least not on purpose.

But all that I am, all that I have constructively become as a direct result of having HIV, I would like to think I would have become without it.

The notion that this vile thing has a silver lining is a joke blacker than the darkest humor even Matty or Philly can muster up.

I understand that this need to validate it comes from fear. I really do. But fear can be deadly. Fear often masquerades as courage, in a whole "whistling through the graveyard" sorta way. But courage comes not from denying where you are, or the seriousness of the situation. It comes from just doing the next right thing whenever possible. Minimizing the impact of HIV does not cause it's consequences to go away. It might make us feel better in the moment, but it also leaves us unprepared for a virus that, thanks to marketing, we have collectively come to disrespect. And we do so at our own, individual peril.

It is knowing that, dealing with it, and moving through it that makes us stronger. Or breaks us into a zillion pieces. Or both, over time.  But that understanding and that courage is NOT a by-product of the virus we contain. It is a direct product of the human spirit - which is flawed, often foolish, sometimes reckless and rageful, but continuing to develop and evolve until the day we die.

I have a friend in the medical field who just tested positive. Never thought he would, but there you go. Four months into getting a plum job working with kids, he now lives with a Sword of Damocles over his head, because the instant a jealous ex informs his employer, or the parents of one of his patients, he is done in the industry. It is not right, nor fair, nor legal. But it happens every day.

Attributing positive thoughts and courage and determination to the virus is an insult. We respond with humor in the (often vain) hope that you will see the baffled anger at such an impolite notion.

Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise.

Smoke-Blowing-Up-One's-Ass should be an experience found in religion. When we start doing that with HIV, we risk social, financial, and ultimately physical death. I am really just astonished that we are having this discussion.

HIV does not singularly define me, nor do I give it the power to "change" me against my will or perceived destiny into another person. I change because I change, I grow because I grow. I love and laugh because I do.

I do.

Not thanks to HIV. It has been my experience over the years that people who try the hardest to minimize the impact HIV has over their lives end up experiencing the worst manifestations of it.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2011, 01:41:40 PM »


   Because of being diagnosed I got to visit a county health department for the first time ever, which was pretty cool.  They have these doors that secretly lead you to the parking lot in case you can't hide the tears.   I guess, I had some sense of pleasure knowing it was my tax paying dollars that enabled someone to come up with this idea... you know, having a backdoor on the building.

   

   
   
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Buckmark

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2011, 02:26:31 PM »
Meeting a lot of great people here on these forums is about the only positive thing I can think of which is directly related to me being HIV+. 

I'm still fascinated with the effort that so many folks have in trying to find the good in HIV. 

Oh, and I want a heart-shaped sugar cookie with pink frosting!  :'(

Henry




"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2011, 02:47:05 PM »
@jkinatl2...Wow! You done?

"Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise."

I have not mistaken people seeing upsides with enjoying this virus, it's clear you have. The prism of "truth" that you see the virus through is NOT the same prism everyone else see's it through. This disease is personal for everyone who has it. WE HAVE IT TOO! You are not the lone wolf and your way is not THE ONLY WAY to see this and thank God it's not!

Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline surf18

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2011, 02:51:39 PM »
good post drew.
yes i lay in bed every night longing for my old life back and drool over how great it d be to have no real worries again.and how i would appreciate that so much.
well that aint my life right now. it will be again someday soon when this shit is cured but until then i can do two things
i can live in a misery self abusing myself and have hate and spread hate and just want to die
or i can
take my meds ,come here and read other people going tru what i go tru and i can change my life perspective and if it took this shit to chill me out and enjoy some things a little i ll take that.
but no i dont think anyone that posted in this thread is happy they have this or dont take it seriously. i simply wont allow myself to live in such a hateful dark place.i could go either way and thus far im doing my damnest to stay on the right side of the pendeulum.
thanks again drew your post was uplifting.

Offline mecch

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2011, 02:56:19 PM »
Discovered "buddhism lite" with self-help tapes.  A lot of it is very insightful and some of it has really helped me living day to day. 

Also stop to smell the roses much more than before diagnosis.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2011, 02:58:22 PM »
Discovered "buddhism lite" with self-help tapes.  A lot of it is very insightful and some of it has really helped me living day to day. 

Also I stop to smell the roses much more than before diagnosis.

(Also - bareback casual sex with other HIV+ guys.  Anyone want to go there...? Or will that send this thread to hell.)
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2011, 03:02:24 PM »
I find it disheartening when folks insist on HIV having some mystical power, as if it could compel you to do anything. If you want to talk about positive changes in your life or outlook, those changes came from you and not any virus. This is all some of us are saying. HIV is simply a virus, nothing more. It does not think, reason or feel, however we, as human beings do. I am the first to celebrate when the newly infected become more secure in their view of the world, but HIV had nothing to do with those changes. Those changes came about, because of the person involved and to me, that is what is worth celebrating.

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2011, 03:05:46 PM »
I am much more careful about bareback now. Doc doesn't want to be dealing with any variations of this bug so I keep it to a minimum. FF is nice though...
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2011, 03:13:03 PM »
I find it disheartening when folks insist on HIV having some mystical power, as if it could compel you to do anything. If you want to talk about positive changes in your life or outlook, those changes came from you and not any virus. This is all some of us are saying. HIV is simply a virus, nothing more. It does not think, reason or feel, however we, as human beings do. I am the first to celebrate when the newly infected become more secure in their view of the world, but HIV had nothing to do with those changes. Those changes came about, because of the person involved and to me, that is what is worth celebrating.

This is closer in my line of thinking. Thanks for posting. I am not celebrating this virus, it's a mean, evil, nasty bitch but it only has the power that I give it. I don't let it define me. It was, and is, a life-changing experience and it's probably my great outlook on life BEFORE I was dxd that is carrying me now. I am managing HIV/AIDS, it is NOT managing me and I refuse to be dragged down into the pit's of hell and misery over it. Yes...it's BAD...it's TERRIBLE...it's NASTY but I'll be damned if it's going to change who I am.

I don't see it as a blessing, blessing in disguise or any misguided thought that having it is a good thing...it's not. In the same breath, however, to not celebrate my victories over it as something POSITIVE is ludicrous. SCREW HIV/AIDS...I am HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND AT THE MOMENT, IT'S NO BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline mpositive

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2011, 03:27:39 PM »
Though I can't speak for anyone but myself, I am sure each one of us would prefer to not have HIV to begin with.  However, in that light, I believe that every tragedy and/or major crisis in a person's life brings with it some sort of enlightenment.  What that enlightenment is for that particular person, is theirs.  That is the positive in my opinion.  Is it better to not have to have this at all, most certainly.

I have certainly been a lot less stressed about the little things.  even something as major as me losing everything I built in the past 25 years, meant so much less.  So I guess stopping to appreciate the smaller things in life has certainly been important to me now.

Also, I got to meet, at least online, you folks.  Each and everyone of you are incredibly important to me.  Those that I agree with and that I don't.  You all bring so much to the table and have helped enrich my life. 

I think the OP is right on for posting this.
M

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2011, 03:40:01 PM »
Exactly how is your comment meant to contribute to this thread? Please keep your flamebaiting to yourself.

Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2011, 03:51:40 PM »
Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

You chastising others for making snarky comments is just too precious, darling. People who live in glass houses should fist fuck in the basement. Unless exhibitionism is their thing in which case I suppose it's alright . . . .

Quote
As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Fark! Which self-help brochure do you copy this shit from? ::)

MtD

Online Dachshund

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2011, 04:00:15 PM »
Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Hate to disagree with you doll, but your post was just one more patented passive aggressive swipe and Joe called you out.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2011, 04:08:38 PM »
You chastising others for making snarky comments is just too precious, darling. People who live in glass houses should fist fuck in the basement. Unless exhibitionism is their thing in which case I suppose it's alright . . . .

Fark! Which self-help brochure do you copy this shit from? ::)

MtD

I never claimed to be innocent of it myself, but it just seemed like the way the other 2 threads had already been derailed he was practically asking for it.  Sure enough it didn't take any time for people to chime in with the same sorts of commentary.

It's not a brochure, it's just the way I feel.  Has my life changed for the better?  Not really, but I definitely cleaned up my act post diagnosis.  I was personally kind of meandering and instead of blissfully ignoring the remaining years of my life however numerous they may be I'm putting a lot more energy into actually enjoying them.  Trying to argue someone down who was just asking if anyone had had any sort of positive impact in their life since diagnosis is just...well it's kind of mean.

This is something that we are all forced to now live with, simply giving up in defeat that nothing has changed except my sero-status and my eventual health complications is just not the way I function.  Y'all can freely commiserate, but it's just not my schtick.

Offline woodshere

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2011, 04:20:04 PM »
@jkinatl2...Wow! You done?

"Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise."

I have not mistaken people seeing upsides with enjoying this virus, it's clear you have. The prism of "truth" that you see the virus through is NOT the same prism everyone else see's it through. This disease is personal for everyone who has it. WE HAVE IT TOO! You are not the lone wolf and your way is not THE ONLY WAY to see this and thank God it's not!



drewm, I encourage you to read again Jonathan's post and then do it again.  I have read the entire post and parts of it 6-7 times and each time something else is revealed.  I found what he wrote to be extremely eloquent and poignant. And talk about being positive and uplifting:

.....Would I be a different person without HIV? Absolutely. A better person? Someone hop into the parallel universes and let me know, because I have no way of doing that, at least not on purpose.

But all that I am, all that I have constructively become as a direct result of having HIV, I would like to think I would have become without it.......

.....HIV does not singularly define me, nor do I give it the power to "change" me against my will or perceived destiny into another person. I change because I change, I grow because I grow. I love and laugh because I do.

I do. ....

As far as your no big deal comment...flamebait for sure


"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2011, 04:39:01 PM »
Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Wow, you got all the above from a simple question? Amazing. In case you missed it, my ENTIRE POINT is that personal growth comes from the person, not from HIV. I have never said anything remotely close to your comments above and I defy you to post anything that I have ever written that says the contrary.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2011, 04:42:01 PM »
I never claimed to be innocent of it myself, but it just seemed like the way the other 2 threads had already been derailed he was practically asking for it.  Sure enough it didn't take any time for people to chime in with the same sorts of commentary.

You should check out a thing called the Clean Hands doctrine.

Quote
It's not a brochure, it's just the way I feel.  Has my life changed for the better?  Not really, but I definitely cleaned up my act post diagnosis.  I was personally kind of meandering and instead of blissfully ignoring the remaining years of my life however numerous they may be I'm putting a lot more energy into actually enjoying them.  Trying to argue someone down who was just asking if anyone had had any sort of positive impact in their life since diagnosis is just...well it's kind of mean.

This is something that we are all forced to now live with, simply giving up in defeat that nothing has changed except my sero-status and my eventual health complications is just not the way I function.  Y'all can freely commiserate, but it's just not my schtick.

This is precisely the sort of piss-anting that gets you smacked in the head with such tedious frequency. You verbal people. You ascribe to people things that they did not actually say as part of your continuing low-wattage campaign to paint us all as bastards.

Sure some folks can look at having HIV as a force for good in their lives but a lot of us don't see it that way. It's the irritating "we must all be cheerful in the face of adversity" attitude that seems to abound amongst a certain percentage of the recently diagnosed.

To an extent I can understand it. Getting HIV is a bad thing and people feel the need to salvage something from the wreck and adopting an attitude that "HIV was my rock bottom" is how they do that.

Well I think that's a whole load of shit, moreover I don't think it's a particularly constructive way to approach the virus. A goodly proportion of other experienced Fivers seem to agree with me and we're gonna give voice to that view.

And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit.

MtD

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2011, 05:33:06 PM »
"And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit."

Yall were right about one thing, there is a lack of civility on here that is palpable. I am sure as hell glad a lot of you are just a delete button away. Damn!

"And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit."

Now THAT is some funny shit! ROFLMFAO! :D

Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2011, 05:35:32 PM »
"A goodly proportion of other experienced Fivers seem to agree with me and we're gonna give voice to that view."

It's a "view" MTD, it doesn't make you right or even wrong it just makes you human like the rest of us.
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2011, 05:37:21 PM »
@MTD "People who live in glass houses should fist fuck in the basement. Unless exhibitionism is their thing in which case I suppose it's alright . . . ."

We agree on this  ;D
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2011, 07:11:08 PM »
@jkinatl2...Wow! You done?

"Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise."

I have not mistaken people seeing upsides with enjoying this virus, it's clear you have. The prism of "truth" that you see the virus through is NOT the same prism everyone else see's it through. This disease is personal for everyone who has it. WE HAVE IT TOO! You are not the lone wolf and your way is not THE ONLY WAY to see this and thank God it's not!



It is clear you did not understand the intent nor the tone of my post.  Had you asked for clarification instead of attacking it and me, I would have gladly been of whatever assistance that I could. To summarize, Joe and I are on absolutely the same page about this, for the same reasons.

As for your comments about Matty, I daresay that if you opt to pull the "ignore" plug (when available) on the likes of him, you will be removing from your experience a man whose instincts and knowledge regarding HIV, its medications, its implications, are almost always uncanny in their accuracy.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2011, 07:17:48 PM »
@jkinatl2 It is a bit hard to discern someone's "tone" across the digital landscape. I'm not attacking you, I don't know you. What I am commenting on are comments made by people that are attacked by others because they do not agree.

As for MTD, I am sure he and I will disagree on things from time to time but I rarely pull the plug based on one comment. I certainly did not pull it on you because, although we may disagree in part, I find wisdom in what you say and value your experience and viewpoint. Life is not what I see through my rose-glass prism, it is our collective experiences and emotions that make this all too real.

I suspect that where the rubber hits the road, we are closer on these issues than our emotions sometimes allow for.
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2011, 08:49:52 PM »
FF is nice though...

::looks at button on remote control::
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline tednlou2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2011, 11:04:21 PM »
Just finished one of those AIDS Council volunteer facilitator courses have we? Good for you son. :)

Now let's see, some positive things what have happened to me since my diagnosis . . .

    Joined this forum, that was pretty good. Whenever I feel a bit down I pop in here and see what's going on with Teddy and suddenly I feel a lot better because things could be so much fucking worse really, couldn't they?

    /edit: tyop/
Hey, what did I do?  And, I was just making flight arrangements to come crash on your couch for a month.  And, for you to teach me the ways of the force.

As for the OP... I can only think of becoming more educated and concerned with those with illnesses and lack of or no access to healthcare as the only positive thing that has come from having an illness myself.  However, I could and should have become educated and more concerned regardless.  I have written letters and emails to congressmen and state officials about ADAP and healthcare.  I've donated money to causes--not anything huge, but what I could afford.  I take that back, I could actually afford more.  Still got to work on being more generous.  I've really not given that much in terms of what I could have.  There have been many unflattering things said about Keith Olbermann.  Some justified.  However, he did raise a lot of money on his show to fund health clinics in different cities.  He had said that some of those were diagnosed with HIV at the clinics.  So, I feel my modest donations helped in some way.  Not tooting my own horn in any way, because I know I could do more instead of buying things I don't need.  I could and need to donate my time.  I think I will as I become more at peace with my status.  But, just saying HIV has caused me to think of others, even if just a little right now, that I may not have otherwise.  But, again, I would have hoped I would think of others more as I grow older regardless of HIV.    [/list]

Offline littleprince

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2011, 12:59:39 AM »
Wow, we almost got there people. Then some had to go and take a big dump right in the middle of the thread.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2011, 01:09:05 AM »
Wow, we almost got there people. Then some had to go and take a big dump right in the middle of the thread.



What were you soliciting, exactly?

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #41 on: February 19, 2011, 01:19:45 AM »
Wow, we almost got there people. Then some had to go and take a big dump right in the middle of the thread.

Sorry Miss. You won't keep us behind will you? I've got cricket training this afternoon and if I miss it I won't make the district b grade.  :-\

MtD

Offline kellybryana

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #42 on: February 19, 2011, 01:24:50 AM »
yeah man, for real sauce. I feel like I may have inadvertently sparked this thread, which is awesome, so I feel like I need to respond...

I agree with killfoilie that the virus itself sucks. However, I don't feel like its productive to sit and argue the logistics of the question. You find out who you are in the face of adversity, and being diagnosed with something like HIV is a paradigm shift for anyone. I personally am a newly diagnosed HIV+ person, so I may have a view from behind rose colored lenses, and a better prognosis than LTSers had in the beginning, but my opinion still counts!

since being diagnosed...

-I do not stress over anything. I have come to understand that my psychology is a big part of my overall health, and stress is very physically and emotionally draining and downright bad for me. I refuse to stress too much over anything.

-I live each day to the fullest, and I enjoy my life more.

-I have told SEVERAL people about my status, and I have found nothing but love and acceptance, and actually, I have had several people tell me that I inspire them with how I am dealing with this hardship.

-I value my relationships with people, and I make sure that I nourish and enrich each one as best I can.

-I feel that I have a better view of what really matters in life and I don't get mad about things that really, in the long run, are small and insignificant.

-I have a new hunger to study religion and spirituality and to find what is right for me and what I believe.

-I have more motivation to achieve and succeed...and win!

-I feel more love and acceptance for humanity. Everyone has problems, and everyone deals with them in different ways. I used to be very judgmental, HIV has stripped that from me. I now realize that anything can happen to anyone, and everyone has their set of tools that they have acquired in their life in order to deal with their problems.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #43 on: February 19, 2011, 01:33:54 AM »
So, Littleprince, whose agenda finally reveals. You yourself said:

Quote
- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.


So you would not have respected yourself without getting HIV?

You would not have gotten reconciled with your mom?

A free flu shot?

HIV alone caused this? Was and is and will be worth this?

My point, and the point of those who "dumped" on this thread, was that if you or anyone thinks that HIV alone was uniquely responsible for your personal growth, and that these benefits would not have come at any other cost, or at any other time, then I submit that you have read (or likely, skimmed) much that deserves real, adult consideration.

You have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

I, however, have grown, evolved, even matured. May we all do the same, virus or no virus.

Again, the things you mention, aside from the flu shot, you could have - and should have achieved through maturity, personal reflection, and the advent of time.

The flu shot? I would gladly pay the 25 bucks for it.

And no, this is no LTS rant. Newly infected people endure career crippling stigma (which, ironically, ends with financial problems and difficulty/impossibility of obtaining meds). They are rejected out of hand for friendship or love. They are disallowed the usual process of maturation, and many do not survive.

You have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy.

What you have done is shit on the few serious, thoughtful responses you have obtained from myself and others who were actually trying to give you a chance to clarify. The "dumping" you witness was of your own doing.

I regret posting my real thoughts and feelings on this forum, and not for the first time.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline kellybryana

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2011, 01:50:23 AM »
so then don't do it.

MY point is that the diagnosis of HIV sparks a paradigm shift. Some see the good that comes from bad. Some only see bad.

I don't remember who it was, but someone's signature really struck a note with me, and I pose the question to you...

"Is your status the only thing about you that is still positive?"

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2011, 01:51:41 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #46 on: February 19, 2011, 01:52:46 AM »
so then don't do it.

MY point is that the diagnosis of HIV sparks a paradigm shift. Some see the good that comes from bad. Some only see bad.

I don't remember who it was, but someone's signature really struck a note with me, and I pose the question to you...

"Is your status the only thing about you that is still positive?"

A-MEN
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #47 on: February 19, 2011, 01:54:03 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.


I am sorry you feel that way. I make no apologies for my perceived tine or my words. You want to call me bitter? How about taking the outrageous effort to get to know me?

I am certainly giving YOU another chance, after a few rather personal attacks.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #48 on: February 19, 2011, 01:55:08 AM »
so then don't do it.

MY point is that the diagnosis of HIV sparks a paradigm shift. Some see the good that comes from bad. Some only see bad.

I don't remember who it was, but someone's signature really struck a note with me, and I pose the question to you...

"Is your status the only thing about you that is still positive?"

Like I told Drewm, take the time to get to know the people you seem to dismiss, simply because they do not give HIV the power of positive transformation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Online Jeff G

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #49 on: February 19, 2011, 01:56:33 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.


Its all in the way you want to see it I suppose . I see JK post as a sensitive and insightful one .  

 


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