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Author Topic: A positive, positive thread  (Read 16217 times)

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Offline littleprince

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A positive, positive thread
« on: February 18, 2011, 03:48:32 AM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

Dot points appreciated. You don't have to explain it. It can be light hearted or something more profound. There are 1000's of people out there living happy, healthy lives. I'm sure some positively amazing things have happened to them that they can share, particularly with he newly dx.



- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2011, 05:53:22 AM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

Dot points appreciated. You don't have to explain it. It can be light hearted or something more profound. There are 1000's of people out there living happy, healthy lives. I'm sure some positively amazing things have happened to them that they can share, particularly with he newly dx.



- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.


Just finished one of those AIDS Council volunteer facilitator courses have we? Good for you son. :)

Now let's see, some positive things what have happened to me since my diagnosis . . .

    Well my fucking idiot of an ex-boyfriend got hit by a car after he moved to Melbourne a couple of years back. Not seriously injured, but then you can't have everything, can you?

    Joined this forum, that was pretty good. Whenever I feel a bit down I pop in here and see what's going on with Teddy and suddenly I feel a lot better because things could be so much fucking worse really, couldn't they?

    Watching people freak out because of the AIDS snot when you sneeze without covering your nose. That always makes me laugh like a drain. ;D

    Jerry Falwell dying. Particularly good day that one. Didn't exactly happen to me but still it set me up for a whole week of cheerfulness.

That pretty much covers it, I think.

MtD

/edit: tyop/
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 06:02:19 AM by Matty the Damned »

Offline surf18

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2011, 08:07:33 AM »
i guess i now appreciate the simple things more. like i enjoyed the christmas season like never before. i was more relaxed and took it all in. the whole experience. same with my vacations since dx.
im more calm.not so much a freak over little things anymore as if you can deal with this anything else is small potatoes.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2011, 08:13:53 AM »
My positive HIV moment is when the infectious disease specialist tells you to get your affairs in order, file for disability, that living 5 years is "completely unrealistic" and then you don't die. I just love it when that happens!

Offline thunter34

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2011, 10:46:34 AM »
I get to experience threads like this one.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline woodshere

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2011, 11:12:55 AM »
This June for the 4th year I will be a volunteer for AIDS LifeCycle.  If I were not poz I would never have had and continue to have this amazing experience.

Oh and one other positive about being poz, sex is WAYYYY better!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2011, 11:16:18 AM »
    I got to travel around the country with a performing group after high school (well that's also because I was diagnosed with HIV my senior year of high school 26 years ago, and was told I was going to die. So I decided to abandon my hopes of going to college)

   When I was dancing professionally, I had a perfect dancer's body at one point (but that was also due to wasting and eventually PCP)

    I work with people with severe language problems and because of AIDS I actually got first-hand experience with how it was to have a stroke as well as bells palsy (well I'm also now experience some cortical blindness issues but I'm hoping that will look good on my resume as well as experience in chosen career)

Oh yeah I got to have an incredible experience backpacking out into the desert in Utah with partner about 5 years ago (well he was also in a box in my backpack)


 there ya go

  

Offline thunter34

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2011, 11:20:08 AM »
Sharkie is right.  Jenny Craig ain't got nothin' on wasting when it comes to a queer boy's figure.

My jeans have never fit just so  as they did when my T-cells were plunging.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2011, 11:54:57 AM »
Let's see... several things spring to mind.  Why just today I pranced over to the post office to pick up my annual Valentines Day care package from my mother.  And what, pray tell, does this fierce woman send me every year even at the age of 46?  Heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink 7-minute frosting on top (pictures available upon request).

Also, previous to the closure of the Soho Vivienne Westwood store in 2001 I had attained the status of VIP customer, gaining entree to the private pre-sales each season.  This made me a very, very happy homosexual.

I also have an extensive collection of soccer socks which I wear during anonymous internet sex.  You'd be surprised how happening a scene this is locally.

Oh, and then there was that week with Luis Alberto Reyes Bourgos in the Dominican highlands -- we went horse riding too (pictures available upon request).
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 11:57:10 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline NycJoe

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2011, 12:12:10 PM »
Hmmm.  Something positive.  Well for one I have been treating my body much better than I use to.  I exercise, take supplements, monitor my bp (totally regulated now and in fact am down from 2 pills to 1). So there you go..something positive.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2011, 12:18:22 PM »
This is like swimming with sharks and chumming the water.  I mean you really should've seen this coming, prince.

Offline woodshere

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2011, 12:29:56 PM »
 Heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink 7-minute frosting on top (pictures available upon request).


My great grandmother made that, one of my favorites!! I'll take pictures of that for the memories and pictures of the other for fantasy!
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 02:12:33 PM by woodshere »
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2011, 12:38:50 PM »
I am closer to my family, they actually COME DOWN TO TEXAS to visit me...

I enjoy things like sunshine and warm weather...

I appreciate life...

MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2011, 12:45:55 PM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

With all due respect, there will never be anything good that comes from being poz. Never! Ever! That being said, why don't you just ask about the good things that happen in members lives? The problem with threads like this, is the requirement that something "good" must have come from being poz and I just don't see it. HIV is a stinking virus, that if given the chance, will surely kill you. I see nothing good in that reality. However, if we remove HIV from the equation, the idea that good things simply happen takes hold and there is no confusion.

I have had amazing things happen to me in the past 26 years and none of them had anything to do with HIV, they had to do with ME. I am not HIV, nor is HIV me.

This is like swimming with sharks and chumming the water.  I mean you really should've seen this coming, prince.

Exactly how is your comment meant to contribute to this thread? Please keep your flamebaiting to yourself.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 12:52:10 PM by killfoile »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2011, 12:54:22 PM »
I cannot for the life of me understand how it is empowering to manufacture positive thoughts about a virus whose costs and stigma continue to stagger the mind. I really don't.

This is as insulting as asking if there was an upside to my Dad's death. I got through it, if not exactly past, but Christ. Is there an upside to a miscarriage? Is there an upside to poverty? Rape?

And Hellraiser, the humor you see from folks on this thread, unless I am mistaken, is because they have the same reaction as I did. We get through by our dark humor, but the serious reaction - and the understandable one - is to simply be aghast at the notion that having HIV can in any way be construed as being a good thing.

And for the folks who talk about it making them seize the day, better themselves, treat their bodies and spirits and friends better, I raise an eyebrow. You mean all that was impossible without HIV? You mean that without this virus actively aging your mitochondrial DNA you would have never grown, personally?

Seriously?

Either that is bullshit or everything you have become post-infection is predicated on a terrible lie.

I am more or less the same person I was pre-HIV, though admittedly a bit/lot older, arguably wiser, and a bit/lot more cynical. But I have fantastic friends, am enjoying decent health for the moment. I have pets who worship me, and my days fill themselves.

Would I be a different person without HIV? Absolutely. A better person? Someone hop into the parallel universes and let me know, because I have no way of doing that, at least not on purpose.

But all that I am, all that I have constructively become as a direct result of having HIV, I would like to think I would have become without it.

The notion that this vile thing has a silver lining is a joke blacker than the darkest humor even Matty or Philly can muster up.

I understand that this need to validate it comes from fear. I really do. But fear can be deadly. Fear often masquerades as courage, in a whole "whistling through the graveyard" sorta way. But courage comes not from denying where you are, or the seriousness of the situation. It comes from just doing the next right thing whenever possible. Minimizing the impact of HIV does not cause it's consequences to go away. It might make us feel better in the moment, but it also leaves us unprepared for a virus that, thanks to marketing, we have collectively come to disrespect. And we do so at our own, individual peril.

It is knowing that, dealing with it, and moving through it that makes us stronger. Or breaks us into a zillion pieces. Or both, over time.  But that understanding and that courage is NOT a by-product of the virus we contain. It is a direct product of the human spirit - which is flawed, often foolish, sometimes reckless and rageful, but continuing to develop and evolve until the day we die.

I have a friend in the medical field who just tested positive. Never thought he would, but there you go. Four months into getting a plum job working with kids, he now lives with a Sword of Damocles over his head, because the instant a jealous ex informs his employer, or the parents of one of his patients, he is done in the industry. It is not right, nor fair, nor legal. But it happens every day.

Attributing positive thoughts and courage and determination to the virus is an insult. We respond with humor in the (often vain) hope that you will see the baffled anger at such an impolite notion.

Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise.

Smoke-Blowing-Up-One's-Ass should be an experience found in religion. When we start doing that with HIV, we risk social, financial, and ultimately physical death. I am really just astonished that we are having this discussion.

HIV does not singularly define me, nor do I give it the power to "change" me against my will or perceived destiny into another person. I change because I change, I grow because I grow. I love and laugh because I do.

I do.

Not thanks to HIV. It has been my experience over the years that people who try the hardest to minimize the impact HIV has over their lives end up experiencing the worst manifestations of it.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2011, 01:41:40 PM »


   Because of being diagnosed I got to visit a county health department for the first time ever, which was pretty cool.  They have these doors that secretly lead you to the parking lot in case you can't hide the tears.   I guess, I had some sense of pleasure knowing it was my tax paying dollars that enabled someone to come up with this idea... you know, having a backdoor on the building.

   

   
   
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Buckmark

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2011, 02:26:31 PM »
Meeting a lot of great people here on these forums is about the only positive thing I can think of which is directly related to me being HIV+. 

I'm still fascinated with the effort that so many folks have in trying to find the good in HIV. 

Oh, and I want a heart-shaped sugar cookie with pink frosting!  :'(

Henry




"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2011, 02:47:05 PM »
@jkinatl2...Wow! You done?

"Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise."

I have not mistaken people seeing upsides with enjoying this virus, it's clear you have. The prism of "truth" that you see the virus through is NOT the same prism everyone else see's it through. This disease is personal for everyone who has it. WE HAVE IT TOO! You are not the lone wolf and your way is not THE ONLY WAY to see this and thank God it's not!

MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline surf18

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2011, 02:51:39 PM »
good post drew.
yes i lay in bed every night longing for my old life back and drool over how great it d be to have no real worries again.and how i would appreciate that so much.
well that aint my life right now. it will be again someday soon when this shit is cured but until then i can do two things
i can live in a misery self abusing myself and have hate and spread hate and just want to die
or i can
take my meds ,come here and read other people going tru what i go tru and i can change my life perspective and if it took this shit to chill me out and enjoy some things a little i ll take that.
but no i dont think anyone that posted in this thread is happy they have this or dont take it seriously. i simply wont allow myself to live in such a hateful dark place.i could go either way and thus far im doing my damnest to stay on the right side of the pendeulum.
thanks again drew your post was uplifting.

Offline mecch

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2011, 02:56:19 PM »
Discovered "buddhism lite" with self-help tapes.  A lot of it is very insightful and some of it has really helped me living day to day. 

Also stop to smell the roses much more than before diagnosis.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2011, 02:58:22 PM »
Discovered "buddhism lite" with self-help tapes.  A lot of it is very insightful and some of it has really helped me living day to day. 

Also I stop to smell the roses much more than before diagnosis.

(Also - bareback casual sex with other HIV+ guys.  Anyone want to go there...? Or will that send this thread to hell.)
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2011, 03:02:24 PM »
I find it disheartening when folks insist on HIV having some mystical power, as if it could compel you to do anything. If you want to talk about positive changes in your life or outlook, those changes came from you and not any virus. This is all some of us are saying. HIV is simply a virus, nothing more. It does not think, reason or feel, however we, as human beings do. I am the first to celebrate when the newly infected become more secure in their view of the world, but HIV had nothing to do with those changes. Those changes came about, because of the person involved and to me, that is what is worth celebrating.

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2011, 03:05:46 PM »
I am much more careful about bareback now. Doc doesn't want to be dealing with any variations of this bug so I keep it to a minimum. FF is nice though...
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2011, 03:13:03 PM »
I find it disheartening when folks insist on HIV having some mystical power, as if it could compel you to do anything. If you want to talk about positive changes in your life or outlook, those changes came from you and not any virus. This is all some of us are saying. HIV is simply a virus, nothing more. It does not think, reason or feel, however we, as human beings do. I am the first to celebrate when the newly infected become more secure in their view of the world, but HIV had nothing to do with those changes. Those changes came about, because of the person involved and to me, that is what is worth celebrating.

This is closer in my line of thinking. Thanks for posting. I am not celebrating this virus, it's a mean, evil, nasty bitch but it only has the power that I give it. I don't let it define me. It was, and is, a life-changing experience and it's probably my great outlook on life BEFORE I was dxd that is carrying me now. I am managing HIV/AIDS, it is NOT managing me and I refuse to be dragged down into the pit's of hell and misery over it. Yes...it's BAD...it's TERRIBLE...it's NASTY but I'll be damned if it's going to change who I am.

I don't see it as a blessing, blessing in disguise or any misguided thought that having it is a good thing...it's not. In the same breath, however, to not celebrate my victories over it as something POSITIVE is ludicrous. SCREW HIV/AIDS...I am HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND AT THE MOMENT, IT'S NO BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline mpositive

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2011, 03:27:39 PM »
Though I can't speak for anyone but myself, I am sure each one of us would prefer to not have HIV to begin with.  However, in that light, I believe that every tragedy and/or major crisis in a person's life brings with it some sort of enlightenment.  What that enlightenment is for that particular person, is theirs.  That is the positive in my opinion.  Is it better to not have to have this at all, most certainly.

I have certainly been a lot less stressed about the little things.  even something as major as me losing everything I built in the past 25 years, meant so much less.  So I guess stopping to appreciate the smaller things in life has certainly been important to me now.

Also, I got to meet, at least online, you folks.  Each and everyone of you are incredibly important to me.  Those that I agree with and that I don't.  You all bring so much to the table and have helped enrich my life. 

I think the OP is right on for posting this.
M

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2011, 03:40:01 PM »
Exactly how is your comment meant to contribute to this thread? Please keep your flamebaiting to yourself.

Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2011, 03:51:40 PM »
Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

You chastising others for making snarky comments is just too precious, darling. People who live in glass houses should fist fuck in the basement. Unless exhibitionism is their thing in which case I suppose it's alright . . . .

Quote
As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Fark! Which self-help brochure do you copy this shit from? ::)

MtD

Online Dachshund

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2011, 04:00:15 PM »
Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Hate to disagree with you doll, but your post was just one more patented passive aggressive swipe and Joe called you out.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2011, 04:08:38 PM »
You chastising others for making snarky comments is just too precious, darling. People who live in glass houses should fist fuck in the basement. Unless exhibitionism is their thing in which case I suppose it's alright . . . .

Fark! Which self-help brochure do you copy this shit from? ::)

MtD

I never claimed to be innocent of it myself, but it just seemed like the way the other 2 threads had already been derailed he was practically asking for it.  Sure enough it didn't take any time for people to chime in with the same sorts of commentary.

It's not a brochure, it's just the way I feel.  Has my life changed for the better?  Not really, but I definitely cleaned up my act post diagnosis.  I was personally kind of meandering and instead of blissfully ignoring the remaining years of my life however numerous they may be I'm putting a lot more energy into actually enjoying them.  Trying to argue someone down who was just asking if anyone had had any sort of positive impact in their life since diagnosis is just...well it's kind of mean.

This is something that we are all forced to now live with, simply giving up in defeat that nothing has changed except my sero-status and my eventual health complications is just not the way I function.  Y'all can freely commiserate, but it's just not my schtick.

Offline woodshere

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2011, 04:20:04 PM »
@jkinatl2...Wow! You done?

"Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise."

I have not mistaken people seeing upsides with enjoying this virus, it's clear you have. The prism of "truth" that you see the virus through is NOT the same prism everyone else see's it through. This disease is personal for everyone who has it. WE HAVE IT TOO! You are not the lone wolf and your way is not THE ONLY WAY to see this and thank God it's not!



drewm, I encourage you to read again Jonathan's post and then do it again.  I have read the entire post and parts of it 6-7 times and each time something else is revealed.  I found what he wrote to be extremely eloquent and poignant. And talk about being positive and uplifting:

.....Would I be a different person without HIV? Absolutely. A better person? Someone hop into the parallel universes and let me know, because I have no way of doing that, at least not on purpose.

But all that I am, all that I have constructively become as a direct result of having HIV, I would like to think I would have become without it.......

.....HIV does not singularly define me, nor do I give it the power to "change" me against my will or perceived destiny into another person. I change because I change, I grow because I grow. I love and laugh because I do.

I do. ....

As far as your no big deal comment...flamebait for sure


"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2011, 04:39:01 PM »
Joe, I'm not sure what your problem with me is, but get over it.  The guy asked if anything positive has happened in people's lives and people posted snarky sarcastic things instead of the intended purpose of the thread.  I personally didn't need to be clairvoyant to know that was coming.

As for your PERSONAL feeling that being infected with a virus has 0 positive impact in people's lives you are entitled to your opinion.  However, some people become very reflective on the way they are living their lives and begin to live with a new intensity and purpose as their mortality is driven home by their diagnosis.  If you don't like it so be it, but stop trying to be the authority on what other people think and feel as a result of their diagnosis.

Wow, you got all the above from a simple question? Amazing. In case you missed it, my ENTIRE POINT is that personal growth comes from the person, not from HIV. I have never said anything remotely close to your comments above and I defy you to post anything that I have ever written that says the contrary.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2011, 04:42:01 PM »
I never claimed to be innocent of it myself, but it just seemed like the way the other 2 threads had already been derailed he was practically asking for it.  Sure enough it didn't take any time for people to chime in with the same sorts of commentary.

You should check out a thing called the Clean Hands doctrine.

Quote
It's not a brochure, it's just the way I feel.  Has my life changed for the better?  Not really, but I definitely cleaned up my act post diagnosis.  I was personally kind of meandering and instead of blissfully ignoring the remaining years of my life however numerous they may be I'm putting a lot more energy into actually enjoying them.  Trying to argue someone down who was just asking if anyone had had any sort of positive impact in their life since diagnosis is just...well it's kind of mean.

This is something that we are all forced to now live with, simply giving up in defeat that nothing has changed except my sero-status and my eventual health complications is just not the way I function.  Y'all can freely commiserate, but it's just not my schtick.

This is precisely the sort of piss-anting that gets you smacked in the head with such tedious frequency. You verbal people. You ascribe to people things that they did not actually say as part of your continuing low-wattage campaign to paint us all as bastards.

Sure some folks can look at having HIV as a force for good in their lives but a lot of us don't see it that way. It's the irritating "we must all be cheerful in the face of adversity" attitude that seems to abound amongst a certain percentage of the recently diagnosed.

To an extent I can understand it. Getting HIV is a bad thing and people feel the need to salvage something from the wreck and adopting an attitude that "HIV was my rock bottom" is how they do that.

Well I think that's a whole load of shit, moreover I don't think it's a particularly constructive way to approach the virus. A goodly proportion of other experienced Fivers seem to agree with me and we're gonna give voice to that view.

And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit.

MtD

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2011, 05:33:06 PM »
"And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit."

Yall were right about one thing, there is a lack of civility on here that is palpable. I am sure as hell glad a lot of you are just a delete button away. Damn!

"And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit."

Now THAT is some funny shit! ROFLMFAO! :D

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Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2011, 05:35:32 PM »
"A goodly proportion of other experienced Fivers seem to agree with me and we're gonna give voice to that view."

It's a "view" MTD, it doesn't make you right or even wrong it just makes you human like the rest of us.
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Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2011, 05:37:21 PM »
@MTD "People who live in glass houses should fist fuck in the basement. Unless exhibitionism is their thing in which case I suppose it's alright . . . ."

We agree on this  ;D
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Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2011, 07:11:08 PM »
@jkinatl2...Wow! You done?

"Do not come to AIDSMEDS looking to enjoy your virus, or be grateful for it. Come here for honest, truthful, sincere experiences from people who seriously know their shit, both scientifically and otherwise."

I have not mistaken people seeing upsides with enjoying this virus, it's clear you have. The prism of "truth" that you see the virus through is NOT the same prism everyone else see's it through. This disease is personal for everyone who has it. WE HAVE IT TOO! You are not the lone wolf and your way is not THE ONLY WAY to see this and thank God it's not!



It is clear you did not understand the intent nor the tone of my post.  Had you asked for clarification instead of attacking it and me, I would have gladly been of whatever assistance that I could. To summarize, Joe and I are on absolutely the same page about this, for the same reasons.

As for your comments about Matty, I daresay that if you opt to pull the "ignore" plug (when available) on the likes of him, you will be removing from your experience a man whose instincts and knowledge regarding HIV, its medications, its implications, are almost always uncanny in their accuracy.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

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Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2011, 07:17:48 PM »
@jkinatl2 It is a bit hard to discern someone's "tone" across the digital landscape. I'm not attacking you, I don't know you. What I am commenting on are comments made by people that are attacked by others because they do not agree.

As for MTD, I am sure he and I will disagree on things from time to time but I rarely pull the plug based on one comment. I certainly did not pull it on you because, although we may disagree in part, I find wisdom in what you say and value your experience and viewpoint. Life is not what I see through my rose-glass prism, it is our collective experiences and emotions that make this all too real.

I suspect that where the rubber hits the road, we are closer on these issues than our emotions sometimes allow for.
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2011, 08:49:52 PM »
FF is nice though...

::looks at button on remote control::
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Offline tednlou2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2011, 11:04:21 PM »
Just finished one of those AIDS Council volunteer facilitator courses have we? Good for you son. :)

Now let's see, some positive things what have happened to me since my diagnosis . . .

    Joined this forum, that was pretty good. Whenever I feel a bit down I pop in here and see what's going on with Teddy and suddenly I feel a lot better because things could be so much fucking worse really, couldn't they?

    /edit: tyop/
Hey, what did I do?  And, I was just making flight arrangements to come crash on your couch for a month.  And, for you to teach me the ways of the force.

As for the OP... I can only think of becoming more educated and concerned with those with illnesses and lack of or no access to healthcare as the only positive thing that has come from having an illness myself.  However, I could and should have become educated and more concerned regardless.  I have written letters and emails to congressmen and state officials about ADAP and healthcare.  I've donated money to causes--not anything huge, but what I could afford.  I take that back, I could actually afford more.  Still got to work on being more generous.  I've really not given that much in terms of what I could have.  There have been many unflattering things said about Keith Olbermann.  Some justified.  However, he did raise a lot of money on his show to fund health clinics in different cities.  He had said that some of those were diagnosed with HIV at the clinics.  So, I feel my modest donations helped in some way.  Not tooting my own horn in any way, because I know I could do more instead of buying things I don't need.  I could and need to donate my time.  I think I will as I become more at peace with my status.  But, just saying HIV has caused me to think of others, even if just a little right now, that I may not have otherwise.  But, again, I would have hoped I would think of others more as I grow older regardless of HIV.    [/list]

Offline littleprince

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2011, 12:59:39 AM »
Wow, we almost got there people. Then some had to go and take a big dump right in the middle of the thread.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2011, 01:09:05 AM »
Wow, we almost got there people. Then some had to go and take a big dump right in the middle of the thread.



What were you soliciting, exactly?

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #41 on: February 19, 2011, 01:19:45 AM »
Wow, we almost got there people. Then some had to go and take a big dump right in the middle of the thread.

Sorry Miss. You won't keep us behind will you? I've got cricket training this afternoon and if I miss it I won't make the district b grade.  :-\

MtD

Offline kellybryana

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #42 on: February 19, 2011, 01:24:50 AM »
yeah man, for real sauce. I feel like I may have inadvertently sparked this thread, which is awesome, so I feel like I need to respond...

I agree with killfoilie that the virus itself sucks. However, I don't feel like its productive to sit and argue the logistics of the question. You find out who you are in the face of adversity, and being diagnosed with something like HIV is a paradigm shift for anyone. I personally am a newly diagnosed HIV+ person, so I may have a view from behind rose colored lenses, and a better prognosis than LTSers had in the beginning, but my opinion still counts!

since being diagnosed...

-I do not stress over anything. I have come to understand that my psychology is a big part of my overall health, and stress is very physically and emotionally draining and downright bad for me. I refuse to stress too much over anything.

-I live each day to the fullest, and I enjoy my life more.

-I have told SEVERAL people about my status, and I have found nothing but love and acceptance, and actually, I have had several people tell me that I inspire them with how I am dealing with this hardship.

-I value my relationships with people, and I make sure that I nourish and enrich each one as best I can.

-I feel that I have a better view of what really matters in life and I don't get mad about things that really, in the long run, are small and insignificant.

-I have a new hunger to study religion and spirituality and to find what is right for me and what I believe.

-I have more motivation to achieve and succeed...and win!

-I feel more love and acceptance for humanity. Everyone has problems, and everyone deals with them in different ways. I used to be very judgmental, HIV has stripped that from me. I now realize that anything can happen to anyone, and everyone has their set of tools that they have acquired in their life in order to deal with their problems.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #43 on: February 19, 2011, 01:33:54 AM »
So, Littleprince, whose agenda finally reveals. You yourself said:

Quote
- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.


So you would not have respected yourself without getting HIV?

You would not have gotten reconciled with your mom?

A free flu shot?

HIV alone caused this? Was and is and will be worth this?

My point, and the point of those who "dumped" on this thread, was that if you or anyone thinks that HIV alone was uniquely responsible for your personal growth, and that these benefits would not have come at any other cost, or at any other time, then I submit that you have read (or likely, skimmed) much that deserves real, adult consideration.

You have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

I, however, have grown, evolved, even matured. May we all do the same, virus or no virus.

Again, the things you mention, aside from the flu shot, you could have - and should have achieved through maturity, personal reflection, and the advent of time.

The flu shot? I would gladly pay the 25 bucks for it.

And no, this is no LTS rant. Newly infected people endure career crippling stigma (which, ironically, ends with financial problems and difficulty/impossibility of obtaining meds). They are rejected out of hand for friendship or love. They are disallowed the usual process of maturation, and many do not survive.

You have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy.

What you have done is shit on the few serious, thoughtful responses you have obtained from myself and others who were actually trying to give you a chance to clarify. The "dumping" you witness was of your own doing.

I regret posting my real thoughts and feelings on this forum, and not for the first time.

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Offline kellybryana

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2011, 01:50:23 AM »
so then don't do it.

MY point is that the diagnosis of HIV sparks a paradigm shift. Some see the good that comes from bad. Some only see bad.

I don't remember who it was, but someone's signature really struck a note with me, and I pose the question to you...

"Is your status the only thing about you that is still positive?"

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2011, 01:51:41 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.
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Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #46 on: February 19, 2011, 01:52:46 AM »
so then don't do it.

MY point is that the diagnosis of HIV sparks a paradigm shift. Some see the good that comes from bad. Some only see bad.

I don't remember who it was, but someone's signature really struck a note with me, and I pose the question to you...

"Is your status the only thing about you that is still positive?"

A-MEN
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Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #47 on: February 19, 2011, 01:54:03 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.


I am sorry you feel that way. I make no apologies for my perceived tine or my words. You want to call me bitter? How about taking the outrageous effort to get to know me?

I am certainly giving YOU another chance, after a few rather personal attacks.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

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Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #48 on: February 19, 2011, 01:55:08 AM »
so then don't do it.

MY point is that the diagnosis of HIV sparks a paradigm shift. Some see the good that comes from bad. Some only see bad.

I don't remember who it was, but someone's signature really struck a note with me, and I pose the question to you...

"Is your status the only thing about you that is still positive?"

Like I told Drewm, take the time to get to know the people you seem to dismiss, simply because they do not give HIV the power of positive transformation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Jeff G

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #49 on: February 19, 2011, 01:56:33 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.


Its all in the way you want to see it I suppose . I see JK post as a sensitive and insightful one .  

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #50 on: February 19, 2011, 02:01:30 AM »
Its all in the way you want to see it I suppose . I see JK post as a sensitive and insightful one .  

I agree for the most part, except that he called the people who agreed with him grown ups, which implies that those who disagree with him are juvenile.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #51 on: February 19, 2011, 02:03:01 AM »

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement.


No, it makes them fucking dangerous. It makes people spread this virus. It makes people ignore it. It makes people (sorry to be mean here) like yourself remain totally ignorant of it until you have it, and even then make the already steep learning curve more difficult than it has to be because you seem convinced that you know it all, until the very next speed bump. And from your posts, they seem to be coming up at a pace fast enough to question your efforts to understand the thing inside you, the thing that will indeed kill you if it gets the upper hand.

Whatever, you guys hold hands and sing prevention efforts into oblivion. HIV is nothing. Its a pill, given for free, and no one needs to fear it or prevent it or protect against it. If I seem mean and bitter, it is because people like you guys are indirectly responsible for the spread of this thing.

Because a difference that makes no difference IS no difference, right?

We have forums on this site for spirituality, for alternative meds, and an active off-topic section for those who want to talk about other things. This ONE forum, aside from the restricted Positive Women's and LTS forums, is where we discuss HIV.

Report my posts if they seem disruptive. Get me canned if they seem destructive. I certainly find these rose-colored viewpoints destructive IN THIS FORUM, TO this forum.

Also, I don't know it all. I only know what I know. And even that, I leave open to new information.

Sad, because we could have been friends. At any rate, I hope you do not ignore the voices that could save your halth and your life.


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Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #52 on: February 19, 2011, 02:03:41 AM »
@jkinatl2 What I am reading here tonight does not, exactly, make me feel all warm and fuzzy about you. It just doesn't. Different people have tried, in earnest, to explain themselves all day and have been derided, name called, baited and God only knows what else. I can feel your negativity in your posts, your preaching your point of view refusing to listen to anyone else's or give it any merit.

Have a heart man! Yeah, we are all adults (or at least I think so) but not everyone has experienced life as you have NOR SHOULD THEY. If you can listen to what others are saying about THEIR OWN PERSONAL experiences and how they see THEIR OWN LIFE without correcting and admonishing them for their own personal views and feelings you will gain a lot of ground.

As I told you before, I came here to offer up my own experiences. Granted, they are not as lengthy as some of you fine folks on here BUT THEY ARE JUST AS VALID because I own this F***ING VIRUS just as much as you do. I wish I didn't but the hand of fate has brought me here. I am also asking questions and learning from some folks. I don't have all the answers, hell, I don't even have the questions yet that I think I should but your viscous attempts to call people down like grade schoolers is hardly encouraging to anyone.
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #53 on: February 19, 2011, 02:16:08 AM »
I agree for the most part, except that he called the people who agreed with him grown ups, which implies that those who disagree with him are juvenile.

Jk is one of the most informative and sincere people we have on the boards here , he hasnt done a thing but state his opinion just like the rest of you so get off the cross guys .

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #54 on: February 19, 2011, 02:16:47 AM »
If my posts are vicious, then I need to leave.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #55 on: February 19, 2011, 02:16:55 AM »
@jkinatl2 I am still reading and re-reading what you have said and no matter how many times I decipher it, it always comes across the same. Your post is mean and bitter and you come across as all-knowing. Maybe you are but your presentation is likely welcomed by those afraid to take you on but derided by those of us who aren't living in life's gutter.

Instead of coming across as an LTS know it all (which is how you sound) why don't you listen.

You said, "you have shown no evidence that the organic manifestation of HIV does any more to bring positivity into someone's life than any other tragedy." Who, exactly, said it did? Where did you read this?

And then you said, "you have come across a forum of grownups. Life is hard. Life is also joyous. We make the joy worth the pain each day, until it no longer does. HIV has not dictated ONE SINGLE POSITIVE THING in my life.

Point made over and over again. Not everyone is in agreement. That doesn't make them wrong and you, being human, hardly have all the answers. Your tone is apparent, no clarification needed.


Well Drew, you're hardly lacking with the i-know-more-than-god tone yourself. Difference between you and Jonathan is that he has the life experience to carry such a tone and you, to be blunt, do not.

You seem like a nice guy, but in your haste to have your say you're missing the point, I think.

MtD

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #56 on: February 19, 2011, 02:23:19 AM »
Alright last post to this thread.  The difference is, Drew and Kelly aren't saying you're wrong only that they disagree.  The rest of ya are saying "No no it can't be the way you say it is, you are completely and totally wrong" and refusing to see the reason of their arguments.  Take that for what it's worth.  I'm out.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #57 on: February 19, 2011, 02:26:21 AM »
Alright last post to this thread.  The difference is, Drew and Kelly aren't saying you're wrong only that they disagree.  The rest of ya are saying "No no it can't be the way you say it is, you are completely and totally wrong" and refusing to see the reason of their arguments.  Take that for what it's worth.  I'm out.

Goodnight   :-\

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #58 on: February 19, 2011, 02:28:34 AM »
Alright last post to this thread.  The difference is, Drew and Kelly aren't saying you're wrong only that they disagree.  The rest of ya are saying "No no it can't be the way you say it is, you are completely and totally wrong" and refusing to see the reason of their arguments.  Take that for what it's worth.  I'm out.

Again that isn't what we're saying, but you know that.

JK quite astutely puts to various tests the assertion that "HIV can be a positive force in one's life". Others of us suggest that the irrepressibly cheerful Tony Robbins fuelled "you can make your own success!" undertones to some of this stuff is in fact Not A Wise Approach regarding HIV.

Whether people agree with this or not is obviously a matter for them.

The fact that it upsets some people is not a reason to bite one's tongue.

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #59 on: February 19, 2011, 02:30:02 AM »
Congrats Drewm. You managed to really wound me tonight. I wrote from my heart, which is apparently mean and bitter. I told stories of my friend who is at real risk of ruin from this virus. I wrote of my own painful experiences. I wrote of my own growth and my own pain.

And you called it preachy and mean and bitter.

So there ya go. The Positive Positive thread in a forum marked "Living With HIV." I hope it made you feel better.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #60 on: February 19, 2011, 02:30:48 AM »
No, it makes them fucking dangerous. It makes people spread this virus. It makes people ignore it. It makes people (sorry to be mean here) like yourself remain totally ignorant of it until you have it, and even then make the already steep learning curve more difficult than it has to be because you seem convinced that you know it all, until the very next speed bump. And from your posts, they seem to be coming up at a pace fast enough to question your efforts to understand the thing inside you, the thing that will indeed kill you if it gets the upper hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Herein lies the problem. You are the know it all. I don't have the answers or even all the questions but your assumptions about me are way off mark. Not surprising though, you haven't LISTENED yet. Yeah, my posts do come fast because I am firm in what I believe and you are simply repeating, ad-nauseaum, the same things over and over.

You think I don't know this virus will kill me? Really? That's your take because I refuse to crawl down into your hole and wallow in your misery? I am currently on one hell of a rebound thanks to Atripla and an aggressive TEAM of doctors who grabbed this bitch by the throat and helped to reverse some horrid numbers. But since I don't walk around with a skull and cross-bones tatooed on my forehead preaching gloom and doom, I am the enemy? You are delusional.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatever, you guys hold hands and sing prevention efforts into oblivion. HIV is nothing. Its a pill, given for free, and no one needs to fear it or prevent it or protect against it. If I seem mean and bitter, it is because people like you guys are indirectly responsible for the spread of this thing.

You really believe that? And you base this on positive life experiences, being hopeful, taking advantage of what life we have? Really??????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Report my posts if they seem disruptive. Get me canned if they seem destructive. I certainly find these rose-colored viewpoints destructive IN THIS FORUM, TO this forum.


No doubt about that. You find life destructive unless it fits in your end of the world mantra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, I don't know it all. I only know what I know. And even that, I leave open to new information. Sad, because we could have been friends. At any rate, I hope you do not ignore the voices that could save your halth and your life.

Just a couple of thoughts. You come across as a know it all. What you know could probably be beneficial No, it couldn't because you cannot listen to another opinion without horrendous accusations, blame and nonsense and belittling others. Your assumptions about me are proof that you think you have a grasp on me. YOU DON'T...AT ALL. You're observations are not even close but rather than listen and make your points in a less accusatory, blame leveling, way you come across as a jerk. FYI the voices that can save my life were a team of doctors and my current ID doc that can talk to me about the upsides and downsides without coming across as a jerk.
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #61 on: February 19, 2011, 02:34:22 AM »
No, it makes them fucking dangerous. It makes people spread this virus. It makes people ignore it. It makes people (sorry to be mean here) like yourself remain totally ignorant of it until you have it, and even then make the already steep learning curve more difficult than it has to be because you seem convinced that you know it all, until the very next speed bump. And from your posts, they seem to be coming up at a pace fast enough to question your efforts to understand the thing inside you, the thing that will indeed kill you if it gets the upper hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Herein lies the problem. You are the know it all. I don't have the answers or even all the questions but your assumptions about me are way off mark. Not surprising though, you haven't LISTENED yet. Yeah, my posts do come fast because I am firm in what I believe and you are simply repeating, ad-nauseaum, the same things over and over.

You think I don't know this virus will kill me? Really? That's your take because I refuse to crawl down into your hole and wallow in your misery? I am currently on one hell of a rebound thanks to Atripla and an aggressive TEAM of doctors who grabbed this bitch by the throat and helped to reverse some horrid numbers. But since I don't walk around with a skull and cross-bones tatooed on my forehead preaching gloom and doom, I am the enemy? You are delusional.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatever, you guys hold hands and sing prevention efforts into oblivion. HIV is nothing. Its a pill, given for free, and no one needs to fear it or prevent it or protect against it. If I seem mean and bitter, it is because people like you guys are indirectly responsible for the spread of this thing.

You really believe that? And you base this on positive life experiences, being hopeful, taking advantage of what life we have? Really??????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Report my posts if they seem disruptive. Get me canned if they seem destructive. I certainly find these rose-colored viewpoints destructive IN THIS FORUM, TO this forum.


No doubt about that. You find life destructive unless it fits in your end of the world mantra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, I don't know it all. I only know what I know. And even that, I leave open to new information. Sad, because we could have been friends. At any rate, I hope you do not ignore the voices that could save your halth and your life.

Just a couple of thoughts. You come across as a know it all. What you know could probably be beneficial No, it couldn't because you cannot listen to another opinion without horrendous accusations, blame and nonsense and belittling others. Your assumptions about me are proof that you think you have a grasp on me. YOU DON'T...AT ALL. You're observations are not even close but rather than listen and make your points in a less accusatory, blame leveling, way you come across as a jerk. FYI the voices that can save my life were a team of doctors and my current ID doc that can talk to me about the upsides and downsides without coming across as a jerk.

Seriously Drew, yer way off the mark with this crap you're tipping on JK. Dial it back before you regret it.

MtD

Offline Jeff G

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #62 on: February 19, 2011, 02:39:03 AM »
No, it makes them fucking dangerous. It makes people spread this virus. It makes people ignore it. It makes people (sorry to be mean here) like yourself remain totally ignorant of it until you have it, and even then make the already steep learning curve more difficult than it has to be because you seem convinced that you know it all, until the very next speed bump. And from your posts, they seem to be coming up at a pace fast enough to question your efforts to understand the thing inside you, the thing that will indeed kill you if it gets the upper hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Herein lies the problem. You are the know it all. I don't have the answers or even all the questions but your assumptions about me are way off mark. Not surprising though, you haven't LISTENED yet. Yeah, my posts do come fast because I am firm in what I believe and you are simply repeating, ad-nauseaum, the same things over and over.

You think I don't know this virus will kill me? Really? That's your take because I refuse to crawl down into your hole and wallow in your misery? I am currently on one hell of a rebound thanks to Atripla and an aggressive TEAM of doctors who grabbed this bitch by the throat and helped to reverse some horrid numbers. But since I don't walk around with a skull and cross-bones tatooed on my forehead preaching gloom and doom, I am the enemy? You are delusional.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatever, you guys hold hands and sing prevention efforts into oblivion. HIV is nothing. Its a pill, given for free, and no one needs to fear it or prevent it or protect against it. If I seem mean and bitter, it is because people like you guys are indirectly responsible for the spread of this thing.

You really believe that? And you base this on positive life experiences, being hopeful, taking advantage of what life we have? Really??????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Report my posts if they seem disruptive. Get me canned if they seem destructive. I certainly find these rose-colored viewpoints destructive IN THIS FORUM, TO this forum.


No doubt about that. You find life destructive unless it fits in your end of the world mantra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, I don't know it all. I only know what I know. And even that, I leave open to new information. Sad, because we could have been friends. At any rate, I hope you do not ignore the voices that could save your halth and your life.

Just a couple of thoughts. You come across as a know it all. What you know could probably be beneficial No, it couldn't because you cannot listen to another opinion without horrendous accusations, blame and nonsense and belittling others. Your assumptions about me are proof that you think you have a grasp on me. YOU DON'T...AT ALL. You're observations are not even close but rather than listen and make your points in a less accusatory, blame leveling, way you come across as a jerk. FYI the voices that can save my life were a team of doctors and my current ID doc that can talk to me about the upsides and downsides without coming across as a jerk.

Hey drew ... please just let it go tonight ... you are way off and out of bounds with this .

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #63 on: February 19, 2011, 02:47:38 AM »
this has certainly done nothing to convince me that those espousing positivity at the reliquishing of reality are some of the meanest, angriest people in the world.

Damn, Drewm. You try to hurt and you succeed. Good job. Well done.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline komnaes

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #64 on: February 19, 2011, 03:00:46 AM »
It's interesting to me that talking to the "positive" positive folks here and in my support group is almost like talking to some Christians' "God makes me a better person" argument while you're trying to engage them on a conversation whether believing in yahweh is delusional.

The point is - why does it take believing in an nonexistent bearded vindictive being in order for someone to be that better person that s/he claims s/he is because of his/her religion? Can't you just be that better person without this belief?

Applying to HIV, I hear some of us saying "oh, now I live everyday fully", "now I take care of myself better", "I have a closer relationship with my parents", etc... that's fine, but then my question is, why does it have to take catching a deadly virus that needs toxic pills to keep the bugs from killing you for you to do all those "positive" things and attain that "positive" attitude on life? Why can't you do it or couldn't you have done it WITHOUT it?

And even if you can't see yourself doing all those "positive" things now if it isn't for the fact that you're diagnosed, can you rule out somewhere down the line of your life you could still be able to do them without being HIV+?

Not sure about you.. I would much rather still be HIV- and to hold this "positive" thought that I could still be a "better" person without this pet virus that I am hosting...
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #65 on: February 19, 2011, 03:12:08 AM »
Why can't you do it or couldn't you have done it WITHOUT it?

Well, we will never be able to do it without it so we preach about doing it with it..  Perhaps for some it was the driving force to do it now rather than later.  What's so hard to understand?   ::)

I'm still mystified about the topic of arguement here... So, if you're happy and you know it shut the fuck up??  Am I reading it right?
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline komnaes

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #66 on: February 19, 2011, 03:31:30 AM »
Well, we will never be able to do it without it so we preach about doing it with it..  Perhaps for some it was the driving force to do it now rather than later.  What's so hard to understand?   ::)

It is hard to understand, or it isn't. That's point really. If you're among the unlucky few that struggle with your health and side effects despite all the new treatment options, isn't that too high a price to pay for all those supposed beliefs that you have become a better person because of HIV? If it's indeed as easy as taking a pill a night for you now, good for you and nothing's wrong with that, but why coming here and telling those that have suffered horribly in many cases for years to be cheering for you..

I'm still mystified about the topic of arguement here... So, if you're happy and you know it shut the fuck up??  Am I reading it right?

Don't you think it's the other way round? Look at the OP - "everyone to just tell us of something positive", the operative word being "just", now you tell me who's telling who to shut the fuck up?
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline anniebc

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #67 on: February 19, 2011, 05:10:02 AM »
Quoted from drewm:

Quote
you are simply repeating, ad-nauseaum, the same things over and over.


Really!!...and why do you think that is?..well let me tell you why, it's because he cares and continues to care about the idiots who won't listen to him..he is constantly hopeful that one day they will listen, and learn from his experience..and then you turn up and talk to him like that..how fucking dare you, you would never have survive what JK and all the other LTS went through because you lack the strength and courage they have.

And this little gem:

Quote
I refuse to crawl down into your hole and wallow in your misery?

I'm lost for words, what a bloody horrible thing to say, you really are a piece of work..you have managed to alienate some of the best members on this forum, and all this after only two months membership and 96 posts
« Last Edit: February 19, 2011, 05:13:24 AM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline BT65

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #68 on: February 19, 2011, 06:42:39 AM »
I am managing HIV/AIDS, it is NOT managing me

I am HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND AT THE MOMENT, IT'S NO BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, well, HIV does sort of manage me.  When I was young, I always cringed when I heard my mom and her friends discussing their health problems....until I got older.  Then I understood.  Especially after being diagnosed 21 years ago, and talking with people back then about every little thing going wrong with our bodies...weight loss, anemia, numbness, severe pain, and hey, am I going crazy, is that why I believe I have bugs living in my body?  And why doesn't anybody get those bugs out?  The list is endless, the mental anguish still comes and goes.  And HIV dictates that I have to take some god-awful symptom causing pills, which cause me to take about 22 more meds to manage side effects of the pills, and disease itself.  HIV managed to cause me deep grief I never thought was possible.  HIV derailed my personal life to the point of giving up a previous career, and making a will at the age of 24. 

But, I've made it this long, for unknown reasons.  Am I happy about it?  Happy I lived, most of the time.  But not at all happy about having Aids.  I could have grown emotionally and intellectually without being diagnosed.  The only good thing about having this disease is meeting the people I have met.  But I suppose I could have met other people who would have meant as much, couldn't I.  I don't regret meeting the people, some of the ones here I've grown close to, but it would be better if we were all without this virus, even if that would mean not knowing each other.  This was a horrible horrible twist in life that I would have been much better off without.  Bitter?  Damn right.  Downer?  No, just honest. 

JK is one of the most respected members on these boards, and to dismiss what he says is, well, dangerous.  Closing one's mind to other points of view is, well, sort of prejudice.  If people want to be continuously optimistic and joyful, fine.  But give those of us who have gone through the worst of this, validity.  What we feel matters as much as those who are dancing on air.  If you don't like what some of us have to say, tough.  Get over yourselves.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline wolfter

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #69 on: February 19, 2011, 06:43:31 AM »
I purposely have avoided posting because I couldn't contribute anything constructive without derailing the post.  If this sort of post brings positivity and mental strength, then we LTS need to allow that communication to exist.
I've already said what my feelings and thoughts are and refuse to beat another person with them.  

What I find quite distressing are the personal attacks that produce nothing positive but instead, drives a wedge.  I imagine that being from several different generations, we are going to view most topics differently.  Maybe there is a valid point to the thread and I will therefore just sit back and absorb and possibly learn something.  This "old dog" is willing to do learn new tricks (got kinda excited typing that).  I don't suddenly expect a paradigm shift, but I'll at least listen.
productivity breeds content

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #70 on: February 19, 2011, 07:52:29 AM »
It's more than a little ironic that was began as "a positive positive thread" has degenerated into brawling.

Cut it out right now or there are going to be some positive Time Outs handed out to any and all who are throwing punches here.

Nuf said.

Andy Velez

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #71 on: February 19, 2011, 08:13:36 AM »
"In with anger, out with love." ::)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline komnaes

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #72 on: February 19, 2011, 09:06:35 AM »
"In with anger, out with love." ::)

.. and a mandatory group hug .. that's what we do in our support group.. :D
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline littleprince

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #73 on: February 19, 2011, 09:20:00 AM »
I purposely have avoided posting because I couldn't contribute anything constructive without derailing the post.  If this sort of post brings positivity and mental strength, then we LTS need to allow that communication to exist.

Thank you for that comment. I certainly wasn't trying to dismiss the LTS or denigrate them in any way.

I see a lot of good things happening to people. Like falling in love, having babies. I thought some people (including me) would gain by having a glimpse into the lives of others and see that the future still holds promise. That positive things will still happen to them. I thank those who shared a little of this.

BTW, I think some have miss read the OP. I didn't ask for positives that have been caused by HIV. I asked for positives that have happened after HIV. I also used the term 'related to HIV' which again does not mean 'caused by HIV'.

Offline NycJoe

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #74 on: February 19, 2011, 09:38:38 AM »
HIV absolutely sucks.  I hate it.  Would not wish it on anyone.  Been positive for about 8 years now fighting the good fight.  HIV in itself causes NO good.  Now on that note, any major life event can cause a life reevaluation.  Well my major life event happened to be being diagnosed with HIV.  Now because of that event, I reevaluated my life and decided to go in a new direction.  I went back to college at the age of 40 and just finished graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Radiologic Science with honors.  Something I NEVER thought I would do.  I have become much closer to my family, taking much better care of my body,  and have become a much more dependable and responsible person.  I don't drink, smoke, nor do drugs of any kind any more.   I honestly doubt I would have done any of this without some major shake up.  Am I thanking HIV for this?  No.  What I am saying is that because of that life changing moment, these things came to pass for ME.  So these are all positive things that happened for me because of this life changing moment.  I do not wear rose colored glasses.  But I am thankful for the better choices I have made since.  I think that is what people are trying to say. 

Science, education, and life stories are all very important.  It is also important to hear some good things from people here and there.  We always hear the negative things which after a while can really drag someone down and they are important to hear.  But at the same time I don't want the people having good stories, positive stories to not be heard.  They are just as important.  Disagreements are fine.  I think disagreement can happen without putting people down or judgement.  So bring on both the good and the bad.  That is life. 

Joe

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #75 on: February 19, 2011, 01:06:29 PM »
Thanks for the PM's. Sorry if I came across as brash and uncaring. If I didn't care, perhaps I would have gone to bed long before 2:30 in the morning.

1.) I HATE THIS VIRUS

2.) I AM TAKING SOMETHING POSITIVE FROM HAVING IT FOR MY OWN, PERSONAL, MENTAL HEALTH.

3.) I RESPECT WHAT ANYONE WHO IS LIVING WITH THIS BUG HAS TO SAY BECAUSE WE ALL OWN IT, UNFORTUNATELY.

4.) I RESPECT DIFFERENT OPINIONS AND COMMENTS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IT ALL, I WISH I DID, I WISH I HAD A CURE THEN NONE OF US, NOT ONE, WOULD HAVE TO BE HERE UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

5.) I AM NOT AFRAID TO DISAGREE AND WILL TRY NOT TO BE DISAGREEABLE. I DID TAKE SOME BODY BLOWS YESTERDAY BUT NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT THIS NASTY BITCH LIVING INSIDE ME HAS DONE.

6.) I AM NOT SURE THE BITCH FIGHT ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING, IT CERTAINLY DID NOT HELP ME ALTHOUGH IT DID OPEN MY EYES AS TO SPECIFIC ALLIANCES AND IT CERTAINLY QUANTIFIED SOME OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT POSITIONING ON DIFFERENT ISSUES.

At least, we are all alive and healthy enough to discuss, passionately how and why we feel the way we do.

***The all CAPS is not yelling, it's just emphasizing because my eyesight is a little rough this morning err, uhm, afternoon.***
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Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #76 on: February 19, 2011, 01:43:46 PM »
6.) I AM NOT SURE THE BITCH FIGHT ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING, IT CERTAINLY DID NOT HELP ME ALTHOUGH IT DID OPEN MY EYES AS TO SPECIFIC ALLIANCES AND IT CERTAINLY QUANTIFIED SOME OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT POSITIONING ON DIFFERENT ISSUES.

I was going to say, that in a thread, that contains some truly heart-rendering comments, as well as some vicious attacks, that there was some consensus on the OP. That we all essentially are saying the same thing, even if we use different words. As I read the later comments, I know that most of you get what is being said. The idea that we are subject to HIV, but we refuse it give it more than it absolutely demands. That we all possess the potential for personal growth and we can and will, live meaningful productive lives, HIV be damned. I felt hopeful, that maybe this "divide" between the newly infected and LTS was not real and then I read the above.

Drewn, I am at a loss for words. You have no idea how hurtful your words are. If you honestly believe that the posts from LTS, are based on some alliance, I do not know what to say. If, by alliance, you mean that some members share a certain history with HIV and that we insist on everyone sharing the views, shaped by that history, you are very wrong. We share our experiences, because life with HIV has shown us that they work. We have this conversation regularly in the forums and some of us, always respond, because we know that what matters in living with HIV is belief in yourself, not some virus.

Most hurtful however, is your last comment suggesting that you have been told, that certain topics have a predefined position and I have absolutely no reply for that thought. The implications of what you are saying are very disheartening and have confirmed my worst fears, regarding some members of this forum. I will now be very careful about replying to certain posts, because I realize that for some members, my thoughts have already been discounted, without my saying a word.

A final thought. Some of the posters here, need to step back and see how mean and hurtful your comments were. Some of you owe apologies to other posters, who were only trying to help.

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #77 on: February 19, 2011, 02:00:24 PM »
@killfoile - "A final thought. Some of the posters here, need to step back and see how mean and hurtful your comments were. Some of you owe apologies to other posters, who were only trying to help."

I'll do one better. I'm out of here. This is not what I came her for. If I wanted to engage in a bitch fight I would go into Montrose and seek out some GaGa queens or go face down Fred Phelps. If I have questions about my health, I will ask my doctor and if I have mental health issues, I will call my shrink.

All this has done is made me jaded and I am not a jaded person normally.

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #78 on: February 19, 2011, 02:10:45 PM »
@killfoile - "A final thought. Some of the posters here, need to step back and see how mean and hurtful your comments were. Some of you owe apologies to other posters, who were only trying to help."

I'll do one better. I'm out of here. This is not what I came her for. If I wanted to engage in a bitch fight I would go into Montrose and seek out some GaGa queens or go face down Fred Phelps. If I have questions about my health, I will ask my doctor and if I have mental health issues, I will call my shrink.

All this has done is made me jaded and I am not a jaded person normally.

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Offline bmancanfly

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #79 on: February 19, 2011, 02:16:05 PM »
I don't think Drew owes anyone an apology.  He's just as entitled to voice his views as anyone else.

And if you don't like it, tough fucking shit.

MtD
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Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #80 on: February 19, 2011, 02:22:47 PM »
I'll do one better. I'm out of here. This is not what I came her for. If I wanted to engage in a bitch fight I would go into Montrose and seek out some GaGa queens or go face down Fred Phelps. If I have questions about my health, I will ask my doctor and if I have mental health issues, I will call my shrink.

Now I see your point. Any rational comments, that goes against what you "know" are a bitch fight. Honey, you have no idea what a real bitch fight is like and nothing like that went on in this thread. Yes there were strong sentiments expressed and that is part of why this forum is so special. For myself, I was only trying to help and I expressed my views, without attacking or insulting anyone else. Can you say the same? And spare me blaming the forum for becoming jaded. Given some of your posts... pot, kettle, black.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #81 on: February 19, 2011, 02:24:27 PM »
I don't think Drew owes anyone an apology.  He's just as entitled to voice his views as anyone else.

I totally agree.

I was going to say, that in a thread, that contains some truly heart-rendering comments, as well as some vicious attacks, that there was some consensus on the OP. That we all essentially are saying the same thing, even if we use different words. As I read the later comments, I know that most of you get what is being said. The idea that we are subject to HIV, but we refuse it give it more than it absolutely demands. That we all possess the potential for personal growth and we can and will, live meaningful productive lives, HIV be damned. I felt hopeful, that maybe this "divide" between the newly infected and LTS was not real and then I read the above.

Drewn, I am at a loss for words. You have no idea how hurtful your words are. If you honestly believe that the posts from LTS, are based on some alliance, I do not know what to say. If, by alliance, you mean that some members share a certain history with HIV and that we insist on everyone sharing the views, shaped by that history, you are very wrong. We share our experiences, because life with HIV has shown us that they work. We have this conversation regularly in the forums and some of us, always respond, because we know that what matters in living with HIV is belief in yourself, not some virus.

Most hurtful however, is your last comment suggesting that you have been told, that certain topics have a predefined position and I have absolutely no reply for that thought. The implications of what you are saying are very disheartening and have confirmed my worst fears, regarding some members of this forum. I will now be very careful about replying to certain posts, because I realize that for some members, my thoughts have already been discounted, without my saying a word.

A final thought. Some of the posters here, need to step back and see how mean and hurtful your comments were. Some of you owe apologies to other posters, who were only trying to help.

A final thought. Some of the posters here, need to step back and see how mean and hurtful your comments were. Some of you owe apologies to other posters, who were only trying to help.

You need to include Jonathan when you say this for he is far from innocent.  I've reread his post a few times and for the life of me cannot see it the way you guys want us to.  


I cannot for the life of me understand how it is empowering to manufacture positive thoughts about a virus whose costs and stigma continue to stagger the mind. I really don't.

This is as insulting as asking if there was an upside to my Dad's death. I got through it, if not exactly past, but Christ. Is there an upside to a miscarriage? Is there an upside to poverty? Rape?

And Hellraiser, the humor you see from folks on this thread, unless I am mistaken, is because they have the same reaction as I did. We get through by our dark humor, but the serious reaction - and the understandable one - is to simply be aghast at the notion that having HIV can in any way be construed as being a good thing.

And for the folks who talk about it making them seize the day, better themselves, treat their bodies and spirits and friends better, I raise an eyebrow. You mean all that was impossible without HIV? You mean that without this virus actively aging your mitochondrial DNA you would have never grown, personally?

Seriously?

Either that is bullshit or everything you have become post-infection is predicated on a terrible lie.

Like Drew the above does not make me all warm and fuzzy.   And I don't want to hear about wanting to be pacified with gentle words, because it's not necessary.  Let's face it, everyone reacts to being diagnosed and living with this disease differently and in doing this, it doesn't mean we take it lightly or less seriously than YOU.

We are not ignoring the past nor do we go without fear of what the future brings.  We are not a danger to fellow possies as has been suggested.  That's complete bullshit.

The victim role played by Jonathan now and the backing of his words without any admittance to his wrong is strange to say the least.  
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #82 on: February 19, 2011, 02:30:59 PM »
To clarify, I said that some posters owed apologies, based on their posts and I stand by that comment. I purposely did not single out any one poster, intentionally, so please stop putting words into my mouth.

If this thread has devolved so badly, that nobody can reflect on their words, then so be it. Over and out.

Offline David_CA

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #83 on: February 19, 2011, 02:58:18 PM »
I don't think I've ever read a thread where so many long-term members have shown their asses as badly as they have here. 

From the OP:
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

I don't think the question was 'why is your life better now that you have HIV / AIDS'.  The OP didn't imply that his was.  There have been positive things in my life that happened that are related to my diagnosis.  This does not mean that they could not or would not have happened without HIV.  As an example, hubby and I went to Montreal for an AMG.  After reading Ric's posts about his and Thom's wedding plans, hubby and I decided to follow their lead and get married too.  Sure, we could have gotten married without HIV, but we didn't.  We hadn't.  We had no plans to. 

I read a lot of posts that are opinion oriented in terms of what they are asking.  If I haven't shared the OP's experience, I generally won't comment on it other than to offer support or helpful advice; I seldom attack.  My experiences with HIV / AIDS have very little in common with most LTS's.  I honestly can't imagine receiving an HIV diagnosis when there was no hope.  Similarly, though it's sort of repeating that last sentence, most LTS can't imagine a diagnosis where there were any number of meds to choose from... many with no or very few side effects. 

Basically, our experiences are different, but that doesn't mean that my experiences and opinions of my experiences are wrong.  It also does not mean that a LTS's experiences are wrong or that their opinions of their experiences are wrong.  They are just different.  Neither 'side' will likely really understand the experiences of the other 'side'; thread after thread have pretty much shown that.  What we all can and should do is to be respectful of others experiences and try to learn from them.  If you can't add something constructive to a thread or have relevant comments, it'd be a good time to hit the 'back' button in your browser and move on; that thread likely doesn't pertain to you.
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05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
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11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
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Offline mecch

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #84 on: February 19, 2011, 03:37:43 PM »
Gee the OP and some others, newly diagnosed or newly infected, simply asked for some positive spin.  Positive spin precisely in contrast to the route the other thread took.

Look at this thread from a distance and take a moment to consider if it worked out well. What's the point of colonizing every thread with this kind of "reality sucks" or "hard truths" discourse?

Newbies, and everyone else for that matter, have their own construction of meaning.  

Calling it a paradigm shift seems quite constructive. Or calling it a wake-up call.  

Its just arguing words, to debate if positive life experiences can result from HIV (which is a given in this crowd) or a universally possible human spirit of betterment.  Its the same fucking thing.  Just people making lemonade out of aids.  Martha Stewart would say that's "a good thing" and she wouldn't be wrong.

How about some more recul and generosity and indulgence from the "survivors".  What's it gonna hurt you, personally, to play nice.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #85 on: February 19, 2011, 03:49:30 PM »
The best part of this thread is still the heart-shaped sugar cookies with pink 7-minute frosting.  Oh yeah, and I just ate three of them.  Dipped in Basil Hayden for some extra kick.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline StrongGuy

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #86 on: February 19, 2011, 03:53:54 PM »
Always amazed at others who try to control the dialogue. If you don't like the topic, move on or share your view respectfully. But trying to shut down discussion is really poor form. Anyway, that's as far as I'm wading into the muck. The trajectory of the comments speak for themselves.

Definitely good and bad things since being diagnosed, but overall I am definitely a happier person and in better straights than prior. I have better relationships, better respect for myself and the way I take care of myself, and value others a lot more. I guess my overall perspective has changed for the better.

Good topic (where on track)...
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

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"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline mecch

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #87 on: February 19, 2011, 03:54:03 PM »
Yeah everything about those cookies sounds just right!
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #88 on: February 19, 2011, 04:07:57 PM »
I don't think I've ever read a thread where so many long-term members have shown their asses as badly as they have here. 

How truly sad, for many reasons.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #89 on: February 19, 2011, 04:13:40 PM »

MtD

Offline David_CA

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #90 on: February 19, 2011, 04:17:52 PM »
How truly sad, for many reasons.

I agree.
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06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
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08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #91 on: February 19, 2011, 04:42:02 PM »
I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline littleprince

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #92 on: February 19, 2011, 04:44:40 PM »
You're making us some pot brownies? Sweet.

Online Dachshund

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #93 on: February 19, 2011, 04:57:32 PM »
I don't think I've ever read a thread where so many long-term members have shown their asses as badly as they have here. 

If you can't add something constructive to a thread or have relevant comments, it'd be a good time to hit the 'back' button in your browser and move on; that thread likely doesn't pertain to you.

This is what chaps my ass. Look how you started your post and then look how you finish.

Offline David_CA

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #94 on: February 19, 2011, 05:00:10 PM »
This is what chaps my ass. Look how you started your post and then look how you finish.

Yeah, Hal, I was adding something relevant and possibly constructive. 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
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You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #95 on: February 19, 2011, 05:14:23 PM »
As I understand it the crux of what the OPs are asking for in ďBlessing in DisguiseĒ and ďA Positive, Postive ThreadĒ is reassurance that life will be good after a HIV diagnosis and to discuss ways that HIV has helped people make positive changes in their lives. The reason this seemingly reasonable request didn't fly well with me is because I feel I am be asked to take a traumatic experience, frame it as a good thing, wrap it with a big red ribbon and then present it to strangers solely to make them feel better. HIV has apparently given some people wonderful insights into their lives and that is truly remarkable. I don't criticize anyone for that. However when I tell my experience-- that there is nothing good about HIV, that HIV didn't give me any special insights, that my life is not split into before and after HIVó I run the risk of being labeled as negative.

For the people who want reassurance from me what you should know is that after 18 years I am very happy-- and HIV had nothing to do with it. I have good health, a fulfilling job and wonderful relationships with my partner, family, and friends. I have more material possessions than I need. I donít think about HIV except for reading this forum (and when I have to pay for my prescriptions). The reason I even bother with AIDSmeds is because I like the people, I try to stay informed and I find ďOff TopicĒ one of the most enjoyable sites on the web. Lots of other people on here are equally happy but donít go on about it because it is insensitive to those who are struggling.

Everyone goes through their phases of dealing with HIV. For those who are newly infected I sincerely believe most of you will be fine as long as you have access to proper medical treatment. This is the most reassurance I can give you.

Offline bocker3

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #96 on: February 19, 2011, 06:10:25 PM »
However when I tell my experience-- that there is nothing good about HIV, that HIV didn't give me any special insights, that my life is not split into before and after HIVó I run the risk of being labeled as negative.

Ford,

I don't think this is true -- sharing your experience is the best thing you can do.  Where problems start and where this thread started to go to shit is when people don't simply share their experience or their opinion, but start pointing out how someone else's experience is wrong (or hurtful, or negative, or whatever it might be called).  At the end of the day someone's experience is simply what it is -- there are no right or wrong experiences -- and it is pretty rude anyone to try and insinuate that someone's actual life experiences are "incorrect".  
Everything we have gone through to date has made us the person we are today.  If any of those experiences didn't exist then we would probably be "different" then we are today.

Again -- it is completely counter-productive to demean someone else life experience.

Mike

edited to add: 
Ford -- I am in no way implying that you have done anything like what I've said here -- I just thought that your quote was a great place for me to start my thoughts here, because one shouldn't be labeled "negative" by relaying what has happened in their life.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2011, 06:12:05 PM by bocker3 »
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Offline NycJoe

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #97 on: February 19, 2011, 06:44:48 PM »
I'm happy see that this thread is getting back on track.  I agree with some of the above posters.  Everyone has their own experience.  No one, whether positive or negative thoughts or feelings, should be discounted in any way.  Everyone brings something to the table.  No one story or outlook is anymore important than anyone elses.  We all all important.  I hope that everyone keeps sharing.  I learn new things all the time.  I learned much from my Grandparents and to this day I learn much from my young nieces and nephews.  In the same way I learn things from the newly infected and ones who have dealt with this virus for decades.

Joe

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #98 on: February 19, 2011, 07:00:06 PM »
Again -- it is completely counter-productive to demean someone else life experience.

Is this what you think I did? It was never my intention to demean anyone and I do not believe I did so. However, some of the blanket statements here, cast a shadow on every post in this thread. I am not sure if this is worth the grief, trying to honestly help and then getting lampooned for doing so.

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #99 on: February 19, 2011, 07:20:47 PM »
" I am not sure if this is worth the grief, trying to honestly help and then getting lampooned for doing so."

Funny, I feel the same way.
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Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #100 on: February 19, 2011, 07:42:46 PM »
" I am not sure if this is worth the grief, trying to honestly help and then getting lampooned for doing so."

Funny, I feel the same way.

Then tell me why you fell that way, rather than leaving a cryptic response. If I did something to you personally, please tell me, because there can be no understanding without dialog. The fact that posters are here, discussing really tough topics, tells me that we are all adults here, so can we try and act like them? I do not walk on water and if I step out of line, I expect someone to tell me so. I have no problem reviewing my behavior or words and when I am either wrong or insensitive, I am the first to apologize. But when the discussion degrades and begins to include personal attacks, then nothing results other than hard feeling all around.

Just in case, I wish to apologize to anyone who was offended by my comments. From my viewpoint, this thread has reached a consensus, regarding respecting our experiences and our shared commitment to not let HIV stop us from fulfilling lives. I see a lot of positive here, between the barbs and maybe, it would serve our purpose better, if we downplayed the negative and concentrated on our shared values and beliefs. I urge you to reread many of the posts, setting any attitude aside and see if you can see what I do.

modified to add: drewm sent me a PM and explained his position and we are good. I'm leaving my post in hopes others can see that this remains a positive thread.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2011, 07:56:33 PM by killfoile »

Offline bocker3

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #101 on: February 19, 2011, 08:27:05 PM »
Is this what you think I did? It was never my intention to demean anyone and I do not believe I did so. However, some of the blanket statements here, cast a shadow on every post in this thread. I am not sure if this is worth the grief, trying to honestly help and then getting lampooned for doing so.

Joe,

I respect you tremendously, but really, not everything written on here is about your personally.  My comments were general -- and while they probably could be about a number of posters in this thread, I had no one particular in mind when I wrote them.  All I was attempting to do was remind everyone that each person's experiences are their own and are valid.

And quite frankly, you can take what you said in the quoted posted here and apply it to what you seem to be doing to me.  I am trying to help, but first, you took a general message very personally and then moved on to accusing me of "lampooning" your attempts at helping.  I'm not sure why you are playing the victim here -- you've met me, do I seem like the type that would do this to you?

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
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Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #102 on: February 19, 2011, 08:45:46 PM »
Joe,

I respect you tremendously, but really, not everything written on here is about your personally.  My comments were general -- and while they probably could be about a number of posters in this thread, I had no one particular in mind when I wrote them.  All I was attempting to do was remind everyone that each person's experiences are their own and are valid.

And quite frankly, you can take what you said in the quoted posted here and apply it to what you seem to be doing to me.  I am trying to help, but first, you took a general message very personally and then moved on to accusing me of "lampooning" your attempts at helping.  I'm not sure why you are playing the victim here -- you've met me, do I seem like the type that would do this to you?

Mike

I was asking if I was contributing to the thread or not. A simple question and it does not matter, as this is not about me. I know you are trying to help and I apologize in that some of my wording should have made my thoughts clearer.

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #103 on: February 19, 2011, 08:57:03 PM »
I can let my ass overload my mouth. I always thought that was a privilege of age (I'm not a twink anymore unfortunately) and while I expect it shown to me, sometimes I can be quick to bite someone else. There's an irony, in a way, that something that should draw us together for a lot of very important reasons can be so divisive and ugly.

I am very honest, after growing up a fag in Indiana, tormented, teased and bullied, like a lot of people, I simply don't have time for fantasy and facade's anymore. Sometimes I can be too real but I wear my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get.

I have made a hell of a lot of loud-mouthed enemies here even though that was never my intention. My goal was, and is, that out of constructive dialog and compassion for each other comes a greater understanding of just how wonderful we all truly are.

I apologize to anyone who was hurt by my words. I am as passionate and emotional about this as most of you. I'm not sorry for my passion or my outlook, only in my choice for how I talked to some of you folks. You don't deserve it...none of us do.

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Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #104 on: February 19, 2011, 09:01:55 PM »
I believe the OP, and the original OPs (the OOPs as it were ;) ) see HIV infection as adversity and were looking for stories of how people had turned this particular adversity into personal insight or action.

The use of adversity as a motivator for personal growth is a pretty common trope, across just about every human culture.  And for every Barbara Ehrenreich there are 100 Siddharthas.

No one is arguing that HIV is anything other than adversity. I think there is violent agreement on many of the fundamentals.




In the interests of responding to the request made by the OP this thread, here's the last two paragraphs of my introductory post -- 3 years ago.  They still sum it up pretty well for me.

"I'm very grateful for this site and for the pioneers, some of them here, who lobbied for research, tried med combinations  and so willingly shared their lives and trials.  I'm happy that I did not die in 2006, that I had the opportunity to rethink priorities and act on them.  Each day of relative health, of connection with my family and friends is a blessing and I've become much more likely to stop and recognize that blessing on a daily basis. I'm grateful to have a nervous doctor, who looks after me with innate and sometimes even irritating caution. But I wish  . . . that I could apply the same intensity and focus, the same stamina. . .  I wish that I were not tied to a dosing schedule.  . . . I wish I did not need to fear my blood would harm.

But mainly, I'm happy and grateful for each day. And when things are a little dark, I'm glad to have found this place and all of you."


I still feel the same tension between HIV as an undesirable companion and the fact that modern treatment made it possible to have an opportunity to stop, rethink and regroup.  On an additional positive note, after 3 years on this site -- I don't worry so much about people being exposed to my blood   :)
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline bocker3

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #105 on: February 19, 2011, 11:26:52 PM »
I was asking if I was contributing to the thread or not. A simple question and it does not matter, as this is not about me. I know you are trying to help and I apologize in that some of my wording should have made my thoughts clearer.

Joe,

Thanks!  Unfortunately, the internet can make way to easy to misinterpret the intent of a message.  I do enjoy reading your posts, your wisdom is certainly appreciated by me.  I can always find some good nuggets, even in those times when I don't fully agree.  It's amazing how much easier it is to do that once I've actually met someone -- and I'm glad our paths have crossed and hope they do again.

Hugs,
Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
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Online Dachshund

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #106 on: February 19, 2011, 11:54:30 PM »
Yeah, Hal, I was adding something relevant and possibly constructive. 

I actually think you could have if you would have deleted the first sentence.

Offline David_CA

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #107 on: February 20, 2011, 01:25:46 AM »
I actually think you could have if you would have deleted the first sentence.

I was referring to what I consider a lot of childlike 'behavior' from long-term members (not LTS's; I do want to make that distinction).  Often, the whole reason for thread gets lost into so many back-and-forths between members.  And, for the record, I did respond directly to the OP.   ;) 

At any rate, I think we're back on track.  Immediately after my diagnosis, I found these forums.  I was somewhat in a state of disbelief fearing the worst - would I be healthy, could I continue working, how could I tell my family, etc.  Many members responded positively to my concerns, which went a long way in helping me understand and, just as importantly, accept that I'm HIV+.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2011, 01:32:22 AM by David_NC »
Black Friday 03-03-2006
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06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #108 on: February 20, 2011, 02:09:06 AM »
Often, the whole reason for thread gets lost into so many back-and-forths between members. 

This is not a unique characteristic of this forum, it happens on any internet forum.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline wolfter

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #109 on: February 20, 2011, 05:49:09 AM »
I'm glad to see this post revert back to being POSITIVE.  Now lets all hold hands and sing Kum By Ya.  I'll even smoke a bowl with you all for the first time in ages just to intensify the affect. 

I'm still rebounding from my latest illness that almost obliterated me so I'm not back in the happy place yet.  Perhaps I'll experience a different feeling soon. 

I am happy to have lived long enough to see my favorite wine in box form.  I'm also grateful to finally drive again and am happy to visit Amish country where they make the best Amish wine in the world.  Buy 11 bottles and the 12th one is free. 

productivity breeds content

Offline thunter34

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #110 on: February 20, 2011, 10:19:20 AM »
I hadn't seen this thread since it first got started, and I just finished reading the entire thing.

I am slap wore out.

After all that reading, I feel like I ought to post something now just for the sake of it, so I'l plunk down what I started to say the other day before I had to scoot when I was trying to come up with some sort of shiny-happy contribution:

My diagnosis led me to these forums, and from there to meeting some truly beautiful people.  No wait.  Actually, it was my admiration for the writings of jkinatl that led me here...and I knew him previously from elsewhere on the web.

Never mind.



It was just going to be some off the cuff post, but it feels a little more significant of a statement  to me now.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #111 on: February 20, 2011, 11:29:39 AM »
Recently there have been 2 threads that started trying to be positive but ended up moving into a lot more complex history of HIV. I'd like everyone to just tell us of something positive that has happened in their life since dx, particularly if related to HIV.

Dot points appreciated. You don't have to explain it. It can be light hearted or something more profound. There are 1000's of people out there living happy, healthy lives. I'm sure some positively amazing things have happened to them that they can share, particularly with he newly dx.



- I got a free flu shot because of because of my immune system 'status'... and here I was thinking I'd have to wait till I was 65 to get a freebe.

- I'm closer to my mother then ever. We hugged for the first time in 15+ years.

- I respect myself.



1) I was able to meet some of the best people I've ever had the opportunity to know (here on the forums and at gatherings).

2) I've become a more caring person overall.

-Will
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #112 on: February 20, 2011, 11:59:23 AM »

2) I've become a more caring person overall.


Oh yeah, me too. I used to be a wretched little monster.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline WillyWump

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #113 on: February 20, 2011, 12:13:43 PM »
I used to be a wretched little monster.

No way.
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6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
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Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #114 on: February 20, 2011, 01:10:20 PM »
1) Have met some great, supportive people (perhaps, having HIV helped me better realize the importance of having supportive people in my life)
2) I don't take some things in life as seriously as I used to --- and other things I take more seriously (such as adherance to taking my meds)
3) I am less tolerant of bullshit in my life --- I don't have time to get caught up in other people's pity parties, etc.
4) I try to be more understanding of other people's situations, shortcomings, opinions (which seems like a contradiction with #3, but not tolerating bs in my life is different than being more understanding of other people being okay with it in theirs)
5) I am less quick to respond, more likely to listen

I'm sure there are other "positive" things that have come about as a result of me being diagnosed; although, I don't think that being HIV+ is a positive thing - it was rather the event and subsequent events that it brought about that may have resulted in some of the above happening.  I also think that there are many other life events that could have had the same results w/o having to be HIV+ and I also think that an insightful, introspective human could have probably achieved all of the above and then some w/o being HIV+.

With so many things that I have been through in my life - many pre-HIV - I have always tried to maintain a positive outlook - it hasn't always been easy and I am not always successful in doing so, but I do try .
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
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Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
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Offline AlanBama

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #115 on: February 20, 2011, 04:29:14 PM »
I hadn't seen this thread since it first got started, and I just finished reading the entire thing.

I am slap wore out.


Me too honey.   I'm sorry feelings got hurt in this thread, especially JK's.   He is one of the nicest, smartest, sweetest and genuine people you could ever hope to meet.

I stick mainly to the LTS forum nowadays; just feels more comfortable for me there.   Our experiences will never seem relevant to the newly diagnosed, and I get that.   It was a different world then.

Have a lot of positive things happened in my life since HIV diagnosis?  Certainly.    Did I miss a lot of positive things because of it?  Oh yeah.    Which tips the scale further?  That is what I will never know, and neither will many of the LTSers of AIDSmeds who didn't have the options available that newly diagnosed folks do today.   

Some positive things that have happened to me that would NOT have happened, if it were not for AIDS:   meeting some of the great people here, including Joe, JK, Thunter, DavidNC, Jan, Mark, RAB, Andy, jg,  and lots of others.  That's the best answer I can give about positive things "coming as a result of HIV".  But I have to weigh that positive experience against the one of meeting some great people who are no longer with us, like Daddy Tim, Lisa and Ric.   I'm sure glad I got to know all of them. But then I had (and continue to have) to endure the pain of losing them.

New people, please just understand that we carry a lot of pain around with us every day.  Physical, emotional, and psychological pain.   It does shitty stuff to you.

Alan
« Last Edit: February 20, 2011, 04:32:11 PM by AlanBama »
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #116 on: February 20, 2011, 05:41:36 PM »
Those are wise and caring words, Alan. xo

Andy
Andy Velez

Offline aztecan

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #117 on: February 20, 2011, 05:50:56 PM »
New people, please just understand that we carry a lot of pain around with us every day.  Physical, emotional, and psychological pain.   It does shitty stuff to you.

Alan

Well said, Alan.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Matt39

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #118 on: February 20, 2011, 05:59:52 PM »
New people, please just understand that we carry a lot of pain around with us every day.  Physical, emotional, and psychological pain.   It does shitty stuff to you.

Alan

Of course, and I am sure it is (or ought to be) appreciated that among some people new to this forum and indeed comparatively new to being poz (seven years is nothing I'm sure), might well have an awful lot of pain they are carrying around too: physical, emotional and psychological pain around the friends they've cared for and seen suffer and die.
Making assumptions about who has that baggage, who doesn't and who has 'more' of it is sometimes just so easy to do.

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #119 on: February 20, 2011, 06:25:51 PM »
One thing I have come to realize even more during the past 48 hours or so is that there is a lot of baggage being carried around by everyone. I guess its important that we all listen to each other and realize that our life experiences, although unfortunately similar, are also very different. We were raised differently, went to different schools, have faced tragedy or heartache and all react to it in different ways. It's doesn't make us right or wrong, it makes us human.

I have learned more about emotions and the pain of the soul than I probably wanted to during the past couple of days but it is a lesson well learned. As I have said before, for better and worse, we all own this bug, no one owns more than another but we can learn from the words each of us describe it with.

Thanks for listening...again.  :)
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Online Dachshund

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #120 on: February 20, 2011, 09:33:20 PM »
Of course, and I am sure it is (or ought to be) appreciated that among some people new to this forum and indeed comparatively new to being poz (seven years is nothing I'm sure), might well have an awful lot of pain they are carrying around too: physical, emotional and psychological pain around the friends they've cared for and seen suffer and die.
Making assumptions about who has that baggage, who doesn't and who has 'more' of it is sometimes just so easy to do.

Alan wasn't making assumptions. You are.

Offline bocker3

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #121 on: February 20, 2011, 10:59:20 PM »
Of course, and I am sure it is (or ought to be) appreciated that among some people new to this forum and indeed comparatively new to being poz (seven years is nothing I'm sure), might well have an awful lot of pain they are carrying around too: physical, emotional and psychological pain around the friends they've cared for and seen suffer and die.
Making assumptions about who has that baggage, who doesn't and who has 'more' of it is sometimes just so easy to do.

Not sure why you seem so offended here??  We really have to stop reading someone's post and getting all worked up at a perceived slight - then responding in a way that is likely to ignite (or in this thread - reignite) a flame. 
I certainly did no interpret Alan's, rather eloquent, post to say he has more "baggage" than anyone else.  We all have pain to deal with, but whether someone includes "your" pain when talking about "their" pain or not -- it doesn't mean they don't think it exists.  This isn't a contest -- it is life, live it without looking for offense where none exists.

Hugs,
Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
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Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #122 on: February 20, 2011, 11:42:31 PM »
@Mike > I just re-read that post and take it a little different. I am not reading offense into it, rather a statement of his feelings perhaps. It's easy to take things here out of context. I am guilty of it myself. I have not walked in your shoes and you have not walked in mine. The same can be said for everyone here. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees. There have been some eloquent things posted in this thread and some of them have come from what looked like a bitter fight that now, upon reflection, was a very eye and mind opening experience for me.

It's easy to make baggage assumptions just like it's easy to feel attacked sometime. Perception can be reality. I feel like I am rambling...I hope this makes sense.
MAY 2010
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Offline bocker3

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #123 on: February 21, 2011, 09:52:57 AM »
@Mike > I just re-read that post and take it a little different. I am not reading offense into it, rather a statement of his feelings perhaps. It's easy to take things here out of context. I am guilty of it myself. I have not walked in your shoes and you have not walked in mine. The same can be said for everyone here. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees. There have been some eloquent things posted in this thread and some of them have come from what looked like a bitter fight that now, upon reflection, was a very eye and mind opening experience for me.

It's easy to make baggage assumptions just like it's easy to feel attacked sometime. Perception can be reality. I feel like I am rambling...I hope this makes sense.

all I was trying to point out is that when someone is stating their reality and/or feelings -- just because it may not include you, does not mean someone is discounting your experience.  It is THEIR FEELINGS or THEIR EXPERIENCE -- taking offense at that is a little over the top.  If I talk about having blond hair (well, back when I did have hair), it doesn't include a discussion of people with red-hair, but I'm not discounting that redheads exist.  You see if you go looking for things that offend, you will easily find them.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
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Offline AlanBama

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #124 on: February 21, 2011, 11:10:44 AM »
Of course, and I am sure it is (or ought to be) appreciated that among some people new to this forum and indeed comparatively new to being poz (seven years is nothing I'm sure), might well have an awful lot of pain they are carrying around too: physical, emotional and psychological pain around the friends they've cared for and seen suffer and die.
Making assumptions about who has that baggage, who doesn't and who has 'more' of it is sometimes just so easy to do.
So Matt, THAT is the meaning you took from my post?  That I think I have more 'baggage' than others here?  Give me a break.   I know I am not a 'skilled writer', but it seems that some of y'all are just gunning for something to be P.O.'d about.  Why is that?
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Jeff G

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #125 on: February 21, 2011, 11:47:40 AM »
So Matt, THAT is the meaning you took from my post?  That I think I have more 'baggage' than others here?  Give me a break.   I know I am not a 'skilled writer', but it seems that some of y'all are just gunning for something to be P.O.'d about.  Why is that?

Those of us that know you Alan know and appreciate exactly what you are saying .

Offline aztecan

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #126 on: February 21, 2011, 12:03:06 PM »
Of course, and I am sure it is (or ought to be) appreciated that among some people new to this forum and indeed comparatively new to being poz (seven years is nothing I'm sure), might well have an awful lot of pain they are carrying around too: physical, emotional and psychological pain around the friends they've cared for and seen suffer and die.
Making assumptions about who has that baggage, who doesn't and who has 'more' of it is sometimes just so easy to do.

So Matt, how you could construe the above statement from what Alan said is beyond me.

If you knew Alan, you would know he is without doubt the kindest, most loving and most gentlemanly man you will ever meet.

I don't doubt you have luggage you are toting around, in fact, I would place money on it. Nobody is denigrating your experience, or lack thereof.

This isn't a competition.

But, if you have been positive for seven years, you could not share the same history as those who have been at it for 20 or 30 years.

Also, I don't know your age, but unless you are in your late 40s or older, it would be unrealistic to believe you have shared in the overwhelming loss of the first decade of AIDS.

This isn't a denigration or judgement, it is simple logic, because if you are any younger than that, you would have been a child at the time.

Your arguments have rapidly descended to the level of childishness that is unbecoming.


« Last Edit: February 21, 2011, 12:07:42 PM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
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Offline Matt39

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #127 on: February 21, 2011, 12:22:25 PM »
So Matt, how you could construe the above statement from what Alan said is beyond me.

If you knew Alan, you would know he is without doubt the kindest, most loving and most gentlemanly man you will ever meet.

I don't doubt you have luggage you are toting around, in fact, I would place money on it. Nobody is denigrating your experience, or lack thereof.

This isn't a competition.

But, if you have been positive for seven years, you could not share the same history as those who have been at it for 20 or 30 years.

Also, I don't know your age, but unless you are in your late 40s or older, it would be unrealistic to believe you have shared in the overwhelming loss of the first decade of AIDS.

This isn't a denigration or judgement, it is simple logic, because if you are any younger than that, you would have been a child at the time.

Your arguments have rapidly descended to the level of childishness that is unbecoming.




I am 53 and I consider myself fortunate not to have had to face being poz personally until 7 years ago.

But to suggest I can't understand what it is like to have been poz for 25 years+ is the kind of assumption that should simply not be made. I was first caring for someone just under 27 years ago, not the last, and I have friends who are similar age to you and similar, though not unique, experiences as yours.
I was also active in ACT-UP London, and 'OutRage' London during that time. And my experience of being very close to people who have suffered and died extends far beyond just London UK.

I did not 'attack' anyone for making assumptions, I merely commented on it. And it certainly did not make me 'angry' by any stretch of the imagination. And any 'attacks' on me, whether in this thread or any others don't make me 'angry' or particularly 'upset'. They have some background in the way in which some people handle fear and I hope for better for them in due course.

To suggest childishness is really more akin to you talking while looking in the mirror.

Best wishes

Matt
« Last Edit: February 21, 2011, 12:25:37 PM by Matt39 »

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #128 on: February 21, 2011, 12:43:24 PM »
I would gather that all of us have been dealing with POZ-related issues since this bitch virus (HIV/AIDS) stepped onto the scene when many of us where "chicken." One of my docs here in Houston was treating AIDS in New York back in the 80's. When he told me "we can reverse these numbers, don't worry about this" there was so much excitement in his voice, I could feel it.

He was projecting hope and comfort to someone diagnosed recently (last May) with the experience of someone who has been dealing with this for a very long time. The point I am making is, I have dealt with POZ related issues since the 80's as well. I think all of us have each in his or her own way. Some more and/or less than others. I am thinking everyone here has lost a lot because of this bug it's how we react and see it that is different.

It seems kind of easy to take offense when discussing HIV/AIDS and related issues. She  It seems to bring out raw bitterness quite often. What I am trying to understand is why and where this comes from and then I just have to look back at some of my own comments. She It fucks with my head, she it fucks with my body and she it is fucking with my life but at the end of the day...at least for now...I have her it fucked up.

I, for one, take offense with this nasty bitch virus that has invaded my cells, my DNA and is out to kill me and I try to remember that we are all fighting the same battle. Some can write eloquently, others not so much, but between the lines we are all in the same boat and I suspect trying to say the same things. Talking about it, venting, crying, getting pissed, celebrating good labs and talking about feeling good or feeling bad helps me wrap my brain around it.

Even though we will likely disagree on principle from time to time, I have not lost sight that I need this crowd and all of it's beauty and uhm even it's occasional nastiness and penchant for being offended.

**words crossed out but left for a greater understanding of something I just learned**
« Last Edit: February 21, 2011, 01:54:55 PM by drewm »
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline emeraldize

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #129 on: February 21, 2011, 01:03:05 PM »
Drewm --
I want to suggest that if personification of HIV is something that makes it easier for you to deal, could you refrain from making the virus a female and referring to it/her as a bitch? and that she fucks with your head? and that she is nasty? If you have to personify it, why not make it a dude, a bastard, a twink, a top that topped you, a bottom that sucked you in, a sheister, a con man, a motherfucker, a super shit, a cocksucker, a brainsucker, a life parasite. Or better yet, how about calling HIV a python, a scorpion, a tsnunami, an earthquake, an earth-size meteorite, or any one of a hundred alternates? Or you could put it in the purple-top tube it deserves labelled as HIV, a virus with no malice aforethought---just a virus.
Thank you.
Em

Offline AlanBama

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #130 on: February 21, 2011, 01:24:35 PM »
But to suggest I can't understand what it is like to have been poz for 25 years+ is the kind of assumption that should simply not be made. I was first caring for someone just under 27 years ago, not the last, and I have friends who are similar age to you and similar, though not unique, experiences as yours.

Again, you see why I mostly stick to the LTS forum.  This is one of the wildest things I have ever read posted in Living With....

"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Matt39

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #131 on: February 21, 2011, 01:33:07 PM »
Again, you see why I mostly stick to the LTS forum.  This is one of the wildest things I have ever read posted in Living With....



One option is to actually read and comprehend what it was in reply to.
The other - is to try and get out a bit more. :)

Online Dachshund

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #132 on: February 21, 2011, 01:33:54 PM »
Again, you see why I mostly stick to the LTS forum.  This is one of the wildest things I have ever read posted in Living With....



Alan we all know what it's about. Don't worry it will pass, like a fart in a wind storm. :-*

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #133 on: February 21, 2011, 01:36:23 PM »
Alan we all know what it's about. Don't worry it will pass, like a fart in a wind storm. :-*
I agree - but in the meantime, we are left smelling that foul smell  >:(
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #134 on: February 21, 2011, 01:50:54 PM »
Drewm --
I want to suggest that if personification of HIV is something that makes it easier for you to deal, could you refrain from making the virus a female and referring to it/her as a bitch? and that she fucks with your head? and that she is nasty? If you have to personify it, why not make it a dude, a bastard, a twink, a top that topped you, a bottom that sucked you in, a sheister, a con man, a motherfucker, a super shit, a cocksucker, a brainsucker, a life parasite. Or better yet, how about calling HIV a python, a scorpion, a tsnunami, an earthquake, an earth-size meteorite, or any one of a hundred alternates? Or you could put it in the purple-top tube it deserves labelled as HIV, a virus with no malice aforethought---just a virus.
Thank you.
Em

Agreed. Point well made, no offense intended  :)
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #135 on: February 21, 2011, 01:51:08 PM »
It's getting a bit crusty in here. I will just point out that this was originally billed to be a "positive positive thread."

I point no fingers and make no accusations at this point, but simply request if the thread can go back in that original direction.

Thanks.
Andy Velez

Offline emeraldize

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #136 on: February 21, 2011, 01:52:38 PM »
Thanks very much Drewm!

Offline drewm

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #137 on: February 21, 2011, 01:57:46 PM »
Thanks very much Drewm!

You are welcome and thanks for pointing out what should have been obvious. This was a "duh" moment for me. Again, my apologies!
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline anniebc

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #138 on: February 21, 2011, 02:40:21 PM »
Alan we all know what it's about. Don't worry it will pass, like a fart in a wind storm. :-*

Alan, Dachs is right...Matt39 is not worth worrying about, don't waste your time with him, it's been 8 years for me and already some things are not quite right, but I know the one's I will be relying on for support and advise..and Matt39 is not one of them.

 
I agree - but in the meantime, we are left smelling that foul smell  >:(
.

It's even reached here Phil..very unpleasant.

Aroha
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Matt39

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #139 on: February 21, 2011, 02:55:38 PM »
Alan, Dachs is right...Matt39 is not worth worrying about, don't waste your time with him, it's been 8 years for me and already some things are not quite right, but I know the one's I will be relying on for support and advise..and Matt39 is not one of them.


Negative energy, vexatious attitude - two things 'HIV' loves, if only you knew it.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #140 on: February 21, 2011, 03:03:47 PM »

Negative energy, vexatious attitude - two things 'HIV' loves, if only you knew it.
Citation from reputable research for the above statement please - otherwise, it is just opinion and we all know the saying about opinions.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #141 on: February 21, 2011, 03:40:24 PM »
Drewm --
I want to suggest that if personification of HIV is something that makes it easier for you to deal, could you refrain from making the virus a female and referring to it/her as a bitch? and that she fucks with your head? and that she is nasty? If you have to personify it, why not make it a dude, a bastard, a twink, a top that topped you, a bottom that sucked you in, a sheister, a con man, a motherfucker, a super shit, a cocksucker, a brainsucker, a life parasite. Or better yet, how about calling HIV a python, a scorpion, a tsnunami, an earthquake, an earth-size meteorite, or any one of a hundred alternates? Or you could put it in the purple-top tube it deserves labelled as HIV, a virus with no malice aforethought---just a virus.
Thank you.
Em

Agree, in solidarity with the women.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Joe K

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #142 on: February 21, 2011, 03:42:40 PM »
Negative energy, vexatious attitude - two things 'HIV' loves, if only you knew it.

What I know, is that it is impolite, to make assumptions about posts and state those assumptions as "fact". It is also impolite to slam folks who are merely trying to share their experiences, especially when they are solely their experiences. What I also know, is that until you start to show some respect, both for other members and different opinions, you will be unable to contribute anything of value, nor to learn a damn thing.

Offline Matt39

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #143 on: February 21, 2011, 04:08:37 PM »
None of your comments apply to anything I have posted so you are pissing in the wind as far as my contributions are concerned.

Offline thunter34

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #144 on: February 21, 2011, 04:15:52 PM »
None of your comments apply to anything I have posted so you are pissing in the wind as far as my contributions are concerned.

I have to wonder just how much support you expect to get from this support forum when you have been confrontation and insulting to every single poster you engaged so far.

But then I suspect that is more your aim anyway.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: A positive, positive thread
« Reply #145 on: February 21, 2011, 04:16:52 PM »
I don't see any need for this thread to continue as whatever purpose it might have served originally has gotten lost in disagreeable stuff.

So before it gets any uglier and with that in mind I am locking this thread.
Andy Velez

 


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