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Author Topic: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?  (Read 41279 times)

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Offline Ann

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #50 on: July 06, 2011, 10:19:55 AM »
since getting poorly i have been iagnosed with depression which is just an added to my feeling down and crappy, and the meds for depression are awful and have dodgy side effects like excessive weight gain and funnily enuff makin me feel more depressed, im starting anti virals meds next week

Hi Funky, welcome to the forums.

You mentioned in one of your other posts that you are starting to think about combos for treatment and you mentioned Atripla as being one of the possibilities.

With your pre-existing depression issues, Atripla may not be the best fit for you. The Sustiva component of Atripla is known for both causing depression, and also for making pre-existing depression worse.

There are other combos you can start with and I would urge you to discuss this with your doctor, reminding him about your depression and the well-known possible depressive side-effect of Sustiva. Personally, I will not take Sustiva for this reason.

I'm also in the UK - kinda-sorta. I live in the Isle of Man but I travel to the Royal in Liverpool for my hiv-related health care.

Ann
« Last Edit: July 06, 2011, 10:21:26 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline funkycj

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #51 on: July 06, 2011, 11:14:33 AM »
hi ann, my doctor sed they were 2 dif combos i cud take as first line treatment and briefly described the side efeects, atripla was one and the other was a combo of 4 different pills 2 b taken at dif intervals thru the day 4rm the NRTI's , im already takin several dif types of meds each day 4 other health problems and just sed i wud prefer 2 take the least amount of pills as i feel like a pill dispense atm, but if one of the meds in the atripla cud make my depression worse its worth thinkin bout the other pills, i have my pharmacist app nxt week and have been asked to take all my meds im currently on with me so mayb they will change the meds then if atripla wudnt be best suited, i cudnt deal with feelin n e more depressed than i have been recently so thanks for the advice, i just hope that if i do have to go with the other otion it isnt going to take longer to get the new prescription as i have been quite poorly for a while now and just want to start feeling better so i can start getting back on with my life and it just seems like such a drawn out process , many thanks for the info and advice tho and i will be sure to discuss these things with the pharmacist and update when i know more next week,
funkycj
Until the rainbow burns the stars out of the sky
Until the ocean covers every mountain high
Until the day that eight times eight times eight is four
Until the day that it's the day that I'm no more
Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Their acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarentee
That last through forever
Another day

Offline Ann

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #52 on: July 06, 2011, 11:46:44 AM »
Funky, there is another combo that is approved in the UK for first-line treatment and while it involves more than one pill it is only taken once a day - Reyataz 300mgs (more usually known by it's generic name - atazanavir - in the UK) boosted with 100mgs Norvir (aka ritonavir in the UK) plus Truvada (also a component of Atripla). It's the combo I plan to start with when it's time for me to start.

So it's three pills once a day. Some treatment naive people can take take two 200mgs Reyataz instead of boosting with Norvir, but that still comes out to three pills daily. At least it's only once a day.

I strongly recommend you rethink taking Atripla with your pre-existing depression issues. You probably need to know that a lot of doctors and/or pharmacists don't take the depression issues the can accompany Sustiva seriously - but they don't have to take the stuff and don't have first-hand experience. However, there are plenty of people who HAVE had first-hand experience and will tell you otherwise. There are quite a few people in these forums who have had this problem. Use the site's search engine to look for threads that mention Sustiva.

You can read more about the specific drugs involved by checking out our Treatments for HIV section. You might also want to check out the Lessons section. You'll find a wealth of information there and it's all written in plain, easy-to-understand English.

I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling progressively more and more poorly. Hopefully treatment will turn you around, but please learn about the various combos and do your best to make an informed choice. If whatever you choose first isn't a good fit, there are other combos you can try. Good luck and keep us posted.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline funkycj

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #53 on: July 08, 2011, 09:35:09 AM »
hey thanx for the information i am feeling much more in the know about the meds and the interactions with other meds and health problems, i am going to have a long chat with the pharmacist and discuss the issues which u raised and gave me info on, i wouldnt have known this stuff if it werent for yourelf and other posts, i shall not only be taking a list of my current meds but a list of questions and meds that may be more suited, coz i wanna feel better over time not bloody worse, its hard aswel becoz you dont get much time with the specialist doctor so they arent aware of other health issues that the GP deals with and even tho you try and discuss this with them you dont get much time at the app and plus theres other things weighing on your mind like VL and CD4 and other health problems that cud b or r directly due to the HIV which need discusssing, its a long drawn out process but hopefully will get better after starting meds, i shall keep you posted on wat and how the treatemnt is, many thnax for your advie and info you provided i really apreciate it :)
funkycj
Until the rainbow burns the stars out of the sky
Until the ocean covers every mountain high
Until the day that eight times eight times eight is four
Until the day that it's the day that I'm no more
Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Their acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarentee
That last through forever
Another day

Offline Ann

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #54 on: July 08, 2011, 09:44:24 AM »
You're welcome, Funky. That's what we're here for! :)

It's a great idea to take a list of your current meds as well as a list of questions. It's soooo easy to forget everything you want to ask. Make sure you write the answers down too - I can't tell you the amount of times I neglected to do that and forgot the answer as soon as I left the office.

Good luck and let us know how the discussion with the pharmacist goes.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matt39

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #55 on: July 09, 2011, 11:39:45 PM »
its hard aswel becoz you dont get much time with the specialist doctor so they arent aware of other health issues that the GP deals with and even tho you try and discuss this with them you dont get much time at the app

Hi funkycj

I see you are in the UK but I don't know where. However, I can say that at my HIV clinic in London the appointment time with my HIV Consultant is always a minimum of a half hour (that's twice as long as the most generous appointment time with a GP) and my clinic never refuse if I ask in advance for a 'double' appointment, ie one full hour. So I suggest you request that if you feel you need it.
The other thing is that if you have given consent to your HIV Clinic to share information with your GP, it can also work the other way too and you can request your GP to copy notes of any consultation to your HIV Clinic.
I do appreciate that outside of London and a small number of big cities, the choice of HIV Clinic is limited but, if you are in London and you request a longer HIV Specialist appointment time and your current clinic refuse it or make it difficult, then you could investigate changing clinics. They know very well that the 'money' for your patient treatment 'follows' you.

Good luck

Offline funkycj

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #56 on: July 14, 2011, 09:01:27 AM »
hi i am in brighton so we have one of he best clinics in britain but its a very buizy clinic so app's dont always seem to last very long now i am taking meds i think that i shall always go there and make sure i go thriough everything that needs answering , the staff there are nice but i suppose its not nice going to the clinic and dont always go there with all the questions i want answering, but  shall do in future, and since starting teh meds i will have more frequent apps so can make sure i dont miss out on any info i need, thanx for the advice anyways and its also good to know that when i go visit family i can go to the local hospital to pick up my prescription if need be,
and ann thanx so much for your advice i didnt start the atripla meds as i didnt want my depression to get any worse so i was put on the tenofoir, ritonavior, darunavir and emtricitabine combonation, its day 3 of taking me meds now, and today is a little better than the past 2 days, i just feel extremely tired, sick and very upset stomach more so than usual but not to much more than usual so i think this combination is the best at the moment to get my levels up and the viral infectiosn away then i can concentrate on getting my life back, which i cant wait for as this past year has been so crap , when you start meds if you suffer with depression i would suggest starting the combo i am on as it hasnt made my mood any worse than before , and the side effects arent to nice but not as bad as i though they would be so it seems that its ok at the moment , thanx very much for the advce adn shall keep posted on how the treatment is going
funky
Until the rainbow burns the stars out of the sky
Until the ocean covers every mountain high
Until the day that eight times eight times eight is four
Until the day that it's the day that I'm no more
Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Their acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarentee
That last through forever
Another day

Offline catlover

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #57 on: July 19, 2011, 11:15:07 PM »
This is my first post here.  I've been positive since March of 2006, on meds since 2008, great counts & undetectable.  Side effects from the meds make me somewhat reclusive - when I have one of what I call my "diarrhea days" I don't leave the house - for obvious reasons.  I also live in a relatively small town, and somehow quite a few people know my status, and there is a lot of ignorance in this community - in regards to how this virus can and cannot be acquired.  I've become more and more open about my status, but am still very very careful about who I disclose to, because I have a 14 year old child, and I would not want her to be ostracized at school, or to have inappropriate comments directed her way.  She has enough trouble fitting in and that would really be an obstacle for her.  So, bottom line - yes and no.  I go to an annual retreat put on by my ASO, and I can really be myself for those 3 days.  The rest of the time, HIV is my little secret.
Has anyone had any success on any HIV+ dating sites?  I am soon to be divorced, and having difficulty finding anyone to even talk to.

Offline BubbaPat

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #58 on: October 07, 2011, 09:36:04 AM »
Howdy thunter34!!

I used to think of myself as a very outward person and to some point, I still am but I too have noticed a change since being diagnosed.  Notice, its the diagnosis, not necessarily the HIV.

As you're read, there are many people affected by this so you're not alone.  Also by what you've read here, its a lot about who you hangout with, why you hangout them and where.

Used to I'd talk to anyone and make friends no matter how anxious I was in talking to them.  I figured if they stuck around, great, if not, well it was fun while it lasted.  Nowadays, I don't want to give people my energy unless they're going to hang around.

Not sure if this help but just know you're not the only one.

bubba hugs!
Patrick
Bubba hugs!
Patrick

Offline AsOne

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #59 on: February 04, 2012, 07:09:43 PM »
...
hi thunter34 - good post !
i like weasel-Carl's response - basically I'm free to do what I want
I'm male, 47, hiv for 15 years

I do a heart-level unity consciousness meditation overnight (nightly)
I just intend / visualize my surplus of energy connected with the core of the planet, the sun,  the galaxy,  the Universe and the Infinite
I start it before i go to bed and close it when i get up in the morning
this "recharges my batteries" to face the duality of our shared world each day

i've done this since early 2011 and it has helped me feel a sense of simplified purpose
it's just a tiny recalibration but it's made a huge difference
i share it in a spirit of empathy with all who have posted on this thread

((( hugs )))
« Last Edit: February 04, 2012, 07:39:22 PM by AsOne »

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #60 on: February 04, 2012, 10:46:17 PM »
No...what made me reclusive was depression that had been building since my early 20s. The changes were noticeable to everyone but me. My NYC friends said that they could remember when I was very outgoing when they first met me but in the space of 20 years here...I reached the point where I seldom went out. It was a great concern to my friends but I brushed it off as I was just tired of bars.

Now that I'm on psych meds I've been eager to get out and meet people. I lost 30 years of my life to depression. Being HIV+ just is...it's not going to stop me from socializing/dating/etc. now that I have my life back.
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline alberche

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #61 on: February 19, 2012, 04:14:41 PM »
This is going to be my sixth year living with HIV and, yes, I have become more reclusive.

It is true I have changed of work a couple of times and have not too much time for free, I also live in the suburbs and my friends and cultural activities are in city center, some one hour by train or car from home. As I get home so tired, and so late, I have no energy to go out again. With the passing of the time you think you get used to it, but what you get is bored, and tired again. So, it works in a kind of feedback.

Also, since one year or so I am feeling fatigue and lack of energy, I think due to meds, because my hormone levels (testosterone and tyroides), minerals and vitamins, are normal in all the last labs. But maybe also it is due to lack of motivation in work and in the rest of activities in my daily life. I don't know. My doc seems not being too worried about, since my labs are great so far.

Maybe it is some kind of message my mind and body are sending me in the sense I have to make some changes in my life. Maybe. I talked about this with a psychiatrist last year, and also with a psychologist at the hospital, but they were very unspecific and were not much of an aid for me.

So I am trying to sleep more, to rest a bit more and to take it as it comes; and also, a wait and see approach, rather to feeling worried or stressed about it. I don't think I am depressed, but only that I am now paying all efforts I did in the very first moments after being infected to cope with all this, keep working and trying my life wasn't too much wiped out by the fact of living with HIV. Fortunately, I feel good in my own skin and being at home, just resting listening to music or watching a good movie is OK for me.
love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

Offline MarkB

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #62 on: February 19, 2012, 05:20:50 PM »
Yes. Definitely.

And while it would be nice in some ways to have someone in my life, I don't think it's ever going to happen. But I do have about a million books to read, and great country to walk in.

Offline SANJUANDUDE

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #63 on: February 19, 2012, 05:36:02 PM »
YES!!!!!  HIV has made me very reclusive.  My doctor has prescribed Paxil for me, but I have yet to take it.  I have an aversion to taking stuff like that.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2012, 05:45:41 PM by SANJUANDUDE »
10/2011-CD-4-598-Undetectable
01/2012-CD-4-758-Undetectable
04/2012-CD$-780-70 Viral Load
08-2012-CD4-846--20 viral load
02/2013-CD$ 865----20 Undetectable Viral Load
08/2013- CD4-898----<20 undetectable viral load

Offline osric

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #64 on: February 20, 2012, 09:53:13 AM »
Quote from: thunter34
There are people who have been trying to make contact with me - some of them right here on this forum - that I felt panicked about for no damn good reason.  I know this on a rational level...yet still lock into that same pattern.

Have others here felt anything like this at all?  Do you attribute it mostly to a shyness or BPMD thing, or do you see it as some sort of HIV initiated thing or what?

I've definitely started isolating more. I experience a severe social anxiety -- it started when a whole series of life changes and meds al problems happened in 2008, and got significantly worse after my recent diagnosis.

When it's really bad -- like it is right now -- I spend a lot of time online but don't read responses to posts, don't answer my phone, avoid emails from some people, and only leave the house for specific trips for groceries or cigarettes.

I have some people I feel perfectly fine with, and I can function on trips and in some situations where I feel safe. It's when I'm at home that it's the worst; I even hide from my roommates.

My doc has tried medication and I'm in therapy, but not much has helped. It got worse after HIV, but for me it wasn't the cause.

I miss going out and spending time with friends.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #65 on: February 20, 2012, 11:12:58 AM »
Is The Walking Dead back?  Where the hell is Sharkie when I need him to take out some zombies?
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline TexasPOZ

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #66 on: March 12, 2012, 04:27:07 AM »
I find it very interesting that you posted that. Yes, having HIV has made me more reclusive, and I never thought about it until I read your post. What I've found is that I just want to stay home more and not go out and deal with people. Sometimes it feels like it's just too much effort to pick up the phone, dial a number, and talk to a friend. I don't like making plans with people because I don't know how I'm going to feel when the day comes to do whatever we planned. If I'm feeling good, then yeah I want to call someone up and go do something, but by then they already have plans of their own. So I find myself going to restaurants alone, going to have coffee alone, going to the movies alone. And it doesn't bother me. This disease affects so much more than t-cells. You really gave me something to think about with your post. Thanks. Take care and best wishes for you.

Offline forrest

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #67 on: March 12, 2012, 10:59:17 PM »
I find it very interesting that you posted that. Yes, having HIV has made me more reclusive, and I never thought about it until I read your post. What I've found is that I just want to stay home more and not go out and deal with people. Sometimes it feels like it's just too much effort to pick up the phone, dial a number, and talk to a friend. I don't like making plans with people because I don't know how I'm going to feel when the day comes to do whatever we planned. If I'm feeling good, then yeah I want to call someone up and go do something, but by then they already have plans of their own. So I find myself going to restaurants alone, going to have coffee alone, going to the movies alone. And it doesn't bother me. This disease affects so much more than t-cells. You really gave me something to think about with your post. Thanks. Take care and best wishes for you.

Ditto!!!!!!

Although, I don't even want to go out and to things on my own.  It takes all the energy I have to just go to work (which I totally loathe and hate) and have no energy when I get home. I don't even like to be around people any more. Someone calls me, I just let it go to vm because I don't want the contact. However, what I truly deeply desire IS that contact!! How effed up is that? I am still coming to terms with it all I think... but it's been nearly a year and I don't feel like I have progressed at all   :( Probably a whole different topic... but yeah...  I totally am reclusive now.  :(
2011-03-26:  Tested Positive

Date           |VL        |CD4 |4%  |CD8 |8%  |C4:C8
2011-04-06 |48,653 |603 |32.0 |646 |35.0 |0.61
2011-05-23 |64,324 |577 |36.0 |576 |36.0 |1.00
2011-08-02 |18,319 |574 |36.3 |587 |37.2 |0.98
2011-12-06 |10,375 |480 |30.1 |616 |38.7 |0.78
2012-02-22 |  9,674 |570 |33.6 |655 |38.7 |0.87
2012-05-04 |  8,439 |559 |30.4 |706 |38.4 |0.79

Offline Torchwood

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #68 on: March 16, 2012, 08:28:23 AM »
I am in the No Category. During the first year of intense rage and anger, nothing changed. As my VL started climbing I started taking up hobbies that I didn't think I would ever be able to do as a POZ. I continued with these activities as my VL climbed up. I went through the 3+ years of pain with my ankle (Dr. said it was possible my ankle wasn't healing because of the HIV). As I started to get close to the limits I had set for myself I had increased anxiety and depression. I started telling close friends of mine that I was POZ. I took up new hobbies thinking that there was no way in hell I was ever going to race a car again while being on medication.

Back Story: Back in 2006 I was going to get my USCG Captains License. I was flat out told "No" by the USGC because I was POZ and some of the meds could cause seizures. I lived with this bullshit until last year. Checked the current USCG requirements and that is no longer their backwards attitude. So since 2006-2011 I was under the impression that I could no longer do the potentially dangerous activities/sports I had enjoyed for so long as soon as I started meds.

I am currently on meds and have way too many damned hobbies all due to the USCG. For being the fat bastard I am, one would never guess that I am almost a Dive Master, Rescue Diver, Race Car Driver, Baja Racer, Motorcycle Rider, Rower (practicing for an ocean row boat race), and Boat Captain.

My point being...You do not have to become reclusive. In my case, I still plan on living forever (or at least to be a very old man), it has brought me out of my shell to start doing the things in life I have always wanted to do. In the process, I have made some great friends out of my hobbies who are comfortable with my POZ.
Discovered 4/2006
VL: 1600
CD4: 1005
Started Complera 10/2011
VL: 48,500
CD4: 570
1/17/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 890
4/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 895
11/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 1193
4/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 1461
11/13
CD4: 1273
VL: Undetectable
5/14
CD4: 1788
VL: Undetectable

Offline Rhaegar

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #69 on: March 27, 2012, 02:40:34 AM »
I definitely have noticed that I stay in more.  Like someone mentioned above, it seems like a lot of the activities my friends are into involve bars or drinking, and that really doesn't appeal to me anymore.  It also doesn't help that I live in northern manhattan, "far" from my friends in other neighborhoods or boroughs.

I'm totally an introvert.  I work in healthcare, so I'm constantly around people.  It takes its toll and I all I want to after work is curl up on my couch with a book.  My dog keeps me company.

05/19/2011: Diagnosed.  CD4 159   VL 284,000.
04/29/2013:  CD4 789,   VL <20

Offline Flugufrelsarinn

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #70 on: April 13, 2012, 02:43:46 AM »
Nei, I haven't become reclusive from the medication, but from my ex. 

The only reason why I don't go outside of work much, make plans is not from an addiction to the internet, but because I wasn't allowed to see a majority of my friends from when I was with my ex a year back.  I'm attempting to change that, as of now.

I'm not afraid to go outside either, but due to the past and now because of taking the medication, on most days I feel lazy, sleepy and inconfident.  I'm starting to get better, and take random walks around downtown, but at the same time, I hate asking people if they would like to come for a walk or coffee, because I hate disturbing others, as I hate being disturbed myself.

I'm always up for a beer, but I don't want to drink much anymore.
etta er gtis byrjun.

Offline nursepoz24

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #71 on: April 16, 2012, 09:29:48 AM »
it made me more reclusive. always want to go home early. :(

Offline Rockin

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #72 on: July 04, 2012, 02:24:52 AM »
Well, just to change the mood a little, I still drink like a bastard. I do get some bad hangovers sometimes but I can`t tell if its because of the virus.

HIV did not change my habits at all. If Im reclusive sometimes its due to a shortage in money  ;D

Offline Gomenasai

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #73 on: July 06, 2012, 09:04:00 PM »
I have always been an indoors guy, but the HIV changed the way i relate with people and i rather be alone than next to the wrong ones.

Offline Mishma

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #74 on: August 01, 2012, 02:39:18 PM »
Yes
2016 CD4 25% UD (less than 20). 27+ years positive. Isentress, Truvada, Acyclovir, Clonazepam, Zolpidem, Bupropion, Lisinopril, Pravastatin, Quetiapine, Doxcycline, Testosterone, Suatriptan/Naproxen, Restasis, Dorzolamide, Latanoprost, Asprin, lortab, Levothyroxine, Fioricet, Restasis, Triamclinolone, Nitrostat.

Offline Common_ground

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #75 on: August 01, 2012, 04:10:41 PM »
No, but I enjoy being alone more, not that I am annoyed by the company of others but HIV forced me to make peace with who I really am and I am no longer as restless as I were before.I also learned to value and appreciate things that really matters.

I also feel less stressed out after being dxd HIV, before I was the type of guy who had tons of "what ifs" and worries for nothing, sweating the small stuff, but since the HIV bomb dropped down on me it made me realize that everything is not in my hands.
In some situations when I feel stressed out I just think of HIV and that things can go either way, it makes me relaxed.

Dont know if this is odd thinking, but Im "only" 27 and poz for a couple of months.
2011 May - Neg.
2012 June CD4:205, 16% VL:2676 Start Truvada/Stocrin
2012 July  CD4:234, 18% VL:88
2012 Sep  CD4:238, 17% VL:UD
2013 Feb  CD4:257, 24% VL:UD -viramune/truvada
2013 May CD4:276, 26% VL:UD

Offline Bbnb

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #76 on: August 12, 2012, 05:43:36 PM »
I don't believe the HIV has made me more reclusive.  I do have my moments where I want to stay home and shut myself away but that was true before my diagnosis. 

I still go out with friends , activities, meet new friends, etc. 
Just looking to socialized with like minded people.

Offline Alan_B

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #77 on: August 13, 2012, 03:24:10 PM »
I think it has done, by knocking my confidence (I was never confident before anyway). I dont like big social things anymore, and havnt been to a club either.

I simply fear the rejection which is inevitable in alot of cases. (romantically speaking)
Diagnosed - 01 Dec 2011 cd4 500
                  17 Jan 2012 cd4 520 vl 250k
                  02 Feb 2012 cd4 490 16% vl 167k - atripla
                  28 Jun 2012 cd4 610 24% vl 75
                       Jul 2012 cd4 870     Changed meds
                      Aug 2012 cd4 660 UD
                      Nov 2012 cd4 640 UD

"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex; they should draw the line at goats."  ~ Sir Elton John

Offline Rockin

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #78 on: August 14, 2012, 09:56:59 AM »
since the HIV bomb dropped down on me it made me realize that everything is not in my hands.
In some situations when I feel stressed out I just think of HIV and that things can go either way, it makes me relaxed.

That right there...I feel the same way. I would even dare to say that 90% of my life is not in my control, as much as i try to. Some people freak out when they think about it but I actually feel more relaxed. I try to make my own decisions and to steer my life to the direction I want, but I have the wisdom to know that anything can happen.  And I do not plan that far ahead. I'm living in the present and the near future.

Offline Kris country

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #79 on: August 20, 2012, 08:11:55 AM »
o hell

I thought this was me LOL

I have spent as much time hiding away from friends family-- i thougnt i was the only one.. I asked my dr is this normal
she didnt have anythin to say....

it is confidence...i never had much anyway..

it took me even 2 months to have the balls to join this site..

I am glad I am not alone in this...


Offline AnonymousGuy

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #80 on: August 20, 2012, 07:05:55 PM »
   I have always been introverted in the past.  My mouth isn't going a mile a minute trying to tell someone every little thing that runs through my mind.  I'm just not like that.  At parties when friends are mingling and roaming around, I seem to find myself most comfortable sitting and observing, and not really being an active part of what's going on.
   Since I was diagnosed with HIV, it's gotten worse, though.  It seems that I don't trust anyone much farther than I can throw them.  I tried to be outgoing and generous in previous situations, but always seemed to get burned.
   As far as sex is considered, I generally don't have it anymore.  I prefer to be alone for that.  A huge part of that is my feeling about my HIV status.  I know that I"m damaged goods, and if I'm not careful, I could spread this to a sex partner.  I don't want to have that on my shoulders, so I avoid it.
   Overall, my status is a secret.  Only a  handful of people know about it, and that's how I want it to be.  My family has no idea at all.  Only one person at work knows, and that's because she insisted I tell her what was bothering me so deeply.  Only one person in church knew, and he's passed away now.  Two of my friends know because one of them is in the "in" crowd of HIV pos people.  I have a half brother who is positive, but doesn't know that I am.  So, I am really dealing with this alone.  Sometimes I wish it would all go away.  Sometimes I want to go back 18 years and take better precautions to stay negative.  Sometimes I want to end it all. But none of those things will come to pass.  I just keep pressing on day to day, and wait for it all to be over.
Taking so many pills every day for the rest of my life is a real downer.  You don't realize how demanding that is to keep track of until you have to do it yourself.  My mom had medical problems for many, many years, and took pills every day.  I feel like her, now.
Well, I just wanted to add my 2 cents to your list of replies.  Thanks for asking.
Positive since Feb, 1994.

662 T cells 11/14/12

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #81 on: August 20, 2012, 07:30:07 PM »

Taking so many pills every day for the rest of my life is a real downer.  You don't realize how demanding that is to keep track of until you have to do it yourself.  My mom had medical problems for many, many years, and took pills every day.  I feel like her, now.
Well, I just wanted to add my 2 cents to your list of replies.  Thanks for asking.

I'm not making light of what you're dealing with.  I was under the impression that you are switching regimens because you were asking questions about the side effects of Epzicom.

Even so, it's not like you're gonna be on thousands of pills if you do start this specific regimen.  I've been on Epzicom for years and the only other antiviral I take in combination with it is Sustiva and I take both of them at bedtime.

If you don't mind me asking, what other pills are you taking in order to feel that you will be on so many for the remainder of your life?
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #82 on: August 20, 2012, 07:34:37 PM »
I could take both of my +75 y.o. parents together, and their pills, triple both of them, and it still be less than half of what I've taken since I was in my late 20's.
"Ive slept with enough men to know that Im not gay"

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #83 on: August 20, 2012, 07:44:12 PM »
AG:

I just went back and re-read your latest post again.  I'm just wondering if you've ever thought about maybe speaking with someone because it seems like harboring the fact that you're poz is really having a profound effect upon you. And because you have so much contained inside (without being able to release it -- not saying that you have to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone) -- you're focusing on things that really shouldn't be major issues: like the number of pills you have to take to control your hiv.

You're not treatment naive, so I don't understand any anxiety you might have over having to take meds.  Maybe you can offer a bit more insight?

If I didn't know any better, it seems like you have a lot of anxiety over the fact that you can't turn back the clock and wave a magic wand to become neg again -- and somehow because of this, you feel you are tainted and that is adding to the burden of what you're dealing with.

Even if you don't end up speaking to someone professionally, it might help to just post to these forums and be "heard" by the other members here -- to get things out in the open, if you will.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2012, 08:13:29 PM by Solo_LTSurvivor »
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline thunter34

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #84 on: August 20, 2012, 08:32:36 PM »
I swig down 7 pills a day - including psyche pills - but it is still just once a day dosing to my mind, so the actual number of pills is almost irrelevent to me.  Another thing about it is this:  I've long since gotten in the swing of it when it comes to meds.  The bottle is grabbed almost without thought first thing in the morning just as routinely as socks are put on, and they are swigged down with the coffee and juice at breakfast.  Done.  For the day. 

I'm not trying to minimize that the drugs are potent.  They are.  But today's meds and the dosing is nowhere near the old days of setting your clocks to go off every 4 hours around the clock, day and night - or else.  Now THAT was work...and fortunately nothing I had to deal with.  The point I'm making is that after awhile dosing has been incorporated into my "new normal" and I give very little thought to that particular part of it.  (I worry far more about keeping the supply coming!)

I get where you are coming from, AG.  I have experienced brief "meds fatigue" at one point, but quickly got past it.  The far bigger problem - that Solo hit - is that you are slogging through this virtually alone.  For 18 years??  Wow.  You've got to break that solitude.  It's not good for the soul to have to bear burdensome secrets like that.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Rockin

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #85 on: August 21, 2012, 05:27:17 PM »
Two of my friends know because one of them is in the "in" crowd of HIV pos people.  I have a half brother who is positive, but doesn't know that I am.  So, I am really dealing with this alone.  Sometimes I wish it would all go away. 

What is the "in" crowd of HIV pos people? Rich pozzies or something?

And you say you have a half brother who is also positive. Why not tell him about you're status then? Wouldn't it be nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through?

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #86 on: August 21, 2012, 05:36:20 PM »

And you say you have a half brother who is also positive. Why not tell him about you're status then? Wouldn't it be nice to talk to someone who understands what you are going through?

The short answer: NO.

Hi everyone.
  I spoke to my dr. today about starting the new drug, and he assured me that since I passed the hypersensitivity test I should have no problem with the long list of possible allergic reactions.  He also told me that the SE of the drug shouldn't be a problem either.  So I'm taking his word for it that the transition will be a fairly smooth one.  In a month or so, I will let you all know how it's going... hopefully all will be ok.
  Thanks to all you nice people who responded to my post.  It may well be that this forum site will prove to be a welcome place to drop by for updates and things like that.  I'm not comfortable talking about this stuff in person to friends (and NEVER to family) so this will be the place where I ask for help or a shoulder or whatever I need to get over the latest hurdle.
  Till next time,

A B
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #87 on: August 28, 2012, 12:35:58 AM »
Yes.  My reply would be too long, if I went into too many details.  I'll just say it has changed me.  I do believe the biggest issue is depression and anxiety.  I just don't feel at peace.     

Offline Valmont

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #88 on: September 03, 2012, 04:49:40 PM »
No, but sometimes, it is hard for me to deal with light conversations, sound for me that many neg people are not able to deal with simple problems, it made me feel a little insensible maybe and I dont have a lot of patience with that, but did not made me reclusive...

Since I have HIV, I decided to get the entire control of my life and enjoying it.  I have always had little friends, but I like to meet new people.  I have many plans at short and long sight...

And the most important has been always to be able to do anything that makes me forget about my HIV, the worst I can do is to be alone or not doing anything... 
Apr 2011: Diagnotized
Jun 2011: CD4: 504  VL: 176.000
Dic 2011: CD4: 714  VL: 95.000
May 2012: CD4: 395 VL: 67.000
Jun 2012: CD4: 367
Agu 2012: Starting Emtricitabine 200 mg / Tenofovir 300 mg and Efavirenz 600 mg (2 pills) different brands or VIRADAY/ATRIPLA/Mylan....
Sep 2012: VL: 138
Dic 2012: CD4: 708 VL: <34  %CD4: 32%
Jan 2013: CD4: 707 VL: <20
May 2013: CD4: 945 VL: <34 %CD4: 33%
Agu 2013: CD4: 636 VL: <34 %CD4: 50%
Dic 2013: Latent TB, started Isoniazid

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #89 on: September 25, 2012, 10:24:38 AM »
I don't know if it is HIV, age or what but I have an increasing desire to isolate. It seems the more time I spend on forums like this one the more alienated I feel. I enjoy my friends in real life but online comments seem to be wearing me down more than enriching my life. I'm very happy when I am not online. Facebook is particularly irritating. I have never liked Facebook because it is the online equivalent of small talk and chit chat, which I find useless. I read comments on various forums and it becomes increasingly obvious I don't think the way most people do. I feel like the only thing I have in common with the members of this forum is a virus. I already stop participating in another forum, not related to HIV, because people were so cynical and critical I couldn't take it, with topics like "Is it ethical to sacrifice your children in order to win wars?"  I want to delete my Facebook account and stop participating in my online forums but I know isolating generally isn't healthy. I used to not get so annoyed and I have been unable to identify what in my thought process has changed. I am vacillating between ending all online social networking or staying and developing new coping strategies.

Offline RemyG1971

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #90 on: September 30, 2012, 09:29:40 AM »
I have always been a private person and only hung around the same people for quite a while. I still do the things I do, I surf as much as work allows, I never go to Bars/Clubs (I dont drink so these never appealed to me in the first place). I would have to answer YES & NO.  :o

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #91 on: September 30, 2012, 10:37:22 AM »
I don't know if it is HIV, age or what but I have an increasing desire to isolate. It seems the more time I spend on forums like this one the more alienated I feel. I enjoy my friends in real life but online comments seem to be wearing me down more than enriching my life. I'm very happy when I am not online. Facebook is particularly irritating. I have never liked Facebook because it is the online equivalent of small talk and chit chat, which I find useless. I read comments on various forums and it becomes increasingly obvious I don't think the way most people do. I feel like the only thing I have in common with the members of this forum is a virus. I already stop participating in another forum, not related to HIV, because people were so cynical and critical I couldn't take it, with topics like "Is it ethical to sacrifice your children in order to win wars?"  I want to delete my Facebook account and stop participating in my online forums but I know isolating generally isn't healthy. I used to not get so annoyed and I have been unable to identify what in my thought process has changed. I am vacillating between ending all online social networking or staying and developing new coping strategies.

Wow Ford, I can relate to this so much...  Whether it's facebook, family, friends, or work -- I just don't seem to have time for the negativity.  My facebook account is probably only active to remain current with what is going on with three people.

I think I have become a better husband and father, so perhaps that's more of a cause than anything.  The time spent online has dwindled and the trade off has been more quality time for self and others important to me.

As I'm getting older I notice the months just seem to fly off the table..... I am realizing just how short this life is and how precious time can be.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Has HIV Made You Reclusive?
« Reply #92 on: September 30, 2012, 10:46:21 AM »

As I'm getting older I notice the months just seem to fly off the table..... I am realizing just how short this life is and how precious time can be.

I identify with this big time as well as what Ford shared .

 


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