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Author Topic: Fearful and confused  (Read 4026 times)

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Offline clyde

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Fearful and confused
« on: February 14, 2011, 04:34:24 PM »
Recently had oral both fellatio and cunnilingus with a woman who I have no knowledge of status (she claimed to have no STD's). Fellatio had me cum in her mouth. After I performed cunnilingus on her for a few minutes, she informed me she was wearing a tampon and was finishing her period. I didn't notice any blood but now I'm fearful.   
Questions:
1. could I have contacted HIV from this cunnilingus activity?
2. do you recommend I get tested for HIV for this activity?
3. conflicting reports on cunnilingus?..some say no risk, some say low risk..what is the real deal? Are the cases mentioned docummented or just theoretical?

Ann, Andy, and others please rerspond. Thank you for your kind work here, it is well appreciated.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2011, 05:38:17 PM »
There is NO RISK in either of the scenarios you described.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2011, 10:06:23 PM »
In the entire history of the epidemic no guy has ever been confirmed to have become infected through receiving a blowjob. It's safe to say you won't make history by becoming the first.

As for giving oral, your saliva has over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

I don't see any reason for HIV testing nor for further concern on your part about this incident.

We do in general recommend that anyone who is active sexually ought to at least annually have a full STD panel done as other STDs are easier to acquire than HIV.

This time I don't see any problem for you about HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2011, 10:47:48 AM »
Andy and JK..thank you for your responses. Andy, since you said I'd make history with HIV infection after a BJ, would you say the same after my performing cunnilingus? I know..stupid question but I'm really fearful. Again, no need to worry for HIV infection?  No need to test for HIV?
Ann, your response too if possible?
Thank you for your patience.

Offline Ann

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2011, 12:20:06 PM »
Clyde,

As you have been told, you have not had a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

Here's what you need in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER THE ORAL ACTIVITIES YOU LIST, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline clyde

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Cunnilingus and Rash on chest
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2011, 04:22:13 PM »
 Had cunnilingus several weeks ago with a woman, not sure of her status (she said, she had no STD's). She was nearing the end of her period and was wearing a tampon. I've developed a very slight, faded rqash on my upper chest and near collarbone area (no pimples or raised marks). It's been only a few weeks from this exposure, so it's too early for a test.
Could I have contacted HIV from this exposure?
How about the rash?...could it be HIV related?
do I need testing? or am I being overly fearful?...PLEASE HELP..thank you.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Cunnilingus and Rash on chest
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2011, 04:45:39 PM »
You must keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and allows us to give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2011, 04:53:15 PM »
Clyde, I have merged your threads here. As Matty has mentioned you should keep any entries you write in this same thread. That's a rule of the site.

As for your latest concern, your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV if it is present during oral sex.

If you have a rash that is something to discuss with your doctor. I don't see any need for HIV testing this time nor for further concern about HIV in relation to this incident.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2011, 05:08:27 PM »
Thank you Andy. Couldd you explain what the HIV rash is, since I've seen it described on other sites as an
HIV symptom. Is it splotches? raised lesions, pimples, or something else? Ann or others please add to this.
Do you all agree that I need not worry about HIV  and need no HIV testing?  Thank you so much.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2011, 05:20:38 PM »
First of all neither the rash nor any other so-called symptoms should ever be the way you attempt to determine your HIV status. Those symptoms simply resemble too many other illnesses and are not a reliable means of telling about your status. I hope you won't ever have a real risk but if you do, only getting an HIV test at 13 weeks can give you a conclusive negative result.

As for the rash which sometimes appears with ARS, it is flat and not itchy. It may appear on body trunk, legs and arms and is red. Then it goes after a week or two and does not reappear.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2011, 05:45:19 PM »
Thank you again Andy. So you are still saying I am not at risk for HIV and need no HIV testing due to the exposure I previoulsy explained?
I'm nervous and apologize for the repeated questions.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2011, 06:11:09 PM »
Thank you again Andy. So you are still saying I am not at risk for HIV and need no HIV testing due to the exposure I previoulsy explained?
I'm nervous and apologize for the repeated questions.

That's exactly what I am saying. No risk = no need for testing.

Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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  • Posts: 12
Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2011, 11:37:13 AM »
Ann and Andy, thank you again for your responses.

Ann, your response about the difficulty od HIV transmission through cunnilingus was great! One last thing though, if I got any menstrual blood on my tongue or mouth area would that change what you said or would it put me at risk.

Andy..your info about ARS rash was helpful. Mine is very light pink, on chest and neck area, and it does itch, especially at night.. I've had it for four weeks...is that anything for me to be concerned about?
Do you still see me as HIV risk free with no reason to test for HIV? 
Thanks also for your patience wiith me.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2011, 12:18:19 PM »
Yes, once again, no need for testing. Your rash has nothing to do with HIV. If it persists you should discuss it with your doctor.

HIV is not your problem. I don't think I can say it any more clearly than that.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2011, 08:47:28 AM »
Ann, Andy, JK...please reply.
First of all thanks for the assistance you've given me so far with my situation. Ann, your detailed explanation exlplaining the difficulty of HIV transmission through cunnilingus was helpful..I also read your other explanations of research in other threads using the search function.
My questions are: 1. Even though mouth and saliva is inhospitable for HIV, does that include menstrual
                             blood also?  (There's so much on the internet concerning risk of blood with
                             cunnilingus) I may have gotten some blood in my mouth...is there risk??
                           2. I realize symptoms are useless in determining status but I'm worrying myself sick over
                              the rash I had with itch, and now my wife has sore throat and cold. Should I not have
                              been having sex with her the past several weeks??
                            3. Does this change anything concerning my risk?
                            4. I realize I'm being driven by guilt and fear...and I seem to have fallen into the same
                                abyss as others on here. Please respond, and I apologize for me nervousness.

Offline clyde

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  • Posts: 12
Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #15 on: February 23, 2011, 09:01:28 AM »
I should have added in the above post...I'm obvioulsy suffering from GUILTY HUSBAND SYNDROME.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #16 on: February 23, 2011, 10:18:22 AM »
Let's keep this simple. Your so-called symptoms are in not in anyway HIV related. Nor are your wife's because you can't give someone a virus you don't have.

Nothing you are adding in the way of details changes the bottom line: you were not at risk for HIV in the incident you are concerned about.

If you continue to search on the net I can guarantee you will find confirmation for your worst fears and all to no good purpose. Do yourself a favor and stop surfing the net. There's a lot of misnformation out there to scare yourself with.

HIV is not your problem. You did what you did sexually and it can't be undone. Accept that, let it go and get on with your life. No kidding.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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  • Posts: 12
Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #17 on: February 23, 2011, 03:22:10 PM »
Andy, thank you so much. You trully are a gem..not only well informed but also patient and understanding.
I'm feeling better due to your answers, but I guess the possible menstrual blood getting on my tongue or in my mouth continues to make me nervous. You're saying even with that possibility there is no HIV risk? Why do these other forums, including CDC do so much to scare us into thinking it is a risk? I'm tryimg to follow your advice and move on in my life with the thought that I couldn't get HIV from this incident...once again THANK YOU!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #18 on: February 23, 2011, 03:31:46 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline clyde

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #19 on: February 23, 2011, 04:01:12 PM »
Rod,
I apologize for exceesive posting. This is a great forum and I certainly respect the work all of you do on here. I trully appreciate the time and attention shown to me.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #20 on: February 23, 2011, 06:27:05 PM »
We don't concern ourselves with what other sites including the CDC say about risk. We are very cautious here about what we say and it is all science and experience-based. If we had any doubts we would say so.

Do yourself a favor and stop shopping around for trouble on other sites.

You're good to go so get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2011, 08:38:34 AM »
Concerning the above mentioned exposure...I went for rapid test and received a negative resullt. This negative result was at 7 1/2 weeks ( or 53 days to be exact) after the same  exposure mentioned above.

Andy, JK, and Ann, you obvioulsy were right as to my staus, but I worried anyway. Questions:

1. Can I now feel that this reult is definitive and somewhat conclusive? Could it possibly change because
    I tested early?
2. I'm thinking that 13 week window that is often mentioned here is still in efffect, do I need to re test   
    again at 13 weeks?
3. Besides my obvious anxiety, is there anything else relative to this exposure that I should be concerned
   about??
     

Offline Ann

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2011, 08:55:20 AM »
Clyde,

1. Your result is conclusive because you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

2. Your result is conclusive because you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

3. NO.

You do not have hiv.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2011, 08:57:23 AM »
You were never at risk so of course you tested negative.

Do you need to test further? You never needed to test in the first place.

Let it go and get on with your life. You need to know that if you continue to return here about this non-risk you are going to get yourself a time out from the site.

HIV is not your problem. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline clyde

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #24 on: April 05, 2011, 05:29:24 PM »
Back from my much deserved ban. Tested at again 13 weeks and as Ann, Andy, and the others said all along..I was negative again. I don't want to take up everyone's time, but just want to say thank you to the mods for their patience and understanding. I've spent time during my ban reading about many other posters and their fears, concerns, and questions. HIV Anxiety exists in so many of us...and even though I am no expert, I DO know that the mods on here are incredible. Listen to them, they do know what they're talking about. Their experiences, advice, and suggestions are second to none!

Mods, thank you again so much for all of your help.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Fearful and confused
« Reply #25 on: April 05, 2011, 05:34:49 PM »
Enjoy that happy result and protect it by always using condoms for vaginal/anal intercourse.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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