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Author Topic: Anxiety  (Read 7926 times)

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Offline skillet25

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Anxiety
« on: June 03, 2006, 01:15:02 AM »
Posted in the old forum, but not quite sure how to find the old thread.

When dating a girl in the spring of 2002, after just a few weeks, I was diagnosed with a bacterial infection mistakingly, then diagnosed with extreme pharyngitis (viral) - had fever white spots on throat etc.

Only kissed, received oral, and fingered her (deeply if it matters) several times including once during her period with blood present on my finger.  Don't think that I had cuts or anything on my fingers, but worried because of the symptoms and the doctor's general diagnosis of pharyngitis without knowing the known organism that caused it. 

I know that kissing is not considered a risk, even with blood present, and receiving oral is not a risk even with blood present, but would fingering not be a risk too, even if blood was present, and I possibly had any type of cut or hangnail on a finger?

Just worried because of the symptoms and the timing of it all.  I have never had anal or vaginal intercourse, used IV drugs, or performed oral on anyone.

I guess that fact that I had someone's blood on my finger, who I am no longer with, kind of has me freaked out since I had those symptoms of pharyngitis around the same time.

A girl that I dated last Fall, I kissed with a scabbed cold sore (possibly bleeding, did not know that cold sore was contagious), two days later got symptoms, tested negative for mono, then after having her blood tested over a week's time, was shown to be positive for mono.

Again, just freaks me out knowing that she showed these symptoms right after kissing me when I had a possible bleeding cold sore.

These two instances are just making me feel worried.  Please confirm if I had any risk at all, and I promise to accept the answers.

Thank you.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2006, 02:30:13 AM »
You had no risk at all. Fingering is not a risk for HIV. You don't need to test. Please read the lessons section on the site.

MtD

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2006, 03:21:14 AM »
and the lessons have recently been updated... but you DON'T GET HIV FROM FINGERING... EVER.

Mono, or lack of mono.. doesn't matter... it's a completely different virus and one much easily transmitted than hiv....

mono can be tranmitted by just kissing... hiv is by unprotectected anal or vaginal intercouse.   you have nothing to worry about at ALL.



Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2006, 07:48:56 AM »
As you have already been told, you were not at risk during any of the activities you have described. You are not going to make history by being the first to become infected with HIV in this manner, including what you are calling deep fingering.

Your concerns are loaded with what ifs which is an excellent way to drive yourself nutz. Just because your mind continues to churn out more of the what ifs doesn't change the HIV science of the situation.

You weren't at risk for HIV. Actually the only red flag that was raised was the mention of a "cold sore." I couldn't help wondering if it really was a cold sore or a herpes outbreak. Ask your doctor if you have any doubts about the situation as well as if any symptoms persist.

What this isn't is an HIV situation.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2006, 07:15:50 PM »
Thank you all for your replies.

Andy,

Twice, last year, at different times, a got a cold sore on my lower lip - probably same spot both times.  However, nothing since then.  Have never had cold sores in the past that I remember either.  However, when dating that girl last Fall, right when she developed symptoms of mono is when she got around 4 to 5 cold sores on her lips. (bad looking cold sores at that).

Was this part of mono?  Or, could she have caught mono, and a cold sore from me at the same time?  She, I think, even got a cold sore fairly recently, but I haven't had one since last Fall.

I guess all that together is partially what had me worried about HIV.

I think Ann said that cold sore = herpes.  Does everyone that gets a cold sore have herpes?  And....if so, are there non-sexual ways to get oral herpes?

Thanks.

Offline Sae

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2006, 08:09:57 PM »
Herpes has nothing to do with HIV...honestly.

There are many Herpes viruses.  HSV 1 and HSV 2 are the ones you are referring too.  One typically affects one's lips and the other is genital, although you can get oral herpes in the genital region if, for example, you have oral sex during an oral breakout.

Most of the population will test positive for HSV1, cold sores are very, very common.

Once you have that virus, you always have it, its lies dormant in your system when you don't have active sores.  Stress...sunlight (UV light), being run down...many many things will bring on a cold sore outbreak.  Perhaps the stress of your HIV was enough to cause your first outbreak, you'll never know for sure.  Your girlfriend's outbreak during mono was because she was run down, sick, under stress...etc, not necessarily from you.

I get them if I am stressed, or I forget sunscreen.  I do not have genital herpes, and I don't have HIV, so relax ok?  Its just coldsores, stop linking all things to HIV.  My whole family got coldsores, no big deal...clearly NOT always sexually transmitted. 

Sae
« Last Edit: June 04, 2006, 08:13:58 PM by Sae »
Meh.

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2006, 08:21:48 PM »
skillet,

Just to add to SAE's fine and accurate post, herpes and mono also have nothing to do with each other. As SAE said, stress can bring on a herpes outbreak - including the physical stress caused by mono... or colds, hence the name coldsore.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2006, 07:22:35 PM »
So, absolutely no reason to worry or get tested - no matter the circumstances when kissing or when fingering a female during her period?

And no reason to think that my symptoms were anything other than what was diagnosed by the doctor?

And no reason to worry about HIV, even after my ex-girlfriend got cold sores and the symptoms of mono just a couple of days after kissing me when I had a cold sore that was possibly scabbed or bleeding?


Offline Morgan

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2006, 07:35:39 PM »
Skillet25,

Correct!  This is not an HIV issue. 

Continue to work with your doctor regarding your symptoms. 

Nothing you describe put you at risk for hiv infection.

Morgan
Morgan Landers

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2006, 07:38:41 PM »
skillet,

Unless that fingering you were doing also included unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, then no, you do not need to test over this specific incident. You will not become hiv positive from fingering or kissing.

Did you know that the first time a person gets herpes, they often feel quite ill and flu-like? Some people can get quite sick with primary herpes.

You should not be kissing anyone while you have a cold sore until it is completely healed. Herpes is very contagious and can even be spread by sharing cups. Mono is also very contagious and it's known as the "kissing disease" because it is so easily spread through kissing.

You didn't have risk of hiv infection. If you are worried about mono or herpes and want to know more, please go see your doctor.

Although you do not need to test over the incident you have brought to us, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you are sexually active but aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for anal or vaginal intercourse,every time, no exceptions, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2006, 07:49:51 PM »
Ann,

Thank you for your reply.  I'm not worried about mono or cold sores - I think I have only had two cold sores ever, and they were both last Fall.

My only worry has been about possibly contracting HIV from an ex-girlfriend in 2002 who I fingered during her period (she did have blood present) and rec'd oral from because of the symptoms that I came down with - diagnosed as viral pharyngitis.

And about possibly passing it to a girl that I kissed last Fall when I had a possibly bloody lip / cold sore in which she got the symptoms (later diagnosed as mono) a couple of days after kissing me.

It's just the timing of it all.

First instance that worried me - I've never had a sore throat like that (white spots, etc.) and it just so happens that it was during the time that I was dating a girl whom I fingered during her period.

Second instance that worried me - I rarely, if ever have had a cold sore, let alone a possible bleeding cold sore (from an opened scab), two days later, my girlfriend gets a lot of the symptoms of HIV (and I know a lot of other ailments as well, including mono).

Again, it's just the timing of these two instances.  That's what has been bothering me.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2006, 08:24:27 PM »
Well be bothered no longer, champion. As we have told you numerous times in this thread:

FINGERING IS NOT A RISK FOR HIV TRANSMISSION!

Whether or not your partner was menstruating. Got that?

MtD

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2006, 01:33:51 PM »
Matty,

So even if I had an open cut such as a hangnail it wouldn't matter?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2006, 01:36:06 PM »
Not an open cut nor hangnail, nor chewed fingers.

Seriously, if there was a caveat here, someone would provide the science. Point is, ALL science points to ZERO risk through fingering.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2006, 01:39:03 PM »
Or even if the hangnail were to start bleeding during fingering (and it wasn't noticed by me), it still wouldn't matter?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2006, 01:43:27 PM »
No.

COme back with all the scenarios you want. There is zero evidence that HIV can be transmitted through fingering.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #16 on: June 12, 2006, 01:44:52 PM »
So...the clear facts are and all research and science backs up -

Kissing with a bloody lip would be a no risk situation because of saliva being an inhibitor.
Receiving oral is no risk no matter the spin.
Fingering is no risk, regardless of having open cuts, unless the cuts were of ridiculous proportions, which you wouldn't be fingering anybody in that case in the first place - because of the lack of receptor cells, outflowing blood pressure, etc.

Is this correct?

Thanks so much.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #17 on: June 12, 2006, 01:46:51 PM »
Thats it exactly!

Go spread the word. HIV can be spread through unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex :)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #18 on: June 12, 2006, 01:49:42 PM »
Thank you sir.

One last question, and I think I probably already know the answer.  If the top part of the penis (shaft and head) rubs across the outside of a female's vagina, there is no risk for exposure in that instance either, unless actual penetration takes place - correct?

Thanks.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #19 on: June 12, 2006, 02:00:33 PM »
unlike anal sex, vaginal sex is far less of a risk for the penetrative partner. It's statistically unusual in the western world, where circumsizion and personal hygeine standards are the norm, for a male to be heterosexually infected even with deep thrusting.

The incident you describe seems benign. But YOU have to decide for yourself what you are confortable with. The only truly zero risk activity is masturbation, alone. That's the level of negotiated risk we all have to live with. YOU have to decide what activities are acceptable to you. Sex should be an intimate and enjoyable activity, not a source for emotional stress.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2006, 08:41:21 PM »
Thanks Jonathan -

So with all that being said, you don't see any reason to be tested - based on the scenarios I have presented?

Thanks for all of your time and patience.

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #21 on: June 12, 2006, 08:50:24 PM »
Another question if I may, just to educate myself.

What is the cause of the majority of the HIV cases in the western part of the world?  And when you say western, do you mean primarily North America?

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2006, 05:16:29 AM »
Skillet,

You don't need to test over kissing, fingering or getting a blowjob, no.

The majority of hiv infections in the "Western World" are caused by unprotected anal and/or vaginal intercourse. We can no longer, in good conscience, say that hiv infections in the West are mainly found within the gay communities as new heterosexual infections are on a steep rise, particularly among women. We would be doing everyone a great disservice to imply that heterosexuals are not being affected.  The term Western World is generally taken to mean Europe and North America, excluding Mexico.

However, the leading cause of new hiv infections world wide is also unprotected anal and/or vaginal intercourse.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exception and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2006, 01:51:41 PM »
Ann,

I think I am just a worrier.  I kissed my girlfriend the last time about three weeks ago (she is currently out of the country) and I a slight cut on my lip.

After about three weeks, she is experiencing a sore throat with cold like symptoms.  It's almost like I am trying to take every situation or symptom that I have had for the last several years and somehow pair it with being infected with HIV - since so many of the ARS symptoms are just like the symptoms of so many other things, non-HIV related.

You said kissing, receiving oral, and fingering were not risks for HIV transmission - does that include when blood is present?

So an HIV + person could not transmit HIV to someone while kissing even if the positive person was bleeding orally?

And an HIV + person could not transmit HIV to someone while fingering even if the one inserting has cuts and there is blood on blood contact?

I think I am just trying to pair symptoms.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #24 on: June 14, 2006, 02:39:13 PM »
Kissing is not a risk for HIV.

If it were, if there were ANY circumstances that would cause infection, we would NEVER claim that it was safe.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #25 on: June 14, 2006, 07:52:47 PM »
And fingering a girl during her period (with her blood present) and having hangnails, papercuts, etc. on my finger(s) - that would not be a risk either?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #26 on: June 14, 2006, 07:55:21 PM »
Skillet,

You know the answer to that question. It's no, there is no risk from fingering. Hangnails, periods or otherwise.

I really think you should read the Welcome Thread, if you haven't already. If you've done so, do it again.

MtD

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #27 on: August 27, 2006, 09:13:37 PM »
You guys,

I was recently tested during a routine physical exam because I just couldn't quite worrying and I figured that was the best thing to do to have some closure.  The test results normally take a week or so, but they rec'd them back from the diagnostics lab in another town the very next day.

Here's my question, the results show that the test was an HIV-1 Antibody Screen with a result of non-reactive.

Just curious as to what type of test this was and if it was one of the reliable tests? 

Thanks so much,

Skillet

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #28 on: August 27, 2006, 09:19:42 PM »
It wouldn't matter what test you took it would have been reliable. You didn't have a risk.

Offline skillet25

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Worried
« Reply #29 on: July 13, 2010, 11:06:52 PM »
Hello, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.
I attended an event in which I shook many, many hands - looked down once and dried blood was smeared on my forearm (about a 50 cent piece size maybe).  Probably accidentally rubbed arms with someone in the crowd who had an open wound - mixed crowd of older and younger people.
In the restroom, there was no soap, so I washed the dried blood off with water, and rinsed my hands off as well.  Before dinner a few minutes later, I found some old hand sanitizer to rub on my hands, then rinsed off the hand sanitizer due to the greasiness - again just using water.  I then ate dinner and about an hour and a half later, was back at home.  My wife was away for the evening and due to loneliness, I ended up masturbating a couple of times.  I don't remember washing my hands or arm with soap or water before arriving at home and masturbating.  Two days later my child is running a high fever and is diagnosed with an ear infection, then gets a rash on his feet and legs.  A couple of days after that, I come down with sinus pressure, or allergies, or something.  I apologize, but I am a very paranoid person and just worry that 1)  if the blood that was on my arm was HIV positive and 2)  since I never used soap, only water on my arm and hand sanitizer on my hands, and 3)  I masturbated an hour and a half or so later, could I have any risk of HIV and could any of those symptoms above be related to ARS?  Don't know of any open cuts or anything on penis, but if there were or weren't any, could I have any exposure due to dry blood getting on the tip or in the skin?  Just worried how my child and I both got sick hours to days later.
Thanks so much for your replies.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Worried
« Reply #30 on: July 13, 2010, 11:19:05 PM »
Please keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and allows us to give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #31 on: July 13, 2010, 11:21:21 PM »
Hello, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.
I attended an event in which I shook many, many hands - looked down once and dried blood was smeared on my forearm (about a 50 cent piece size maybe).  Probably accidentally rubbed arms with someone in the crowd who had an open wound - mixed crowd of older and younger people.
In the restroom, there was no soap, so I washed the dried blood off with water, and rinsed my hands off as well.  Before dinner a few minutes later, I found some old hand sanitizer to rub on my hands, then rinsed off the hand sanitizer due to the greasiness - again just using water.  I then ate dinner and about an hour and a half later, was back at home.  My wife was away for the evening and due to loneliness, I ended up masturbating a couple of times.  I don't remember washing my hands or arm with soap or water before arriving at home and masturbating.  Two days later my child is running a high fever and is diagnosed with an ear infection, then gets a rash on his feet and legs.  A couple of days after that, I come down with sinus pressure, or allergies, or something.  I apologize, but I am a very paranoid person and just worry that 1)  if the blood that was on my arm was HIV positive and 2)  since I never used soap, only water on my arm and hand sanitizer on my hands, and 3)  I masturbated an hour and a half or so later, could I have any risk of HIV and could any of those symptoms above be related to ARS?  Don't know of any open cuts or anything on penis, but if there were or weren't any, could I have any exposure due to dry blood getting on the tip or in the skin?  Just worried how my child and I both got sick hours to days later.
Thanks so much for your replies.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #32 on: July 13, 2010, 11:33:01 PM »
I want you to read this very carefully.

You were not at risk of contracting HIV from shaking hands. The dried blood on your arm makes no difference. Masturbating afterwards makes no difference. You do not need to be tested. Whatever has made you and your child ill, it's not HIV,

HIV is transmitted via unprotected anal or vaginal sex, through sharing contaminated needles and syringes and in some cases from HIV positive mother to her unborn baby.

It is not transmitted via casual everyday contact. No, ifs buts or otherwises.

I want you to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to the HIV transmission lessons. I also want you to review the posting guidelines listed in the Welcome Thread.

It's been a few years since you've posted here and you need to understand that we are much stricter about people who post obsessively over non risk situations. Failure to adhere strictly to the posting guidelines will see you banned from the forums in pretty short order.

Your time would be better spent discussing these matters with a mental health professional. We are not able to provide you with the sort of support you need.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #33 on: July 14, 2010, 07:17:44 AM »
I've merged your threads here. If you have anything further to write please follow our rule and keep all entries in this same thread.

We've gone through the basics about HIV transmission with you many times. By now you ought to be well aware that HIV is not passed through casual contacts of the sort you are concerned about such as touching hands or other environmental surfaces or substances.

As Matty suggested, get the professional help you need to deal with your fears. They have no sound basis in HIV science.   
Andy Velez

Offline skillet25

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #34 on: July 17, 2010, 01:02:19 PM »
Thank you guys, I understand now.  If I could ask one question.  I've heard that HIV is a fragile virus - does it lose all infectiousness once outstide of the body?

I read the Lessons page that MtD referred to, but I didn't see that in there.

Thanks.

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxiety
« Reply #35 on: July 17, 2010, 01:12:21 PM »
Skillet,

Yes, hiv is very fragile. It has "plugs" on its outer surface that plug into specific receptors that only appear on specific types of cells. The outer surface of hiv must be intact in order for this to be possible. Small changes in temperature, and moisture and pH levels quickly damage the outer surface once hiv is outside the body and this renders it unable to infect.

ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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