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Author Topic: My mom's passing  (Read 6099 times)

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Offline MarcoPoz

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My mom's passing
« on: January 26, 2011, 09:45:47 AM »
I'm not writing this post for sympathy--my mom was much too pragmatic for that and face it, I think there are many here who actually wish me many negative things--that is , if you can believe your own PM in-box.

I wanted to post a note here saying that I've recently experienced the death of my mother--completely unexpected--and susequent new responsibilities in taking care of my medically fragile step-father.

Perhaps this is something many of us LTSrs experience or will experience.  My mother was a very special person and we shared a very close relationship.  In many ways she was my role model.  I always wished I had her 'heart' and total empathy for others.  She was a strong willed Sicilian who made her way onto the broadway stage as a dancer, chorus gypsy and was a part of the American Ballet Theatre.  She did this all while having 3 children, getting a divorce and dancing her way across the county and Europe.  One of my first memories was of watching her applying makeup back stage during a run of The King and I.

She was always completely honest with me--as I was with her.  She said that she was proud of me for not letting HIV destroy my soul, humor and outlook--and for turning my response to it into advocacy.

I miss her so much.  No matter how many deaths we LTSrs see, we never really get used to it, do we?  I got great advice from a friend on this subject.  He said, "Time really doesn't heal wounds, it just numbs the sting a bit.  You never learn to deal with it, you just learn how to carry it better."
« Last Edit: January 26, 2011, 10:26:08 AM by MarcoPoz »

Online Jeff G

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2011, 10:20:03 AM »
I'm sorry for you loss , my condolences to you and your family .

Offline denb45

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2011, 11:20:10 AM »
Marco, sorry for the loss of your mother, she sounds like she was a very Strong Person (my mother was like THIS), and I'm sure she loved you as her son, I hope this helps you out some in your hours, and Days of need

I took care of my aging Parents 25 yrs ago, until they both passed-away, my Father died in May 88, and my Mother died in September 88, so I to know how that is, I give up my nice condo, to actually moved in with them, to take care of them, and still worked 12 to 18 hrs a day, until 10 yrs later, I had to give up my job, due to failing health & AIDS...

Marco, your Mother is in a much better place, and for what it's worth, it will get better with the passing of time, she will always be a part of you until the day you die, Marco, things will get better, they always do in the passing of a loved one, it's ok to be sad and ask and sympathy, nothing in the world wrong with this, so feel free to Grieve, it's part of the process  ;)
« Last Edit: January 26, 2011, 11:32:03 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline bear60

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2011, 01:58:29 PM »
Marco
What beautiful memories you have of your Mother.
My condolences on her passing.

Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline AlanBama

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2011, 03:02:39 PM »
Sorry for your loss   :'(   May she rest in peace

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline aztecan

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2011, 04:45:37 PM »
Hey Marco,

I am very sorry for the loss you have experienced. Your mother sounds like she led a wonderful life and had a big soul.

May she rest in peace.

I wish you well in assuming your new responsibilities with your step father.

You are right, the pain doesn't really go away, we just learn to live with it.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline MarcoPoz

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  • Posts: 396
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2011, 08:37:35 PM »
Thank you all so very much.  Remember, tell the people you love, that you love them.  I have no doubts that my mom knew every day how much I loved her.

And don't sweat the small shit.

Online leatherman

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2011, 09:27:36 PM »
Remember, tell the people you love, that you love them. 
Amen! There's no such thing as saying "I love you" too much to the people you love. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Online wolfter

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2011, 06:32:53 AM »
I'm truly sorry for you loss.  I'm fortunate to still have my mother.  I lost my father suddenly 8 years ago with no prior warning.  He was the picture of health and we had no clue.  You're correct, the pain never goes away, but it evolves into a deeper love.  I still think of my father several times a day and it brings comfort.
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline BT65

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2011, 08:08:20 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline rondrond

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2011, 09:55:12 AM »
Thank you all so very much.  Remember, tell the people you love, that you love them.  I have no doubts that my mom knew every day how much I loved her.

And don't sweat the small shit.


Good advice. ..sorry for your loss.
Ronnie
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2011, 09:44:33 PM »
Marco,

My heart goes out to you.  I lost my mother on June 19th, 2002.  I miss the many conversations that we used to have. She was one of my main supports, throughout the years, when I became HIV positive. I also had that very close relationship, even though we were 1,400 miles apart, so I understand.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Buckmark

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2011, 10:52:22 AM »
Marco,

I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing.  It's awesome that you had such a strong relationship with her.  It sounds like she was quite an amazing woman.

Regards,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2011, 10:06:24 PM »
Marco
Sorry to hear about you mom passing. I'm glad that you have many fond memories of her. She sounds like she had an exciting life.

May she rest in peace.
Jeff
Positive since 1985

Offline hellrider

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2011, 10:12:32 PM »
Sorry to hear of your mothers passing, I to lost my mother and mother in law a long time ago and it still hurts.
Life's a hell of a ride and I still have some ridin to do.

12/8/2010 CD4 693   VL 192,000

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2011, 03:28:24 PM »
Marco, I'm very sorry to hear about your Mom's passing. Nothing can or will ever fill the enormous place she had in your life.

But you do obviously have many wonderful things to remember from the rich lifetime you shared together.

My best to you.

Andy
Andy Velez

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2011, 09:04:29 PM »
Thank you everyone for your support.  It really means a lot.

Offline sorryass

  • Member
  • Posts: 77
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2011, 06:33:35 AM »
Marco,

Your mom was a free spirt, artists are blessed with that 
human comfort.  Seems it was passed on to her son.

In the years to come, you will learn more of what a wonderfull
person she was.
~k
Bertram.
Once a gardener,...............er!

*Ritonavir 100mg 2-Day
*Etravirine 100mg 2-Day
*Raltegravir 400mg 2-Day
*Prezista 600mg 2-Day

Offline Theyer

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  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2011, 03:59:21 PM »
Marco, I am sorry for your loss its such a shock when it happens without warning. Your Mama sounds wonderful a trouper you must be so proud, to succeed in her world takes courage and strength, to bring up children as well........

mhtv

been away for awhile but wanted to respond
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline mecch

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2011, 04:06:05 PM »
Sorry to hear that.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2011, 09:29:12 AM »
Mecch, as you are not an LTS, you should not be posting in the LTS forum. Haven't we told you this before? I wish you would be more careful when clicking on posts from your "unread" page. Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: My mom's passing
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2011, 01:33:40 AM »
Marco,

Your mother sounds like an amazing woman.  I'm so very sorry for your loss.

AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

 


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