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Author Topic: Did I infect myself?  (Read 6777 times)

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Offline Uniquename

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Did I infect myself?
« on: January 22, 2011, 10:44:57 AM »
Before this event I knew I was negative as tested at the appropriate time. However I went to a professionals place where I received a massage and oral sex only. She put the condom with her mouth and I did not last long. I did not inspect the condom before and after. She brought the condom unwrapped.

The problem is that after oral she took the condom out I touched some fluids that were in the bed with my right hand and with my left hand I touched the outside of condom. She gave me a liquid  to clean my penis. I did use it with my right hand. The problem is that it irritated my penis and since I rubbed my penis head , foreskin and urethra with the hand that touched the fluids I believe transmission was easier. I also saw fluids go down the urethra.

After I rubbed penis head I pressed it with my left thumb, the one that touched the condom, a couple of days later I had burning urination and there was redness where I had pressed.

Symtoms, incuded burning urination and testicle pain and shocks. About a weeks later I developed headaches, fever, dry throat, slight body ache, arm pit pain, my nodes were jerking. Eventually I felt pain in arm put with lump. I even had swollen salivary glands. My brother told me I had rash in upper back, that looks like the ones in ars pictures.

5/6 saw a bump on penis that went away within week after I stretched  It and cleaned it. It came back but left in a day after I did the same thing. In the 7/8 week rash over body came including hands an genitals (including bumps).

I problably contracted an infection, but my concern is for HIV.
Please assume she had a high viral load, and fluids were fresh.
Also before she put on condom it looked like she touched herself. Assume fluids were inside condom. My urethra was open to before I came in her mouth with condom. I do not know if I had a herpetic outbreak at that time.
What is my risk on the way I cleaned myself and above.  Also, when I was sick there was no mucus so it was not a typical upper respiratory illness.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2011, 10:50:03 AM »
I read that transmission is primarily transmitted in the inside, but is this the exception? I am afraid that the irritation made transmission easier as explained above. Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2011, 11:00:23 AM »
You maybe unique, but you are not unique to have infected yourself in the manner about which you are concerned.

The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Period.

Nothing you have mentioned is in anyway a risk for HIV transmission.

You also need to know that should you ever have a real risk, (and if you use condoms consistently you won't have a sexual risk), neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test taken at 13 weeks can give you a reliable answer.

But you don't need to be concerned nor do you have to test because you didn't have a risk.

As for your "symptoms," if they persist you need to discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2011, 04:22:56 PM »
Thank you for your prompt reply.  Yeah I am telling you the truth I did not have vaginal or anal sex with prostitute. I did not finger her, frottage, or kiss her. Just the oral with condom. However I feel something went wrong in either the way the condom was put on or the way I cleaned myself. As the old saying goes the devil is the details and I feel I did not clearly explained myself above.

Before she put the condom on, as I was lying on my back with penis erect towards the ceiling, she bent over in front of me, perhaps to stimulate me, she seemed to touch herself in her private area, she turned around and grabed the unwrapped condom, and put it on me with her mouth. Before she did that she was touching both sides of the condom, perhaps with fluids. I think she kissed the condom on the part that went inside since she was initially putting it the wrong way.

She sucked me than stopped my urethra was open, then she continued to completion. Than I touched some fluids in bed after she had sat in that are after she was done with bj. ISo there were fresh. I also touched the condom with my left hand after she was finished with bj.  I grabbed a tissue and put it in my hand and fingers that touched fluids. I poured alcohol on it and wiped penis head, foreskin. I guess my penis became irritated. I grabbed the bottle of alcohol she handed me with my left hand a purée it to my the tissue in my right hand. Then with the left thumb, that touch condom, I pressed hard on the penis head to open urethra. And with the tissue I rubbed hard with the tissue of my right. I saw fluids go in urethra. Iam afraid they were mixed with her fluids. And the part that I prssed hard with thumb I saw it red a couple days later as I was having burning urination. The only other things she did was give me a back message, which I had pimples. I had some sort of rash in my butt which she sat on, I don't know if her vaginal fluida got in there somehow. She also slid her hads between my butt crack, but there was no insertion, I am sure I would know, unless she got a cut or blister or STD in fingers and touched outer part of butt hole.

Anyways as you can see I did not have vaginal or anal sex. But I still got something. I know you guys don't go by symptoms, but I will say this quick, when I was having the above symptoms, my nodes in inner thigh also jerked, that area seemed a little swollen, but thought nothing of it. I also had diareah, loss of appetite, and a little night sweats. Today with my rash, I fel the node in my right inner thigh jerk, both sides looked a little swollen but when I touch that area I don't feel a lump. I know I had a feeling that I had contracted a virus, and I had no mucus, so I am scared. As soon as I walked out of that illegal place, I knew I had messed up. And told myself, you GOT IT. It was gut feeling.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2011, 04:32:48 PM »
Sorry, I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR YOU GUYS. I READ THAT ONLY AUTHORIZED PEOPLE COULD POST. SO THAT IS COOL. Oh, forgot to mention, that with the urine burn as mention above, it smelled strong, I know I had an infection, I felt I had a viral infection. Just don't know what type. Now, two months later, I walking though a little flu/ sinus because I could feel the mucus. Back then no mucus. Back then it was not strong, but I heard of mild ars, and I had a lot of symptoms. But Now my flu/sinus is lighter then before so who knows. I guess my initial symptoms scared me.

I WANT TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS LOW TO NO RISK. But you hear so many stories and HIV is a tricky virus. I am afraid my actions may have put me at risk. I am afraid i will be the first theoraticle incident.I am afraid that ifi got a viral infection does that mean HIV. GOD BLESS YOU.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2011, 05:07:26 PM »
Before you answer keep mind that I touched with my left hand the thing she was handing me to clean myself and might have touched her hand. So if those things had vaginal fluids on the I would get them on left fingers also in addition to the things I picked up by touching the condom. Both hands were not dripping with her fluids but I did stupid things. And those fluids were fresh. The site of inoculation was the inside urethra when it was irritated and fluids went in or the part I saw red.   

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2011, 05:24:14 PM »
Man, you are worrying so totally unnecessarily. HIV is a fragile virus. It is not passed by bodily fluids from hand to hand or in any of the several detailed ways you are bothering yourself about.

Also, I failed to mention to you that receiving oral is absolutely not a risk even if she had sucked you without your having a condom on. It's one of the most common sexual acts and in the entire history of the epidemic there has never been a single confirmed case of transmission to a guy in that manner.

It's safe to say you are not going to make history by becoming the first.

As for your physical discomfort or "symptoms," if anything persists that is what doctors are for. You don't have HIV and there is no need for further concern or for HIV testing on your part.

Get on with your life and just make sure that you are always without any exceptions wearing condoms for both vaginal and anal intercourse.  
Andy Velez

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2011, 05:33:50 PM »
Thank you for your words. They have calmed me down. It is just that my symptoms came in at the right ARS timeframe and I did not have mucus, and it had a lot in common with ars. But I guess I am focusing to much on symptoms.

I know I have a lot of guilt and anxiety. So I know that is contributing to my nervousness. But my anxiety tells me you could still have anxiety and be infected. So I guess I am going in circles.

But anyways, thank you for your kind words. I guess my concern was whether the irritation in penis and urethra allowed for easier transmission. SO I AM GOINT TO ASSUME YOU READ ALL MY POSTS SINCE YOUR ORIGINAL ONE??? DIOS TE VENDIGA

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2011, 10:28:02 PM »
Mr. Velez, I hope you read all my posts. But keep in mind that if you look at what I wrote this was not a simple fluids to hand to hand to genitals. By analogy mutual mastubation (just for example there was no masturbation) and oral is no risk. But usually when people talk about those THERE PENISES ARE NOT IRRITATED BY ALCOHOL. Mine was so if the was viable HIV free floating virus or cells then I would be infected as described above, I.e. Fluids Going through urethra and down pipe and when penis was pressed with thumb after touching condom and stuff she handled.

I guess I am concerned about the symptoms, I got a lot of them, including rash, that were like bumps that did NOT pop or ooze liquid.

Wellbi said everything I needed to say. I am hiding no facts. I hope you are correct Mr. Velez.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2011, 10:31:27 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2011, 09:04:18 AM »
UN,

Absolutely nothing you describe was a risk for hiv infection. And yes, I read every last word you typed. NO RISK.

You may have picked up one of the more easily transmitted STIs. Did you go to a doctor when you "knew" you had an infection?

The rash you describe is nothing like the rash that sometimes accompanies seroconversion. That rash is flat and it does not itch and it does not occur on the extremities like your hands and feet.

But you never had a risk for hiv infection in the first place.

And if you continue to post over this no risk incident, you WILL be given that time out Rodney warned you about.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2011, 10:03:38 PM »
Thank for you response ANN. I appreciate your words. In response to you question. No I did not go to doctor as I was afraid of the diagnosis.

In regards to the rash, the rash that I initially got when I first developed symptoms was not itching but it was raised according to my brother. About the 7th week I got another rash in upper back, hands and genitals. In my back it itches but I don't know if it was rash or my sweat. In the other areas it dif not itch. It is gone now. I do remember that in 2 or 3 week I do remember a tingling feeling going up my spine and then traveled across my left side of back and skull. So who knows.

I have to be completely honest with you, a couple of years back I slept with pros at legal brothels. But I always used condoms for everything. I ended up getting some sort of uti/STD and I took antibiotics. I tested negative for HIV and syphilis at way beyond the appropriate timeline. I took the test about 1-2 years post last incident. This why I know I my status as negative before the event. Well I made a promise not to be doing this activities anymore and I broke it. They say that sooner or later if you are envolved in this activites you will end up positive it's an odds game. I always wanted one more shot an a clean slate, I got what I wanted and I broke my promise. Now I ended up with something and I am afraid of HIV.

1) I read at medhelp that you would need deep cut or something like that. Here we have an irritated penis that was simultaneous irritated while I had fluids, I think that is worse.

2) I am wondering about the condom integrity as I did not inspect it. She originally rubbed me with baby oil so I am wondering about it's condition. Plus since it was unwrapped, how long was it unwrapped. If she had an STD in her throatnor saliva, how about HIV? I did not see her panic after I came, so maybe it was fine. The condom was dangling over my penis and she took it out. So I did not inspect it.

3) as I mentioned earlier, I am sure I had tiny little red bumps in my penis head, herpes, since she touched herself prior and had vaginal fluids in fingers when she touched the inside of condom it could have touched herpes and lead to transmission. This only took seconds. The fluids were fresh. OR IF IT WENT IN MY URETHRA WHEN IT WAS OPEN OR WHEN IT MIXED WITH MY FLUIDS WHEN INSIDE CONDOM.

4) as mentioned earlier I found a bump in my penis, IN THE SAME AREA WHERE I HAD PRESSED WITH MY THUMB WHEN PENIS WAS IRRITATED, in about the fifth week it went away after I cleaned it stretched it. I believe she had a syphilitic sore in her lip. She might have accidentally touched my penis head with her lip when she rolling down the condom with her mouth OR when she put the condom the wrong way and kissed it and then turned around and putting on me. Possible dual infection.AND IF IT TOUCHED MY HERPES BUMP THEN IT WOULD BE SORE TO SORE CONTACT. AND SINCE THE SORE WOULD BE AT THE LIP SALIVA WOULD NOT NEUTROLIZE THE VIRUS AND SINCE CONDOM WAS BEING ROLLED DOWN THE AIR WOULD BE LOCKED OUT.

5) when I tried to clean myself, I rubbed my urethra deep and irritated it with alcohol as I had fluids as explained above, I saw the fluids in urethra hole. It stung. It felt like the fluids went down the pipe. If it had HIV then that would be a place for infection. It eve body says it is in the urethra where infection occurs.

6) When I pressed on my penis head with my thumb, after head was irritated with alcohol, The thumb had touched the condom, what if it had saliva that had neutralized the virus, if it had another STD that contained the virus as well, I BUMP CAME OUT THAT AREA. As I said before, when I had burning urination I saw that part red, where I had pressed, did something go in, if so HIV too?

I have been up and down as far as my Heath. I dod not believe all of is ars, I pray it is not at all. But the parts that perhaps would, it was mild. But I heard of mild ars. My symptoms seemed blur I cannot pin point when it even initially began. I do remember sharp head pains, perhaps at the begining, before burning urination. My nodes jerked a few days later and my groin nodes looked a little inflated. I did notice my salivary glands swollen, and little under jaw, swollen at the two week mark. But did have it swollen before? I do not know. I BELIEVE I HAD GENERALIZED NODES SWELLING. But I remember my throat being red, and one of the tonsils was a little swollen.  No pus so it was not bacterial and like I said I did not kiss her or anybody for a long tome. It is an indication of a viral infection. I hope not an indication of HIV.   

Today and yesterday the nodes seem feel slight sensation by groin and slight swelling in the area, but I feel no bump. The sensation was very light. It is gone now. My salivary glands got swollen a little bit but I was in a little bit cold weather, and had a little sniffle.body ached a little.  NO MUCUS WHEN SYMPTOMS FIRST STARTED AFTER INCIDENT. Now I just have some muscle shaking. And lower stomach shakes sometimes. I can't say I have pain, I do not know if I have cramps.

In this instant matter, it felt I was fighting a viral infection. I just hope it was not HIV. KEEP IN MIND FLUIDS WERE FRESH AND SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SERONVENTING SO HIGH VIRAL LOAD.I had no vaginal or anal sex. But the above possible dual infection worries me. Plus my penis irritated and rubbed and urethra. 

I HOPE I MADE IT OUT OF THIS INCIDENT OKAY.  Please do not suspend me.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2011, 10:10:58 PM »
Good Lord, this is a risk assessment forum. It is not a counseling site. Your questions have been thoroughly answered. You had no risk.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2011, 10:13:49 PM »
PLEASE READ LAST POST? IN ADDITION CAN WE SAY ANY AND/OR ALL SYMPTOMS ARE NOT HIV OR ARS RELATED? HOW CLOSE TO A RISK DID I COME?

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2011, 10:17:54 PM »
Jkinatl2, I have read your comments in this site. The fact that you say no risk is pleasing. If you don't mind me saying you take the conservative view in risks. I do not mean to offend, but rather a compliment.

For ann I added POST 9.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #15 on: January 23, 2011, 10:34:02 PM »
ANN I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS NOT A COUNSELING SITE. I JUST NEED A RISK ASSESMENT TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION WHAT I WROTE IN POST 9. ARE ANY and/ or ALL SYMPTOMS HIV OR ARS RELATED? HOW CLOSE TO A RISK DID I COME? Oh yeah my brother did not get sick when I had my symptoms, so what does that say, I.e. Typical rep illness.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2011, 10:41:02 PM »
Correction on last post: my brother did not get, I.e. Not typical reps illness.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2011, 11:04:50 PM »
Unique,

STOP SHOUTING AT US.

We have answered your questions. You were not at risk of HIV infection and thus your symptoms are not related to HIV.

MtD

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2011, 11:19:05 PM »
Sorry Matty, I did not mean to seem like I was shouting. I was trying emphasize things.

If Ann reads this message please realize I believe you should analyze things with the addition to my ninth post which would be REPLY 11 ( and also reply 15) in addition to my original posts. Thank you all.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #19 on: January 23, 2011, 11:40:42 PM »
Sorry Matty, I did not mean to seem like I was shouting. I was trying emphasize things.

If Ann reads this message please realize I believe you should analyze things with the addition to my ninth post which would be REPLY 11 ( and also reply 15) in addition to my original posts. Thank you all.

Are you the HIV expert? No, you are not. We are the experts and you are asking for our advice.

We have taken into consideration EVERYTHING you have posted and our considered collective opinion is that you were not at any risk of being infected with HIV. You do not need to be tested for HIV.

You will not be allowed to post endlessly about non risk situations. Do it again and you will be given a 28 day ban from the forums.

Do you understand?

MtD

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2011, 11:48:53 PM »
I am sorry matty. I understand your warning. It is just that I posted Reply 11 and 15 AFTER she had responded to my post and hence did not have it available to take into consideration. If you read everything and you say no risk then thank you. I am sorry for the misunderstanding. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #21 on: January 24, 2011, 08:10:08 AM »
It doesn't matter what details you continue to pile up, the answer remains the same. You were not at risk for HIV. Period. End of story.

You also don't need to use all caps because that is considered bad form on the net. It's the same as shouting at us. We're quite capable of reading comments thoroughly without that rudeness.

And yes, if you continue to return over this non-risk incident you are going to find yourself getting at least a 28 day Time Out from the site. Consider yourself warned.

HIV is not your problem. The problem is your totally unwarranted fears. If you find you can't let go of them then perhaps you need to talk with a therapist or other professional. We can't help you with that problem in this setting other than to repeat one last time that you were not at risk. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #22 on: January 24, 2011, 09:33:45 AM »
un,

Yes, I read your additional, tedious posts. NO RISK. No risk, no risk, no risk. Got it?

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with hiv as you did not have a risk for hiv infection.

Keep posting about this at your peril. You WILL be given a time out.

PLEASE CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED FOR THE LAST TIME!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #23 on: January 31, 2011, 12:11:59 AM »
Hey guys I am in big trouble. The rash that I got on the seventh week is probably a syphilitic rash. I also remember having a sore in my lip at that time. As I said the rash was in my upper back and it itches and burned a little. I also had a rash in hands, stomach and genitals. Not in feet, just muscle twitching. These goes in hand with the bump that I saw and tried to clean at five weeks that stated above. Now I see a pin size bump where the bump used to be, I.e. In my penis head.

My concern is if I I was able to get syphilis then why could I not be at risk for HIV, specially in light of my subsequent symptoms. I am scared.

I don't want to cause trouble but, I know I did not have vaginal or anal intercourse with her. I even used a condom (albeit one that she provided with a wrapper) for oral. Buri can't to think something went
 wrong in light of the symptoms that indicate ars and syphilis infection. I am not a liar and I won't lie to you guys because that would make any assesment flawed.

Like I said above, I lied down on the mattress. I was nude. I had some pimples on back and folliculitis on buttocks area. She massaged me and eventually sat on my buttocks, she was wearing a g string. So it was basically buttocks to buttocks. Unknown if she had vaginal fluid leaking or semen in her butt.

I eventually touched her outer leg as we spoke and discussed what we were going to do. I actually signaled for hand job only but I guess she took it as bj.

I was eventually erect And lying on my back. She turned around in front of me and bent over to try to stimulate me, she touched her private area. She turned around and grabed the condom that was in a napkin. She touched the condom both sides. She tried to put in one way but had the wrong side so she
 flipped it. I believed her lips touched the inside of the condom. WHat if she had a syphillictic sore with HIV in it? She turned condom around and then she rolled it down with her mouth. When she rolled it down with her mouth she could have had her lips accidentally touch my penis head. If she had a syphilitic sore and it had HIV then I could be exposed.

In addition, as I said, she touched her self and then touched the inside of the condom, leaving fluids inside me. All the above fluids were air tight since condom was rolled down. That active HIV could remain active. In addition above action took just seconds. Plenty of time for HIV to still be viable. To complicate matters I might have had a herpes outbreak at that time. If there was fluids to sore contact or syphilictic sore containing HIV to herpetic sore contact then there would be an exposure. Please take above statements as true.

After That she gave oral for some seconds
 and she pulled out her mouth. My penis was erect and standing up and pointing towards the ceiling with my urethra wide open as I was going to finished. She continued for two more seconds until I finished and she withdrew and shook my penis for two more seconds.

At that time, she got up to get a box of Kleenex. That is when my major mistakes came. I touched the condom with my left hand, I must have touch the part that had saliva, perhaps unseen blood, or fluids from a syphilitic sore. As she also got up from the mattress I touched I touched some of her fluids. I must admit and I did panicked.

She handed me a Bottle of alcohol which I grabed with my left hand. I might have touched her had, the hand she used to touch herself. With my right hand I grabbed a Kleenex, I poured alcohol on it and my finger looked transparent and wet with the Kleenex. With left hand I grabbed penis and with right I begin to clean myself. I wiped the penis
 head and foreskin. I realize now this was a major mistake. You see the penis head is like a sponge and it it has arteries. The skin of the is very thin and the foreskin is also where HIV likes to be. This were both irritated and damaged making transmission much likely.

Once penis head was irritated. With my right hand I grabbed another Kleenex and poured alcohol. I pressed deep with the thumb, that had touched condom (and possibly those fluids), the penis head that was irritated with alcohol. I pressed it deep and hard and open my urethra and I rubbed it deep with the Kleenex with alcohol. I saw the fluids go in the urethra. If those vaginal/cervix fluids contained HIV and I know they were in there and deep that would be a mode of transmission. I have read that another STD makes HIV more easier to transfer. I also read that the Medhelp doctors say that another STD makes more concentration of hive in vaginal fluids. And that one cannot
 differentiate between vaginal fluids and cervical fluids. The incident took place on a saturday. As soon I walked out and drove away I felt a shock in my testicle. The fluids must have reached down there. That weekend I felt testicle pain.

What is scary is that days later about three and four I developed hard head shocks. A day or two later my penis head looked funny and sticky. My urination burned and the part that I pressed hard with my thumb looked red. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN THE POSSIBLE SITE OF INFECTION? That is near the area where I would eventually see the bump. If the skin was irritated could I also get HIV? Could HIV be in syphilitic fluid? Or in any other fluid that made it through the damaged penis head?

After that I experienced symptoms that seem indicative or ars. Although the line between symptoms of ars and another STD make ablittle bit difficult. About five/6  days after incident my temperature was higher. I felt
 the nodes of my body, including groin, jerk and seem to move.

By the next week(about tenth day) Which when maybe ars began, I had a string fever, and I sweating at night. I eventually felt arm pit pain, and back ache. The node in my groin seen to jerk. And my nodes seen jerk it sometime felt like something was moving in between them. I had diareah for a day or two. One time as soon as ate a burrito it instantly came out. Maybe I only had diareah because I did not have much of an appetite. I had a dry throat with lump in the back. I don't know if that was a sore throat, maybe a little. 

By the fourteenth day my nodes in my salivary gland swelled big time. I also had a swollen node under my jaw. I felt a bump under armpit. I could also had them in other places but I am not sure. General nodes.

The salivary nodes were the most difficult, inlduding the ones under each ear by jaw joint.  Eventually they subsided in a four
 days since I noticed them. But they would get back in a day or two. One day I lost partial hearing and hear a weird sound. A ringing in ear. They don't seem to get swollen like that anymore, except maybe in a little in cold weather. I live in California so the wheather is not bad at all.

Well at am about in my ninth week, and after that body rash in the seventh week. I am really scared. I tried to play safe, but I guess i was wrong. I am afraid to test because I guess I already know the answer.

I ran into trouble a couple of years back, and I made it out ok. Back then I got sick twice in the same season I was lucky it was not ars. Coincedences don't happen twice. I messed up big time. When I got into my car I just knew it.

Now I going through the flu, there is a difference between the two. Specially since now I have mucus, less body aches as well. The flu seems to be going away mow in two days.

My node still jerks sometimes in my groin, a little in flatted, plus my salivary glands swell sometimes. That is bad. I
 am playing all the combinations how I could this happen, I.e. Sore to sore, when my penis was irritated I pressed on it I transferred something, when I rubbed urethra deep with fluids. The alcohol was a problem as well.

The transaction was a matter of seconds. The free floating HIV virus or it in a cell must have still been active.

If I was able to get syphilis, or another STD in the manner in which i did makes hiv possible. Some how it got in me through the uretha as describe above or when there was irritation.

I know HIV is a fragile virus but a matter of seconds and an irritated penis. The doctors at medhelp say it is about sufficiency of virus. Not deactivation. Here are two examples that I found regarding how long the virus lives outside the body.
 
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/How-does-HIV-live/show/1120147

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Confused/show/504902

In addition if she was with a guy then her vaginal fluids could have cervical fluids. I think the following post is aimed at aidsmeds.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/vaginal-fluid-in-urethra-through-mutual-masturbation/show/543093


Do to my actions above I know I had some fluids, free floating virus or in TCells, but I do know that syphilis got in contactvwith me. Was it sore to sore or what I was carrying in fingers. My penis became irritated by alcohol that allowed transmission easier. Irriated skin of an already thin skin. This why I saw redness there a couple of days later possible site of initial infection, or dual infection. Or rubbing my urethra with fingers with fluids into the inside of hole while being irritated. Or when I was massaged and I had pimples and she sat on me. Or must have in contact with a syphilis sore or that had the virus. I had a condom for even oral and this happens. Maybe it was fluids inside condom. I hope you guys read everything maybe there is an angle there that I don't see that I could possibly gotten infected. But I am being honest. No anal, no vaginal, no kissing, no figuring, no frottage. Maybe the condom had blood may be I touched something where the virus was not deactivated. 

This is the second time I get something while using condoms. I hope I did do it to me this time. The bump was in the penis head. I know what it is, and remember penis was irritated.

Only two days and I getting over my flu, the earlier one seven weeks must have been ars. Do not reply if you have not read my post. Please do not feel the need to not disagree with the other commentators. And remember my penis was irritated and fluids were fresh. That has not been studied before.



Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2011, 12:26:52 AM »
Correction. To above: instead of string fever it should say strong high fever. Also if she had syphilis she is more likely to have HIV. Please assume she has a high viral load.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #25 on: January 31, 2011, 12:52:32 AM »
Maybe I got infected by microscopic tears caused by alcohol. Plus since I touched the condom with my left hand there was no saliva to deactivate the virus.
 
So if the doctor in the third link is correct than her vaginal fluids would be more infectious because you can't differentiate them from cervical and presence of other stds, I.e. Syphilis.


Also after my stupi attempt at cleaning myself. I rolled mynforskin over penis leaving air and perhaps allowing further transmission.
It is very likely she had a high viral load. If that was the case it did not take much fluids to infect specially on irritated penis.

Please assume she had a high viral load. As she had syphilis she could also be recently infected.

Also, lately my buthole area is been itching. But I swear I have never done any kind of anal activity. Know I am thinking that her hands came to close that area when she was massaging me.

The absurdity of something is not argument against its possibility but rather a condition of it.  Nietzsche
« Last Edit: January 31, 2011, 03:17:22 AM by Uniquename »

Offline Ann

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #26 on: January 31, 2011, 08:20:29 AM »
UN,

Have you actually been diagnosed with syphilis or are you just making assumptions? If you haven't seen a doctor about your rash, I suggest you do so. Quit trying to diagnose yourself.

Nothing you did, regardless of whether or not you were infected with syphilis, was a risk for hiv infection. You've been told this repeatedly and none of the details you added change that.

Your time out warning still stands. 

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #27 on: February 05, 2011, 02:57:25 PM »
Ann thank you for your response. I don 't know if you read reply 23.  I apologize for the long post above. I am not sure if you read it. In regards to your comment about the details added I am not sure what you are referring to. The details of what happened and what I did have remained consistent.

At the end I had no anal sex, no vaginal sex, no fingering, no frottage, no rubbing of genitals, no kissing, and I would say no masturbation (although she did move my penis with the condom on when I came), I gave no oral, just received.

However inspite of my precautions I got a bump on my penis, burning urination, prostate trembling, with ache testicles that weekend, and at about the seven week and ninth week mark clear discharge when a poop (no puss). Not to mention all the symptoms which are suggestive oh HIV above. I am afraid that I will be the odd balk case. I guess it has to happen to someone. I had my clearance when I tested negative. But I had to do it again. I guess peoples luck ran out.

The thing that bothers me is that people say that HIV cannot be transmitted outside it's host. If you looked at the links that I pasted we see that it is possible. HIV does not become inactive immediately I suppose. I hope it does. Even if it is inside a tcell.

There is much to learn about HIV and relation to other stds. And it's effect on the environment or skin to skin contact.

In response to your question. No I have no been diagnosed with syphilis. But that is irrelevant. Trust me all indications are there. I saw the bump. Body rash at 6/7 weeks that included hand, genitals, and stomach. When the rash at 7 weeks happened I even sad a sore on lip. I don't know why. (or this can be an ars rash).

I won't bore you with symptoms, they are written in my posts above.

I am just trying to solve the puzzle how this could possibly happen.

I went in for a massage and got a oral job with a condom. What is most
 amazing is that originally I did not want oral I just wanted a hand job with condom. But she misunderstood my hand signals.

She must have had syphilitic sores/lessions or chancre sore in her fingers. And as she massaged my naked body, which had big pimples and folliculitis the exposure could gave taken place.

Or when she sat on my nake butt with her butt (g string only) she must have had syphilitic sores/lessions or chancre sore in her butt or vaginal/cervix fluids on her and exposure must have happen that way when she contact my folliculitis and who knows what else.

Or whe she rolled the condom down her lips could have touched my penis head by accident (she could have had chancre sore) or she touched the condom and when she flipped it I got exposed that way. And since condom got rolled down air was locked out keeping HIV active and no saliva to neutralize it.

Or when she tried to get me excited she touched herself and touched the inside of the condom or touched my penis head when she was putting condom on. As the condom was rolled down the air was kept out.

Or when I tried to clean myself. I touched the fluids grabbed the Kleenex and poured alcohol on my right head and rubbed my penis head. That must have irritated my skin in foreskin and head, and damaging it. Then with left hand that touched condom, I touched I pressed hard my penis head that was irritated and with right hand I rubbed deep inside urethra again perhaps the HIV went in that way. Or through the pressing of my penis head. I don't know if I had a herpetic outbreak. Or if I created microscopic tears in penis head.

That weekend I felt testicle pains. Three days later sharp head pains. Five days later burning urination. Six days days later fever seemed to be want to coming in. At same time nodes were jerking all over body. About ten days out, I had fever, soreness in body, arm pit pain with bump and pinkness which indicate swolleness, dry throat with lum, diareah slight, loss of appetite during that week. Also swollen node under jaw.

 at fourteenth day, I had swollen nodes, with slight body ache. Not much fever during this week. The nodes got big in special in salivary glands, kind of lost hearing, with a ringing.

The salivary glands would inflate on and off during the next couple of weeks.

At seven weeks I had a bad rash over all body, bumps on back. Flat rash on hands with no color, rash kind of flat slight raised on genitals. Rash Left quickly. Last week I battled the flu (about ninth week). You can tell the difference between this illness and when I initially got sick. This time around, I had mucus, no loss of appetite, no soreness, and no high fever. But I did have a sore throat that was more intense but for a shorter time.

Now my hands are dry and the slightest bit of flaking. Sometimes the nodes in my groin hurt and inflate a little. Sometime my salivary glands inflate.

I am afraid I was dual infected. I am scared. I am afraid I went through ars some where in the beginning of symptoms. The doctors at medhelp say there is a thing such as mild ars where symptoms don't come at the same time. I just don't know what to think.

I wonder if the following is the same situation as mine.

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=34283.0


Does HIV piggy back on syphilis. I was think the same thing.


 

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #28 on: February 05, 2011, 02:59:28 PM »
In addition to the above, my butt hole feels different. I wonder when she messages me her hands came too close. If she had syphilis in her hands with HIV.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #29 on: February 05, 2011, 03:06:57 PM »
Ann, in addition to reply 27. Since the condom was rolled on me there was no saliva to deactivate the virus.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #30 on: February 05, 2011, 03:13:26 PM »
The thing that really bugs me. Is that the bump was in the head of my penis. Days later after massage parlor incident. I remember seeing that area red. I am afraid what thing went in.

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #31 on: February 05, 2011, 03:24:41 PM »
In addition to reply 27. Are any of my symptoms HIV specific and/or suggestive.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #32 on: February 05, 2011, 03:35:06 PM »
And in addition to everything else, you did not have a risk for HIV and I am giving you the Time Out which Ann warned you about. We're not here to indulge your self-absorption.

Discuss physical concerns with your doctor. This is not an HIV situation. Period.

Your Time Out is for 28 days. Don't make the mistake of trying to get around it by creating a new name. We'll spot that right off and it will get you permanently banned.

And finally, HIV is not your problem.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2011, 03:38:27 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #33 on: March 25, 2011, 02:44:33 AM »
Hey guys hope all is well with you. I am planning on getting tested in the future. But to be honest I am too chicken right now. But I forget to mention something last time. The devil is in the details.

Reply #23 paragraph 11: it should include the fact that I rubbed my urethra (while it was covered with Kleenex and alcohol), which is stated in paragraph 23; however, before I pressed my finger into urethra and allowing fluids to go inside urethra, I HAD PRESSED THE BACK OF PENIS HEAD (the side that has the large vein) AND DRAGED MY FINGER INTO THE URETHRA AND ALLOWED THE FLYIDS TO GO IN. This is important because she touched herself before touching the inside of the  unverified unwrapped condom and gave me oral. So when I came as I was laying back penis pointing to sky, and taking condom off as described in paragraph 23. When I dragged my finger I could have dragged the virus into the urethra when fluids went inside me. As it was put on my penis (one theory) (the rest described above). I suspect one or two drops went in me.

As I said with other symptoms of alleged ars listed in paragraph 23, I had burning urination, no more, testicle pain, very slight seldom now. However, I do have slight pulsating sometimes one pinch in my nodes here and there, E.g. pain groin node or jaw node. Is the deases advancing? Also, I said above I had salivary gland swollen, it was actually parotid to be more precise it is the cheek jaw joint area. And after my initial alleged ars symptoms I had a bad case of the flu that started  about two moths after initial alleged ars symptoms, I had it on and off for a couple of weeks. Also, in occasions I broke out in fevers with night sweats.

Also, I could have caught gono, clamydia, ngu. This would increase HIV shedding. Plus if she is high viral load.  Plus I might have had an untreated/unssuccesfully treated ngu/gono/clamydia. Plus I might had had herpes out brake.

Plus I do remember her touching the very tip of the condom with her fingers , remember finger with fluids, and since she flipped the condom, the would be directly above urethra.

What makes me worried and sad is that I read this article. That person had no risk?

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=36877.0

Anyways, I apologize for posting again, it will not happen again. That was the last bit of information that I forgot to tell you. Remeber I did no anal, vaginal, unprotected oral, masturbation, frottage, kissing. Just my dumbness above with an illegal massage parlor.    
« Last Edit: March 25, 2011, 03:30:27 AM by Uniquename »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #34 on: March 25, 2011, 07:30:56 AM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #35 on: March 25, 2011, 07:51:22 AM »
And despite the details you are now adding to the mix, you still did not do anything that put you at risk for HIV.

I suggest you get yourself some professional help to deal with your unwarranted fears about HIV.

We are not going to indulge you in another cycle of what ifs and but what about this detail. You did not have a risk for HIV. Period.

Get on with your life. Your obsessiveness about HIV is not something we can address in this setting. See a therapist or other professional about that.

HIV is not your problem.
Andy Velez

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #36 on: March 27, 2011, 02:15:18 PM »
Andy, I will take your advise and seek professional help. I think you mean mental help.

It is just that when she touched the condom with her fingers, including the tip, they were inside the condom. On the part where the urethra and head go. I don't know of I had a herpetic outbreak.  Oral was for a few second, she stopped, my urethra open and then she continued for few more seconds and I came. She took condom off with Kleenex.

Well I already explained my scenario, there is no point bon going all of them. I guess the one that is bothering me now is that I tried to clean my penis with alcohol on Kleenex, I dragged fluids of back of head into urethra. It must have been mixed with my semen and perhaps alcohol. My mind tells me that since I dragged the stuff vaginal fluids were more in amount than semen or alcohol. I think two -3 drops went inside me. Plus I closed the tip and left air out. I rolled my foreskin over penis head which both were clean with alcohol, so that has me scared, as possible irritation mixed vaginal fluids. I must admit I don't know how much vaginal fluid.

Well when I got to my car I felt shocks right away. I am afraid the fluids inside, mixed with alcohol, penetrated my mucus, and the presence of alcohol "called" the t-cells which would aid in infection.

Two weeks later I had flu like symptoms, without congestion/stuffy nose, I heard that is how ars is like. Plus my family member just told me that around that time I had about three pimple things on back. I was not taking showers when I was sick, so I cannot rule ars rash at that time period. The person I was with was a skinny csw.

My mind equates what I did with unprotected sex such as anal, because the presence of alcohol irritated me and inside of urethra allowing for easier transmission. In anal sex things get torn and injured as well.

 Please not I never had unprotected vaginal sex. And have never had anal sex. 

I will seek professional mental help. I just worried about the above. Any comments.

   

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #37 on: March 27, 2011, 02:20:42 PM »
There's nothing more for us to add. Your what ifs and addition of details don't change a thing. You did not have a risk for HIV period.

And yes, I did mean a therapist or other mental health professional for you to talk about your unwarranted fears about HIV. We cannot provide that kind of help in this setting.

This continues to NOT be an HIV situation. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #38 on: March 27, 2011, 02:31:51 PM »
Thanks andy, There is absolutely no more facts I could add. It is that simple no anal or vaginal sex with csw. Just what I wrote above about my worries. And the oral sex with unverified unwrapped condom.

Last question, so my symptoms are irrelevant for purposes of acute HIV?

I will not add any more questions. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #39 on: March 27, 2011, 04:13:50 PM »
I don't know how much more clearly I can say this is NOT an HIV situation. Period. End of story.

Even if you had oral sex without a condom it would not have been a risk.

HIV is not your problem. Your symptoms have nothing to do with acute HIV or HIV in anyway whatsoever.
Andy Velez

Offline Uniquename

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #40 on: April 04, 2011, 11:01:21 AM »
Only authorized commentators may respond.

Ok, so this is what happened. A close friend, Who I trust, works at the doctor's where I did my previous physical  and blood exam (last time was April 2010. I told her my situation. She assists the doctor everyday. Well I was very scared to go to the doctors so we met at my aunts house at 7:00 pm. And she took my blood out. I sam sure she took the blood to her home and to the clinic on the following morning. She told me she was going store  it in refrigeration at her home.

On march 29, 2011 around it was picked up by the laboratory. It is legit laboratory in Los Angeles.

Me being anxious she called the lab on march 30, 2011 to fax over the results. It was four pages worth, I have the papers.

They did various tests, some which showed pending.

My WBC was 12.3!

As far as stds is concerned:

Test.                                               Normal/abnormal.                         Reference range
Syphilis screen serology.           Non reactive.                                  Non reactive.   



The most important:

HIV I/II screen.                              *PENDING*.                                 NON Reactive

The lab sheet read: 

"This is a screening test only, confirmatory test is required for all reactive results.

This test is performed using the Siemens ADVIA Centaur CHEMILUMINESCENCE assay. Currently available assays for the detection of antibodies to HIV -1 and   / or HIV - 2 may not detect all infected individuals. A non reactive test result does not exclude the possibility of exposure to or infection with HIV. HIV antibodies may be undetectable is some stages of infection and in some clinic conditions"

Well I know here my HIV test is pending. My friend told me that she is not worried because, if the lab would have found something that needed immediate attention they would have notified the clinic immediately.

 The next day on march 31, 2011, she got another faxed  report that replaced the word "*Pending*" to "NON REACTIVE"

A couple of other like glucose still showed pending.

I was worried about the antibodies disappearing if the blood was no good to test, because she took to her home. She told me not to worry whatsoever, because if the blood she took in a blood tube was not any good to test, then laboratory would have requested another blood sample and would have noted it on the LAb report. She did this as personal favor to me.

I also have the report that says that I am HIV non reactive (both in the normal abnormal and reference range).

She showed the report to doctor, and he said that meant I was negative.

The report  date collected 3/29/2011,  date received 3/30/11, date reported 3/31/2011.

I guess I should be happy, I guess what worries me is the bump that I got on my penis at about five weeks, that lasted for a week. It started leaving after two days after I stretched it and cleaned it with water. It was circular/ oval and slightly raised. The bump was veer soft. About 1 cm in diameter. It seemed like it wanted to take a chancre shape but did not. It came back a week later and left in two days. It left a pin size bump but it is not there any more.

I never had scaly or peeling skin on my penis head. But my outer foreskin is very soft. It has at times a baby power feel to it. There is like dust or powder on it at times. Dead skin?

Well. I am afraid that I have syphilis and if syphilis then HIV.

My testicles hurt very little at times, but my prostate area sometimes shakes.

I guess I have to see the doctor because of prostate.  Doctor  wants to see me because of slight inflammation of liver. But there was no visible blood between me and csw! So know I am thinking hep c and HIV.

My incident occurred November 20, 2010.

Should I be happy with test results?

       

   
 

Offline Ann

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Re: Did I infect myself?
« Reply #41 on: April 04, 2011, 02:05:35 PM »
UN,

You do not have hiv, which is no big surprise as you never had a risk in the first place, as you have been repeatedly told.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently warned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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