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Ok, maybe I'm having another one of my midlife crisis, or maybe I'm crazy, or MAYBE I'm just lucky...
 About 3 months ago I started "talking" to a man I met from Poz Personals. We have talked on the phone everyday and have gotten to know each other very well ( I hope) He seems to be everything a woman could want in a man ( is he too good to be true?) He lives in Brooklyn, I live in Kentucky so we haven't met face to face yet. Hes divorced( whoo whoo NOT a married man! :o ) has  a promising career, is educated, likes kids and dogs, thinks I'm funny, smart and cute  ::) So, whats the problem ? He has asked me several times if he can come here or if he could fly me there so we can meet, I've always made some excuse why not ( I DON"T KNOW WHY) but now hes taken matters into his own hands and informed me yesterday he will be here next week for my birthday. Half of me is totally excited and can't wait for him to get here, the other half is scared to death! WHY?? I'm not a naive young girl, I know the score ( obviously)  Hes even talking about "IF we get along as well in person as we do on the phone" that he  wouldn't be opposed to relocating here.
 Ok , as usual when I need  advice, reassurance, support I come here to the family, and here I am....
AM I being silly? Why is my stomach in a turmoil?  I've been a single mom for 7 years now (and doing it quite well most of the time I might add) but it sure would be nice to have someone next to me again, to talk, share, touch... all that " couple" stuff I thought I'd left behind me for ever.
 My two older daughters are having a tizzy, they think Mom has lost her mind, taking up with some  fool on the internet! He's probably a mass murderer at the very least they say  :o THEY make me feel embarrassed by the way we found each other.
If being positive has taught me anything I guess its the realization  that there are no guarantees in life and  you have to grab your happiness when you can. I want to do that with Joseph, I'm just so scared...
 Please, give me your thoughts...
Trish and John, you two are my inspiration, if I could have what the two of you have found I'd be so happy!


--- Quote from: Jena on June 02, 2006, 08:44:12 PM ---AM I being silly? 

--- End quote ---

No - not at all

--- Quote from: Jena on June 02, 2006, 08:44:12 PM ---Why is my stomach in a turmoil?   

--- End quote ---

Tha'ts normal - I hope he's Mr Right  ;)


Joe K:

With all due respect to your daughters, they don't know Jack.  I met Stephen on the Internet and that was six years ago and it's not like you are cruising for sex and asked the guy to just come over for a quickie.  I say you go with your gut and if it feels right, then let it happen.  I would expect that he will have as many "butterflies" in his stomach as you will.  I assume you have swapped photos, so what's not to like?

What makes a relationship special is when two people spend time together, in whatever fashion works for them.  The fact that you found him on the Internet is no different from meeting him at the local pub, the bottom line is you are an adult and being a poz adult, well we know that some things only come around a few times in life.  This might be one of those times and the only investment you have so far is time, so again, what's not to like?

Have a great birthday together and do what makes you happy.  Your daughters only want you to be happy, but they can't understand that certain yearning that haunts us pos folks.  Most people would trade places with you in a heartbeat, but the bottom line remains, how many times do we get a chance to find something meaningful?  Not half as often as we like.  If your gut agrees, if I was you, I wouldn't be missing any chances.

Internet dating is actually pretty common these days. Alot of people I know internet date. Having said that I always felt uncomfortable about it. But damn, HIV+ people have enough dating road blocks. To me it seems absolutely necesssary. So I've tried to meet people on with no luck. One night I thought, 'I can't find any girls in Chicago. I wonder if there's any in Tokyo because I love Tokyo'. So I typed something like "hiv personals japan" in google and I found one and emailed her. We've become friends. We email each other and talk occaisonally on the phone. I talked to her tonight so I'm in a good mood. Anyway, is it fate? Where's it going? Who knows who cares. I'm happy to follow it out to its conclusion though. I know she's like the only true friend I've had going through such a rough transition in my life. I think we'll always be friends no matter what happens.



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