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Author Topic: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?  (Read 9650 times)

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Offline d-boy86

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I believe I asked this question before. Do you believe with today's medications that a 20-year old diagnosed today could expect to live a normal life expectancy? I've read articles on the main home page that says so, but I wanted your opinions.

Offline woodshere

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2010, 01:02:28 PM »
I dare say that the answers you received mid December in this thread:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=35760.msg445314#msg445314

will be much the same this time around.  Don't think much has changed since then.  And remember you can always review your posts in your profile.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline d-boy86

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2010, 01:04:18 PM »
Thanks. So me living to 70 is definitely possible?

Offline woodshere

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2010, 01:11:46 PM »
Who knows how long any of us are going to live with or without HIV.  I tend not to dwell on it.  I live until I don't.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline mecch

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2010, 01:21:01 PM »
Who knows. What do you have in mind by "normal"?  My guess is, 50 years from now, if they study people who serocoverted at 20 and received medical care since, that statistically HIV will have shaved a few years off average life expectancy, whatever it is at that future date.

I also think eventually, and after you get undetectable and all your mojo back, you can think about educating your mother about the current state of affairs.  I think it will be a shock, if she has lost loved ones to HIV, that now her son is HIV+, but also "20 years" is a long time to keep her in the dark about you personally, for the both of you, and also about the good news about living with HIV.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline d-boy86

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2010, 02:01:54 PM »
Thank you for your advice, but you have no idea how much my mom has went through. If you were in my shoes, you'd understand.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2010, 02:14:31 PM »
Thank you for your advice, but you have no idea how much my mom has went through. If you were in my shoes, you'd understand.

If we were in your shoes, you would not need or solicit our opinions, as you would know them. It's precisely because we are in our own, unique places that we have our own perspectives.

My answer has not changed. Yes, you can live as long or as short of a life as you would have lived without HIV, provided you take meds if/when you need them, provided you have the mental fortitude to deal with this disease in ways that do not destroy your health.

Your life will be different, of course, than it would have been otherwise. But that original timeline is erased. The sooner you can start thinking of this as your original universe and not an alternate one, the sooner you can invest in it, live in it, and not make yourself crazy by tracing a history that will never be written.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline d-boy86

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2010, 02:27:19 PM »
jkinatl2 My response was to Mecch who suggested I should tell my mom now. Now to those who replied prior to Mecch's post.


Offline mecch

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2010, 02:33:51 PM »
No dear, now does not seem like the time.  But waiting 20 years doesnt seem wise either. I just think, and wish, that when you get your undetectable status in ink and paper, it wont be long until you feel secure and confident in your health and your youth and your strength, to take on the task of educating mom.  With all her experience, she can help you. And with all your experience as a young person who will NOT face the same horrors as her lost ones, you can help her.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline d-boy86

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2010, 02:39:12 PM »
Okay -- sorry for the mis-understanding Mecch. My VL went from 103k all the way down to simply "80" in just a matter of 6 weeks of Atripla. Not 80k...exactly "80"  ;D That was about a month ago. I'm sure I'm undetectable as of now. My CD4's even jumped from 390 to 628. Which is higher than what they even were when I was diagnosed. They were a 612 when I was diagnosed I believe. I kept testing negative weeks prior but I told the doctor I knew something was wrong so she told me to come back at the 4 week mark of the time I believe I was infected. I did and my test came back positive. My % was at 13 and climbed to 19 within 6 weeks of Atripla.

One thing I do know I need to change is my diet and my work out habits. I am such a lazy person. But I work two jobs and go to school so I guess I'm not too lazy right?

Offline sfbayjeff

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2010, 02:48:14 PM »
D-Boy:  I've known my status for a year and a week now, and when I found out, I had also been diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma, stage 4, a few weeks prior.  I had been out of touch and in a long term fight with my parents for at least a year when I found out, and I told them relatively immediately about my cancer diagnosis.  Anything that was an issue before went out the window because they knew that I needed them to support me and help me to get better.  Now, a year later, I'm cancer free, and I'm working on getting my hiv to a manageable level.

I still haven't told my family about my status.  I completely understand your perspective of wanting to wait a long period of time until you can prove to your mom that you're okay.  I keep thinking the same thing - they just finished worrying about me being sick from cancer and are finally feeling better about my health, how can I possibly add this to the mix?  The question I keep asking myself is how can I not?  How can I walk around and not tell them the truth?  I know they're gonna be there for me, and I know that I can rely on them for whatever.  It sounds like your mom would be the same way. 

Let me ask you this:  how will you cope with the next 20 years without having that support system in place and essentially maintaining a lie?  The decision to tell (or not) is just as much about you getting what you need from other people as it is them feeling connected to you and your life.  Telling her now versus telling her years from now is still going to be difficult; she'll still have the memories from the past, and she'll still be worried about her son, regardless of what medical advances occur and your health when you tell.  She's your mom - she's gonna worry no matter what and it's going to be difficult for both of you no matter when you tell her.  I imagine it would be easier to tell her now, educate her on the current state of treatments and your particular situation, and know that you always have an ally in your corner to support you.  Protecting her from an inevitable truth isn't really protecting her at all, it's just shading her eyes temporarily.

 
Lymphona Diagnosis 11/09
Positive Test Results: 12/09
1/2010:  VL 90,000, CD4 0
Started Atripla, 3/2010
5/2010: VL 8,000 CD4 14

Offline mecch

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2010, 02:48:37 PM »
Hey, if you are working two jobs and going to school, I wouldn't add being a gym bunny to list of obligations. Get your degree - its very important you get a good career going and have a stable income. Very very important for a young person to feel valuable in the marketplace.  Good luck!
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline d-boy86

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2010, 02:53:38 PM »
Thank you :-) So again. It is definitely possible to live to see 70?

Sorry I'm just very worrisome. I hope you understand. It hasn't been exactly a year for me yet. I do plan on telling my mom before 20 years bypass though. Maybe in the next 5.

Offline woodshere

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2010, 03:22:13 PM »
As far as telling your mom or any one for that matter, you will know when the time is right.  There is no set pattern and all of us do it differently.  Personally I tried 3 different times to tell my mom and finally a year and a half into this journey I did.  The main reason is I didn't want to live a lie and thought it would be better me telling her on my terms rather than her finding out some other way.  I am sure you'll figure it all out.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2010, 06:16:45 PM »
jkinatl2 My response was to Mecch who suggested I should tell my mom now. Now to those who replied prior to Mecch's post.



I believe I responded to your question, but thanks for the dismiss. Best of luck.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #15 on: December 29, 2010, 06:19:19 PM »
never mind
« Last Edit: December 29, 2010, 06:21:34 PM by Choofnhurl »

Offline wonderful1

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2010, 07:07:50 PM »
d-boy86,

Yes, I believe without a doubt that treated HIV will not effect you living a normal life expectancy. Take your meds best you can. Better things to come. Happy New Year friend..

Offline mecch

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2010, 07:10:07 PM »
Thank you :-) So again. It is definitely possible to live to see 70?

Sorry I'm just very worrisome. I hope you understand. It hasn't been exactly a year for me yet. I do plan on telling my mom before 20 years bypass though. Maybe in the next 5.

Well, thats a change - see?  Just a bit ago you were swearing it would be 20-25 years!

Needless to say, nobody here would wish HIV on young people (or anyone for that matter).  It must be a blow, considering teens and twenties are all about building for life.   But I'm sure you'll be fine.  At least you seem very ambitious and hardworking.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline wolfter

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2010, 09:02:39 PM »
I couldn't conceive of being 60 when I was only 20.  I never thought I'd make it to 40 even without AIDS.   Now I've had the virus/AIDS for over 20 years and suddenly 60 doesn't seem so bad.  Good luck and stop stressing about future so much that you don't enjoy the present.

Greg
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2010, 09:14:49 PM »


My answer has not changed. Yes, you can live as long or as short of a life as you would have lived without HIV, provided you take meds if/when you need them, provided you have the mental fortitude to deal with this disease in ways that do not destroy your health.


Just add a little to what JK said.

There are many factores, some related to HIV and some are not related, which can determine how long a person with HIV will live..here are a few:

1..how well you look after yourself emotionally and physically.
2..Decisions about treatments.
3..How well treatments work for you.
4..co-infections with other illness's such as sexually transmitted infections and Hepatitis.
5..Genetic factors.

Doing this for 20 years can have a big effect on your body, and your mental attitude towards this virus and the drugs you have to take for the rest of your life may change also...no-one knows what's in store for us down the line ,except those who have been there and who have spent 20+ years taking meds that don't always agree with them, personally I just take it a day at a time and listen to those who have experienced the changes it has made to their life, and I'm thankful they are here to help the rest of us through difficult times.


As far a s telling your Mother, only you will know when the time is right.

Aroha
Jan
« Last Edit: December 29, 2010, 09:17:50 PM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline decayingsinner

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2011, 08:13:09 PM »
I never really stressed about how long I will live.  Even before I was diagnosed, I never thought I would live to see 80.. Maybe 70.  I was diagnosed at 28, and while I'm only 30 now,  I really am much more optimistic about seeing 70 and if not, longer.  I truly believe with science and today's medicine, we all can live healthy, long lives if we choose.

Offline gerry69

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2011, 06:31:26 PM »
D-Boy: 
I still haven't told my family about my status.  I completely understand your perspective of wanting to wait a long period of time until you can prove to your mom that you're okay.  I keep thinking the same thing - they just finished worrying about me being sick from cancer and are finally feeling better about my health, how can I possibly add this to the mix?  The question I keep asking myself is how can I not?  How can I walk around and not tell them the truth?  I know they're gonna be there for me, and I know that I can rely on them for whatever.  It sounds like your mom would be the same way. 

I read through this thread a few days ago and for some reason it stuck with me.  While no one can tell you with 100% certainty what to do in terms of deciding when, where, how and if you want to tell your mom.
I think one of the things you need to answer is not so much how can I not but what happens if I don't.....and who am I really trying to protect.....I also think that the longer you wait the harder it will become.....avoiding it now may only cause greater pain and misunderstanding later.....

There is no question that the with the right treatment and care it is possible you will be around to see what many might consider a ripe old age -- and that means this may not be the greatest challenge you face in dealing with the life you build for yourself.  It is one factor of many.

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2011, 10:53:51 PM »
"Expect to live forever."

One of my favorite lines from my shrink when I asked her a similar question when I had just found
out about my positive status.
Positive since 1985

Offline aztecan

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #23 on: January 04, 2011, 12:30:15 AM »
Hey DBoy,

Just to follow up on what Jan said, there are many factors that will affect how long and how well you live.

One way to find out what hand the fates have dealt you would be to look at your family, particularly your parents and grandparents.

The reason I point this out is that, while you are young, you can actually start taking steps to help improve your health and your life as you grow older. To do this, find out what ails your parents and determine what you might need to do to avoid this problem.

I have done this to some extent, and, I can say, I have managed to avoid some of the health pitfalls my father experienced by the time he was my age.

Of course, I'm a pozzie, which he never had to deal with, so there are some differences.  ;)

If you drink or drug a lot, that will have an impact. If your are overweight, out of condition and eat a terrible diet, those, too, can affect you.

In other words, don't wait until you're 40 to begin thinking about staying healthy or living a more healthy lifestyle.

I don't mean give up your social life, or red meat, etc.

But I am a firm believer in moderation and balance, and it has served me well.

Lastly, I would just add that you should stop worrying how long you will live.

What really matters is how well you live, so live each day as though it were your last.

Edited to add: Regarding telling your mother, you are the best judge of that. Only you can judge when the time is right. Don't rush into disclosing to anyone.

HUGS,

Mark

« Last Edit: January 04, 2011, 12:39:32 AM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline madbrain

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2011, 03:53:30 AM »
I believe I asked this question before. Do you believe with today's medications that a 20-year old diagnosed today could expect to live a normal life expectancy? I've read articles on the main home page that says so, but I wanted your opinions.

Since you solicited opinions :

1) I would start by striking the word "normal" from your vocabulary. It really means nothing. When it comes to life expectancy, whose normal are you trying to compare it to ? A baby born with HIV in Africa in 25 years ago ? A female born 40 years ago in Europe ? Or a male born yesterday in America ? We are all individuals with different characteristics, including genetics, environment, and behavior. We are more or less susceptible to certain diseases. And we are all at risk of accidents. We have to play the cards that we are dealt.

2) You drew the HIV card, like everyone else in these forums. You probably want to compare your current life expectancy with what it might have been before you contracted HIV. I had the same concern 4 years ago when I was diagnosed. All other things being equal, I don't think you will find anyone telling you that having HIV will extend your life.
Certainly not having untreated HIV. If you start treatment early enough and take your pills regularly, the drugs should keep the virus at bay indefinitely, but the best they can do is make your life expectancy the same as if you didn't have HIV. And there is evidence that many HIV drugs have some unwanted long-term side effects in some patients, so it is likely that life expectancy is still lower, but it may be too early to tell how much lower for many recent drugs.

3) All other things are not equal. Simply knowing that you have HIV affects your life, not just your life expectancy. You might end up living a healthier lifestyle than you would otherwise if you were HIV negative. Combined with treatment, that might actually more than compensate for whatever negative effect HIV will have. Your life will undoubtedly take a different path. It already has - you wouldn't be on this forum otherwise, and neither would I.

4) Don't fixate on a very high life expectancy. There is quality and quantity. It is a luxury to be able to have both. You can rarely predict when life will end, but you can make the best of the time you have, especially while you are still young.

My father passed away last year. He didn't make it to 80, or even 70. He got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on june 30. I went to visit him in the upcoming weeks as soon as I could get a ticket to fly the 6000 miles. One of the last things he told me in mid-July is that he was sorry that he didn't come to visit me when I was diagnosed with HIV in november of 2006, after I told him the next month on the phone. My reply was that there was no comparison between the stages of our 2 diseases, and it was natural for me to come in this case. I never held it against him for not visiting at that time. In fact, he only lived for 62 days after his diagnosis, and passed away on september 1, at the age of 67, . The survival rate for pancreatic cancer 5 years after diagnosis is only 5%.  That is unfortunately very much a death sentence. Not to be confused with HIV and today's treatments.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2011, 03:55:54 AM »
My mother is 82 and has Alzheimer's. A life expectancy of 100 is entirely possible for her. A worse fate, neither her or her family can contemplate, as her aggression and dementia continue to progress.

Careful what you wish for.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline madbrain

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2011, 04:13:16 AM »
My mother is 82 and has Alzheimer's. A life expectancy of 100 is entirely possible for her. A worse fate, neither her or her family can contemplate, as her aggression and dementia continue to progress.

Careful what you wish for.



I was still editing my post when one of my cats submitted it for me prematurely.
Despite his life being unexpectedly short, my father still had a very good and successful life. His life was always about his love of science - nuclear physics - and he never fully retired, though he was only working about 20% as a volunteer the last few years.

My grandmother, at 86, also has Alzheimer's for over a decade. She lives with my mother, who insists on taking care for her in her apartment. My mother couldn't stand the daily phone calls when grandma was in the nursing home 2 years ago, so she took her back home. She has not had a day off since that time since my aunt and uncle don't care to help. I don't know how my mom does it. It's not clear if she will outlive my grandma.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2011, 04:58:35 AM »
I was still editing my post when one of my cats submitted it for me prematurely.
Despite his life being unexpectedly short, my father still had a very good and successful life. His life was always about his love of science - nuclear physics - and he never fully retired, though he was only working about 20% as a volunteer the last few years.

My grandmother, at 86, also has Alzheimer's for over a decade. She lives with my mother, who insists on taking care for her in her apartment. My mother couldn't stand the daily phone calls when grandma was in the nursing home 2 years ago, so she took her back home. She has not had a day off since that time since my aunt and uncle don't care to help. I don't know how my mom does it. It's not clear if she will outlive my grandma.


There is much to be said about quality versus quantity of life. I was once my Mom's best friend, and considered her mine. Now I get to watch, and help where I can, and mourn all the time.

I really hope that we can overcome this numbers thing and concentrate on what matters; having a good life, regardless of the length of time we have left.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline woodshere

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2011, 08:39:33 AM »
There is much to be said about quality versus quantity of life. I was once my Mom's best friend, and considered her mine. Now I get to watch, and help where I can, and mourn all the time.

I really hope that we can overcome this numbers thing and concentrate on what matters; having a good life, regardless of the length of time we have left.


Quality vs quantity, hmmmm.  I had a client die last year at 104.  She was bedridden, but surprisingly alert.  She had outlived 2 husbands, all her children and all her friends.  A few years before she passed she told one of my employees she had had a good life but was ready to die.  Unfortunately her body wasn't and she just waited. 

Worrying about how long we will live in my opinion is an exercise in futility.  Planning for the future yes, but worrying how long we live not so much.  In reality there is only so much we can do when it comes to how long we live.  All I can do is what I am supposed to do, take meds, eat healthy, exercise don't step out in front of the bus and all that stuff, the rest takes care of itself.  I choose to concentrate on living in the here and now.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Joe K

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #29 on: January 04, 2011, 11:26:53 AM »
To be honest, how long I think you might live is meaningless, because I know almost nothing about you.  You are asking a question that has no answer.  What I can offer is I have lived with HIV for 27 years and been on antivirals for 25 years and my CD4s are in the 300 range and have been for decades.  I suggest that rather worrying about your longevity, you spend your time just living.

I do however, have a request for you.  I want you to tell your mother you are poz and here is why.  I am a LTS, so I have shared the same misery as your mom, in losing loved ones to HIV.  I am also a parent and I know that all your mom cares about is you.  You are her child, her son and as such you are a focal point in her life.  To a parent, there is nothing more precious than our children and what hurts us the most, is the idea that our own children could not, or would not, come to us in times of trouble.

I guarantee that the longer you wait to tell her, the more hurt she will be.  The reason I say this is she understands HIV, she has lost people to it and now you have it, but won't tell her.  How would you feel if she had a serious illness and decided to not tell you?  More importantly however, is that by not telling her, you are denying her the ability to support you, a job she has been learning since the day you were born.  I hope you can reflect and maybe understand how your not telling her is being horribly unfair to her.  

Parents are incredibly strong and I hope you tell her soon, like tonight, because in one way, you are insulting her ability to deal with this issue, because you choose to remain silent.  You will not even give her the chance, to do what she does best... be your mom.  Please tell her soon.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2011, 11:31:01 AM by killfoile »

Offline Ann

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #30 on: January 04, 2011, 12:29:31 PM »
I guarantee that the longer you wait to tell her, the more hurt she will be.

you are insulting her ability to deal with this issue, because you choose to remain silent.

As the mother of a 24 y/o daughter, I have to totally agree with what Joe said. I've made sure my daughter is well-educated about hiv and how to protect herself yet if she were to become positive, I would want to know. There's no way I would be judgemental about it - she's only human and humans make mistakes, just like I did. I would hope that she knows me well enough to know that I would react to the news with nothing but concern, comfort and understanding.

If she decided to keep it a secret from me, I would feel very hurt and insulted indeed.
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Offline buginme2

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #31 on: January 04, 2011, 05:45:57 PM »
question:    
Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?

Answer?
Probably Not

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #32 on: January 04, 2011, 06:00:46 PM »
I suggest you financial plan to live to be at least 80.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #33 on: January 04, 2011, 06:01:33 PM »
question:    
Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?

Answer?
Probably Not

An expert has spoken.  Why even bother replying if it isn't with something meaningful to the OP?  Are you just trying to reach 100 posts?
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline eric48

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #34 on: January 04, 2011, 06:40:07 PM »
Hi,

with regards to telling your mom,

With all due respect to Ann and Kilfoil, please kindly count me in the opposition group.

I put it in a different perspective and also a different social/religious/cultural background (family is boudhist, etc, ...)

As long as there is not immediate threat for yourself and others, any worry that you have, you may want to keep it for yourself.

As long as immediate assistance from your loved ones is not required, your purpose in life is their happiness and well being.

Adding unneeded stress and uneasiness to their life is pointless and, as far as I am concerned, I would consider it a selfish thing for me to do.

But that is a personnal perspective. Everyone is different and has a different context.

What is the benefit for your mother? Will she be more happy after the announcement ?

On a happiness scale, are you pushing (her) cursor upwards or downwards ?

Talk about daily stuff, movies you've like, boys you find attractive and keep that S**t (excuse my French) to yourself.

Even if I had a serious condition (which, quite fortunatly, I do not have), I would do what I have to do, get things prepared and wait for he last moment to ruin their peacefull lives.

What benefit is there in 'confessing' something you could just as well tell tommorrow or the day after tommorrow.

I can assure you, telling your mom will not improve your CD4 count ;-)

SHE may have a serious condition, and, SHE, may be, is hiding it from you, for your own sake and hapiness.

And NO you are NOT going to have a normal life expectancy. Put that out of your mind.

Your are going to get MORE

With all the health care and assistance your are going to get, with the modern meds and stuff, you are going to outlive all your school mates !!!

(as least those who smoke, eat too much and will develop a X syndrome at 50, or commit suicide after their third divorce and so on...)

Cheers

Eric
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Offline buginme2

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #35 on: January 04, 2011, 06:43:37 PM »
Rev Moon:

An expert has spoken.  Why even bother replying if it isn't with something meaningful to the OP?  Are you just trying to reach 100 posts?

Okay, Let me try again:
Question:  Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?

Answer: Yes you will live to be 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Satisfied.  Its hard to have a meaningful answer when the question is meaningless.

Offline woodshere

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #36 on: January 04, 2011, 06:58:28 PM »
As far as telling your mom, I would put more weight on the advice of parents rather than non parents.  After telling my mom she said that she was glad i had told her.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline eric48

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #37 on: January 04, 2011, 07:23:53 PM »
As far as telling your mom, I would put more weight on the advice of parents rather than non parents. 

I fully agree

Oh, BTW, also count me in the parent group...

Eric
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Offline woodshere

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #38 on: January 04, 2011, 07:27:03 PM »
I fully agree

Oh, BTW, also count me in the parent group...

Eric

So as a parent you are saying if your child was HIV+ you would not want him or her to tell you.  So glad I have the mom I have
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline mecch

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #39 on: January 04, 2011, 07:29:39 PM »
I suggest you financial plan to live to be at least 80.

Suzy Ormond is my new hero. I think she would surely give me a D if she saw my financial state at this age of life! "Divorce" and HIV threw a wrench into what I had been planning!
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline wolfter

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #40 on: January 04, 2011, 07:54:58 PM »
Rev Moon:

An expert has spoken.  Why even bother replying if it isn't with something meaningful to the OP?  Are you just trying to reach 100 posts?

Okay, Let me try again:
Question:  Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?

Answer: Yes you will live to be 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Satisfied.  Its hard to have a meaningful answer when the question is meaningless.

If you find the OP's question meaningless, why choose to comment instead of dismissing his feelings?  I found nothing meaningless about it and it is a legitimate concern. 
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #41 on: January 04, 2011, 08:08:10 PM »


Satisfied.  Its hard to have a meaningful answer when the question is meaningless.

No, I'm not satisfied.  That is not the point at any rate.   You seem to be on a roll today (your name today seems to be more "bug up yours" instead of the moniker you gave yourself).  You don't need to disrespect the OP or his question; if you find it to be meaningless you could have simply ignored it and moved on.  
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Ann

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #42 on: January 04, 2011, 10:52:17 PM »
Even if I had a serious condition (which, quite fortunatly, I do not have),

I thought you were hiv positive? Because if you are, you DO have a serious condition. If you are not hiv positive and therefore do not have a serious condition, you should not be posting in forums meant for hiv positive people only.
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #43 on: January 05, 2011, 05:28:40 AM »
yes, a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

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Offline eric48

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #44 on: January 05, 2011, 07:55:27 AM »
you DO have a serious condition. ...

On a rating and ranking scale of seriousness of a condition please kindly rank the following:

- fast developping cancer
- untreated or untreatable cancer
- type I diabetes (4 insulin injections/day)
- type 2 diabetes (with injections)
- untreatable infection (some meningitis, etc)
- treatable cancer
- HIV diagnosis BUT not taking meds
- HIV with meds and virologic failure(s)
- HIV with successfull HAART
- syndrome x
- hypertension
- VHC
- type 2 diabetes (no injections)

IMHO, HIV with successfull HAART is ranking in the lowest, and at least, my personal view, way lower than HIV diagnosis BUT not taking meds

HIV with successfull HAART, is not was I call a serious condition that requires immediate and caring family assistance

Having your kids educated about HIV is one thing that any parent should do (regardless of HIV status)

Explaining your 'educated' kids that one is HIV+ BUT not taking meds must be a more difficult task. I am not sure I could afford that luxury.

Just some thoughts

Eric
« Last Edit: January 05, 2011, 08:43:40 AM by eric48 »
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #45 on: January 05, 2011, 08:12:10 AM »
uh, Eric -- if your diagnosis isn't such a big thing then why did you say you call your doctor every day and keep a picture of him on your computer next to your bed as the desktop image.  I can't imagine doing that with a diabetes diagnosis.
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Offline eric48

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #46 on: January 05, 2011, 08:28:21 AM »
Guess why ... May be closer to be than you might imagine. That is all left to your fantasy.

I talk to people (on a daily basis) does not mean I have tp call them up over the phone. LOL.

I also keep pictures of my favorite actors and other people of interest (to me)

Just for fun

Eric
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Offline d-boy86

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #47 on: January 05, 2011, 09:03:47 AM »
Hi Eric -- You just really made my morning. It is absolutely nothing wrong with what you said.

In fact -- I agree with about everyone here. I honestly don't know when the right time would be to tell my mom. But like another member said, why bother when I can pretty much live a normal healthy life?

To each it's own I guess. But my mom has lost too many people with the disease, and educating her about HIV now, regardless of how it isn't a death sentence anymore would still worry her. My mother is strong, but she is very emotional. There have been times when she sought suicide and abused drugs all because the lost of her close friends and relatives. Right now she is the happiest that she has ever been in her life and has been that way for almost 10 years now. I am not willing to rain on her parade.

Offline eric48

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #48 on: January 05, 2011, 09:32:29 AM »
There have been times when she sought suicide and abused drugs .... I am not willing to rain on her parade.

Same here... Which is why I jumped in a section I otherwise rarely check.

Have a Happy, very Happy 2011, 2012,....2080 and so forth

Cheers
Eric
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Offline jblove

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Re: Do you think today a 20 year old could live a normal life expectancy?
« Reply #49 on: January 05, 2011, 11:03:31 AM »
I was first diagnosed with HIV in 1984 which was before there were any HIV medications  I was 34 years old.  In 2000. I received my AIDS diagnosis. I'm now 60 years old and I don't expect to die soon. 
In order to have a "normal life span" a person must stay clear of drugs and limit their alcohol use or even stop having any alcohol. 
If I can do it, so can you.

Jim

 


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