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Author Topic: Oral mistakes  (Read 6060 times)

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Offline Gmark

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Oral mistakes
« on: December 28, 2010, 10:01:24 PM »
Hi

I m a 29 y old male. I ve recently had two encounters that have generated some amount of worry and would appreciate some information. I apologize for the details.
1 while recently having insertive anal sex with a transexual I ve had a condom tear (on entry)  We both realized immediately and I withdrew before putting on a new condom. There was no obvious bleeding. Am I at risk.?
2 I ve recently engaged in unprotected fellatio with a transexual.
*She attempted deepthroating but It didn't feel good to me so she stopped. Because I wasn't too comfortable I alternated between gentle sucking , kissing and licking.
*I noticed a salty taste at some point which I attributed to precum. I salivated abundantly on purpose and spat into a  refreshing tissue (antibacterial properties unknown)
*she also performed a uncovered fellatio on me which I understand is low risk.
* I also performed insertive covered sex with ejaculation. I periodically checked the status of the condom but it didn't cover my penis fully. The lower part fell wet. No obvious leaks from looking at condom post ejaculation
*had a glass of water immediately after. Did not brush my teeth until I got home 40 mins later. No obvious bleeding or ulcer in mouth.

I ve performed uncovered fellatio with a sex worker a couple of times before but each time timidly and with no ejaculation.


Again apologies for being nerdy but I think the more details I give you the better you can construct your advice. I m a rational guy so any fact you can give me is sincerely appreciated. In particular what should I make of the conflicting information on the dangers of oral sex.

Thanks in advance
Mark

Offline Ann

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Re: Couple of incidents -am I at risk
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2010, 05:40:15 AM »
Mark,

Nothing you report is a true risk for hiv infection. Getting a blowjob isn't "low" risk, it's no risk. Not one person has ever been infected through getting blown and you won't be the first.

Giving a blowjob is more a theoretical risk than an actual one. Nothing you describe leads me to believe you have been at risk for hiv infection through giving head. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

You do not need to worry about any of your oral activities.

Protected intercourse is just that - protected. You had a condom break on entry, but you immediately withdrew and changed the condom. You don't need to worry about this extremely brief incident. And the fact that the second condom didn't cover to the base doesn't matter. The important thing is that the head was covered.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gmark

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Re: Couple of incidents -am I at risk
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2010, 07:57:38 PM »
Thanks Ann appreciate the reply best wishes
Cheers
Mark

Offline Ann

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Re: Couple of incidents -am I at risk
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2010, 06:52:56 AM »
Mark,

You're welcome. In the future, please remember to use lube. The fact that your condom broke upon entry points to the fact that you probably weren't using lube. Not using (waterbased) lube is a leading cause of condom failure. The other leading cause of condom failure is leaving an air bubble in the tip of the condom. Please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can avoid condom failure.

Use condoms, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gmark

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Oral mistakes
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2011, 07:22:43 PM »
Hi guys.. It's me again, I guess we never learn..
Yestday i had sex with a Thai transexual escort. She performed protected anal on me, it did hurt but no bleeding and I tested the condom with water afterwards.
She performed unprotected oral on me, I did feel her teeth and asked her to stop. I performed a very short unprotected oral on her, no ejaculation, probably some precum.
The unprotected oral is getting me dead worried. We also engaged in some deep kissing and i did notice some blood on her gums at the end of that. So now i m worried i got her blood on my penis when she performed oral sex, although i dont remember seeing any blood after oral sex. I m also worried that I got infected by performing oral. What I ve read online is terrifying and implies there is a documented risk.
I have a very dry painless pimple on my urethra, has been around for ever as far as i can tell and i tested negative hiv and other stds in april. I dont know what the pimple in and am worried it could increase my chances of getting infected.
I did ask her if she tested and she said of course. I understand prevalence in thailand is now rather low but probably higher with transexual escorts. Although I would assume some form of testing goes on when breast surgery is performed. And that an escort that can travel to the uk is probably not supporting the cost of triteraphy.
As you can see i m worried, confused and probably make little sense. I m counting the day until i can get the duo test. Is the duo test really reliable? Here in the UK clincs that offer it say it's 99.8% reliable after 4 weeks.
Would you recommend pep for my exposure?should I worry?

Thank you

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2011, 10:15:25 PM »
Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.



If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2011, 10:44:47 AM »
Gmark,


I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





You do not need PEP as you did not have a risk for hiv infection.

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection and neither is kissing. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

There could not possibly be enough blood present in her mouth to present a risk. Unless you are in the habit of repeatedly punching a person in the mouth before you kiss them or they blow you, there is never going to be enough blood present to be a risk.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2011, 09:54:09 PM »
Thanks guys, apologies for creating another post. I ve read the rules now.

I m trying not too freak out...just got tonsillitis, but i know it s not linked.

Keep well

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2011, 03:37:09 PM »
Ann..i just realised a forgot to tell you about something...when I bottomed although I was protected we foolishly didnt use lubricant..she didnt have it. So we used saliva.... Condom didnt break or tear i tested it with water.

Should i worry?? How about the saliva? Although what if some precum got on the condom?

Sorry... Forgot to ask about that...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2011, 06:08:31 PM »
What is important is that you used a condom and that it did not break. Water-based lube is a good idea to remember for the future but having used saliva would not change the effectiveness of the condom you used.
Andy Velez

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2011, 07:22:32 PM »
Thanks so much Andy.
i know i didnt take any risk based on what you guys are telling me. I guess i m freaking out because I have good reasons to believe she lied to me about her hiv status. I called her recently and asked her again, she told me she tested before coming to the uk as she needed it for the visa.
I ve researched the topic and found out this is bs. No testing requirement for UK visa as in most civilized nations I guess (that would be barbaric in my mind). But anyway seems she s lying, i can only conclude she is hiv + and probably not on meds given the state of public health in thailand....
Scary

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2011, 07:33:06 PM »
It does not matter if someone is HIV positive with a SOARING viral load so long as you practice safer sex.

We make every assessment on this forum based on the assumption that the partner is HIV positive.  Outside of a mutually exclusive relationship, it wouldn't hurt you (and every other sexually active person) to do the same.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2011, 07:33:49 PM »
Hey guys- different question but understand I need to keep stuff on the same post.

So I remember an experience I had recently. went for an erotic massage and the girl used copious amount of baby oil on me as well as on her (body to body). She started to masturbate my penis with some oil and at some point (and without cleaning it first) she put a condom on it and we had sex.
now the condom didnt break and sex was very brief (maybe 2-3 minutes as I stopped). There was no ejaculation. The condom was still securely wrapped when she took it off.

now I ve done some research and understand baby oil can make condoms innefective. What do we mean by that? that it increases the chance of breakage/slippage or that even in the absence of breakage/slippage the condom "stops working" and can fail to protect.

simply put, was at risk at any point?

thanks in advance


Mark

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2011, 09:59:23 PM »
Oil can degrade latex condoms, making them easier to burst. You would have noticed had it burst.

You had, of course, no risk for HV


"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2011, 04:00:14 PM »
Hi guys, you probably think I m crazy and I dont know how I keep getting myself in the same situations. had sex with a transgender woman yesterday.
-she gave me an uncovered blow job but before doing so she wiped my penis with what she said was an alcohol based lotion
-i also gave her a very brief uncovered blowjob (she didnt wipe herself with that lotion she used on me) + ball sucking. No risk I assume?
-we had protected anal sex, used a lot of lube, which she said is expensive and water based, when she topped me it did hurt a bit, we then changed positions and she changed her condom and lubed up again.  However when she entered me again I felt a burning sensation, like the one you get when you put alcohol on a wound. I frreaked out a bit because I assumed it meant I had ruptured tissues in my anus.
-we continued for 10 mins and then stopped. she then told me she thought the burns were probably because after changing the condom she wiped her hands with the alcohol lotion (didnt see her do that) and some of it probably ended up on the condom. She laughed and said that meant I was extra protected. i dont see it that way, otherwise why wouldnt anyone pour alcohol lotion on their penises and have sex. Never heard of this as a protection method.

Please note we checked for blood on the condom (both) and in my anus and found none. i also didnt find any later and a part for a mild diarrhea (which I understand is due to the sttching of my anus) I have no symptoms
Have I taken any risk? What could the burning sensation indicate? If indeed the alcohol based lotion ended up in my anus, is that bad?

Thanks so much     

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2011, 04:06:49 PM »
No.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2011, 10:28:19 PM »
Once again you had protected intercourse. If the condom had alcohol on it then it's not surprising that you had a burning sensation. You should for both safety and comfort be using only water-based lube on condoms for intercourse. Be responsible about your health and if necessary bring your own condoms and lube when you are going to have intercourse.

As far as this latest incident I don't see any cause for concern nor any need for testing.
Andy Velez

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2012, 08:13:31 PM »
Guys, thanks so much for the advice, please know that I take it seriously and pay attention.
I have a question: recently had sex with someone. We took turns at topping and being topped. Before topping me, he caressed his penis and then put on a condom. He then lubed up and topped me.
My worry is that he had some precum on his hand and that the precum ended up on the condom before  he topped me. Any risk that I could get imfected that way?
What if i had some of his precum on my hand and then vigorously masturbated?

Mny thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2012, 08:25:02 PM »
Guys, thanks so much for the advice, please know that I take it seriously and pay attention.
I have a question: recently had sex with someone. We took turns at topping and being topped. Before topping me, he caressed his penis and then put on a condom. He then lubed up and topped me.
My worry is that he had some precum on his hand and that the precum ended up on the condom before  he topped me. Any risk that I could get imfected that way?
What if i had some of his precum on my hand and then vigorously masturbated?

Mny thanks
HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2012, 05:30:10 AM »
Gmark,

In addition to what Rodney said, hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, any hiv on his hands that got into the lube would have been inactivated and unable to infect.

You have been coming here for just over a year now. In that time, you should have had at least one COMPLETE sexual health check up. A complete check up includes a FULL panel of STI tests, not just hiv testing. Given your history, I would fully expect your hiv test to come back negative.

If you haven't had a COMPLETE sexual health check up in the past year, go do it. Think of it like a yearly check up with the dentist. You may not have a toothache, but you go anyway. It's what responsible adults do to maintain good health.

Please re-read reply #1 in this thread.

To be clear, your latest concern was not a risk for hiv infection - but that does not mean you should not be having a yearly, COMPLETE sexual health check up.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2012, 07:33:22 PM »
Thanks a lot guys.
I m having tests done this week. I m also having that pimple I mentioned checked.take care
Mark

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2012, 06:17:17 AM »
Mark,

Good to hear - provided that by "tests" you mean a complete sexual health check up. Please make this a routine that you do each January - and if you're very sexually active, every July as well.

I fully expect the hiv portion of your check up to return a negative result and so should you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gmark

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2012, 07:15:06 PM »
Hey guys, hope you are well. Just to let you know i tested in June and also had that pimple checked in January, it was apparently an ingrown hair.

I just want to check a couple of things, apologies if they are obvious:
- a condom breaking should be an obvious thing right? I m worried about not being able to tell and i dont always check them after sex, should I?
- is putting lube inside the condom dangerous? Or on the contrary does it protect your urethra in case of breakage?
- being topped with a condom and without ejaculation is essentially safe?
- same for topping with a condom (even vigorously) and no ejaculation?


Thanks in advance

Mark

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral mistakes
« Reply #23 on: July 20, 2012, 12:42:40 AM »
gmark,

Yes, a broken condom is obvious. Very much so.

If you put lube inside a condom, all that will happen is that it might make it easier to slip off of you. It won't make a difference to hiv transmission if the condom should break.

Lube is supposed to go on the OUTSIDE of the condom - to prevent breakage.

Being topped with a condom is safe regardless of whether or not your top cums.

Topping with a condom is safe whether or not you cum.

Make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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