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Author Topic: There Have Been Better Days  (Read 2425 times)

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Offline thunter34

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  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
There Have Been Better Days
« on: January 10, 2011, 10:52:58 PM »
This isn't so much a "new topic" as it is an attempt at a general release.  I just noticed Matty's post about Lisa...and how this would have been her birthday.  She was one of the truest folks I've ever met.  And this comes on the same day as the anniversary of Kate's passing.  And then Christine also comes to mind.  And then I start thinking about the triple reality whammy I got when I recently returned here...not only Lisa, but Ric Wilke and, of course, the late, great Moffie. 

Perhaps I've just got too much time to dwell on such things as I sit here waiting out the snow, but I miss these people - each and every one.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2011, 11:03:34 PM »
Me too.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2011, 11:05:32 PM »
You're not alone, Tim. I miss them too.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2011, 11:09:41 PM »


  Tim,

   thanks for posting your feelings because they are definitely shared by many, including myself.

  (((hugs)))
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2011, 11:13:26 PM »
Youth Pastor Tim,

This is why I'm glad you came back to us. The more of us (we precious few) who remember them, the better. It makes coping with their absence that much less painful.

:-*

MtD

Offline thunter34

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  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2011, 11:14:40 PM »
Their absence here is palpable.  

When I came back here, as I mentioned, I got smacked by the discovery of the loss of those three.  Old mail isn't automatically deleted here, and I also found that I had mail waiting for me from two of them.  It was a very surreal experience.  I was obviously jolted, but I sort of shut it off and didn't really cry or do anything like that.

Until today.

I suppose it was just this particular double whammy that brought it all out.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2011, 11:18:44 PM »
I have a box of unused meds, which has been sitting under the futon for months. Last night, I took it out, and finally had the guts to remove the ferret toys I always put in those boxes before I shipped them to Lisa and Sweetie.

Sometimes the world just seems full of ghosts.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2011, 11:19:51 PM »
I also found that I had mail waiting for me from two of them.

That must have hurt. (((((((Tim)))))))
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Jody

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  • Posts: 1,825
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2011, 11:22:14 PM »
It's good to see that you are back T...Miss the really great folks who have left us too...We can only think fondly of them and they stay in our hearts.  There is probably one of many here at some point each and every day who thinks back on one or more of them daily.  Never truly gone, always remembered.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline wolfter

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2011, 11:37:57 PM »
I wish I could have known them.  To be so loved is a tribute to them.
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2011, 12:16:15 AM »
Tim,

  My heart is hurting today too, a lot.


I am so glad you are back with us.

hugs

Offline komnaes

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  • Posts: 1,893
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2011, 12:36:05 AM »
To quote a line from Angels in America..

"I am generally known where I am known as one cool, collected queen. And I am ruffled..."

This is one of those moments.. and I am grateful of all the friends I have made or even lucky enough to have met here..
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline BT65

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2011, 05:08:14 AM »
It is hard, it just is.  Glad you're back, Tim.  Glad we remember.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline newt

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  • the one and original newt
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2011, 05:44:12 AM »
Now I know why I didn't sleep. there have been better days. Hello tim
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline bear60

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2011, 11:48:25 AM »
Hi Tim
I have fond memories of Lisa.  We had phone conversations and laughed a lot.
You're a good guy.  Peace.
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Online Buckmark

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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2011, 12:06:55 PM »
Tim,

The loss Tim and Ric and Lisa is difficult -- I miss them, and so many others who used to be here.  It's not the same around here without them.  Or without you.  I'm glad you're surfacing here again, as I've missed you too.

 :-*

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,941
  • AM member since 2003
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2011, 08:55:23 PM »
{{{Hugs}}} Tim..because like you I have had better days...but I'm getting to the point now where I can smile when I think of them all, and in time you will have more good days than bad.

Aroha always
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2011, 10:14:35 PM »
I think of Moffie pretty much every day.  He had lived on the Russian River and I drive past his old house every time I go into town.  Bob owned a hair salon in town and the gravel company where Moffie drove the truck is also nearby.  It is impossible to go into town without driving past something that triggers a memory.

Since I live so close to San Francisco, I had the opportunity to meet & greet and spend a day with all of the Forum members who attended AMG 07.  Having spent another evening at the hotel with Lisa, JefferyJ, Hermie and DanJ in Lisa's room, the laughter was non stop which made one of the finest days I have had in who knows how many years.  Now, I have been dating my ever loving hard working litigator/attorney for almost 3 years, I spend a lot of time in his office which is about a block from the AMG hotel.  So whether I am sitting at my desk or in the conference room, there is a window with a view of AMG 07 and triggers more memories.  So Tim, welcome back and stop being a stranger   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline anniebc

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  • AM member since 2003
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2011, 11:05:46 PM »
Quote
(No subject)
ę Sent to: anniebc on: January 05, 2009, 03:43:26 PM Ľ     

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
STAY WELL

itís an African thing, what you say to the ones who remain behind

So yes, stay well, stay well and fight. For everything you need and want and deserve, for future, for gold standard treatment + no shame, ever. And when youíre done with that, go back out n fight some more for the ones who donít have a loud enough voice in this world.

To my best people, my arms tight around you - I love you, & on all the days to come that matter, I am there, somewhere, smiling.

(Go well, the reply, to the ones who are leaving)

- kate x x

This was the last PM I had from Kate, I think a few of us recieved it, I'm so glad I saved it, 6 days later she left us, I'm sure she won't mind me sharing it with you.


Go well Kate.

In sadness and in tears
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline BT65

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  • Member
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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2011, 04:43:54 AM »
This was the last PM I had from Kate, I think a few of us recieved it, I'm so glad I saved it, 6 days later she left us, I'm sure she won't mind me sharing it with you.


Go well Kate.

In sadness and in tears
Jan :'(

I received that also.  Jan, this was the first time I've read that in almost a year.  Brings back memories, and a horrible sense of loss.  The world is missing a fabulous person, and wonderful friend.  Go well Kate. :'(
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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  • Posts: 948
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2011, 06:55:29 PM »
I miss them all too...but firmly believe (won't be talked out of it) that their spirits are not only watching over us but blessing us too!

Harper says at the very end of Angels in America "nothing is lost forever...."

Gary
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2011, 09:58:46 PM »
They were all wonderful people!
Positive since 1985

Offline Joe K

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  • 31 Years Poz
Re: There Have Been Better Days
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2011, 10:47:08 AM »
To my departed friends: My heart is weary, my soul depleted, but your love will forever sustain me.

People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there light is from within.

-Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose to do with them is up to you.

-Richard Bach

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen,
not touched. but are felt in the heart.

-Helen Keller

 


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