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Author Topic: A brave 16 year old  (Read 1823 times)

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Offline sam66

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A brave 16 year old
« on: December 08, 2010, 07:50:27 AM »
               From Channel 4 uk

                    "Only 16 years old, Carly has been living with a secret. For the past five years her secret was known only to a tight circle of close family members, doctors and nurses.

Like an estimated 1200 other young people in the UK, Carly has HIV. When she started her first serious relationship, a whispering campaign began in her home town. Under attack, Carly has decided to fight back and is telling the world about her HIV status.

Telling the World I'm HIV tells the story of a brave teenager as she tries to take control of her future. "
  
            
            
           http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-crazy-media-life/episode-guide/series-1/episode-1
                       
              
        " I was deeply moved when i watched this programme. You are brave girl and the work you are doing is tremendous. Honestly by revealing your status and showing people that you can live a normal life with HIV made me proud of you. You dont realise how many people you have actually saved by coming out and going out to schools as a health promotion campaing. good luck girl "  

                           " An inspiring young person - I would love to show this at an HIV awareness event I am running next Week - how can I use this, can I buy a copy on disc? My computer will not have access to the internet at the training venue Regards Anne Parker "  

           May not play in Firefox Browser



« Last Edit: December 08, 2010, 10:30:56 AM by sam66 »
december 2007 diagnosed +ve ,

Offline tednlou2

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2010, 01:49:53 AM »
Thanks for telling us about this young girl.  Instead of creating a new thread, I thought this would be a good place to post this story about Brryan Jackson.  We've discussed him here before.  His father gave him HIV-tainted blood as a baby in order to get out of paying child support.  The father thought the HIV would kill him very soon.  I hope you don't see it as a hijack of your post.

From ABC News last Friday-- They made him their "Person of the Week".  You can read the story or watch the story below:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/aids-activist-brryan-jackson-raises-awareness-disease-injected/story?id=12285425

Offline Ann

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2010, 09:44:17 AM »
Carly must be at least about nineteen - probably 20 - now. She was originally interviewed for Stephen Fry's HIV and Me which aired in October, 2007. (see the Mirror article Torment of bullied HIV teen.)

I was also interviewed for the Stephen Fry program and my interview took place on March 9th, 2007 and as I was one of the last to be interviewed, she must have been interviewed in January or February. She was allegedly 16 at that time too, so either she was younger when interviewed by Mr Fry or she was older than 16 when she did the interview for Channel 4. I'm not sure why the Channel 4 program never mentioned the Stephen Fry program; maybe it's because HIV and Me was a BBC production.

My interview never aired on the telly, but they did put a small portion of it on the BBC website pages that went along with the program. I have a DVD of my whole uncut interview which, to this day, I still have not watched. I really should dig it out sometime and have a look.

Stephen Fry really is a wonderful man. He's totally down-to-earth and easy to talk with. I was so at ease with him that at one point when he made the all-too-common assumption that the only way a man could end up with hiv is to have been the recipient of unprotected anal intercourse, I told him off, complete with wagging finger. His production crew laughed their asses off while he turned bright red and apologised for his gaff. I've really got to watch that DVD to see that bit if nothing else. ;D

He's also a very, very tall man. He gave me a hug at the end and I swear I only came up to his nipples. I have a photo of us together, but he had to bend at the knees so we could both fit in the picture. BTW, I'm 5'5".




And did anyone watch the abc news video that followed on from the Brryan Jackson story that Ted linked to - the one about four aids orphans in SA? Towards the end, the reporter talks to a woman who works with aids orphans and she expresses her concern about the young lad taking care of his younger sisters. She says she worries about him because he's a boy. The reporter says, yes, he's just a boy, thinking that she's talking about his age. But she's not. She's referring to the cultural norm there where men are not caretakers of children. At least not in their day-to-day care. That's "women's work". ::)

Anyway, back to Carly. For anyone who may be wondering, teens can legally leave school in the UK at sixteen. The only kids who continue their studies are those who intend to go to university. They attend what is called "sixth form". Some high schools have their own sixth form, like the school my daughter went to, but other places have what they call "sixth form college". That is the type of college Carly gave a talk at, so they were kids more her age (16-18) and not 18+ like college students in the States.

In the UK, college and university are two different things. Aside from being what in the States would be 11th and 12th grades, a college may also provide courses with apprenticeships, such as in the building trades or for mechanics. They also usually provide courses in childcare, office work and basic nursing courses for nurses aides and also basic social care courses, which may qualify a person for a basic job in those fields or provide a basis for further studies and qualifications at a university.

If Carly's Facebook page is anything to go by, she now works for the Terrence Higgens Trust, which is an hiv charity/ASO in the UK.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RapidRod

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2010, 09:58:23 AM »
Carly must be at least about nineteen - probably 20 - now. She was originally interviewed for Stephen Fry's HIV and Me which aired in October, 2007. (see the Mirror article Torment of bullied HIV teen.)

I was also interviewed for the Stephen Fry program and my interview took place on March 9th, 2007 and as I was one of the last to be interviewed, she must have been interviewed in January or February. She was allegedly 16 at that time too, so either she was younger when interviewed by Mr Fry or she was older than 16 when she did the interview for Channel 4. I'm not sure why the Channel 4 program never mentioned the Stephen Fry program; maybe it's because HIV and Me was a BBC production.

My interview never aired on the telly, but they did put a small portion of it on the BBC website pages that went along with the program. I have a DVD of my whole uncut interview which, to this day, I still have not watched. I really should dig it out sometime and have a look.

Stephen Fry really is a wonderful man. He's totally down-to-earth and easy to talk with. I was so at ease with him that at one point when he made the all-too-common assumption that the only way a man could end up with hiv is to have been the recipient of unprotected anal intercourse, I told him off, complete with wagging finger. His production crew laughed their asses off while he turned bright red and apologised for his gaff. I've really got to watch that DVD to see that bit if nothing else. ;D

He's also a very, very tall man. He gave me a hug at the end and I swear I only came up to his nipples. I have a photo of us together, but he had to bend at the knees so we could both fit in the picture. BTW, I'm 5'5".




And did anyone watch the abc news video that followed on from the Brryan Jackson story that Ted linked to - the one about four aids orphans in SA? Towards the end, the reporter talks to a woman who works with aids orphans and she expresses her concern about the young lad taking care of his younger sisters. She says she worries about him because he's a boy. The reporter says, yes, he's just a boy, thinking that she's talking about his age. But she's not. She's referring to the cultural norm there where men are not caretakers of children. At least not in their day-to-day care. That's "women's work". ::)

Anyway, back to Carly. For anyone who may be wondering, teens can legally leave school in the UK at sixteen. The only kids who continue their studies are those who intend to go to university. They attend what is called "sixth form". Some high schools have their own sixth form, like the school my daughter went to, but other places have what they call "sixth form college". That is the type of college Carly gave a talk at, so they were kids more her age (16-18) and not 18+ like college students in the States.

In the UK, college and university are two different things. Aside from being what in the States would be 11th and 12th grades, a college may also provide courses with apprenticeships, such as in the building trades or for mechanics. They also usually provide courses in childcare, office work and basic nursing courses for nurses aides and also basic social care courses, which may qualify a person for a basic job in those fields or provide a basis for further studies and qualifications at a university.

If Carly's Facebook page is anything to go by, she now works for the Terrence Higgens Trust, which is an hiv charity/ASO in the UK.
Those that teach trades here are Vocational Schools and they are your Juniors and Seniors and they teach Adult Education too.

Offline sam66

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2010, 10:22:50 AM »
    Ann
              I didn't see Fry's HIV and Me program ,  wasn't there some controversy about his attitude toward +ves,  I remember hearing some thing,

                   ps, Love QI
december 2007 diagnosed +ve ,

Offline Ann

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2010, 12:02:08 PM »
    Ann
              I didn't see Fry's HIV and Me program ,  wasn't there some controversy about his attitude toward +ves,  I remember hearing some thing,

                   ps, Love QI

I don't remember anything like that. He had a good, if somewhat uninformed, attitude as far as I'm concerned. The only controversy I recall surrounding the documentary was the fact that he included a bug chaser in his interviews. Reactions ranged from disbelief that such people exist to outrage that he could possibly be seen as condoning and encouraging such behaviour.

It really surprised me that he held the erroneous belief that the only way a man could get infected was by being a bottom and not making sure his top was wearing a condom. I know from some of my straight poz men friends that they face accusations of being gay and in the closet all the time. People who know me know that I am not homophobic in the least, but I totally understand how upsetting this can be to a straight man, even one who is also not homophobic.

And this ties in with mpos's thread "throwing in the towel". I've talked with women who say they would not date a poz guy mainly because they were afraid that the man was actually gay, more so than being afraid of being infected. This whole "he's gotta be gay to have hiv" mindset is dangerous because it leads straight men to think they are not at risk for hiv infection when they have unprotected intercourse with a woman. While it's true that it is more difficult to be infected as a top in either anal or vaginal intercourse, more difficult does absolutely NOT mean impossible. It's also dangerous on the flip-side - women think they aren't at risk when having sex with men who are straight.

This also ties in with the lack of support groups for poz straight men. A lot of it goes back to the fear of people thinking you're gay if you're poz. It also prevents straight men from accessing poz men's support groups that mainly have gay members. I can't see that changing until gay people are more widely accepted instead of vilified. Of the people I know who are in the poz closet, far more of them are straight men than women or gay men.

We even get that here on this website, mainly from the gay men. There's often the assumption from many here that any man who professes to be straight is lying about never having any msm experiences. I've seen the accusation many times ... words to the effect that "you just don't want to admit you took it up the pooper". And it sucks.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline sam66

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2010, 12:28:59 PM »


And this ties in with mpos's thread "throwing in the towel". I've talked with women who say they would not date a poz guy mainly because they were afraid that the man was actually gay,


We even get that here on this website, mainly from the gay men. There's often the assumption from many here that any man who professes to be straight is lying about never having any msm experiences. I've seen the accusation many times ... words to the effect that "you just don't want to admit you took it up the pooper". And it sucks.

              Yeh,  that does upset me, Your HIV+ve therefore you must be gay, Ah well
               I wonder if the same people believe all the people in Africa who are +ve are all gay.

               There looks to me like equal male and female infection rate


               As for Fry he is openly gay now any way isn't he
december 2007 diagnosed +ve ,

Offline Ann

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2010, 12:34:04 PM »
             

               As for Fry he is openly gay now any way isn't he

Yes, Stephen Fry is openly gay.

I also don't get the disconnect between the fact that in Africa and much of Asia, hiv affects far more heterosexuals than gay men and the idea that in the West, a poz man must be gay. It doesn't make any sense.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tednlou2

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2010, 11:42:30 PM »
And did anyone watch the abc news video that followed on from the Brryan Jackson story that Ted linked to - the one about four aids orphans in SA? Towards the end, the reporter talks to a woman who works with aids orphans and she expresses her concern about the young lad taking care of his younger sisters. She says she worries about him because he's a boy. The reporter says, yes, he's just a boy, thinking that she's talking about his age. But she's not. She's referring to the cultural norm there where men are not caretakers of children. At least not in their day-to-day care. That's "women's work". ::)

I watched all those videos on abcnews.com about HIV/AIDS.  I noticed what you're referring to as well about the boys. 

I also get what you said about many in the West assuming a man with HIV must be gay.  My doctor said he made that mistake with a straight male patient.  He assumed he was gay, and asked him whether he had a boyfriend or was single.  The patient was a little upset--it was obvious he had faced that assumption many times.  I suppose the doc made an honest mistake, because there are so many gays who are patients there.  However, one shouldn't assume.  Many think only gays get infected.  If the guy is married, many think he must be on the DL.  I could understand frustration of a straight man's sexuality being questioned--and, that doesn't mean he is homophobic.  For me, I know just about every health professional I dealt with assumed I was gay.  For me, it was an accurate assumption.  But even though I'm comfortable with my sexuality, it kinda bothered me that people just assumed. 

Offline sam66

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2010, 09:27:14 AM »
  Many think only gays get infected.  If the guy is married, many think he must be on the DL.  I could understand frustration of a straight man's sexuality being questioned--and,          that doesn't mean he is homophobic.   


     Thank you tednlou

                You explained it very well,
                 I really don't give a shit about a persons sexuality,  or any one assuming what my sexuality is,

                 However I do get angry when any one assumes only gays and drug users get HIV, to a certain
                 extent I can understand  this presumption exsisting in the general public, but quite shocking
                 to sense it in the HIV +ve community
december 2007 diagnosed +ve ,

Offline Ann

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2010, 09:33:54 AM »

     Thank you tednlou

                You explained it very well,
                 I really don't give a shit about a persons sexuality,  or any one assuming what my sexuality is,

                 However I do get angry when any one assumes only gays and drug users get HIV, to a certain
                 extent I can understand  this presumption exsisting in the general public, but quite shocking
                 to sense it in the HIV +ve community

It pisses me off too. I've lost count of the times that people have said to me about my poz bf - "I never would have thought he was gay or bi!"

Well, he's not, damn it! I happen to be bi, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But my bf is NOT gay OR bi.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline leatherman

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Re: A brave 16 year old
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2010, 10:27:55 AM »
of course the assumption is made, in America, that someone with HIV is gay. Look at the history here. For the first 10-20 yrs of the epidemic, I would say at least 80% (if not more!) of those infected have been gay (white) men. The other 20ish% were mainly needle-sharers, hemophiliacs and Haitians back in the earliest part of the epidemic in America. (it was known as the "4h" club - homosexuals, hemophiliacs, heroin users, and Haitians) Unlike in other countries where the virus is and was widespread, in America the virus was initially contained within small subsets of the population (ie gay men, intravenous drug users, etc)

When all my friends were dying off in the late 80s and early 90s, it was my gay friends not my straight friends that were dying. Many of the ASOs that sprung up in those years were run by gays helping gays. And that's why it has a reputation for being a "gay disease" - because it has been for the most part in America.

Why even today, HIV has till not yet become a "straight disease" (18%) or a "woman's disease" (20%) for the most part; however, sadly, the demographics are now beginning to change. It is quickly becoming a disease of African-Americans (men and women, straight and gay at 60-70%) - although gay men still make up more than half of the cases (54%). (see http://statehealthfacts.org for these figures)

So today (say within just the last 5 yrs) there is still nearly a 10% better than 50-50 chance, that a white male presenting with HIV is also going to be gay. Sadly this biggest problem with this kind of stereotyping, while more than half right and a lot more right than that in previous years, is that it does cause some medical staff to not diagnose some people quickly or properly.

While this assumption (that an HIV+ male is gay) is not always an accurate assumption today, historically that has been an accurate statistic of the people who were infected.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


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