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Author Topic: Dating a negative guy....?  (Read 2026 times)

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Offline WhereIsTheArk

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
Dating a negative guy....?
« on: December 05, 2010, 09:28:48 AM »
I'm initiating the first steps of a possible relationship with this REALLY nice guy I just met recently! It's amazing, yet kind of uncomfortable for me, knowing he doesn't care that I'm poz. I guess I'm just not used to that kind of unconditional affection. I'm nervous, though too because if everything works out, it'll be only the second real relationship I've ever been in. Technically, I've been in a long distance relationship, with a poz guy, since I've been diagnosed, which has been a little over a year, and we are yet to meet face to face. Also, we are just drifting apart, so I don't count it as a real relationship. I'm just worried that, eventually, this new guy is going to stray away from me, and reconsider wanting to associate with me because of my HIV status. So far, it doesn't seem that way, but I will make sure to not put my hopes up.

I never thought I'd ever date a HIV negative person after being diagnosed. So, I don't know how I really feel about it. If I'd rather be with someone who really understands what I'm going through, with whom I can face potential HIV related hardships together, someone who is also HIV positive. I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of either. I don't even know if I'm making any sense.... :(

Offline hope_for_a_cure

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,502
Re: Dating a negative guy....?
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2010, 09:36:20 AM »
Good luck with that.  Many 'neg' guys will say they understand and have no problem with dating a 'poz' guy but a few months down the road they suddenly can't deal.  I hope in your case it is different. 


Offline Hoover

  • Member
  • Posts: 286
Re: Dating a negative guy....?
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2010, 10:39:52 AM »
Just allow yourself to date and see where it goes.
You are deserve some happiness in this life!
Take it day to day.

Hoover
Infection date: March 16, 2010
20/05/10 - CD4 348  VL 58,000  Lymph nodes in jaw painful!  Antioxidants started.
01/06/10 - CD4 428  VL?
24/06/10 - CD4 578  VL 9,800
13/07/10 - CD4 620  VL?
04/09/10 - CD4 648  VL?
01/11/10 - CD4 710  VL?   CD8 972
16/12/10    CD4 738  VL?  CD8  896   
02/02/11    CD4 520 (month of parasites and new lab)
14/03/11 started Truvida and Sustiva (Efavirenz)
04/07/11 CD4 686 VL 75 CD8 588  41%
10/10/11 CD4 757  45%  VL UD

Offline numbersguy82

  • Member
  • Posts: 292
Re: Dating a negative guy....?
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2010, 11:02:19 AM »
Just allow yourself to date and see where it goes.
You are deserve some happiness in this life!
Take it day to day.

Hoover

Great advice Hoover... and I totally agree. Having HIV won't change the fact that at the root of it all dating is just complicated. Ofcourse it's easier to blame a failed relationship on HIV, but really I think in any relationship sometimes they just fizzle out. No fault.

So good luck! Already you are ahead of me. I'm currently in the beginning stages of dating again myself and I have yet to disclose to any potential "datees" lol. So congrats and keep us posted on how it goes :)
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline laslopaka

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Dating a negative guy....?
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2010, 02:20:40 PM »
Hi,
My opinion Is that I would go for it. I have been "poz" since Jan 2010. My partner is negative and we are still together. Been together for 31 years. He has helped me emotionally and financially while I am waitting for my SSDI claim. To me and my partner it does not matter what status we are in. It's the bond and love that we have for each other. So I would go for it. It might turn out to be the love of your life. Hoover said it good. We all deserve some happiness this life even if we are "poz".  ;D
Aloha and good luck


I'm initiating the first steps of a possible relationship with this REALLY nice guy I just met recently! It's amazing, yet kind of uncomfortable for me, knowing he doesn't care that I'm poz. I guess I'm just not used to that kind of unconditional affection. I'm nervous, though too because if everything works out, it'll be only the second real relationship I've ever been in. Technically, I've been in a long distance relationship, with a poz guy, since I've been diagnosed, which has been a little over a year, and we are yet to meet face to face. Also, we are just drifting apart, so I don't count it as a real relationship. I'm just worried that, eventually, this new guy is going to stray away from me, and reconsider wanting to associate with me because of my HIV status. So far, it doesn't seem that way, but I will make sure to not put my hopes up.

I never thought I'd ever date a HIV negative person after being diagnosed. So, I don't know how I really feel about it. If I'd rather be with someone who really understands what I'm going through, with whom I can face potential HIV related hardships together, someone who is also HIV positive. I'm trying to weigh out the pros and cons of either. I don't even know if I'm making any sense.... :(

Offline justaguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 83
Re: Dating a negative guy....?
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2010, 12:35:21 AM »
I've been dating a negative guy for about a year now.  I really lucked out in that he was medically knowledgeable, but that isn't to say he never has his moments of concern.  Sometimes he'll get sick, and we'll have a day or two of panic.  But we are always safe - ALWAYS - and he gets tested every three or four months.  In the first few months, he would occasionally get upset about the status, but more of a situation like "I hate that you have this, I hate that you let yourself get this."  I appreciated his honesty, and he still loves me, and I love him, he was just being honest.  In time, it just fades into the background.  I think that if you can get over the initial hurdle of disclosure, your chances of success really won't be any different than if you were both negative.  Remember, most relationships are doomed to fail, that's just life.  I think a lot of poz gay guys think that if a guy isn't interested in them, it's only because they are poz, but I can certainly remember getting my fair share of rejection when I was negative - just keep that in mind.
Estimated infection: 3/2008
Tested HIV positive: 3/31/2009
CD4 136/unknown %/VL 150,000: 4/6/2009
Started Atripla 4/17/2009
CD4 255/19%/VL 409 5/27/2009
CD4 247/??/VL 161 6/27/2009
CD4 257/21%/VL 60 7/22/2009
CD4 352/22%/VL Undetectable 10/21/2009
CD4 490/27%/VL Undetectable 2/15/2010
CD4 397/?/VL Undetectable 7/2/2010

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Dating a negative guy....?
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2010, 09:08:31 PM »
 ;D  Have the best day
Michael
« Last Edit: December 07, 2010, 03:11:48 PM by Choofnhurl »

 


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