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Author Topic: losing doc  (Read 2827 times)

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Offline angelgaby

  • Member
  • Posts: 43
losing doc
« on: November 18, 2010, 10:53:15 PM »
im 15 years positive and im losing my doc. he is moving to another state. i have been crying my eyes out over this ..he is leaving his practice with another doc.. whom i havent met yet. im so devasted. and now i feel like im slacking on my meds and the things i have to do...ugh ...this sucks!!!!!!!!!!

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: losing doc
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2010, 11:17:38 PM »
I am so sorry to hear that. A relationship with a doctor is probably the primary relationship a positive person has. Losing that hurts. There are stages of grief, which you know, of course. You will undoubtedly go through some or all of them. I did, when I lost my first doctor (he quit the practice and moved away).

I hope you can summon the effort to get some referrals from your doctor, and interview a new one. What they are on paper is one thing, but finding a doctor that "clicks" with you is another. I am on Medicare, so my options are limited. But they exist. Sadly, I have burned through 8 doctors in my eighteen years of infection. Only two of those were my choice (we *really* didn't click) but the rest ended up leaving their practices and either quitting the HIV biz entirely or moving to research.

By all means, ask to have a talk with this new doctor. And in the meantime, roll up your sleeves and call your ASO, or look in the phone book, whatever it takes. Line up some interviews. Doctors worth their salt will take a few minutes to talk to you, usually free. Because we all know that it isn't JUST the experience and education... it's a host of other things as well.

I know it sucks. I am currently between doctors, seeing a Nurse Practitioner (who is very good) while I wait for the practice to which I travel to find another permanent doc. This is all well and good so long as I am not in dire need... but with AIDS... especially for us LTS folks, we can step into dire need pretty quickly.

My thoughts are with you. I hope you can find the doctor who YOU work with the best.

And yeah, every time I have had to switch, it has indeed sucked. Whoever said this was a stable, manageable disease was smoking something more powerful than I have ever tried.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline angelgaby

  • Member
  • Posts: 43
Re: losing doc
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2010, 07:54:41 AM »
this was so helpful ..thank you. this has been so emotional for me and my family and friends are not understanding y im so stressed about this..there like oh u will b fine , im sure other doc is good.  and i have no doubt my doc did his best to leave his patients in good hands.  but like u said u need to click.  my doc was with me since day one so i find this to be a huge loss.  its a wonderful thing to have had same doc all these years, he knew me so well and was there when i lost my husband to this disease.  i find when i wake up this is the first thing i think about...im sure in time it all works out....its helpful to know that there are others who understand how difficult of a time im having with this.

thank you...hope ur having a great day!

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: losing doc
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2010, 09:34:59 AM »
Being forced to switch doctors has happened to me several times.  The best approach to a new doctor is a positive one.  Be open to new ideas, he/she might be better than the old one.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,592
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: losing doc
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2010, 05:19:57 PM »
Oh dear I am sorry ,15 years is a long time and you clearly had a good relationship with your Doc. I know the importance off trust in a med team  as I travel 1000 miles to see my Docs ,I love Orkney but keep the Docs in London and will not be pleased when one or another move on. Anyway I hope the tears dry soon and you are ok with your new Doc, Take care
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,430
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: losing doc
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2010, 10:37:06 PM »
I remember having to switch doctors. The first was the hardest for me, because she was there throughout the early 90s and put me on my first two regimens.

I hope you can find a good doctor with whom you can establish a good rapport.

The doctor I have now has been trying to retire, but won't until he finds someone who is not just here for a year or two and who is willing and able to take care of those with HIV.

Not an easy commodity to come by in rural New Mexico.

I am fearful though. My doctor, whom I like a lot, is also 70. If he doesn't retire, I am afraid the grim reaper may retire him for us.

I wish you good fortune in seeking a new doctor.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,647
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: losing doc
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2010, 11:43:44 AM »
I feel your pain honey.   It can be really hard on you, emotionally.   I had the same doctor for 18 years...it killed me to leave him, but it wasn't geographically feasible for me to continue seeing him (in Atlanta).   I hope the doctor you are being referred to will work out well for you...keep an open mind.  The doctor I have now is TOTALLY different from my long-time doc, but I like him very much.   So maybe it will all turn out to be not so bad.  I sure hope so.

Hugs, Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline angelgaby

  • Member
  • Posts: 43
Re: losing doc
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2010, 04:51:45 PM »
its so great that u guys get y im so upset over this. the few people i have around me that know my situation are thinking im over  reacting.  and to be honest its getting so frustrating that they aren't getting it!  i went yesterday to do my blood work, and will now make appointment with new doc. im trying to have so much faith this will all work out.  i never realized how i took doc for granted...just knowing he was there was huge comfort.   thank you all so much for ur encouraging words.

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,592
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: losing doc
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2010, 07:11:48 AM »
anglebaby, its easy to get-----for us----- just try and remember that you do still have a Doc there for you, please let us know what you think of him/her. take care
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline sassyone

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: losing doc
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2010, 09:16:20 PM »
Hello there:  I can truly truly feel what you must be feeling.  I still see the same doc after ten years and cannot even imagine what I would do without her.  If we are lucky, like apparently you and I are, the connection and trust  and all that stuff that you develop after years of a really good doctor to patient relationship is one that is very very special.  One thing, I do know is that God doesn't close a door without opening a window.  Sometimes we just gotta "let go and let God".  Keep your chin UP!!!!

Offline angelgaby

  • Member
  • Posts: 43
Re: losing doc
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2010, 09:36:56 PM »
im going to meet new doc this week..nervous as hell! i received an email from old doc telling me that i must go meet new doc and that he knows how hard this is so he is going to stay on top of it until i go meet new guy.  that just makes me so sad , he was that amazing of a doc and friend that in the middle of him moving and taking care of his stuff he rem me. im missing him everyday.  thanks to all for ur support. just hoping it goes well. :(

Offline pozniceguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,186
  • Niceguy Dallas
Re: losing doc
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2010, 01:21:38 PM »
I agree always a trauma associated with change  especially one as personal as this  I just got a letter announcing that the only ID  Dr I have had for 16yrs is retiring.  a "new "  Dr  is taking over his practice , I researched him and he sounds /looks like  a fine Dr  I will miss the guy that saved my life but we all have to move on at some point.

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline angelgaby

  • Member
  • Posts: 43
Re: losing doc
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2010, 08:13:56 PM »
@pozniceguy..hard to move on..ugh...i wish u luck!!!!!

Offline mewithu

  • Member
  • Posts: 160
  • mewithu
Re: losing doc
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2010, 09:52:04 PM »
This has happened to me a lot and I know what you meen about losing a friend not just your DR. Jerry
1997 is when I found out, being deathly ill. I had to go to the hospital due to extreme headache and fever. I fell coma like,  two months later weighing 95 pounds and in extreme pain and awoke to knowledge of Pancreatis, Cryptococcal Meningitis, Thrush,Severe Diarea,  Wasting, PCP pneumonia. No eating, only through tpn. Very sick, I was lucky I had good insurance with the company I worked for. I was in the hospital for three months that time. 
(2010 Now doing OK cd4=210  VL= < 75)
I have become resistant to many nukes and non nukes, Now on Reyataz, , Combivir. Working well for me not too many side effects.  I have the wasting syndrome, Fatigue  . Hard to deal with but believe it or not I have been through worse. Three Pulmonary Embolism's in my life. 2012 520 t's <20 V load

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: losing doc
« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2010, 03:42:05 AM »
Wow 15 years is a long time. You must be devastated. And the fact that he was your DR. when you lost your husband makes it extra stressful. When my wife passed from HIV/AIDS related causes, I was in so much pain I moved from the state. It's really difficult.
That said, perhaps you can start looking at this as an opportunity. Change, as painful as it is, can be a good thing sometimes. A new DR. may look at things differently, and maybe it will be a good new relationship.
(I sometimes see the other DR. in the practice just to get a fresh perspective.)

I hope it all works out for you, I'm sure it will. Try to not get too stressed out.
All the best,
Jeff
Positive since 1985

Offline yankygrl

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
  • positively alive since 1985
Re: losing doc
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2010, 09:59:08 PM »
Hello, I am new to this forum and just getting started.  I read your post and have had the same experience.  After 22 years with my doctor he retired and I was at a loss.  I felt like I had been through a war with this man. I was very fearful at first, but did some research and found a new doc.  Ask around, go online, and research. I know that the likelihood of finding a doctor like him was slim, but I had to start somewhere.  Hang in there.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,430
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: losing doc
« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2010, 01:30:07 PM »
Hey Yankeegrl,

Not to hijack the thread, but welcome.

Why don't you start a new thread and introduce yourself.

It is always nice to welcome another long timer,

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

 


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