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Author Topic: You can have a relationship even when being POZ  (Read 2730 times)

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Offline Bphun

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You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« on: November 01, 2010, 08:48:08 AM »
Hi guys

I just wanted to write down a little story for all you out there worrying about love and relationships.

Half a year ago, I met a great guy. To sound boring, we started as friends, and that's all I wanted. But, one thing led to another. After a good month of sleeping together (safe of course), I told him. He was devastated, but he stuck with me. And it's good, and the sex is good, and I'm not thinking about my status. It's a part of me - but just a small part.

So all you guys out there wondering if there is a love life after testing positive, all I can say is: YES.

Hugs to you all

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2010, 09:43:02 AM »

So all you guys out there wondering if there is a love life after testing positive, all I can say is: YES.


I'll second that emotion. Whoowhoo. (that's how the song goes, amiright?)

Glad to hear you're doing well - hugs back atcha. :)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2010, 10:00:07 AM »
I'll second that emotion. Whoowhoo. (that's how the song goes, amiright?)

Glad to hear you're doing well - hugs back atcha. :)

This song Ann?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiEAy1LoOTk

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2010, 10:04:00 AM »
This song Ann?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiEAy1LoOTk

NO, you silly youngster.

At the risk of showing my age, I was talking about this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYjpuJnnF2Q
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2010, 10:06:31 AM »
NO, you silly youngster.

At the risk of showing my age, I was talking about this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYjpuJnnF2Q

:)

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2010, 07:13:15 AM »
 :)  Cheers mate and I hope everything works out for you.


XOXOXOXOXOX

Red
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2010, 03:13:38 PM »
I think you can and you have found someone.  Relationships can start out with hope and promise, usually end in sadness while everything you do for and with each other really makes the difference.  My medical records have said AIDS since 1996 and I can qualify for the senior citizen discounts almost everywhere and I live in a gay resort area alone.

Yesterday, I went to San Francisco, 3 hours to go 70 miles for labs, vision and dental appointments.  My guy, an HIV negative professional, closed his practice to pick me up at the HIV clinic for an afternoon of art.   No one else in my HIV life has ever picked me up at the clinic, this one is a keeper, we have been dating for almost 3 years.

The star of the exhibit was clearly Van Gogh's Starry Night .  While we were studying the painting another guy kept asking me questions of what I thought.  The conversation was interesting and Vincent Van Gogh was a troubled individual.  This fellow wanted to talk about my thoughts on a mural of Cezanne and some of his contemporaries studying one of his paintings with one of Paul Gaugain's hanging in the background.   The 2 paintings in the mural were in the exhibit but not in the places this guy said they were, he was interesting and my date was jealous.

When asked why I didn't exchange phone numbers I told him, men often hit on me and I am almost 60, he was the third this week and I am flattered but my heart is with you. 

For the past couple of years, I thought, he would meet someone HIV- and my life of dream dates would be over.  My doctor gave me a normal lifespan (years ago), said to expect to live to age 86, die of a heart attack but not from AIDS.  So, what I have realized for myself just yesterday, he is just as afraid of losing me to another and all this time I thought that I may not be good enough because of AIDS.  It was a good day for both of us when we found each other. 

Relationships are hard work and adding HIV into the formula with current or possible future care needs and costs with no real certainty of those future payments are met makes a relationship even harder. I am happy for you  ;D  Have the best day
Michael


Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2010, 09:13:54 AM »
I keep remembering an old statement that went, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.”  Moreover, I have kissed, and did other things, to many frogs, but yet to find someone to have a meaningful relationship with lately.  Oh there have been some who I want, but I just don’t know how to approach them and I do not feel that I am ready yet for a long term relationship.  I am happy with friendships for now.  However, I am still hopeful and may fine that special someone but first I must be happy with the self before I can let anyone become a part of my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Love and Be Love in Return
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline sreamer17ydr

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  • me looking good!
Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2010, 09:34:42 AM »
Having a relationship with someone that is HIV+ is just as effective as having one with an HIV negative partner. Take me for example. I have been HIV+ since july 1st, 2009 and I have been with this HIV negative partner for over 9 months and he knows the risks and all but he gets tested every 3 months and his recent blood test yesterday came back negative still. It may be hard to disclose your status but trust and honesty is the only way any relationship will work regardless of status.
July 1st 09: Tested Poz
August 19th 09: CD4 Count: 566/ Viral Load: 20,653
Nov 10: CD4:623 Viral load: 57,673
Dec 13th: CD4 count 400, viral load-60,000
Feb 1 2010: CD4: 600 Viral load: 67,000
Feb 16 2010: Started Atripla
March 29 2010-CD4 Count: 740, Viral Load: Undetectable, CD4 percentage: 34%
Oct 27th,2010: CD4 Count: 620, Viral Load: Undetectable, CD4 percentage: 32%

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2010, 10:40:47 AM »
Having a relationship with someone that is HIV+ is just as effective as having one with an HIV negative partner. Take me for example. I have been HIV+ since july 1st, 2009 and I have been with this HIV negative partner for over 9 months and he knows the risks and all but he gets tested every 3 months and his recent blood test yesterday came back negative still. It may be hard to disclose your status but trust and honesty is the only way any relationship will work regardless of status.

 so what happened to your husband?  and are you using condoms with this HIV neg lover ?
I hope you aren't being as reckless as you were with your Poz husband.   

Offline sreamer17ydr

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2010, 11:48:48 AM »
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better
July 1st 09: Tested Poz
August 19th 09: CD4 Count: 566/ Viral Load: 20,653
Nov 10: CD4:623 Viral load: 57,673
Dec 13th: CD4 count 400, viral load-60,000
Feb 1 2010: CD4: 600 Viral load: 67,000
Feb 16 2010: Started Atripla
March 29 2010-CD4 Count: 740, Viral Load: Undetectable, CD4 percentage: 34%
Oct 27th,2010: CD4 Count: 620, Viral Load: Undetectable, CD4 percentage: 32%

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2010, 12:10:51 PM »
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better
  that's different from what you posted earlier

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2010, 12:20:53 PM »
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better

Contradicts

"Okay, I am a 21 yo, who is HIV negitive, and my husband (yes we got married in cali) is a 37 year old, HIV+ guy, that has had it 16 years."

Offline leatherman

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #14 on: November 12, 2010, 12:52:49 PM »
I never had a husband never been married...
are you the only one using this account? you have put forth very different stories about your partner over the last 3 years (and all very close to one year apart from each story, ie Oct 08 to Aug 09 to Nov 10)

On October 22, 2008, you had a husband who was poz for 16 yrs, who developed AIDS in 2006
Okay, I am a 21 yo, who is HIV negitive, and my husband (yes we got married in cali) is a 37 year old, HIV+ guy, that has had it 16 years. He was dignosed as AIDS two years ago when his cd4 count went to 199, but now his cd4 count is 480, and Undet. viral load.  He has a drug resistant strain because none of the Nukes or Non nukes work, and he on the new meds... "Prezista, Norvir, Selezentry, and Isentress."

almost a year later August 20, 2009, you had a husband who was only poz for 6 yrs (with a nearly unbelievable cd4 count by the way)
i been wiht my partnet for a long time and actually got married and he is poz too since 2004. his cd4 count is 1900, and viral load undet. on reyataz, norvir, and truvada.

now just a little over a year later on November 12, 2010, you say you have been with someone 9 months and someone else for the previous 6 months - except 15 months ago you had said you were with your husband.
I never had a husband never been married... i been with my partner boyfriend for 9 months now, i was with someone poz for 6 months in the past when i got infected but he was abusive and punched me all the time, so i was single for a bit but i met this awesome guy who is 48 and hiv neg and after 9 months still going strong and better
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #15 on: November 12, 2010, 04:17:02 PM »



THE RETURN OF SYBIL

not yet rated, coming to a theater near you!
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #16 on: November 14, 2010, 08:55:20 PM »
I try to remain optimistic when it comes to relationships but goddammnit I am tired of meeting or kissing frogs. I would like a Prince or something pretty close. I do have standard tho I do not make my expectations high because everytime I do, I end up being disappointed.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Lucky2behere

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #17 on: November 14, 2010, 11:31:45 PM »
Skeebo, That Sybil photo is classic. :o
Nice, encouraging hopeful thread.  
Oh, and Ann I love that Smokey Robinson song too but never saw the video. lol
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 11:37:59 PM by Lucky2behere »
March 2010 tested HIV Pos
probably infected 2.5 years
Sept.  2010 CD4 520 %24 vl 18,000
Nov.   2010 CD4 560    ?   vl  1,400
Dec. 5 2010 Started Truvada Isentress
Jan.  5 2011 CD4 380   ?    vl      63

Offline smiteler

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Re: You can have a relationship even when being POZ
« Reply #18 on: November 16, 2010, 03:03:29 PM »
relationships are over rated
give me a killer job instead  :-\
« Last Edit: November 16, 2010, 03:07:12 PM by smiteler »

 


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