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Author Topic: Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.  (Read 1606 times)

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Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,101
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.
« on: October 31, 2010, 07:58:54 PM »
I have come to think about why it is we LTS do suffer from depression a lot.

My HIV doc says the virus and the HAART are to blame, but of course,  previous depressions  are certainly not helpfull.....

I was doing pretty well, with yoga and long walks, good healthy food and a general feeling of being happy.
Within a couple of days I slipped into depression again.
It is a feeling of not wanting to go on, havng had enough, seeing no future.

Being single doesn't help, but my last date , expressing an intrest in more than sex, scared the hell out of me.
I feel like I cannot deal with a person this close in my heart.

Well, I needed to get this off my chest.
I know there is no answer, and yes, I started Prozac again.... not knowing why really.

xx Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline leese43

  • Member
  • Posts: 257
Re: Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2010, 02:56:19 PM »
Hi Hermie,

So sorry to hear that you are going through depression again, I have no wise words for you but couldn't just read and leave. I'm not a LTS but have suffered depression and so understand a little of what you're going through. I'm sure a lot of it is to do the virus  but have you also thought about the time of year? I'm only asking as I have got through my first October in about four years without feeling terrible.

I hope you will start to feel better now that you are back on prozac and hopefully it will help you to work through this depression again.

Hugs

Leese x
Oct 04 - Neg
Aug 05 - infected
Oct 05 - cd4 780, vl 60k
Apr 08 - cd4 430, vl 243
Jul 08 - cd4 550, vl 896
Nov 08 - cd4 730, vl 1.8k
May 09 - cd4 590, vl 1.5k
Sep 09 - cd4 460 vl 34k
Dec 09 - cd4 470 vl 42k
April 10 - cd4 430 vl 88.5k
July 10 - cd4 330 vl 118k
Aug 10 - started reyataz/truvada/norvir
Aug 10 - cd4 380 vl 4k (12 days after starting meds :))
Sep 10 - cd4 520 vl 1.5k
Oct 10 - cd4 590 vl 44
Jan 11 -cd4 610 vl <40 cd4% 50
May 11 - cd4 780 vl UD

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,101
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2010, 06:10:14 PM »
Thnx Leese.

Maybe yes. It is not the best time of the year for sufferers of depression, indeed.
I tend to be very optimistic and have a genuine smile on my face. But somehow my heart is aching and I cannot find love for myself.
Why is it so difficult to love oneself?

Just stating .... always giving and putting others first . But when it come to my needs I honestely answer..needs? what needs? do I have needs?

Thnx anyway for your reply.

xx Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2010, 07:00:23 PM »
Hi Hermie (Did you change your screen name?)
When you say you go into a depression how long is it for?

Are you the type of person to hide or not let people see what your needs are?  Everybody has needs you just have to decide what is important in your life and let others in on it.

Stay strong!
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,101
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2010, 07:41:53 PM »
Quote
Are you the type of person to hide or not let people see what your needs are?

Absolutely. It is always about the others. Mother Theresa complex I guess.
I am just now learning to love myself.. slowly.. after meeeting the Dalai Lama in person last month in India.

He told us  : 

Confidence in yourself
Human potential
is the same for all.
Your feeling,
" I am of no value"
is wrong.
Absolutely wrong.
You are deceiving yourself.
We alle have the power
of thought.
So, what are you lacking?
If you have the willpower,
then you can do anything.
It is usually said that you are
your own master.

Well... I guess I need to put it to life.

I did not change my screennaame , no.

Snow, thnx for the kind words. My latest depression started a week or so ago. I just slipped into it. Forgettting about myself . It is not the sad type. Just not being in contact with my inner self. Thus... very lonely.

xxx Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,413
Re: Depression lurks for LTS? Myth or trueth.
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2010, 08:08:50 PM »
Wow, you met the Dalai Lama last month, I think I would of been riding that high for at least a month. 

I don't mean to make a joke of it but I didn't think many people got to meet the Dalai Lama.  I hope you follow his words and find the worth in yourself that you are able to find in others.
Take care,
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

 


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