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Author Topic: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!  (Read 12994 times)

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Offline Lucky2behere

  • Member
  • Posts: 74
  • Kick'n a bugs butt
Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #50 on: October 23, 2010, 01:24:45 AM »
I'm new and not offended. I appreciate the dark humor Matty and all. This is the first time I have laughed out loud on this forum. I  think what a new person needs to remember is every person is different and many have lived very long lives. Secondly, pork will kill you faster than HIV.

For me, I suspect I'll die when a shark bites off my head but I hope at least someone gets a photo. And I'd vote for cremation because I don't want some pastey makeup job and people I don't even know staring at me talking about what a good job the makeup guy did.

Cheers for dark humor.  :D
March 2010 tested HIV Pos
probably infected 2.5 years
Sept.  2010 CD4 520 %24 vl 18,000
Nov.   2010 CD4 560    ?   vl  1,400
Dec. 5 2010 Started Truvada Isentress
Jan.  5 2011 CD4 380   ?    vl      63

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #51 on: October 23, 2010, 11:55:04 AM »
Sharkie, I like that one better, your the man  ;)

 I've been in the water during several feeding frenzies. I was  amazed how efficient sharks are. Besides being an adrenalin rush it was quite beautiful really; not a piece of the carcass was left.
 
   Now, to find someone willing to hack me up when I'm stiff as a board.  Any volunteers?


   

   

Offline RapidRod

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #52 on: October 23, 2010, 01:48:07 PM »
I've been in the water during several feeding frenzies. I was  amazed how efficient sharks are. Besides being an adrenalin rush it was quite beautiful really; not a piece of the carcass was left.
 
   Now, to find someone willing to hack me up when I'm stiff as a board.  Any volunteers?


   

   
No problem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYP8EjjLR3k

Offline denb45

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #53 on: October 23, 2010, 01:50:23 PM »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #54 on: October 23, 2010, 02:05:29 PM »
Ya see... that's the love and support I need from this site.
     

     Gawd I love you guys!

Offline komnaes

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #55 on: October 23, 2010, 02:07:08 PM »
That reminds me of the movie Fargo..  ;)
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Joe K

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #56 on: October 23, 2010, 03:06:23 PM »
WHY is Matty allowed to say things that are inappropriate in the Living with HIV forum? I get he has s sense of humor but   he is stating his opinion as if it were a fact.  This is not nice.

Matty, those of us who have been lurking here for years understand this thread is your own version of sarcastic humor, but you need to find a way to distinguish your off planet humor with fact so you don't freak out some of the newbies here that take whatever they read as literal fact.  I am sorry to say that you shook up a couple of people,  people that  don't need to be shaken up right now.  Maybe we need a separate Matty's Rat's Ass Pucker Hole  thread forum so people are able to separate fact from fiction.  ::)

Dark, twisted humor has proved a lifeline over decades of living with HIV. Matty's humor, while depraved, is another form of coping for him and for others. In the 80s we used to have T-cell naming parties, with prizes for the most original names. By using humor, no matter how dark, we could find a temporary reprieve from the death and dying that surrounded us. For me, humor is paramount in my struggle to thrive with HIV.

However, even if it were not, I would never consider suggesting that others deny themselves that coping mechanism, or that readers are unable to distinguish fact from humor. We keep telling folks how damn hard it is living with HIV, because it is and we encourage them to use whatever tools they can find, so that eventually they can thrive with HIV. Humor is one such tool and it is a tool that suits Matty particularly well. I would never, ever, consider telling him to stop laughing, or worse, to stop bringing some much needed fun to these forums.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #57 on: October 23, 2010, 03:12:31 PM »
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #58 on: October 23, 2010, 03:16:01 PM »
Cause of death is almost as important as the death itself... One of my personal favorites is the non-celebrity suicide.  My friend was so proud of his parents and siblings alike, they would drive from Bell Gardens to drink beer with their gay family member (who had HIV).  They would complain because Coors beer was not stocked in the gay bars.

One year on Valentines Day, the father was not with the family.  The mother said, "father is in a depression and threatened to kill himself today"  Mother showed me his pistol in her purse.  His mother SAVED Fathers LIFE!  Damn gay bars don't serve Coors Beer...  Father was smarter than Mother, she forgot the rifle in the closet and Father pulled the trigger with his toe.  Another member of the family had committed suicide on another Valentines Day.

So, a year passed, Mother and siblings continued to patronize the gay bars because hey were proud of their gay family member and still willing to drive from Bell Gardens to gay bars that didn't serve Coors Beer.  Then one day on Valentines Day, my friend came over in an unusually good mood, we went to his new house with his Marilyn Monroe memorabilia  proudly displayed and off to celebrate.  Also to find someone with Turbo Tax on his computer.  So, I am a light-weight and went home...

Heard my doorbell going off at 2:00 AM and unplugged the sucker.  Not up for any after hours hosting but in the morning, there were police cars, the meat wagon and deputy sheriff cars everywhere.  My friend had taken an overdose and died amongst his Marilyn Monroe collection.

We planned a memorial service with Suicide Prevention as the beneficiary who failed to attend.  They did send a thank you letter to the owner of the bar who also did not attend.  My BF saw a cutie at the memorial service and took him home.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #59 on: October 23, 2010, 03:46:50 PM »
So in the end, the surviving family members have to decide "what to do with the remains?"  What if it is an uncle that nobody liked?  On the Hurl side of the family we had such an Uncle, he was a truck driver who was not permanently physically injured when his logging truck crashed through a bridge, he dropped 20 feet to a creek bed, spent a few days in a hospital and spent the rest of his life trying to fin a doctor who would get him a disability pay check and would go home from every doctor visit with a new illness.  He read the headlines in a newspaper about HIV, went home to his wife and announced he had Hiv (pronounced hive).

When the Uncle Deadbeat found out he would have had to been fucked in the dark passage or have done drugs, he changed his story after all, the doctor made a mistake and he didn't have HIV.  He spent another 20 years looking for a disease, any disease just to get that pity and the elusive disability income check.  He died of natural causes...

I probably already told you that some of my family are Baptists, some nondenominational and some are Witches.  Uncle Deadbeat was cremated and on a New Moon my cousins and I invoked Hecate The Queen Goddess of Darkness and Death.  Since one of the Cousins was from Louisiana, we told the neighbors it was Cajun and covered his remains with sea salt so his spirit could not get free and the next day, the road was paved.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael


Offline skeebo1969

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #60 on: October 23, 2010, 04:04:19 PM »
Dark, twisted humor has proved a lifeline over decades of living with HIV. Matty's humor, while depraved, is another form of coping for him and for others. In the 80s we used to have T-cell naming parties, with prizes for the most original names. By using humor, no matter how dark, we could find a temporary reprieve from the death and dying that surrounded us. For me, humor is paramount in my struggle to thrive with HIV.

However, even if it were not, I would never consider suggesting that others deny themselves that coping mechanism, or that readers are unable to distinguish fact from humor. We keep telling folks how damn hard it is living with HIV, because it is and we encourage them to use whatever tools they can find, so that eventually they can thrive with HIV. Humor is one such tool and it is a tool that suits Matty particularly well. I would never, ever, consider telling him to stop laughing, or worse, to stop bringing some much needed fun to these forums.

Nicely said Joe.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline camille07

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #61 on: October 23, 2010, 05:14:01 PM »
I think the thread's title amply exhibits Matty's humor, it's a dead giveaway.  Pun intended!

Granny60

  • Guest
Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #62 on: October 23, 2010, 06:06:28 PM »
Killfoille,  I understand clearly that you pretty well want to butt heads on anything I say here, and I well understand coping mechanisms, how hard HIV is to live with and the MULTIPLE hardships it imposes.  I Never said the Matty should cease his sarcasm.  The problem is that some of the newbies , as I stated, don't yet get that Matty is just....well,  Matty, and haven't yet caught on to his dark side,   so there needs to be a way to clearly distinguish what is fiction. I understand very clearly that you disagreed that some of the newly diagnosed are fragile,  but the fact remains,  some of them are in a VERY fragile state with their new diagnosis and reading that they are going to die after some of us have spent considerable time trying to uplift them and give them support is counter productive.  Instead of waiting on another negative response from you I am going to put you BACK on my ignore list. I really don't want to argue with anyone.   :(
« Last Edit: October 23, 2010, 06:08:27 PM by Granny60 »

Online Jeff G

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #63 on: October 23, 2010, 06:12:21 PM »
Killfoille,  I understand clearly that you pretty well want to butt heads on anything I say here, and I well understand coping mechanisms, how hard HIV is to live with and the MULTIPLE hardships it imposes.  I Never said the Matty should cease his sarcasm.  The problem is that some of the newbies , as I stated, don't yet get that Matty is just....well,  Matty, and haven't yet caught on to his dark side,   so there needs to be a way to clearly distinguish what is fiction. I understand very clearly that you disagreed that some of the newly diagnosed are fragile,  but the fact remains,  some of them are in a VERY fragile state with their new diagnosis and reading that they are going to die after some of us have spent considerable time trying to uplift them and give them support is counter productive.  Instead of waiting on another negative response from you I am going to put you BACK on my ignore list. I really don't want to argue with anyone.   :(



Objection your honor , argumentative  ;D

Offline WillyWump

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #64 on: October 23, 2010, 06:20:21 PM »
Moreover should I object to a religious ceremony (given that I'm a frightful atheist) or should I simply accept that funerals are for the Living and not the Dead and let my ghastly Catholic family have a Mass in my honour?

MtD

Matty, after you depart this God forsaken world I would be quite honored if you would send me a little baggy of your ashes so I can mix it in with my kitty litter so's Lil Matty can take a big 'ol piss and crap in you at which time I would recite the Lord's prayer over and over until the litter box explodes.

Speaking of baggy...before my best bud Scott died he had decided he wanted some of his ashes to be mixed in with an ounce of cocaine and all of us have a great fabulous party where we would get jacked up to Jesus on Coke and Scott. We were all on board with this of course, but in the end his mother refused to give us any ashes as she was afraid what us "Homo heathens" might do with it (afterall it was our fault he was gay and got the AIDS)

But back to the point at hand. I have a pre-arranged plan that I bought after I was first diagnosed (some 2 years ago) and of course I am still making payments on it. But that's not the problem, the problem is that somehow over the years I have found myself knee deep in cemetary plots. Through weird family dynamics and odd inheritance lines I own 3 now, One next to my dad in the family plot in a hellish little Tx town, One next to my granny in SA and one in Austin.

But I think I will use none of them as I am leaning towards being cremated, It's just makes better sense. Not to mention the thought of my stunning good looks and toned body being thrown to the worms just doesnt sit well with me. Also, I don't want my soul hanging around in my dead  body, and I'm assuming that souls do not like fire so I figure by burning it out it will be forced to go over to the "good land".

So if anyone is looking for a nice piece of real estate six feet under in Texas (God's Land), just hit me up, I'll cut you a deal :)

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #65 on: October 23, 2010, 06:22:25 PM »
This just came to mind.  I think I will tape sound bites of me talking about my life, have them play it for all who come to endure the graveside service.  I do NOT want to be hauled into the church and have my casket draped with flowers and such (maybe poison ivy would be ok).  Perhaps a thunderstorm will come up while this is going on out there at Magnolia Cemetery. 
« Last Edit: October 23, 2010, 06:24:35 PM by hope_for_a_cure »

Offline Joe K

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #66 on: October 23, 2010, 07:46:29 PM »
Post removed.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2010, 10:04:40 PM by killfoile »

Offline ElZorro

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #67 on: October 23, 2010, 08:02:40 PM »
Killfoille,  I understand clearly that you pretty well want to butt heads on anything I say here, and I well understand coping mechanisms, how hard HIV is to live with and the MULTIPLE hardships it imposes.  I Never said the Matty should cease his sarcasm.  The problem is that some of the newbies , as I stated, don't yet get that Matty is just....well,  Matty, and haven't yet caught on to his dark side,   so there needs to be a way to clearly distinguish what is fiction. I understand very clearly that you disagreed that some of the newly diagnosed are fragile,  but the fact remains,  some of them are in a VERY fragile state with their new diagnosis and reading that they are going to die after some of us have spent considerable time trying to uplift them and give them support is counter productive.  Instead of waiting on another negative response from you I am going to put you BACK on my ignore list. I really don't want to argue with anyone.   :(

I understood what you were saying, Granny, and agree completely. I guess I'm a little slow on the uptake, but at first, I thought Matty was serious and I was a bit alarmed...lol!  ;) I also don't understand why you're consistently being rebuked and attacked when you post. I appreciate your contributions out here and the fact that you don't come across as "holier than thou".

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #68 on: October 24, 2010, 01:36:20 AM »

Speaking of baggy...before my best bud Scott died he had decided he wanted some of his ashes to be mixed in with an ounce of cocaine and all of us have a great fabulous party where we would get jacked up to Jesus on Coke and Scott. We were all on board with this of course, but in the end his mother refused to give us any ashes as she was afraid what us "Homo heathens" might do with it (afterall it was our fault he was gay and got the AIDS)

-Will

She sounds like my late ex's entire family. Is she Baptist? They were, the assholes.

But, I digress . . .

I have toyed with the idea of having a large, marble mausoleum built, replete with statues and bas reliefs of multiple Pagan Gods and Goddesses, including a large carving of Hern, the Horned God.

If I can't afford marble, then the famous pink granite native to my homeland here in the Land of Enchantment, and from which the Cathedral of St. Francis in Santa Fe is constructed, will do just as well, and maybe even better, because I would be supporting local artisans.

Or, I could just say "screw it," be cremated and use the money I would have spent on the mausoleum to throw one big party for all my friends, or those who have managed to out live me anyway.

That sounds like a better send off to me.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline anniebc

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #69 on: October 24, 2010, 04:17:37 AM »
That reminds me of the movie Fargo..  ;)

One of my favourite movies.. :D

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline BT65

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #70 on: October 24, 2010, 05:49:05 AM »
It seems that there have been more people who are having fun with this thread, (and discussing their end of life decisions), than people who are insulted.  Perhaps it's best to learn to take life lightly sometimes. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #71 on: October 24, 2010, 11:59:30 AM »
Killfoille,  I understand clearly that you pretty well want to butt heads on anything I say here, and I well understand coping mechanisms, how hard HIV is to live with and the MULTIPLE hardships it imposes.  I Never said the Matty should cease his sarcasm.  The problem is that some of the newbies , as I stated, don't yet get that Matty is just....well,  Matty, and haven't yet caught on to his dark side,   so there needs to be a way to clearly distinguish what is fiction. I understand very clearly that you disagreed that some of the newly diagnosed are fragile,  but the fact remains,  some of them are in a VERY fragile state with their new diagnosis and reading that they are going to die after some of us have spent considerable time trying to uplift them and give them support is counter productive.  Instead of waiting on another negative response from you I am going to put you BACK on my ignore list. I really don't want to argue with anyone.   :(

  .....and this is why this post is in Living With aka Dealing With  and not Just Tested Poz. 

   I'm not sure why you are so concerned about how noobs are going to react to this thread. There are plenty other threads and forums on this site that lend to "uplifting support"   whatever that may mean.  I guess you could compare it to watching television... If you don't like it turn the channel   

     but getting back to the topic of this thread
             
     Tell us, grandparent,   how do you want to go?  Don't spare any gory details please. Halloween is right around the corner ya know.

Offline joemutt

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #72 on: October 24, 2010, 12:54:49 PM »
I asked my friends to give me the simplest cremation possible and throw away the ashes.
my family agreed not to claim my remains and i made sure i got struck off the baptism list
of my church so that i will not be given any further unwanted sacraments. they reconfirmed.
Dead is dead, I made my peace with it when I got diagnosed 13 years ago. Oh wait, 13 years,
I should be dead already. ;) In the meanwhile I'll enjoy life.

Granny60

  • Guest
Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #73 on: October 24, 2010, 01:31:00 PM »
  .....and this is why this post is in Living With aka Dealing With  and not Just Tested Poz. 

   I'm not sure why you are so concerned about how noobs are going to react to this thread. There are plenty other threads and forums on this site that lend to "uplifting support"   whatever that may mean.  I guess you could compare it to watching television... If you don't like it turn the channel   

     but getting back to the topic of this thread
             
     Tell us, grandparent,   how do you want to go?  Don't spare any gory details please. Halloween is right around the corner ya know.

NO plans to go anywhere. I will be lurking on this planet for decades. ;)

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #74 on: October 24, 2010, 01:50:11 PM »
NO plans to go anywhere. I will be lurking on this planet for decades. ;)

   now, that is scary

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #75 on: October 24, 2010, 02:37:55 PM »
  now, that is scary

Sounds like someone who plans to keep on coming back from the dead.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2010, 05:34:51 PM by Rev. Moon »
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #76 on: October 24, 2010, 09:23:55 PM »
One of my greatest fears is... What if the Hurl's get custody of my ashes?  We know ahead of the line "Little Doll" has a bible and she never stops quoting from it but there is also my truck drivin bro, Butch, Plain Butch... who can quote John 3:60 but his favorite place is Fosters Freeze because it is at the bottom of a hill and he gets a boner everytime a Jake brake from a logging tuck starts rumblin.

On an early trip to dispose of Mom and Aunties ashes, they were heading to Eloy Arizona and signing in unison "I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari, Tehachapi to Tonopah, ...(pardon the spelling, these are places a person born in Topanga doesn't need to spell) driven every kind of rig that's ever made, even drove the back roads so I wouldn't get weighed and if you give me WEED, WHITES and WINE, show me a sign ,I'll be willin to be movin"  And suddenly the car broke down in Palm Desert!

"Little Doll" and "Butch, Plain Butch" were stuck in the high desert and stopped to rent a car, but the last of the Enterprise sub-compacts was already rented and they received a free upgrade of a camel.  This was no ordinary camel, it had been trained to stop at the red lights and go at the green lights so they boarded the 2 hump dromedary with two bags of ashes (Mom and Auntie) and they were fine until they reached Palm Springs.

Somewhere near the Betty Ford Center the light turned red, the camel stopped... Two guys in a sports car pulled up along side them and said, "look at those two assholes on the camel."  Since the camel was already stopped, "Little Doll"and "Butch, Plain Butch" got off to see the camels two ass holes, then the light turned green so the camel took off without them but with the ashes of Mom and Auntie.    ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Lucky2behere

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #77 on: October 26, 2010, 01:04:45 AM »
I've started planning my funeral service AKA party since I read all these posts and I decided... I know this huge great sports bar that has 55 wide screen flat TVs all around and I'm gonna just have a picture of myself set out on a table, a glamour shot from 20 years earlier- better do it now. And I'm gonna invite everybody I ever knew, gay or straight, and make them all watch "Pretty Woman" over and over again.
March 2010 tested HIV Pos
probably infected 2.5 years
Sept.  2010 CD4 520 %24 vl 18,000
Nov.   2010 CD4 560    ?   vl  1,400
Dec. 5 2010 Started Truvada Isentress
Jan.  5 2011 CD4 380   ?    vl      63

Offline john33

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #78 on: October 26, 2010, 05:52:26 AM »
. And I'm gonna invite everybody I ever knew, gay or straight, and make them all watch "Pretty Woman" over and over again.

I'm getting the sense you enjoy torturing people

Granny60

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #79 on: October 26, 2010, 11:58:41 AM »
One of my greatest fears is... What if the Hurl's get custody of my ashes?  We know ahead of the line "Little Doll" has a bible and she never stops quoting from it but there is also my truck drivin bro, Butch, Plain Butch... who can quote John 3:60 but his favorite place is Fosters Freeze because it is at the bottom of a hill and he gets a boner everytime a Jake brake from a logging tuck starts rumblin.

On an early trip to dispose of Mom and Aunties ashes, they were heading to Eloy Arizona and signing in unison "I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari, Tehachapi to Tonopah, ...(pardon the spelling, these are places a person born in Topanga doesn't need to spell) driven every kind of rig that's ever made, even drove the back roads so I wouldn't get weighed and if you give me WEED, WHITES and WINE, show me a sign ,I'll be willin to be movin"  And suddenly the car broke down in Palm Desert!

"Little Doll" and "Butch, Plain Butch" were stuck in the high desert and stopped to rent a car, but the last of the Enterprise sub-compacts was already rented and they received a free upgrade of a camel.  This was no ordinary camel, it had been trained to stop at the red lights and go at the green lights so they boarded the 2 hump dromedary with two bags of ashes (Mom and Auntie) and they were fine until they reached Palm Springs.

Somewhere near the Betty Ford Center the light turned red, the camel stopped... Two guys in a sports car pulled up along side them and said, "look at those two assholes on the camel."  Since the camel was already stopped, "Little Doll"and "Butch, Plain Butch" got off to see the camels two ass holes, then the light turned green so the camel took off without them but with the ashes of Mom and Auntie.    ;D  Have the best day
Michael

 ;D

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #80 on: October 26, 2010, 06:33:00 PM »
;D

Oh, Dear Granny,

Every story I told in this thread is true except for the "2 assholes on the camel" which is a metaphor.   There is a person in my life who said (3 years ago) that he will always be in my life and will always be there for me and I see no reason why he won't be at age 86 when I die in my sleep of a heat attack.  He is the person who chose UCSF as my care provider when our HIV clinic closed last June for lack of funding.  Butch, Plain Butch and Little Doll (my siblings from the Hurl side of the family) have been removed from my records as family and I am now an only child.  I think spending 25 years in my brother's closet with Mom, Auntie and the shoes is not a proper send off   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline ElZorro

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #81 on: October 26, 2010, 06:46:42 PM »
I get an extremely tiny amount of disability from the VA...maybe enough to buy a half-round of drinks at AMG...I've told me family that I want to be moved to the basement and plugged in so that the checks will continue to keep "rolling in" and I can send any kids my son may adopt to college. ;)

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #82 on: October 26, 2010, 07:47:22 PM »
I've started planning my funeral service AKA party since I read all these posts and I decided... I know this huge great sports bar that has 55 wide screen flat TVs all around and I'm gonna just have a picture of myself set out on a table, a glamour shot from 20 years earlier- better do it now. And I'm gonna invite everybody I ever knew, gay or straight, and make them all watch "Pretty Woman" over and over again.

Hey Lucky,

I think you have touched on something which could have been better addressed by Dear Abby or the Hints From Heloise column, that is...  The guest list is as important as the theme in successful entertaining.  The average person gets his or her name in the paper twice in their life, Notice of Live Birth and the Obituary and it's what we do in the middle that makes us standout as individuals.  Therefor a funeral requires the planning skills of a professional, like a wedding planner.  I think you have those skills and could look into hiring your services a consultant.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Lucky2behere

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #83 on: October 26, 2010, 09:48:08 PM »
Choofnhurl - There are other movies that I like better but since this would be a funeral party about honesty.

Also, I'd say if people stayed a very long time, I'd toss in "Fried Green Tomatoes," "Little Women," and "Steel Magnolias." This place has 5 big rooms. A different movie could play in every room. :D

All we have here is what life hands us on a styrofoam plate. I used to let every negative comment get me down - ruin my day even - but life is to short for that.

This is all we got, so I'm gonna dance baby! :-*
March 2010 tested HIV Pos
probably infected 2.5 years
Sept.  2010 CD4 520 %24 vl 18,000
Nov.   2010 CD4 560    ?   vl  1,400
Dec. 5 2010 Started Truvada Isentress
Jan.  5 2011 CD4 380   ?    vl      63

Granny60

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #84 on: October 26, 2010, 09:49:17 PM »
Oh, Dear Granny,

Every story I told in this thread is true except for the "2 assholes on the camel" which is a metaphor.   There is a person in my life who said (3 years ago) that he will always be in my life and will always be there for me and I see no reason why he won't be at age 86 when I die in my sleep of a heat attack.  He is the person who chose UCSF as my care provider when our HIV clinic closed last June for lack of funding.  Butch, Plain Butch and Little Doll (my siblings from the Hurl side of the family) have been removed from my records as family and I am now an only child.  I think spending 25 years in my brother's closet with Mom, Auntie and the shoes is not a proper send off   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

 ::)  Every family has some of those types ::).  You told the story in such a way that it was entertaining. Thanks for sharing!

Granny60

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #85 on: October 26, 2010, 09:52:39 PM »
Choofnhurl - There are other movies that I like better but since this would be a funeral party about honesty.

Also, I'd say if people stayed a very long time, I'd toss in "Fried Green Tomatoes," "Little Women," and "Steel Magnolias." This place has 5 big rooms. A different movie could play in every room. :D

All we have here is what life hands us on a styrofoam plate. I used to let every negative comment get me down - ruin my day even - but life is to short for that.

This is all we got, so I'm gonna dance baby! :-*

Lucky, You let er rip! Pour it on!

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #86 on: October 26, 2010, 10:31:32 PM »

This is all we got, so I'm gonna dance baby! :-*

You Can Dance, For Inspiration~ Madonna

For myself, I was thinking along the literary set where the guests would either bring in a pot luck item, named after a work of the author of my choice and give a short talk on why their pot luck item applies to the theme of the party.

--OR--

One of my, "back in the day when men were a disposable item" BF's was a violinist with the San Francisco Symphony and he was ever so surprised, I could nap during his practice time.  If I could have the acoustics of the Hollywood Bowl and Tom's Chamber Music quartet the entire wedding funeral procession would be bored to death and the late 60's band, "The Fugs" could leap to the stage from their wheel chairs for the comeback tour featuring their song, "We're Both Dead Now-Alice" and the gate tickets would cover the cost of the entire funeral.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael
« Last Edit: October 26, 2010, 10:33:16 PM by Choofnhurl »

Offline Jody

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #87 on: October 27, 2010, 08:41:49 PM »
I believe with all my heart that when Mattala dies he will be placed in the ground by his many disciples and after three days he shall rise up, push aside a huge bolder and leave the ground forever.  I shall be waiting with a nice bacon and egg on a fresh bagel.

Jody :D
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #88 on: October 28, 2010, 02:22:16 AM »
I want my consciousness digitized and transferred into a robot body with a mainframe backup, like in Battlestar Galactica. That way I will never die. I'm sure Steve Jobs is in a secret lair working on his new iBody.

Offline denb45

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #89 on: October 28, 2010, 08:53:47 AM »
I want my consciousness digitized and transferred into a robot body with a mainframe backup, like in Battlestar Galactica. That way I will never die. I'm sure Steve Jobs is in a secret lair working on his new iBody.

But, everyone you'd ever known in your life time would be dead, no matter how many of those life times you would have, so where's the fun in that  ::) after a while wouldn't that get OLD, then you'd want to kill yourself erase your backup, after you got sick of living so many years  :D   I'm sure Steve Jobs is not of this world, he's really an alien......
« Last Edit: October 28, 2010, 09:09:31 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #90 on: October 28, 2010, 10:26:41 AM »
But, everyone you'd ever known in your life time would be dead, no matter how many of those life times you would have, so where's the fun in that  ::) after a while wouldn't that get OLD, then you'd want to kill yourself erase your backup, after you got sick of living so many years  :D   I'm sure Steve Jobs is not of this world, he's really an alien......

I'm not stingy, robot bodies for everyone!

I don't know if I would get bored with living forever but I would love to find out.

Offline denb45

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #91 on: October 28, 2010, 10:54:14 AM »
I'm not stingy, robot bodies for everyone!

I don't know if I would get bored with living forever but I would love to find out.

How about robot genitals for everyone, that sounds more like fun to me , at least your sexual boby parts would never wear out  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Online Jeff G

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #92 on: October 28, 2010, 10:59:39 AM »
How about robot genitals for everyone, that sounds more like fun to me , at least your sexual boby parts would never wear out  ;D

I already have robot genitals , it runs on battery's and stays in my underwear drawer , his name is dildo  ;)
   

Offline denb45

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #93 on: October 28, 2010, 11:10:06 AM »
I already have robot genitals , it runs on battery's and stays in my underwear drawer , his name is dildo  ;)
  

Oh poor j a hard man can solve this problem for you, but, a dildo will do for now I suppose  ;D

all kidding aside tho, DEATH IS FINAL, you don't come back, at least to this world you don't
« Last Edit: October 28, 2010, 11:13:59 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Granny60

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #94 on: October 28, 2010, 11:30:20 AM »
Have you ever noticed how lifelike some of the didldos are now?  Full of vigor, soft yet firm, looks like someone you actually knew? :o  Maybe they really are people reincarnated into a robotic afterlife :o
« Last Edit: October 28, 2010, 11:32:03 AM by Granny60 »

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #95 on: October 28, 2010, 11:39:05 AM »

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #96 on: October 28, 2010, 02:06:25 PM »
With an HIV twist!

Ten uses for your body after you die

Threaten me with a GOOD TIME and THEN, call me vicious   ;D  Have the best day
Michael
(who heard John Dillinger's dick was removed and saved at the Smithsonian)

Offline Terry

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #97 on: October 28, 2010, 03:22:15 PM »
13 years?  Matty, I'm still kicking and into year 28 after diagnose. At first I just accepted the inevitable, but when that didn't happen, like everyone said it would, I just moved on. And I'm still here, now in my mid sixties, and I might add, doing better than most people Inside the past few years I have had Hernia surgery, Two heart attacks, Angioplasty Prostate cancer, Radiation treatment, etc. I really cannot remember half the surgeries that I've had But my attitude is Fuck It do what you have to do and hope for the best.

Atheist myself. Well really a recovering catholic. Three times now, I have had the experience of my organs shutting down and looking towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Never was it as scary as people make it out to be

Matty, as far as putting your affairs in order, have at it. Myself, I have done my papers over and over again and again. Only thing is, the people I mention, (Executors, Trustees etc.)  keep on dying on me and yet I'm still here and their gone.

Recently I had to take myself to the emergency room, I thought I was having another heart attack, turned out it was a pulled neck and back muscles from my moving this huge  planter, buy myself, across the patio When I got to the hospital my BP was 200/100 so you can see my concern. The admitting nurse asked me a few question to bring my files up to date, like insurance and who to contact. The insurance was the same but the three people I had mentioned are no longer here. All dead, none from HIV/Aids and everyone of them at least 15 years younger than me. Go figure

So Matty, knock yourself out updating your legal affairs. It just might keep you out of trouble LOL! But the one thing I am sure of, no matter how air tight you make those legal documents, somewhere along the line the papers will get screwed up.

I don't visit Aidsmeds forum that much anymore but I do enjoy checking in every once and awhile. This forum and a number of people that are part of it have meant the world to me. And have greatly helped in my being able to make health choices, otherwise I would not have made

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #98 on: October 28, 2010, 03:27:15 PM »
Michael
(who heard John Dillinger's dick was removed and saved at the Smithsonian)

I'm envisioning it taxidermied and mounted proudly on a wall, like a deer head.

Offline Lucky2behere

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Re: So You're Dead Now? Entertain Us!
« Reply #99 on: October 28, 2010, 08:28:33 PM »
The anchient Greeks use to keep statues around town and carvings of penises at their doorway to keep away the Evil Eye, which I guess is a curse.  8)

And I must say for light reading, you all are quite entertaining and I can certainly feel the love here. :D
March 2010 tested HIV Pos
probably infected 2.5 years
Sept.  2010 CD4 520 %24 vl 18,000
Nov.   2010 CD4 560    ?   vl  1,400
Dec. 5 2010 Started Truvada Isentress
Jan.  5 2011 CD4 380   ?    vl      63

 


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