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Author Topic: GETTING A LOT OF MOOD SWINGS, ROUGH TIMES  (Read 604 times)

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Offline cityboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 144
GETTING A LOT OF MOOD SWINGS, ROUGH TIMES
« on: October 10, 2010, 08:13:19 PM »
Not sure what's going on, but have been happy then my mood just changes to be very down, then crying.  My best friend  has been very distant.  I have never told him my status because I am afraid of rejection.  I am also having a difficult year, losing a good friend, losing a relative, and a good friend's father suddenly dieing.  I am trying to make new friends.  At the same time I am ashamed that I compromised the good health my mother gave me.  I am feeling very alone.  I am also overwhelmed with a full plate of things to do personally and a busy work schedule.  I want to tell my best friend about all this thats going on with me, but  I feel I am barking up the wrong tree.  He always seems to put his wishes before everyone elses.  I am a simple guy and just want my life to be happy and fulfilling, I am losing sight of how to do this.

Offline Joe K

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Re: GETTING A LOT OF MOOD SWINGS, ROUGH TIMES
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2010, 08:45:06 PM »
Hey City,

I'm sorry to hear you are having a real hard time right now. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must feel, but I can tell you that it will get better. As I read your post, I think you may be suffering some form of depression and I suggest that you talk with a psychiatrist, to see if some short term medication could be helpful. I suffer from depression and I can tell you that it really colors your world. When I am really depressed I look for things that confirm how I feel, rather than reality. Maybe that is how you feel and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way, however you know you are not feeling right, so get some help. You are going through some really tough times and there is never any shame in asking for help.

I also encourage you to address how you feel about yourself, because you do not talk very kindly about you. You have nothing to be ashamed about because you are poz. That being said, you may feel ashamed for being poz and I urge you to confront that issue. Maybe you need to forgive yourself, if you had any role in becoming poz. We are humans, we make mistakes. It's good to learn from the past, but if you insist on remaining in the past, you can never reach for your future.

If I was you, I would work at lowering my stress level and if that includes pulling back on areas, then that is what you need to do. What matters here is helping you to adjust to your status. For me, it helps if I can separate issues, because then I can address them directly. It does not matter what or how you do it, you are unhappy and you want change. If you feel that you can't even tell your best friend, then I would suggest he is not that good of a friend. You are the same person today, that you were when you were negative. The ONLY difference now is you are poz. If all he can see, when he looks at you, is HIV, then you need new friends.

Try and take it slow and allow yourself to feel. Make time for you, every day, to do something that you like. Try and keep healthy habits and keep sharing what you feel. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need time to adjust. Allow yourself that time and remember that what matters here is you and only you.

Welcome to the Forums!

Offline cityboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 144
Re: GETTING A LOT OF MOOD SWINGS, ROUGH TIMES
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2010, 09:32:27 PM »
Thanks a lot for your thoughtful reply.  It is very helpful.  I hope you are doing well.


Hey City,

I'm sorry to hear you are having a real hard time right now. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must feel, but I can tell you that it will get better. As I read your post, I think you may be suffering some form of depression and I suggest that you talk with a psychiatrist, to see if some short term medication could be helpful. I suffer from depression and I can tell you that it really colors your world. When I am really depressed I look for things that confirm how I feel, rather than reality. Maybe that is how you feel and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way, however you know you are not feeling right, so get some help. You are going through some really tough times and there is never any shame in asking for help.

I also encourage you to address how you feel about yourself, because you do not talk very kindly about you. You have nothing to be ashamed about because you are poz. That being said, you may feel ashamed for being poz and I urge you to confront that issue. Maybe you need to forgive yourself, if you had any role in becoming poz. We are humans, we make mistakes. It's good to learn from the past, but if you insist on remaining in the past, you can never reach for your future.

If I was you, I would work at lowering my stress level and if that includes pulling back on areas, then that is what you need to do. What matters here is helping you to adjust to your status. For me, it helps if I can separate issues, because then I can address them directly. It does not matter what or how you do it, you are unhappy and you want change. If you feel that you can't even tell your best friend, then I would suggest he is not that good of a friend. You are the same person today, that you were when you were negative. The ONLY difference now is you are poz. If all he can see, when he looks at you, is HIV, then you need new friends.

Try and take it slow and allow yourself to feel. Make time for you, every day, to do something that you like. Try and keep healthy habits and keep sharing what you feel. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need time to adjust. Allow yourself that time and remember that what matters here is you and only you.

Welcome to the Forums!

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,758
Re: GETTING A LOT OF MOOD SWINGS, ROUGH TIMES
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2010, 11:18:45 PM »
My best friend from childhood is going through something very similar.  And, he is HIV neg.  He has had several failed relationships with one just ending recently.  He makes decent money, but always seems to be broke.  He lives here in Louisville where I live and he's been coming over and spending the night a lot.  I'm his only family here.  He has expressed many of the same feelings you have.  He says he is having bad mood swings, anxiety, and depression.  He told me he felt like bashing his head against a wall and felt like committing himself. 

At first, I dismissed his feelings.  I suppose I did this, because he didn't seem that bad to me.  And, because, at first, I thought I have a life-threatening disease and have way more to be concerned about and have depression myself.  Then, I realized that was stupid and selfish.  I wasn't being a good friend.  We all have our own problems and realities.  Just because he doesn't have HIV, doesn't make his mental issues any less important than mine.  So, I have tried to be a better friend.  He also comes from a family with a history of depression--especially manic depression.  About him not seeming that bad to me, I realized that people often are able to hide things.  I'm sure many people I know would be surprised I deal with depression.  They would probably think I seem happy when I'm around them. 

As Kill said, you should really consider seeking help if you haven't done so yet.  My friend is now on depression meds.  I'm trying now to talk him into seeing a psychiatrist, therapist, or someone who is qualified in dealing with these things.   I believe many people do have a chemical imbalance where meds are appropriate.  I believe I fall into that category where just talking about problems isn't going to cure my depression.  Having said that, I know talking with someone qualified does help to deal with depression and anxiety than the meds alone.  I wish you the best dealing with this.  I deal with depression, but I keep hope that it will get better.  You have to keep hope that things will get better.  Keep us posted on how you're doing.   

 


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