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Author Topic: An Apology  (Read 1908 times)

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Offline Joe K

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An Apology
« on: October 07, 2010, 12:38:43 PM »
Dear Forum Members,

I want to apologize for my abhorrent behavior these past few days. I am trying a new medication to treat my PTSD and it appears that what it does best, is to make me a raving lunatic. As I read some of my recent posts, I am appalled by my actions and while it may be due to the drug, that is simply an explanation and never an excuse. I remain responsible for my actions and I am truly sorry for acting like a real jerk.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: An Apology
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2010, 12:48:39 PM »
Thank you for the apology, Joe, it is much appreciated.

I know first hand how some meds can change one's behaviour. Half the battle is recognising what's going on and then acting accordingly. You've done this, so kudos to you.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
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Re: An Apology
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2010, 01:31:21 PM »



   Nuff respect Joe.  (((HUGS)))
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline peteb

  • Member
  • Posts: 202
Re: An Apology
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2010, 02:02:31 PM »
HUGS  :) ;)

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,959
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: An Apology
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2010, 02:05:59 PM »
Love you Joe!
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: An Apology
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2010, 02:34:36 PM »
Dear Forum Members,

I want to apologize for my abhorrent behavior these past few days. I am trying a new medication to treat my PTSD and it appears that what it does best, is to make me a raving lunatic. As I read some of my recent posts, I am appalled by my actions and while it may be due to the drug, that is simply an explanation and never an excuse. I remain responsible for my actions and I am truly sorry for acting like a real jerk.

Joe, no need, I feel Ya!  I've been bouncing off walls too, my LORAZEPAM isn't working for me anymore
and I really need to get something else, like you I have Battled & Struggled w/ PTSD for a long time, Joe
here's a Big {{{HUG}}} you know were all here for ya, and you'll NEVER walk alone  :-*
« Last Edit: October 07, 2010, 02:38:14 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline john33

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Re: An Apology
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2010, 02:50:04 PM »
Joe here's hoping you get the medication issue sorted for your own peace of mindľ.

Joining everyone else in giving you a hug!!

John

Offline PeteNYNJ

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  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: An Apology
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2010, 03:30:45 PM »
It takes a big man to apologize and admit mistakes.  I hope you get the med situation figured out. 

I remember a few years back I went onto a new antidepressant (Effexor) that made me feel like a paranoid speed freak.  It was not very fun.

xo

Pete

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
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Re: An Apology
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2010, 10:44:01 PM »
When I see people I know or strangers go off and act bitchy, I try to think what may be going on in their lives.  I remember going off on my ex and friends years ago at a bar in front of many people.  It was a really bad scene.  I'm sure they all thought I was some crazy bitch.  My partner looked like the angel and I looked like the monster.  They didn't know I had been dealing with him cheating on me and the friends covering for him.

So, I try not to pass judgment on isolated events.  If they are always mean and bitchy, I suppose that is a different story.   

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: An Apology
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2010, 11:59:25 PM »
I figured something was going on that some of the typical foolishness on here was rattling your cage. I hope your meds get straightened out and you feel better. :) 

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: An Apology
« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2010, 01:20:07 AM »
Joe, I wish that I was, on my best day, as rational as you are on your worst.

You have all my admiration.

JK
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Hellraiser

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  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: An Apology
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2010, 02:03:50 AM »
I was really wondering what was going on with you.  While you tend to have no problem with confrontation it did seem to be getting out of hand.  I'm glad to have the old Joe back.

Offline Joe K

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Re: An Apology
« Reply #12 on: October 08, 2010, 01:09:43 PM »
Thank you all for your kind words. Having stopped the drug, I feel myself returning to normal and I just want to add a little something if I might. The reason I apologized is because I behaved badly and I have enough respect, for the members here, so that you deserved an apology. For me, the only way that I can be truly effective here, or anywhere, is to lead by example. I have no problem admitting my human foibles, as that is the string that binds us all. I like to believe, that others may witness my transgressions and apologies and realize that redemption is always possible and desirable.

I never claimed to be perfect and for me, an apology was my only option. Anything less would be unfaithful to the person that I know I am. Anything less would be an insult to the members here. Never underestimate the power of forgiveness, nor the power of saying "I'm sorry".

Offline Merlin

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Re: An Apology
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2010, 06:53:42 PM »
Joe, from your humility, goodwill and usual sensibility, you are already on the right drug-yourself !  :-*

Blessed Be ! Peace !  ;) ;D :)
I'll leave Hatred to those not strong enough to Love.

                            +++

Believe & The Power Of The Mind Transforms.
Make It Happen...

                            +++

I blame them for nothing.
I forgive them for everything.

---->> Mary J. Blige on dysfuctional parents

Offline Joe K

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Re: An Apology
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2010, 07:28:22 PM »
Joe, from your humility, goodwill and usual sensibility, you are already on the right drug-yourself !  :-*

Blessed Be ! Peace !  ;) ;D :)

Thank you Merlin. That is one of the nicest compliments that I have ever received.

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: An Apology
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2010, 07:38:17 PM »
Joe, what meds were you on? and if you don't mind sharing with me, in a public-open forum, you can always PM me, how did they make you feel, I'm currently on Lorazepam ,to treat my PTSD for  the last 8 yrs. but, Benzos aren't a very good choice, and they are no longer working out for me, so, I'm in the process of seeing my doctor and trying something a lot less harmful, problem is, I cannot do antidepressants, I've tried a lot of them before pre 2001-2002, and they just don't work on me, I ended up on a 72 hour-Mental-Health-Hold
due to taking antidepressants back then ???
« Last Edit: October 08, 2010, 07:52:06 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
Re: An Apology
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2010, 07:51:12 PM »
Hey Joe,

   I think that part of the reason why we come here is that over the years we have become a community. A community that sees past all of the occasional outbursts and snarkiness at times and really sees the true heart of the person.
  I admire your passion, your strength and your ability to express anger.  Thank you for being honest with your feelings. You are a good man.

Sharkie

 


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