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Author Topic: what have hiv done to your life?  (Read 7743 times)

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Offline sanitex

  • Member
  • Posts: 385
what have hiv done to your life?
« on: September 16, 2010, 12:16:13 AM »



  since i was diagnosed for hiv+ 20-12-2007 my whole life have changed
adding that i'm suffering from  anxiety disorder before i tested positive.

(1)hiv have destroyed my entire life
(2)hiv have change my travling  procedure
(3)hiv have destroyed most of my relationship with people
(4)hiv have made me look as if i'm alone
(5)hiv have putting my life in desperate condition and despair.
(6)hiv and anxiety  have made me to stop my exercise

so how about you?

27/12/07 cd4 20 vl 1million
10/4 /08 cd4 86 vl 63
1/7/08  cd4 186 vl undetectable
16/10/08 cd4 196 vl undet
23/1/09 cd4 248 vl un
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
13/12/11 cd4 410 vl undet 23%
24/2/12 cd4 545 vl undet 26%
on 22/2/12 change truvada to Recovir-EM
due to no stock on Truvada.
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
7/7/12 cd4 359 vl <40 22%
23/8/12 cd4 400 vl <40 23%,
testosterone test 7.5 ng/ml and
thyroid (TSH)1.32 ulu/ml creatinine.eGFR blck 1.5 all fasting test morning.
13/12/2012 cd4 523 24% vl <40
18/3/2013 cd4  513  23% vl <40
regimen ATRIPLA
03/8/2013 cd4 429 22% vl <40
13/11/2013 cd4 455 23% vl <40
Anti-HBs test (quantitative ) Anti-HBs positive
Titer 16.95 mlu/ml <10.00
22/3/14 cd4 396 vl <40 % 24
24/7/14 change to Teevir

Offline ad2san

  • Member
  • Posts: 186
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2010, 01:30:07 AM »
Hi Sanitex, sounds like depression to me. Go see a shrink.
Feb   2009 CD4 358 VL 2000 16%
May  2009 CD4 305 VL 3069  14% <---- Started TVD+ATZ/r
Jul  2009 CD4 512 VL <50   18%
Jul 2010 CD4 418 VL <50 24%                     
Switched to Kivexa (Epzicom) + Norvir + Reyataz (due to sleep problem)
Aug 2010 CD4 606 VL <50 25%
Apr 2011 CD4 523 UD 21%
Jul 2011 CD4 494 UD 23%
Switched to Kivexa (Epzicom) + Viramune XR (due to kidney problems)
January 2012 CD4 564 UD 31%
October 2012 CD4 684 UD 29%
January 2013 CD4 594 UD 26%
Switched to Kivexa (Epzicom) + Isentress due to BIG increase GammaGT
Feb 2013 CD4 699 UD 28%
May 2013 CD4 385 UD 28%
July 2013 CD4 CD4 636 UD 25%
Oct 2013 CD4 588 UD 39%

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,765
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2010, 01:44:45 AM »
I wouldn't say HIV has destroyed my entire life.  However, it has changed it and I continue to work on that.  It has mainly changed it by adding so much fear to my life.  Fear about every sniffle.  Fear about being around others who are sick.  Fear about germs.  We just had a water leak in the basement which is a finished basement and where our media room is or whatever you call it--where we watch TV.  The water caused mildew in the carpet.  I began wondering whether something like mildew could hurt me.  I would have never thought that before--black mold yes, but mildew, no.  

It has also changed my social habits.  We don't do the same things anymore.  We use to go to state parks and going hiking.  We would be out on the lake every weekend on the jet skis.  We have not been to the lake since I was diagnosed.  First, it is depression I think that makes me want to just stay home.  Second, I have this irrational fear that something will happen to me way out in the middle of no where and can't get medical attention.  I think this is due to getting sick with pneumonia and where I had to be rushed to the ER because I couldn't breathe.  I believe if I hadn't gotten sick before I was diagnosed, I would being dealing with all this fear better.  I wish I could say I quit smoking for health reasons only.  However, I quit because of an irrational fear that smoking would trigger some event where I couldn't breathe.  Messed up, huh?  Smoking is not good for the lungs, but a fear that it will trigger some immediate lung problem?  Earlier this year, I had so much fear about going on vacation.  We drove all the way to Florida and I had this fear something could happen so far away from home.  I hate those fears of noting where hospitals are on trips.  It isn't normal.  PTSD, no?    

There is something about all this anxiety.  I often wonder whether HIV itself (without knowing you have it) can cause this.  In the year leading up to my diagnosis, I began having all these panic attacks.  I would be at the store and have one.  I'm sure they thought I was suspicious with the shakey hands and sweating.  It got worse after diagnosis.  I'm trying to manage it and it has gotten better.  I hope I can get back to the old me and stop having all these irrational fears.  Of course I worry about living to an old age with good health.      

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,039
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2010, 03:11:00 AM »
San, could you consider going to the support group at anonymous clinic this Saturday?

Offline sanitex

  • Member
  • Posts: 385
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2010, 03:15:44 AM »
Hi Sanitex, sounds like depression to me.





ad2san,definitely i'll go and see them after i most have taking my dinner,but not
withstanding,i'm not deppressed but i found it difficult since i was diagnosed.
27/12/07 cd4 20 vl 1million
10/4 /08 cd4 86 vl 63
1/7/08  cd4 186 vl undetectable
16/10/08 cd4 196 vl undet
23/1/09 cd4 248 vl un
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
13/12/11 cd4 410 vl undet 23%
24/2/12 cd4 545 vl undet 26%
on 22/2/12 change truvada to Recovir-EM
due to no stock on Truvada.
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
7/7/12 cd4 359 vl <40 22%
23/8/12 cd4 400 vl <40 23%,
testosterone test 7.5 ng/ml and
thyroid (TSH)1.32 ulu/ml creatinine.eGFR blck 1.5 all fasting test morning.
13/12/2012 cd4 523 24% vl <40
18/3/2013 cd4  513  23% vl <40
regimen ATRIPLA
03/8/2013 cd4 429 22% vl <40
13/11/2013 cd4 455 23% vl <40
Anti-HBs test (quantitative ) Anti-HBs positive
Titer 16.95 mlu/ml <10.00
22/3/14 cd4 396 vl <40 % 24
24/7/14 change to Teevir

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2010, 03:17:51 AM »
We all die eventually.  Hiv put a focusing lens on the amount of time I was wasting not enjoying the sands falling through my hourglass.  I can understand being upset about your diagnosis, but at some point you have to start living your life again.

Offline BusyDame

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
  • It is my body so the battle to good health is mine
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2010, 04:11:33 AM »

There is something about all this anxiety.  I often wonder whether HIV itself (without knowing you have it) can cause this.       

I wonder too, but I also know that not knowing would cause me to wonder if I have it and whether am a danger to other people.

Has it destroyed my life? Am anxious most of the time about the unknown. Maybe socially because am exhausted most of the time physically and mentally. Careerwise I suffer from diminished brain power and should it become clear to those around me, my fear is how I will cope with not being a corporate woman in decision making. In my love life, I get approached but men seem to walk off as soon as I disclose, those who stick around do it for a short while not to make feel bad except I remain feeling bad anyway,  wow, makes me think of  a song by Don Carlos "Just a passing glance" is all I get. Sometimes I even erect a wall around me to protect myself from getting hurt, what a life.

Best of all, am managing my anxiety and getting timely medical help.

 
If you can't find someone on earth to love you at least love yourself dearly.

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2010, 06:56:06 AM »
I choose not to say that HIV has ruined my life. That seems a bit extreme.

But it for sure has changed my life. Life comes at us all, and knocks us down at times.. But isn't that what life is all about? Dealing with adversity, learning from the pain, picking yourself up and moving on.

Yes HIV has it's challenges. But it sure as hell beats Lou Gehrig disease, or liver and lung cancer.

It can always be worse. Maybe I'm wearing rose colored glasses. But maybe this view has given me hope. I'm still here, and grateful for every moment.

Positive since 1985

Offline natthai

  • Member
  • Posts: 130
  • The truth is not determined by majority vote.
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2010, 08:27:29 AM »
I don't know if this is appropriate or not but during the same week I got my diagnosis (a few months ago), my mom called and told me that one of my best friends from Kindergarten had just died of cancer. He was 28 years old and he was diagnosed 11 days before he died.

Although that may be somewhat morose, it has really put life into perspective for me. Some researchers now project that as many as 1/2 or 1/3 will develop cancer sometime in their life. Many of us may die from other things. In the meantime Hellraiser's advice is good. My diagnosis was a wake up call for me and I intend to appreciate every day.
Infection date: February 14, 2010 (yeah really)
08/03/2010 - CD4 621 (27%) VL 72,250
25/03/2010 - CD4 981 (28%) VL 122,719 <-started anti-oxidants (ABCDE, Se, ALA, NAC)
11/08/2010 - CD4 1,365 (31%) VL 5,451

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,100
  • 1DPxR156NnouErf4f51CsCMubMYw84j5Kv
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2010, 09:52:33 AM »
It's improved my life. It's sad that it took HIV to do that but "it is what it is".

 It's made me a kinder, gentler person. It's made me a better person to my family, and a better friend. I see things differently now. I'm not afraid to die (although I know I'm going to have a normal life-span).

It has made me more cognizant of my health, I'm much kinder to my body now.

The biggest change is to my social life, although my social life was previously filled with vices, so maybe that's not a bad change. I'm working on building a new and healthier social life.

Am i happy I have HIV? No. But I'm grateful for the positive improvements it has bestowed on me.

I have alot to look forward to, and there are great things in store for me.

There are great things in store for you also Sanitex, and for all of us.


-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline LoboDog

  • Member
  • Posts: 78
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2010, 10:08:11 AM »
I had the joy of being told that I have AIDS at the same time that I was told that I have HIV.

Things that is has done...
1. Caused me to take better care of my self.
2. Caused me to take medicine.
3. Caused me to take a different look at death and living. We are all unsignificant blips on the radar of humanity. 50 years after we are gone, most of us won't be remembered.
4. Caused me to appreciate the good things in my life and to avoid the bad... We won't live forever.

I agree with other people posting to this thread. You need to talk about your feelings on HIV. The disease has probably shaved a few years off your life, but you are not dead now. You can either live dreading the fact you have this disease, or you can live enjoying everything that you can do.

I used to work in an office with a guy that had severe birth defects. He was a very sharp guy with a deformed body. He had a hard time walking, and definately had a hard time in the romance department. He lives a happier life than most people I know becauase he concentrates on the cool stuff he can do.

Good luck to you...

Hey Sanitex... I just looked at your stats and at your original post. You are healthy. Some of the symptoms in your post may be caused by meds (anxiety for example) but most are in your head. You really should seek therapy in a group setting or one on one. There is no reason to go through life depressed if you can avoid it. Finding faults in ourselves and the way we think about ourselves can be difficult... All the same, you don't want to stay in the rut you are in.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2010, 10:33:03 AM by LoboDog »

Offline newt

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,877
  • the one and original newt
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2010, 04:26:15 PM »
Led me to a life of poz-on-poz only no-condom hot sex, treatment activism, the best people, sobriety and good health thanks to ARVs, I cannot ask for more. - matt
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline numbersguy82

  • Member
  • Posts: 292
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2010, 06:40:43 PM »
I'm a Newbie but thus far HIV has radically changed my life. Pre-Diagnosis I was in a downward spiral of self pity and depression after my BF left me for a 20 y/o. My self esteem was shot and I was down and out.

HIV for me has:

(1) Made me realize I need to take care of myself and also accept myself faults and mistakes and all
(2) Live life to the fullest no matter what the circumstances
(3) Finally find purpose in life. Before I was just existing instead of living, and now I want to actually LIVE
(4) Most importantly it has made me a better Brother, Friend, and fellow citizen. We only get one shot and I'd rather be remembered fondly as a kind heart and caring soul versus as someone that was broken and defeated and just gave up!

It sounds like some things are not so good for the OP and I really hope you find a balance and inner peace. No matter what spin you put on this disease good or bad its just that a disease. It doesn't have to define you or rule your happiness. It afflicts you, and you are still in charge...
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 23,900
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #13 on: September 16, 2010, 06:44:25 PM »
HIV has made me a loving, caring person void of bitterness.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,959
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #14 on: September 16, 2010, 06:45:09 PM »
HIV has made me a loving, caring person void of bitterness.
;D
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,699
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #15 on: September 16, 2010, 06:56:11 PM »



   HIV gave me really bad gas all the time.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #16 on: September 16, 2010, 07:02:03 PM »
 HIV has got me on the wellfare .

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #17 on: September 16, 2010, 07:04:47 PM »
HIV has made me a lovinglusty, caring person ravenous bottom void of filled with bitterness.

Fixed.

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #18 on: September 16, 2010, 07:09:25 PM »
Fixed.

I was a bitter bottom way before HIV came into the picture. 

If any of you let a little ole virus change your personality then you're just not the girls I thought you were.



Also, when you're eventually reincarnated remember to wear a rubber, OK?
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline eric48

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  • Posts: 1,117
  • @HIVPharmaCure & tinyurl.com/HIVPharmaCure
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #19 on: September 16, 2010, 07:16:25 PM »
I was considering myself a very happy man. (and a survivor of those times)

The + test was  a shock, I am still suffering from (residual anxiety).

But , however strange it may sound, I think I back on track and going to be even more happy than ever before. And may be bit more willing to bring/share happiness with others

Cheers

Eric

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2010, 07:23:48 PM »
Led me to a life of poz-on-poz only no-condom hot sex, treatment activism, the best people, sobriety and good health thanks to ARVs, I cannot ask for more. - matt

Words of wisdom.

I can't say that I have changed because of HIV (no microscopic bug is gonna define me or turn me into a better --or worse-- person).

There have been a couple of changes however that I can thank teh AIDS for:

1. Getting out of a dreadful relationship with an emotional pirate.
2. Becoming friends with some wonderful individuals whom I probably would've never met otherwise.
3. Being more careful about my health in general.

And that's that. It is what you make of it.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2010, 07:25:39 PM by Rev. Moon »
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline tommy246

  • member
  • Member
  • Posts: 435
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #21 on: September 17, 2010, 08:38:10 AM »
HIV made me stop drinking heavily, stop taking coke, join a gym, eat healthier, feel healthier, get my marraige back on track, spend quality time with my young daughter, clear out all the deadwood from my life and take full control again, and fully appreciate life again as i was in a downward depressed unhealthy spiral.
So for me all good.
jan 06 neg
dec 08 pos cd4 505 ,16%, 1,500vl
april 09 cd4 635 ,16%,60,000
july 09 ,cd4 545,17%,80,000
aug 09,hosptal 18days pneumonia cd190,225,000,15%
1 week later cd4 415 20%
nov 09 cd4 591 ,vl 59,000,14%,started atripla
dec 09  cd4 787, vl 266, 16%
march 2010  cd4 720 vl non detectable -20  20%
june 2010  cd4  680, 21%, ND

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #22 on: September 17, 2010, 10:55:42 AM »
Hiv made me focus on my health... and it really made me a more loving, caring person... plus I've brushed my skills up on VooDoo! ok its just a hobbie but, its something I enjoy! Hexes and spells just come natural? lol

Offline metekrop

  • Member
  • Posts: 353
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #23 on: September 17, 2010, 11:13:54 AM »
I think it makes me hard worker.  I feel I am running short of time.  I have two jobs.  I work seven days a week and fourteen hours a day.  Getting and saving some money to a child whom I brought into this world.  :D
Diag on Dec 8, 2000, CD 440 VL 44K, No Meds
Dec/08 - Feb/09 CD< 50 & VL >500k hosp'z.
St. Atripla - July/09 CD 179, VL 197k
Oct/09 CD 300 VL UD Chol 267
Mar/10 CD 468 UD, Ch 220
Aug/10 CD 460 UD, Ch 195
Dec/10 CD 492 UD, Ch 172
Mar/11 CD 636 UD, Ch 201
Aug/11 CD 530 UD, Ch 98
Jan/12 cd 616 UD, ch 189
Jul/12 CD 640 UD, Ch ?
Dec/12 CD 669 Ud, Ch 125
May/7 CD711 Ud, Ch?
Nov/ 22 663 UD, Ch,
April 17 CD 797, UD

Offline natthai

  • Member
  • Posts: 130
  • The truth is not determined by majority vote.
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #24 on: September 17, 2010, 12:15:49 PM »
I lost my boyfreind/partner because of my infection.

At first he was very supportive, went to the clinic with me and helped me get though the acute phase but afterward he started to drift away. First he implemented a very strict no sex policy (everything- even protected). He was very scared of any fluids (tears, saliva everything). If I would touch or kiss around his eye he would freak out.

This later turned into a no intimacy policy (no kissing, no touching, no drinking form the same glass etc). I could see that just touching his neck repulsed him. I was craving intimacy and he was rejecting everything.

After this he started to resent having to take care of me when I was emotionally weak during times and any help I would ask of him turned into a big fight. For example, if I needed his help to translate something he would accuse me of being weak. This was very hard, I didn't know what I could do.

We were an intercultural relationship so there were already a lot of obstacles but this issue was just too much for him.

Sadly, he was the best match I ever had in my life. We had a great emotional/intellectual/spiritual bond but the infection vetoed everything else. It literally became the only issue and I have become not a person or boyfriend but a disease.

The funny thing is that he is a pharmacist, very well educated, works for Merck and is very familiar with HIV, Meds, infection routes, risky behavior etc. He has infectious disease textbook with thousands of pages but none of this "textbook" knowledge could overcome his psychological fear of somehow becoming infected.
Infection date: February 14, 2010 (yeah really)
08/03/2010 - CD4 621 (27%) VL 72,250
25/03/2010 - CD4 981 (28%) VL 122,719 <-started anti-oxidants (ABCDE, Se, ALA, NAC)
11/08/2010 - CD4 1,365 (31%) VL 5,451

Offline natthai

  • Member
  • Posts: 130
  • The truth is not determined by majority vote.
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #25 on: September 17, 2010, 12:20:48 PM »
Led me to a life of poz-on-poz only no-condom hot sex

I am confused, can you not get reinfected with poz-on-poz only no-condom sex? I thought I read something about a super strain you can get this way?
Infection date: February 14, 2010 (yeah really)
08/03/2010 - CD4 621 (27%) VL 72,250
25/03/2010 - CD4 981 (28%) VL 122,719 <-started anti-oxidants (ABCDE, Se, ALA, NAC)
11/08/2010 - CD4 1,365 (31%) VL 5,451

Offline leatherman

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  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #26 on: September 17, 2010, 01:49:44 PM »
HIV/AIDS totally destroyed my life; but since it wasn't able to kill me,
I've had time to regain/rebuild much of my life that I was stolen away.

AIDS killed off all my friends
AIDS caused me to lose my job and ability to work
AIDS made me puke everyday
AIDS made me have to fight off homelessness 3 times
AIDS put me in the hospital twice and nearly took my life
and worst of all
AIDS took the lives of not one but two long-term partners.

so
I made new friends
I got onto better meds
I haven't puked but twice in two years
I got healthier and was able to work some part time
I got healthier and have been able to volunteer my time working with my ASO
I moved back to my home town area to be with my family after 25 yrs
I haven't been back in the hospital in nearly 13 yrs
and best of all
I'm healthier than I've been in the nearly 20 years since I was diagnosed and I can hardly remember (only cause I try really hard to not remember) all those miserable years (a decade) I spent very sick with AIDS and very near death.

as I've said numerous times, the only thing you can't fix is death.
everything else can, at least, be made better it not fixed outright; but it takes hard work and patience.

You have to want things to be better, you have to work to make them better,
and you usually have to wait to reap the benefits of that hard work.

cheers sanitex. ;D Wait till you've lived with this bug another 15 or 20 years. ;) At some point, you'll learn to take it all in stride and will work around the problems that HIV throws in your way
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline leatherman

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  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #27 on: September 17, 2010, 01:56:40 PM »
I thought I read something about a super strain you can get this way?
you might want to check out this thread question on superinfection or do a search on this site about "superinfection". So far the documented cases of "superinfection" do not seem to be of pozzies who have been UD long-term and have adhered to their regimen. Those that have gotten other "strains" (HIV resisitance to certain meds) have been those having unprotected sex with high VL and not on treatment. As mentioned several times, IF poz-on-poz unprotected sex by UD people led to superinfection, it would be a huge problem here 30 yrs after the start of the epidemic. The fact that so many here have had unprotected serosorted sex without having medical failure shows that superinfection is not a common incident. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline sanitex

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #28 on: September 17, 2010, 11:46:34 PM »


   Thank to  you guys for your wonderful and courageous replies  my heart
is fill with joy now, i belive we'll all withness with our two eyes and hear with
our ears that there's cure.


27/12/07 cd4 20 vl 1million
10/4 /08 cd4 86 vl 63
1/7/08  cd4 186 vl undetectable
16/10/08 cd4 196 vl undet
23/1/09 cd4 248 vl un
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
13/12/11 cd4 410 vl undet 23%
24/2/12 cd4 545 vl undet 26%
on 22/2/12 change truvada to Recovir-EM
due to no stock on Truvada.
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
7/7/12 cd4 359 vl <40 22%
23/8/12 cd4 400 vl <40 23%,
testosterone test 7.5 ng/ml and
thyroid (TSH)1.32 ulu/ml creatinine.eGFR blck 1.5 all fasting test morning.
13/12/2012 cd4 523 24% vl <40
18/3/2013 cd4  513  23% vl <40
regimen ATRIPLA
03/8/2013 cd4 429 22% vl <40
13/11/2013 cd4 455 23% vl <40
Anti-HBs test (quantitative ) Anti-HBs positive
Titer 16.95 mlu/ml <10.00
22/3/14 cd4 396 vl <40 % 24
24/7/14 change to Teevir

Offline natthai

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #29 on: September 18, 2010, 06:47:14 AM »
you might want to check out this thread question on superinfection or do a search on this site about "superinfection". So far the documented cases of "superinfection" do not seem to be of pozzies who have been UD long-term and have adhered to their regimen. Those that have gotten other "strains" (HIV resisitance to certain meds) have been those having unprotected sex with high VL and not on treatment. As mentioned several times, IF poz-on-poz unprotected sex by UD people led to superinfection, it would be a huge problem here 30 yrs after the start of the epidemic. The fact that so many here have had unprotected serosorted sex without having medical failure shows that superinfection is not a common incident. ;)

Thank you very much leatherman for that info. I was totally unaware of these issues! Thank you for the link as well I will start to research and educate myself about this specific topic.

I am glad I had the courage to ask and I am also thankful that you gave me such a considered answer. I have seem some noobs asking innocent but sincere questions and they have received some off-putting smart a&%, sarcastic remarks. So again I would like to thank you publicly for your kind answer.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2010, 06:52:18 AM by natthai »
Infection date: February 14, 2010 (yeah really)
08/03/2010 - CD4 621 (27%) VL 72,250
25/03/2010 - CD4 981 (28%) VL 122,719 <-started anti-oxidants (ABCDE, Se, ALA, NAC)
11/08/2010 - CD4 1,365 (31%) VL 5,451

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #30 on: September 18, 2010, 12:25:35 PM »
What HAS HIV done to my life?

I've been poz most of my life now. In fact I don't really remember being neg.  I saw two choices: self-destruction (as my high school boyfriend did) or keep on trying to live and pursue my goals. Fortunately I chose the later and even more miraculously I survived.

Offline elf

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #31 on: September 20, 2010, 03:47:06 PM »
HIV made me stigmatized.
It made me feel how people can be cruel and ignorant.
In a way it opened my eyes.
Now I'm alone, but proudly alone.
Let's have a Kiki!

Offline Rev. Moon

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  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #32 on: September 20, 2010, 03:52:22 PM »
Now I'm alone, but proudly alone.

You go, boy.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline BKNYLivin

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #33 on: September 28, 2010, 04:42:41 PM »
HIV has made me more patient and sensitive to the frailty of others.

HIV has made me make more time for myself (and enjoy it).

HIV has stigmatized me and made me anxious about dating (working on it).

As a result of testing positive, my sex life has dwindled down to 2-4 times a year.

Testing HIV positive has made me experience some of the best sex in my life, but also confirm that anonymous sex (for me) is so overrated (which might seem contradictory).

HIV has made me more health conscious and lead a healthier life (apart from not working out as much as I did pre-diagnosis).

Living with HIV has made it very clear to me what true friendship means and made me a better friend.

HIV has made me less willing to have selfish, self-absorbed, or extremely dysfunctional people, regardless of HIV status, around me (coz I find it too draining)

HIV has sent me to the hospital a few times and made me appreciate my own cooking so much more.

HIV made me appreciate life and the city I live in (NYC) so much more.

HIV has made my dislike for generalizations stronger(even though I'm guilty of generalizing sometimes) - my experience is not necessarily yours and vice versa, but both are valid, especially when it comes to living with this virus. 
Diagnosed 9/18/06
10/13/06 - CD4:449, 33%,  VL:>500,000
11/20/06 - CD4: 392  VL:425,000
02/08/07 - CD4: 361, 16.9% VL:133,000
02/13/07 - Started HAART: Atripla
03/08/07 - CD4:401, 23.8% VL:643
06/05/07 - CD4:614, 33.6% VL:225
09/14/07 - CD4:612, 37%  VL: <50
12/14/07 - CD4:582, 38.5% VL:<50
4/11/08 - CD4: 658, VL: <50
3/5/09 - CD4: 847, 49% VL: <50
7/29/09 - CD4: 965, 50.1% VL: <50
12/28/09 - CD4: 925, 49.2% vl <50
9/16/10 - CD4: 1011 vl: <50

Offline trinipoz

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  • Just being me
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #34 on: September 28, 2010, 10:45:07 PM »
For me personally, it has brought both good and bad things. I am definitely more focused on what I want to do, where I want to go and how I am going to get there. However I have grown weary of people and the wall around me has gotten much thicker.
In other words, it has brought about significant growth in some aspects of my life but has a lot stunted me in others
O. Kayo
Surviving the medication, stress and stigma of HIV since 6th December 2006

Offline scottish

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #35 on: September 29, 2010, 05:13:27 AM »
well it seems i am alone..................................as in my life day in day out...i am not hiv+ ...i'm me and thats it.......i decided not to let it ruin my life i was 23yrs old in love and just got our first house, working hard and getting on....i wanted my own business, i wanted a farmhouse and some land for my dogs  and horses, i wanted a nice car ......and i went and got it.........................the only regret was NO KIDS..but things have changed and maybe im passed my best at 42 but my husband and i have decided to try for a child....so no it didnt ruin my life....i am inpatient , i want things now, i dont have time for losers or non-tryers..........i have possibly the most scary disease ever but until i step foot in that hospital clinic i am not poz...........and when i am at the clinic it seems like a lifetime..........so everyone deals with things in their own way..i didnt expect to still be here and thinking about growing old .....i have what i want and intend on keeping it...grow old gracefully and thank god i wasnt weak.

Offline Jayad

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  • Posts: 26
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #36 on: September 29, 2010, 11:21:53 AM »
All HIV has done to me is make me more health conscious and keeps me from making mistakes that I did in the past.  I feel i am healthier now as an HIV+ person then I was as an HIV- person.  I am lucky to have gotten HIV in 2010 and not in 1980.  As a previous poster said, there are a lot worse diseases to get, like lung cancer or Lou Gehrig disease.  The old saying even works here, 'every cloud had a silver lining."  There is always someone worse off then you just remember that.  I don't let HIV consume me, and the few people that know i have HIV have said it seems to have not affected me one bit.  I'm healthy and able bodied, i am going to enjoy my health now because who knows what HIV is going to bring to the table for me.  I have only had it a very short time!

April 21, 2010-Tested Positive
May 26, 2010-CD4-692 (39%) VL 17100. No Meds.
September 8, 2010-CD4-551 (37%) VL 10241 Still no Meds
Found to have resistance to Videx, Rescriptor, Sustiva, Viramune, Viracept.
December 1, 2010-CD4-476 (34%) VL 38000.
December 5, 2010-Started Combivir.
January 13, 2011-No CD4 Count Done. VL 190!!!!!!
January 15, 2011-Started Viread and Intelence
Feb 15, 2011-Undetectable!!!
April 15, 2011-CD4 898 (43.4%) U/D

Offline Cliff

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #37 on: September 29, 2010, 05:17:00 PM »
Life post-HIV has turned out alright.  I guess thinking about mortality made me think about things I normally would have ignored.  That ultimately led to me leaving Texas and eventually the US, plus changing gears on my career.  Not sure I would have done all those things had it not been for the diagnosis in 2003.  Too bad it takes these type of events to refocus your life. 

I could do without the pills, disclosures, tests, etc...but hey ho, all and all I've got no complaints.

Offline OneTampa

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  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #38 on: September 29, 2010, 10:36:35 PM »
It makes me move and pause in life with more purpose and appreciation.

 
« Last Edit: September 29, 2010, 10:38:45 PM by OneTampa »
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline David_CA

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  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #39 on: September 29, 2010, 10:49:06 PM »
I certainly don't like the fact that I'm HIV+, but I think I have a better life post diagnosis.  I have met some of the most amazing people and become friends with them.  I've certainly had the best sex of my life without fear of HIV (though fully aware of other STD's).  I've become more aware of my health and take better care of myself.  I'm much closer to my family and close friends.  In fact, I don't think I've lost but maybe one since diagnosis, and I have the feeling that he may have infected me, but I really don't know.  Overall, I really can't complain about much at all. 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline sanitex

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  • Posts: 385
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #40 on: September 30, 2010, 04:43:11 AM »



           certainly discloure of my status to my elder brother and sister was a very big mistake to me
 during my diagnosis,now i want to tell them that after i must have taken my medicatin that cost
me almost 25000usd for six months they recheck my blood and everything was clear according to my doctor.
why i said this was my family still uncivilized and they do not know anything concerning hiv so that
the stigmazation will reduce from them untill good news appear.since i was diagnosed 2007 three years
by now they have not seen me because i live in thaiiland planing to visit my cuntry during chrismas time .
what do you think?
27/12/07 cd4 20 vl 1million
10/4 /08 cd4 86 vl 63
1/7/08  cd4 186 vl undetectable
16/10/08 cd4 196 vl undet
23/1/09 cd4 248 vl un
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
13/12/11 cd4 410 vl undet 23%
24/2/12 cd4 545 vl undet 26%
on 22/2/12 change truvada to Recovir-EM
due to no stock on Truvada.
10/9/11 cd4 418 vl <40 %22
7/7/12 cd4 359 vl <40 22%
23/8/12 cd4 400 vl <40 23%,
testosterone test 7.5 ng/ml and
thyroid (TSH)1.32 ulu/ml creatinine.eGFR blck 1.5 all fasting test morning.
13/12/2012 cd4 523 24% vl <40
18/3/2013 cd4  513  23% vl <40
regimen ATRIPLA
03/8/2013 cd4 429 22% vl <40
13/11/2013 cd4 455 23% vl <40
Anti-HBs test (quantitative ) Anti-HBs positive
Titer 16.95 mlu/ml <10.00
22/3/14 cd4 396 vl <40 % 24
24/7/14 change to Teevir

Offline BJS2011

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  • Posts: 62
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #41 on: May 26, 2011, 05:59:48 AM »


  since i was diagnosed for hiv+ 20-12-2007 my whole life have changed
adding that i'm suffering from  anxiety disorder before i tested positive.

(1)hiv have destroyed my entire life
(2)hiv have change my travling  procedure
(3)hiv have destroyed most of my relationship with people

(4)hiv have made me look as if i'm alone
(5)hiv have putting my life in desperate condition and despair.
(6)hiv and anxiety  have made me to stop my exercise

so how about you?


HIV has taken my energy, my trust in people, my appetite, my love of life, my social skills among many others. I wouldn't say its wrecked my life but sure has made it difficult to enjoy it.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #42 on: May 26, 2011, 08:18:19 AM »


  since i was diagnosed for hiv+ 20-12-2007 my whole life have changed
adding that i'm suffering from  anxiety disorder before i tested positive.

(1)hiv have destroyed my entire life
(2)hiv have change my travling  procedure
(3)hiv have destroyed most of my relationship with people
(4)hiv have made me look as if i'm alone
(5)hiv have putting my life in desperate condition and despair.
(6)hiv and anxiety  have made me to stop my exercise

so how about you?

I am sad to hear HIV has been so devastating to your life.

Since you put this in its own thread, can you share some of the context?

How is your health these days?

Can you figure out a solution for the future for the cost of your medicine?

To answer the question -  for the negatives:

Getting infected with the virus cost me a fair amount of money.  
it made me sick for a few months when I first got infected.
it caused a lot of anxiety
it made me scared
it made me want to isolate myself (but I am working against this pressure)

HIV affected my life in negative ways many times before I got infected, too.

Also, there are many changes that are neither positive nor negative - just a lot of work.

And there are some real benefits that I decided to take from getting infected.

« Last Edit: May 26, 2011, 08:21:01 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #43 on: May 26, 2011, 08:26:10 AM »


           certainly discloure of my status to my elder brother and sister was a very big mistake to me
 during my diagnosis,now i want to tell them that after i must have taken my medicatin that cost
me almost 25000usd for six months they recheck my blood and everything was clear according to my doctor.
why i said this was my family still uncivilized and they do not know anything concerning hiv so that
the stigmazation will reduce from them untill good news appear.since i was diagnosed 2007 three years
by now they have not seen me because i live in thaiiland planing to visit my cuntry during chrismas time .
what do you think?

Did you tell them that you are "cured" (all is clear).  Do they think you are cured of HIV now?
I understand that they are ignorant about HIV but I don't think it helps you to mislead them, even if it makes it easier for them to accept you.

I hope that you visit them at Christmas this year and that you can teach them some more about HIV.  Its a good idea to explain that your HIV is "sleeping" and does not effect your daily life.  That can help everyone find the space to learn more about the virus. 

Also I hope they will eventually come to understand how brave you are, and that the virus is just a virus.  And just love you for the family member that you are.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #44 on: May 26, 2011, 08:35:39 AM »
Also, 25,000 USD for 6 months???  Do you mean 2500 US dollars.

 If you have no insurance, you should be buying GENERIC HIV drugs, not name brand.  There is no reason to spend 5000 USD a month on brand name.  Few combos of 3 drugs cost 5,000 a month even for brand name.  30 days of name brand "ATRIPLA" is 1-2000 dollars.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2011, 08:37:40 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #45 on: May 26, 2011, 08:40:05 AM »
Life for me has changed radically.  Like others here have stated, being HIV positive has caused me to try and take better care of myself.  I do not want to post ad nauseam about the horrible days when I was hospitalized with PCP Pneumonia, so I will focus on the better changes HIV forced on me.

1) HIV caused me to come out to my family. 
2) HIV caused me to halt the careless sexual activities I was engaged in.
3) HIV caused me to realize that being healthy is not to be taken for granted.

We choose to either accept it and deal with this virus or not.  Life may be different now but is certainly still worth living. 


Offline spacebarsux

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  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #46 on: May 26, 2011, 10:03:03 AM »
HIV has made me think about it 24/7 since my diagnosis. Its also made me completely apathetic and indifferent to things and people around me on certain days; and conversely appreciate things and people around me in ways I'd never done before on other days.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline spacebarsux

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  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #47 on: May 26, 2011, 10:05:24 AM »
Oh yes, and HIV has given me my first dose of 'depression'. I had no idea how awful it can be.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #48 on: May 26, 2011, 10:08:25 AM »
it's made me have an appreciation of ZOMBIE movies  (as well as zombie threads)

Offline AlanBama

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  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: what have hiv done to your life?
« Reply #49 on: May 26, 2011, 10:27:56 AM »
What's up with these Zombie threads?   ???

and how are you doing Sharkie?   Hope life is treating you well, my friend....

 :-*
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

 


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