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Author Topic: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper  (Read 2023 times)

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Offline C130Jumper

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Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« on: October 20, 2011, 06:38:21 AM »
Hi Ann and Andy-

Just wanted to say right off the bat, great site you all have here. I really have taken comfort in some of your responses and worked up the courage to post my own dilemma. I am a soldier (ya a crazy one who jumps out of planes), but last night I lost my bearing and acted on an impulse. Here is the scoop: I met up with this guy, chatted a bit, and then I massaged his penis for about 2-3 hours. No oral, no anal, and no kissing at all: Just my rubbing on his junk. I kept my clothes on the entire time and he had everything on as well (I just reached my hand inside his shorts). He also never ejaculated, just had a lot of pre-cum. I have a few questions if you donít mind, because once I got home and the blood flow went back to my ďbig head,Ē I freaked.

1. Can feeling a guyís penis for 2-3 hours make it possible to catch HIV? I know he had some pre-cum and I got it on my hand a little (I felt it). When I got home I noticed my hands were dry and cracked from the cold. Actually so much that it looked like a fresh paper-cut. There was no blood, but definitely redness and you could see some reddish/pink inside the cut. Do these little cuts matter, especially since its possible pre-cum was on it? I didnt get to wash my hands till about an hour after the encounter, when I went home.

2. After I was touching his penis (and pre-cum obviously) I had an itch on my lip, and like a bonehead I scratched it. The problem is that I have a really nasty zit on my lip that I popped right before I went to meet him. It looks like a coldsore on the upper part of my lip, but its actually a pimple. Because It was recently popped is why I didnít suck him, but could my hand wiping around it cause pre-cum to possibly infect it?

3. Finally, (sorry Iím long winded)- his penis at one point got real close to my face (and my nasty lip sore/pimple), maybe about 3-6 inches away, but it didnít actually touch. Is there still a risk with that?

Sorry for the long post, I really appreciate what you all do here. Maybe Iím being a pinhead for overreacting but thatís just me. Thanks again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2011, 06:41:43 AM »
At no time did you ever have an exposure. HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

Offline Ann

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2011, 08:09:10 AM »
Jumper,

You absolutely did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, mutual masturbation is NOT a risk, not even if you have cuts on your hands. He could have cum all over your hands and you still would not have been at risk.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER MUTUAL MASTURBATION, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline C130Jumper

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2011, 06:27:33 PM »
Thanks so much for the replies. I really appreciate the time you took to address my problem and in such detail. Just a quick follow up, if you dont mind. When I woke up this morning, I noticed the cut on my finger was very red and split open a bit. Inside I could see a few small scabs. Obviously, this seems to suggest that the cut was deeper than I originally thought. I know it wasnt actively bleeding when I jerked him, but it was probably still open. Does this change anything? In my world, it seems that pre-cum getting into an open wound would cause infection. Can the HIV virus be rendered uninfectable that easy once it hits the air? It would have to be instant. Regardless, knowing the cut was more significant: is testing warranted?

Offline Ann

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2011, 07:04:13 PM »
Jumper,


In my world, it seems that pre-cum getting into an open wound would cause infection.


No, even with the further details, you did not have a risk for hiv infection. Not in your world or mine - and not in the real world either, for that matter. 

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline C130Jumper

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2011, 04:27:19 AM »
Ann and Rod:

Thanks again for the replies, they really alleviated my anxiety. Unfortunately, four days later, I am back again with another dilema. I promise, after this issue is resolved, I will not come back; I dont want to annoy you guys anymore. Anyway, I met a guy and we decided to have alittle fun back at his place. I'll give you the details below and number them, so it makes it easier to give me your wisdom.

1. Basically kissed (made out, open mouth with tongue) on and off all night, slept for a few hours, woke up and kissed more.
2. Slept cuddling
3. We gave each other unprotected oral sex.
4. This gets a bit strange, I was wearing his undies while I masturbated inside them. He then got on top of me and masturbated. His semen landed on the undies, which I was wearing, right on top of the spot where I had cum. (so he basically came on me but on the undies I was wearing).
5. My biggest concern is when we cleaned up. While he was showering I looked at my teeth in the mirror. I have a history of receding gums and when I checked them they were kinda red. There was definitely a small stream of blood around my gum line at the front of my bottom row. I used a tissue to blot the area and a small pinkish spot of blood appeared. Of course, I wasnt hemorrhaging blood, like I was punched in the face, but there was definitely a small visible quantity. Being that I gave him oral twice and tasted pre-cum, should I be worried about this? Would testing or some other reactionary measures be necessary? I've read where bleeding gums can increase the risk of giving oral, but I'm not sure if these sites are accurate. Being at his place I was unable to use mouthwash or brush for quite awhile. Although, I didnt think that was a big deal as I am sure neither would have made any difference in killing hiv. Thanks so much Ann, Andy and Rod.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2011, 04:42:48 AM »
Under NO circumstances do any of the activities you mention pose any risk for HIV.

PLEASE wear a condom for penetrative anal/vaginal sex. If you do that (and don't share IV drug needles) you will avoid HIV.

Other STDs are far more easy to catch. HIV is one of the hardest to get.

And yes, I read your entire post. Please understand. The purpose of this forum is to give HIV transmission information and avoid infections - which means erring on the side of caution. If we thought that your activities posed a risk to you or possibly others, we would certainly urge you to test.

But you do NOT need to test over this situation.

I would, however, work on your dental health. Not for HIV sake, but for your future teeth and gums.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline C130Jumper

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #7 on: October 24, 2011, 03:34:28 PM »
So, the bleeding gums would have to be more significant than mine? The lessons page talked about a few documented cases coming from the person giving the oral. I am guessing these cases involved a much more significant amount of open wound, if in fact they actually were true oral cases. Regardless, no need to test?

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2011, 07:16:20 AM »
Jumper,

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline C130Jumper

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2011, 08:17:18 AM »
Ann,

Thanks again for the reply. I'm judging by the comment (and other posts I read in which you gave more detailed advice) that bleeding gums make no difference when giving oral sex to another guy. I will definitely take your advice to heart and not worry about genital touching and mutual masturbation even if I have a cut on the hand, nor will I worry about giving oral if my gums bleed alittle. Rest assured I will NEVER have unprotected anal sex. Thanks so much for all your help in kicking a bonehead like me in the ass.

jkinatl2,

I hope you read this message because I want to be grown up about it, admit I was a pinhead and apologize to you. When I read your reply I posted again for clarification because I wasn't real sure who you were or what expertise you had. After I posted, I went back and checked some of the previous comments you made and found I could trust you when you said I was in no danger with the bleeding gums (or other stuff I mentioned). You take the time to answer each question thoroughly and with a great deal of intelligence. The way you articulate what you saying is clear, yet provides a great deal of information. I am confident in your advice, just I am with Ann's, Rod's, and Andy's. Thank you so much for the explanation.

Offline C130Jumper

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #10 on: November 01, 2011, 03:45:39 AM »
Hey folks,

Just a quick question. My partner and I became a bit startled last night. We spent the evening kissing and licking each others bodies. He was in boxers and a tshirt, while I was in my jeans. The concern is that once I got home and showered I noticed my chest, where I had shaved earlier that night, was red and inflamed. The razor burn was very bad and very painful. Could the frottage with kissing and licking cause infection through such severe razor burn? Thanks!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2011, 04:00:45 AM »
Again, NO RISK.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2011, 04:10:43 AM »
If there were ANY caveats to the whole "no risk" situation thing we would NOT call it "no risk"

I doubt your fevered mind can even PLACE a caveat on sexual activity other then penetrative vaginal or anal sex that would raise a red flag.

Well, unless you are a serial killer, in which case you are on your own.

Hell, even unprotected sex with a KNOWN HIV positive person is considered Low Risk if the person is on meds and his viral load is undetectable.

HIV is NOT easy to get. It takes work.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline C130Jumper

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2011, 04:13:33 PM »
Sorry, not a serial killer. Just a pretty worried guy, whose for the first time exploring intimacy with a positive guy. It's very new for us both, so we have a lot of concerns. I've never had razor irritation this bad before, especially after a sexual encounter. Because it was fresh, I was just concerned that his bodily fluids may have been able to come in contact with it and cause infection.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Ann and Andy, A Salute from a Worried Jumper
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2011, 04:21:27 PM »
I urge you to read our lessons section on transmission. Use a condom consistently and correctly for ansl sex and you will avoid. HIV. It really is that simple.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

 


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