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Author Topic: Can you help me with this please?  (Read 2355 times)

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Offline stressed and worried guy

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Can you help me with this please?
« on: August 30, 2010, 10:19:35 AM »
Dear experts,

First of all, i would like to express my deepest  thanks to the great job that you have been doing on this site on educating people about this epidemic so far.

I’d highly appreciate if you could kindly assess the risk of  my encounters …as am feeling so stressed , worried and nervous now...

Am a bi-guy and  this really first MSM sex I had with a guy of  an unknown status was about 3 weeks ago and here are my encounters:

1. Unprotected oral sex: I was given a blowjob  but am not sure if he’s got a sore or wound or bleeding gum in his mouth or not…( I felt so scared after that as I read some information on other websites saying oral sex is at  a low risk). I did not suck him nor ejeculate into his mouth.  However, I had two sessions of being given a blowjob( about less than 10 minutes each): the first one is before the guy ejeculated and the second  is after he ejeculated which worries me most. After the first blowjob session, this guy tasted his cum on his belly and less than 20 minutes later he went on suking my pennis. What fears me here is  are there any residuals of cum in his mouth that may cause the infection?

2. Then i got rimmed by his tongue and fingers  touching my anus. Im not sure if there was blood on his tongue or any cut in his fingers.


3. We had  a lot of deep French kisses and i sometimes have a problem of bleeding gum but  I did not know for sure if I had it when kissing him at that time.

4. He gave me a massage with oil and  I know for sure he’s got  his pre-cum mixed with oil in his palm.


5. After the massage, he gave me a thigh sex without the condom on his pennis. I checked  later to see if there were any cut or open wound on my two thighs but I couldnot see anything. Can you please let me know what if there were invisible cuts on my thighs and they became contact with either the precum or invisible cuts on his pennis?


6. While I was kissing his belly, he came so quicly that  my lips and nose touched his cum ( I shaved about 4 hours before and I  had some abrasions and chafe on the two part of my nose then). As soon as I noticed this I wiped off with a paper tissue and washed with water and soap. Is this a risk for me?

I coulnt stay focused on everything I do as the fear of HIV infection caused by my encounters is pulling my  mind. Please pardon me for my bad English and lengthy sentences and let me know about your assessments on each of my encounters. Do i need to gest tested over these?


Im looking forwards to hearing from you very soon

Thank you very much!


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 10:35:03 AM »
Hey Guy,

The bottom line in all of this that you are worrying needlessly. Nothing you are reporting put you at risk for HIV transmission. I suspect your anxiety has a lot to do with your being new to m2m sexual activity.

It's really quite simple to protect yourself sexually in terms of HIV. Just always make sure that condoms are being used for vaginal and anal intercourse. No exceptions. Those two activities are the only confirmed ones for the sexual transmission of HIV. Everything else is strictly "theoretically" risky but not really a risk.

For instance, getting oral is one of the most common of sexual activities is receiving oral. No guy in the entire history of the epidemic has ever been confirmed to have been infected in that manner. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first. Nor is anything else you mentioned a risk.

You do need to be aware that other STDs are much easier to get than HIV, so we recommend that anyone who is sexually active ought to at least once a year have a full STD panel done just as a precaution.

There's no need for further concern on your part this time nor any need for HIV testing.
Andy Velez

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2010, 10:47:51 AM »
Thanks a lot for your quick reply to me, Anndy. I've just visted some other sites lke the body.com they say oral sex is at a low risk and and recomemend a test for that. Would you please tell me why is contradicting there?

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2010, 12:38:46 PM »
Thanks again for your kind comforting words and just for reassurance, can i also heard from other experts here please?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2010, 01:05:37 PM »
We are not responsible for what other sites give out as far as information is concerned. We're very careful about what we say to make certain it is HIV-science based.

If you continue to surf the net I can promise you that you will get different responses including many that will feed your worst fears. Anytime you have sex with anything other than your own hand there is "theoretically" risk. So you can accept what we say or or not. And how many opinions do you think you need here to satisfy yourself?

You did not have a risk and there's no need for testing. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2010, 04:01:28 PM »
Thanks again for your kind comforting words and just for reassurance, can i also heard from other experts here please?

I agree with Andy. You were not at risk of being infected with HIV and you do not need to be tested for HIV.

MtD

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2010, 12:13:42 PM »
Thanks Andy and Matty and other experts for your time and helpful information and sorry again for i may have bothered you a lot and overasked... as i just wondered  and  have been in a hard time recently with the anxiety and the fear over the infection as far as my above-mentioned sex encounters are concerned. In fact, i've spent more time reading information about other similar incidents in your forum in the last two days. You've been doing a quite great job here, i think,  for having been very patient, listening carefully and understanding thoroughly each individuals' incident.

I will follow your advice and try to let it go even though it can take time for me, i think.

One more and last question that i'd like to ask is  can i go on having unprotected sex with my securely monogamous girlfriend and even without a test?

Thank you in advance!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2010, 12:33:07 PM »
As far as HIV is concerned, you're good to go in terms of having unprotected intercourse with your gf.

You do need to know that if you are sexually outside of your relationship, other STDs are easier to acquire than HIV. Having a full STD panel done at least annually is a good idea if you are active outside the relationship.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2010, 03:33:30 AM »
Dear experts,

Im sorry to bother you again

I went to a hairdresser's today to have my hair cut and shaving after that. The hairdresser was so absent-minded that she forget changing the razor-blade and used the old one for the shaving. She said she was so sorry about that...There nothing i could do but i started to feel scared as i saw some tiny cuts in the my face after the shaving. I then checked and applied some alcohol to shaved area and it felt very hot and  chafed. What panics me here is what if that blade might have been used by someone right before me (and im sure it was used) as they had another customer visiting before me. Anyway, it took the hairdresser nearly about 45 minutes to finish my hair cut before the shaving. Please advise me on this incidient please. Thank you very much!

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2010, 04:05:51 AM »
Hello Ann, i've seen you online. Can you please tell me if am at risk over this new incident as am feeling quite anxious now...Thank you!

Offline Ann

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2010, 04:06:09 AM »
Stressed,

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted during unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies. Once hiv finds itself outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

There's no way you'd get hiv from a barber's tools. No way.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2010, 04:19:29 AM »
Thank you for your quick response, Ann. Is it right that i dont need to be worried even if there may be some blood on the after-used blade from someone who had a shaving done right before me?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2010, 04:21:50 AM »
A theoretical risk, if the guy shaves off a chunk of skin, and passes the bloody razor to you, who then does the same.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline stressed and worried guy

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Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2010, 04:30:59 AM »
Tkz, can i come to the conclusion that it's not absolutely risky if the after-used blade was applied to me for shaving after about 45 minutes of being exposed to the air? But does it count if the blade has a  tight cover on it, which may prevented the air from coming to the blade itself?

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2010, 05:10:03 AM »
It has NEVER been documented, so you would be the first case in almost thirty years of research, with millions of infected people.

You should not be worrying about HIV from a barber. It has never happened, and I posit that it never will.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Can you help me with this please?
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2010, 05:16:13 AM »
stressed,

The only time you're going to end up positive from a barber is if you have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with him or her. Seriously. You are worrying for no good reason.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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