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Author Topic: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried  (Read 10401 times)

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Offline stevie123

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Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« on: August 29, 2010, 09:46:54 AM »
HI All

Thanks for the fact that there is a forum out there that might help me process some thoughts running through my head right now. A couple of nights ago I got drunk, and ended up sleeping with a Thai Sex Worker who happened to be looking to pick up on the Kao San Rd. So that was all fine, and she even put lubricant (water based KY) on the condom. Then...horror of horrors, when I finished (as in came) I realised I felt a bit wet and sticky so i pulled out of her and realised there was near the top of the condom about have the size of a penny coin. I asked here repeatly if she was clean. She said yes. She asked if i was clean, I said yes. I even met her the next night and she asked me if I wanted to go to her apartment to discuss it more. I said yes. We didnt sleep together and kept telling me she was clean and stop worrying but seemed pissed off when i kept asking her when i got tested. But she had a beautiful apartment, didnt seem in any way a drug user and was about 20 yrs old. All of course is superfifical to my risk exposure. I am out of my mind with worry. I keep going over statistics and numbers. I hear its 1 in 2000 for an insertive neg with a receptive pos female. But each act is mutually exclusive therefore this doesnt matter. And then its like well she has to be pos too. Oh my someone help me here. I feel like every moment weight a million tonnes!!!!! How on earth will I last three months of this..

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2010, 02:05:10 PM »
1. clean is an awful way to describe a person. I have HIV, and I am not dirty. Shame and stigma infiltrate your entire post, and after I finish writing this, I shall shower. Of course your friend with the beautiful apartment was pissed off. You were continually insulting her.

2. You were protected up until the moment your condom broke.  There are NO RELIABLE odds for HIV infection. The one, singular study that pretended to define odds was thoroughly debunked almost a decade ago. Too many variables, from environmental to vial load to other illnesses and infections on the part of either partner make it akin to chaos theory.

3. A test at 12 weeks past the incident will determine your HIV status over this singular, low risk event.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2010, 02:56:41 PM »
Along with what JK has said to you I will add that it is more difficult to transmit HIV from female to male. And you had only a single possible exposure which was protected until the condom broke. So the odds are definitely in your favor that you will test negative.

And you do need to get tested just to be sure. A negative at 13 weeks will be conclusive but you can if you wish test initially at 6 weeks. If you do that and get a negative it's very likely you will continue to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2010, 06:11:59 PM »
I am so so sorry I offended anyone by my terminology. I know that in my panicky state I may offend. However I am really really scared. I truly now believe that I am infected and am paying for the actions of a misled life. Sorry everybody. And I am sorry to anyone whom I have ever offended too.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2010, 07:14:31 PM »
Apology accepted.

Forturnately fears and feelings aren't facts. So "feeling I am infected" doesn't mean squat in terms of HIV science. Lay off of the drama about your situation. Your risk was low and the odds are you are not infected and that you will test negative. And those odds in your favor ARE based in science and experience. 
Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2010, 09:12:08 AM »
Hi there

Thanks for all the help and suggestions. I am in a phase however where I am now comvinced I have it. For example I woke up this morning with a sore throat and this is something I havent had since i was a child. I was on the internet and read that a sore throat is a symptom in the first week after exposure. Now I dont know what to do. I feel truly doomed.

Thanks again for the help,

Stephen

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2010, 09:39:58 AM »
And between now and the time you can get tested you may have all sorts of "symptoms." The mind (and body) can play all kinds of tricks. Many who come here are as certain as you are that they are infected. And almost all of them ultimately test negative as I expect will be the case for you as well.

Meantime you just have to get through the waiting period. You have to make a real effort to focus your attention on other matters in your life. Don't bother saying you are too worried to do that because I can tell you that response won't fly here.

We've given you our assessment of your situation. Nothing is going to change that no matter what "symptoms" you pile into the mix. Ultimately I still expect you to come out of this ok.
Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2010, 03:21:36 AM »
Hi there

Sorry to be a pest but this thing has me gripped with fear and I cant seem to move past it. I keep putting two and two together and coming up with the fact that I must have HIV. My foreskin touched the inside of her vagina (sorry for being graphic) and therefore fluids must have been in contact. I just dont understand how if its a virus it doesnt get passed on every single time there is contact. I dont know how I am going to deal with life if this is confirmed. Im sorry for the ranting post.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2010, 08:20:06 AM »
Stevie, there are various factors which affect whether transmission takes including whether the person you are with is HIV+ to begin with, how high or low the person's viral load is, whether there have been multiple exposures, the healthiness of your own immune system and more.

Beyond that I don't have anything new or further to add to what has already been said. You simply have to wait out your time to get tested so dont' bother with a continuing litany about symptoms. If you have symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. A negative result at 6 weeks points the way very strongly to continuing to test negative at 13 weeks.

Ultimately I expect you to come out of this ok.
Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2010, 03:50:20 AM »
Hi there

Andy, thank you for your assessment of my situation and I do understand that it is just a guessing game at this stage. I woke up today and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I realised also that I have not laughed or smiled in the 9 or so days since this happened to me. Actually no it didnt happen to me, I made it happen to me. I recently applied for a visa to go to Australia and as part of that you have to take the test. This was on January 27th 2010 and it came back negative. I am just so so scared that this one time dance with risk will end up being HIV+ result. This morning was awful. All I could think about was how I was going to go back home to Ireland and tell my mother and father this. Both of them are living saints and I am just trembling typing this right now.I dont know what I will do if I test positive or how I will cope. And I know I shouldnt use this forum as a thoughtspace. Sorry again for the rant.

Stephen

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2010, 08:35:15 AM »
Stephen, you're all caught up worrying about a situation that I don't think is going to happen. I don't have anything more to add at this point beyond what I said previously. And again, I expect you to come out of this ok.

Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2010, 06:07:11 AM »
Hi Andy

Ok, your advice once again is sound, clear and unbiased. I am, however, for the time being, of unsound mind with all the scenarios running around in my head. So I will really try my best to 'man' up and will take a full STD panel at 13 weeks post possible exposure which will be on the 25th November. I will let you know how I get on.

Thanks again mate
Stephen

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2010, 10:55:30 AM »
Hi Again,

So I know that I said i would not respond until I had a conclusive test, and I do know that your advice is sound and unbiased however I was reading (tonight i was of course surfing the net trying to self diagnose) that freelance csws in bangkok for the most part are bargirls who have been removed from the bars as they have HIV. So know I am thinking that the girl I was with was HIV +. And it has me quite worried. I was totally calm until tonight. I guess I have no question yet I am looking for ways of calming myself down. The website i looked at scared the beljaysus out of me. Is it really quite a low risk for the insertive partner after a condom breakage? It seems to me that according to various responses that you have never heard of it being transmitted, however i know in the general population of the world it probably has happened. Really I am doing ok in this waiting period for the most part, but that website tonight scared the hell out of me. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Thanks again
Stephen

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2010, 02:35:44 PM »
Steve,

Sure, there's probably a rare case out there where some unlucky guy became infected following a condom break when he was the insertive partner. However, I've been working in the Am I forum since 2001 and I have yet to see a case where this happened to anyone writing in here. I really don't expect you to be the first.

You have to remember that even when no condom is used at all, hiv is much more difficult to transmit to the insertive partner during vaginal intercourse. I was with a negative partner for eighteen months before I was diagnosed, during which time we never used condoms. He remained hiv negative. We were together for over eight years and he's still negative to this day.

You need to stop with the self-diagnosing. All you're doing is freaking yourself out for no good reason. If you feel unwell, see a doctor, not the internet.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2010, 11:06:21 AM »
Hi Ann

Thanks for the reply. I am not usually like this at all. Will try my level best not to waste the next couple of months by worrying. I am on a round the world trip and it would be awful to spend the remainder like this.

And I will try to stop self diagnosing,

Thanks again
Stephen

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2010, 11:13:11 AM »
Steve,

Don't "try", just DO it!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2010, 08:51:35 AM »
Hi there,

I know that I am in the window period and that I should stop these posts and just wait out my time, however I was reading on this and other sites that the asian strain 'e' of the HIV virus is much more easily transmitted to uncirumcised males from females who are HIV+. I am uncircumcised and now this has put an even heavier strain on my mind as I wait this out. Do you think I have significantly increased risk because of this. It has terrified me even more. I know I should just keep my mouth shut and wait this out so please accept my apologies for posting more.

Thanks again
Stephen

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2010, 09:15:08 AM »
Steve,

I don't think your risk level has changed at all. I wish you would stay off the internet already. Geeze.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2010, 09:22:30 AM »
You need to make a real effort to focus on other things in your life. Which ought to be very possible when you are on a round-the-world trip. Work on feeding our life instead of your fears.

A broken condom situation is very low risk and you're going to feel kinda silly about it when you collect the negative test result we expect you to receive if you have wasted your trip worrying needlessly.

Breathe and get on with your life is my strong suggestion.
Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #19 on: October 17, 2010, 07:14:58 AM »
OK. I am now at week 8. And am still terrified. I actually forgot about the whole thing for about 6 weeks but tonight it hit me like a train. I am going in for a test on Thursday. I am positively shaking about it. I dont mean to be a wimp but this is a big thing, right? trying to keep it together here. In Sydney, Bondi Beach and feel very alone.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #20 on: October 17, 2010, 12:07:44 PM »
Good. Get tested and collect what I expect will be a negative result.

Meantime breathe deeply and slowly and savor looking around at the world today.
Andy Velez

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #21 on: November 24, 2010, 11:12:22 AM »
So i waited until day 92. tomorrow is test day. i am drunk now off my ass and super fearful. Wil my alcohol level affect my blood sample?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #22 on: November 24, 2010, 11:15:03 AM »
NO.

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #23 on: November 28, 2010, 02:14:02 AM »
Hello,

Thanks Rod for the information. I do appreciate it. So I took the test and now I wait for results. They are due on Thurs arvo aussie time. I am completely freaked out though. I woke up this morning and found a painless red spot near the base of my penis on the skin. I am convinced now that my worst fears will be confirmed. I feel a bit inconsolable and sorry for myself. And a bit nauseous too. I think now that even if it doesnt come out pos I will have syphilis or something else. I have never ever had red spots down there before. Sorry i know i shouldnt post like this. I have been keeping it together quite well but since the test and finding this things have pretty much fallen apart,

Thanks for your 'being there' moderators :)

S

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #24 on: November 28, 2010, 09:13:55 AM »
Steve,

Hiv does not cause red spots near your penis. Syphilis can, but this isn't a syphilis website.

Good luck with your test results.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stevie123

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #25 on: November 28, 2010, 07:05:17 PM »
Hi All

I just got my result for HIV and Syphilis and they came back negative. I have learned a valuable lesson about alcohol and resultant behaviour and have learned a lot about respecting other people through the interactions I have had on this site. Thank you very very much for your support from the bottom of my heart.

Thanks again

Stephen

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Broke with Thai CSW ....worried out of my mind!!
« Reply #26 on: November 29, 2010, 08:20:41 AM »
That's happy news, Stephen.

Now, along with remembering in the future to avoid mixing alcohol with excessive drinking, also most important is to always use a condom for vaginal and anal intercourse.

Cheers on your way.
Andy Velez

Offline stephen197

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Will I ever learn..
« Reply #27 on: February 10, 2012, 08:38:15 AM »
Hello there

16mths ago I got great help and support from this site under a different username (that I have now forgotten). At the time I had sex with a Thai CSW in Bangkok and the condom broke. I got tested at the three month window and it was conclusively negative. I have not had unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse since that time. 2 nights ago I was in Singapore on business and I paid a visit to the Orchard towers red light district. I got fairly drunk and ended up bringing a CSW I picked up on the street back to my hotel. I remember lying back on the bed and she put a condom belonging to her on me. I had a semi erection and I dont remember being inside her however I do remember that I took the condom off in front of her and then performed oral sex on me after that. I woke up in the morning and the condom was lying on the bedside locker. I am almost certain we did not have penetrative sex. She was not drunk, I was and she put a condom on me. So I am fairly certain she was being responsible. I did not ejaculate as I was too drunk. Now I am worried of risk of STI as I was drunk and cannot be 100% certain of all the details. The fool inside of me has struck once again. Any advice out there? I really dont know why I am posting as I know you guys give unemotional factual advice.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #28 on: February 10, 2012, 08:39:56 AM »
Using multiple accounts is not permitted here.

Why have you created a new account? Your questions will not be answered until you explain yourself.

MtD

Offline stephen197

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #29 on: February 10, 2012, 08:41:53 AM »
Hi Matty,

I honestly cannot remember my username. Its that innocent. I dont mean to use multiple accounts. If i could remember my old username I would. I am nt a very technically minded person:(

Offline stephen197

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2012, 08:52:31 AM »
Hi

Idiotically (if thats a word) I didnt do a search on my old topic. My old username is stevie123. My apologies for misusing your website.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #31 on: February 10, 2012, 08:55:27 AM »
Hi

Idiotically (if thats a word) I didnt do a search on my old topic. My old username is stevie123. My apologies for misusing your website.

Given that you can remember your previous username, I am not able to answer your question until a moderator has reviewed this thread.

MtD

Offline stevie123

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #32 on: February 10, 2012, 09:09:24 AM »
Hi there

Ok back using the original account. Sorry for the confusion!

Offline Ann

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #33 on: February 10, 2012, 09:12:31 AM »
Stephen,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

I have also disabled your new account.

I need you to return to your original stevie123 account. If you have forgotten the password to that account, you will need to click on the "forgot password" link on the main login page.

You will be sent a password reminder email to the email account associated with the stevie123 account. To jog your memory, the email username is your full name plus 2004, and it is a gmail account.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.






It sounds very unlikely that you had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you.

Neither protected intercourse nor getting a blowjob are risks for hiv infection. In short, you did not have a risk.

You only need to test if it's been a year or more since you last tested. Any sexually active adult should be tested at least once a year.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2012, 09:15:19 AM »
Hi there

Ok back using the original account. Sorry for the confusion!

We don't judge life choices here but perhaps if you didn't drink so much you'd be able to remember your login details.

And the same applies to your sex life.

From what I can tell you got on the turps and availed yourself of the services of a painted lady. No real sin there.

She sucked your cock and you were wearing a rubber but you didn't have anal or vaginal sex.

If I've gotten this right, you were not at risk of contracting HIV.

HIV is transmitted via unprotected anal and vaginal sex as well as by sharing contaminated needles and syringes. In some cases it can be transmitted from HIV positive mother to her unborn or nursing child.

You do not need to be tested for HIV as a result of this encounter. Unless you remember something else.

You do need consider how much grog you tip down your screech.

MtD

Offline stevie123

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #35 on: February 10, 2012, 09:19:46 AM »
Matty,

From what I can tell you are an Aussie native. And I thank you for Ann and yours advice and good karma that you continually send around this site. Yes grog is an issue I am trying to manage. And Catholic guilt is another big one. I will be mindful of my situations in the future. And bloody hell at 34 yrs of age you would think I would have learned. I will get tested in any case as I am due a full screening. Hypochondria is a huge factor in the three month window but I will get on with life. Again sorry for being all over the shop in my account details etc..

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #36 on: February 10, 2012, 09:24:06 AM »
Matty,

From what I can tell you are an Aussie native. And I thank you for Ann and yours advice and good karma that you continually send around this site. Yes grog is an issue I am trying to manage. And Catholic guilt is another big one. I will be mindful of my situations in the future. And bloody hell at 34 yrs of age you would think I would have learned. I will get tested in any case as I am due a full screening. Hypochondria is a huge factor in the three month window but I will get on with life. Again sorry for being all over the shop in my account details etc..

You are forgiven.

Go, and sin no more.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Will I ever learn..
« Reply #37 on: February 10, 2012, 09:38:38 AM »
stevie,

Thank you for returning to your original account. You posted with it while I was writing my reply and I neglected to edit it.

You should wait ten days to two weeks before you get that full panel. While you weren't at risk for hiv, you may have picked something else up during the blowjob. It's not uncommon for syphilis, gonorrhea or chlamydia to be transmitted this way. These three STIs do not always have noticeable symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stevie123

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Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #38 on: June 06, 2013, 12:30:47 AM »
Hello,

The night before last I went out by myself in Patong. I got very drunk and ended up bringing a bar girl back to my room. She performed unprotected oral sex on me a couple of times. I rubbed my penis against her vagina a couple of times and I was not wearing a condom at that point. From what I can remember we had sex twice and then again in the morning. I wore a condom each time. I am racking my brains to think if I was ever inside her without a condom and from what I can gather I was not. I asked her continuously in the morning if I wore a condom the night before. She said yes and the empty condoms were evidence of this. She also produced one of those 'I am aids free' certificates that you can buy on the black market in Thailand and that made me worry even more. I guess I just cannot believe I did this and now I am worried about whether I might have become infected from the frontage or had unprotected sex with her without remembering. I am certain that I didn't but I was drunk. I have made this mistake a couple of times before and am wondering when the russian roulette will not work out in my favour.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #39 on: June 06, 2013, 12:56:18 AM »
Hello,

The night before last I went out by myself in Patong. I got very drunk and ended up bringing a bar girl back to my room. She performed unprotected oral sex on me a couple of times. I rubbed my penis against her vagina a couple of times and I was not wearing a condom at that point. From what I can remember we had sex twice and then again in the morning. I wore a condom each time. I am racking my brains to think if I was ever inside her without a condom and from what I can gather I was not. I asked her continuously in the morning if I wore a condom the night before. She said yes and the empty condoms were evidence of this. She also produced one of those 'I am aids free' certificates that you can buy on the black market in Thailand and that made me worry even more. I guess I just cannot believe I did this and now I am worried about whether I might have become infected from the frontage or had unprotected sex with her without remembering. I am certain that I didn't but I was drunk. I have made this mistake a couple of times before and am wondering when the russian roulette will not work out in my favour.

Regardless of the "AIDS FREE" card she had, it is ALWAYS up to you to make sure your sex is protected. A CSW is very likely to use a condom to protect her, not you. You were more than likely safe, and therefore more than likely you had no risk. Assuming the events went as you describe.

Oral sex is no risk. Rubbing against her vagina is no risk. If you used a condom for penetrative sex then there was no risk at all.

Thing is, you were a bit too drunk to be sure - and therein lies the anxiety.

I recommend in the future that you watch your alcohol intake to make certain that you KNOW what you are doing, and REMEMBER what you did. Otherwise you will likely have more incidents like this, and you really are depending on the professionalism and generosity of strangers to keep you healthy. It's YOUR responsibility. Please exercise that in the future.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #40 on: June 06, 2013, 01:05:58 AM »
Jkinat12,

I get the feeling I have offended you. I am sorry if I did. I just wanted to describe the event in the most accurate way possible. I reread my post and I think I may have been too curt. I am sorry if it sounded like that. I feel real guilty over this whole incident. I am sure I did not engage in unprotected insertive vaginal intercourse with her. I am going to ask her again tonight if I can find her. Based on what I have written so far do you think I have any risk?
And please let me re-iterate my apology for being terse in my first post.
Stephen

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #41 on: June 06, 2013, 01:27:23 AM »
Jkinat12,

I get the feeling I have offended you. I am sorry if I did. I just wanted to describe the event in the most accurate way possible. I reread my post and I think I may have been too curt. I am sorry if it sounded like that. I feel real guilty over this whole incident. I am sure I did not engage in unprotected insertive vaginal intercourse with her. I am going to ask her again tonight if I can find her. Based on what I have written so far do you think I have any risk?
And please let me re-iterate my apology for being terse in my first post.
Stephen

You absolutely did not offend me! I tend to be a little curt when I perceive that CSW's are being stigmatized, when ironically they are less likely to transmit HIV than a civilian. I am sorry if I overreacted in your case.

You had categorically no risk. She took care of herself quite well, and as a result took care of you too. I was serious about the drinking and sex. You have to be the "captain of your fate" here. You are the person who will pay the real price for what happens in moments of irresponsibility, and I do NOT want you to enter the rest of the forum as someone who has to deal with HIV for the rest of his life.

I always think it's better to be mean here, than to act as if your health meant nothing. It means a lot. Protect it. I will promise to get more crotchety if you don't. Your health is a gift.  Be the guy who protects it!

/rant concluded, soap box free for the next contestant.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #42 on: June 06, 2013, 04:19:06 AM »
Jkinatl2

Thanks for the response.I do appreciate it. I am tearing up inside over this. I am due to move to the states next week and this has thrown the cat among the pigeons. I don't think I am in a risky position but I keep thinking of the what if. I always come back to a particular moment in the night when there was a bit of frottage going on and she shouted out for a condom and I put one on. I have a steady girlfriend now and I don't know what to do there either. I feel so low and guilty about this. I went looking for the girl earlier here and could not find her.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #43 on: June 06, 2013, 04:41:11 AM »
Jkinatl2

Thanks for the response.I do appreciate it. I am tearing up inside over this. I am due to move to the states next week and this has thrown the cat among the pigeons. I don't think I am in a risky position but I keep thinking of the what if. I always come back to a particular moment in the night when there was a bit of frottage going on and she shouted out for a condom and I put one on. I have a steady girlfriend now and I don't know what to do there either. I feel so low and guilty about this. I went looking for the girl earlier here and could not find her.

Stevie, I am sorry. Finding the girl would be fruitless, because you'd always doubt. Doubt and fear have something in common. They both rely on things NOT KNOWN for their power. In life, as you know, there are always things not known. But those things have way more power than they should. It has been my experience that getting that power, that knowledge, is a huge and ongoing part of the human experience.

While I maintain you have had no risk, you have doubt. I submit you would doubt anything that your sex partner claimed, assuming you got hold of her. Please stop. It won't help you, and will only add to her stigma. If you MUST test, please use this as a period to create a version or YOU that you are proud of.

Use it to center yourself, and be the guy that you want your girlfriend to love. Not a facade, but a real, to-the-bone manifestation of yourself. Who would take responsibility for his actions and who would understand that honor trumps dignity.

That particular moment in the night is a snapshot-which by it's very nature is not an accurate depiction of your present. Guilt can destroy you. You are capable and deserving of so much more. One man might find the past to be an anchor wrapped around him, but another man might find that weight to be the stuff of battleships, if it's forged.

Please be OK at the end of this.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #44 on: June 06, 2013, 04:47:51 AM »
Jkinatl2

This is great advice. You are 100% correct. Time to man up. I will sweat it out and focus on the upcoming move in the short term. I don't think I had massive risk but I will test for everything at 6 and 12 wks as its been a year since my last screening.

Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #45 on: June 06, 2013, 06:58:59 AM »
I just checked my penis and these red spots near the tip have developed. I'm fucked.

Offline Ann

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #46 on: June 06, 2013, 08:49:59 AM »
Stevie,

Once again, I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.



You may have been fucked, but you used a condom when you got fucked.

If you're worried about the red spots, get them checked out. I can tell you that red penis spots have NOTHING to do with hiv, but they can be indicative of other, MUCH more easily transmitted STI, ones that can - UNLIKE hiv - be transmitted during blowjobs or frottage. We've had this red-spot discussion with you before, so I suggest you re-read your entire thread.

I very much doubt that you had any risk for hiv, but again, you may have been at risk for other MUCH more easily transmitted STIs.

You can test for most other STIs at around ten days after a risk has occurred. However, syphilis shares a three month testing window with hiv for a conclusive negative result. Also like hiv it can often return a positive result much sooner, but it's still a three month wait for a conclusive negative.

And you know, sometimes red spots are just red spots. You may have even had them before you started micro-examining your penis in your paranoia - in fact we already know you've had them before. The only way to find out what they are is by showing them to a doctor. We cannot help you with that here, but I can assure you that red spots on your penis have NOTHING to do with hiv.

Oh, and another thing. You said "I have a steady girlfriend now and I don't know what to do there either."

Earlier on in this recent exchange with JK, he said to you "they (CSWs) are less likely to transmit HIV than a civilian." And he's right.

Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves and are less likely to have or transmit hiv. However, "civilians", ie the women you date, tend to not bother with condoms unless they're wanting to prevent pregnancy and rarely test for hiv because they think that because they're not sex workers or gay men, they don't need to test.

Unless you and this steady girlfriend have BOTH tested for hiv and all other STIs BEFORE you stopped using condoms (if you ever bothered to used them in the first place), then you've already been unwittingly at risk for hiv and all the other STIs.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.


Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #47 on: June 06, 2013, 10:47:57 AM »
Ok Ann. I am here. Clear and present. And you are right. I had another incident and i am like colonel blimp red faced and not having learned a single thing. I am useless and unworthy. I will pick myself up and re-learn. I feel like my life is not worth a thing. You good people are better than having to respond to my BS. I will try harder next time. i did use a condom but for my worth it should have broke. I am sorry for wasting your generous time.

Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #48 on: June 06, 2013, 11:17:53 PM »
Hi there

I apologize for my feeling sorry for myself reply. I will get checked out and for the record I have always engaged in protected sex. Its just that this time I was drunk and put myself in a bad situation.

Offline stevie123

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Re: Sex with CSW in Patong, now I am worried
« Reply #49 on: June 07, 2013, 01:41:00 AM »
Hi there

I am sorry for excessively posting but more and more of that night is starting to come back to me. I do remember her asking for me to put on a condom and I did. O do not remember at any stage being inside without having a condom on. I also remember that at one stage a tried to insert a finger into her anus and she stopped me. So I think she was being much more responsible than I was. I am just worried about my risk. I am sitting alone in the hotel here and the hours are going by slowly. I have to fly back to my girlfriend tonight and I feel ashamed and do not know what to do. I haven't eaten in days. The worry of this being a HIV pos situation is driving me insane.

 


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