Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 21, 2014, 12:58:07 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 650044
  • Total Topics: 49619
  • Online Today: 177
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 110
Total: 112

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: through tearful eyes  (Read 9006 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Regretsafew

  • Member
  • Posts: 100
through tearful eyes
« on: August 24, 2006, 02:55:38 PM »
First of all... I'd like to thank the creators and all the people on this site... It sure is a Godsend. 

Well here goes... This is my story.  I just learned I was HIV positive the beginning of this month. 

I started not feeling well the beginning of July.  I am a nurse and work in an Emergency Room in  the suburbs and I think I've only seen 1 or 2  patients with HIV in the 4 years I've been there.  So HIV is uncommon to my colleagues and pretty much myself.  I was seen by one of the docs there because I was feeling tired and was running a low grade fever.  He said  probably just a sinus infection and put me on some antibiotics.  Hover I got worse.  I went to my primary doctor a few days later  He did some blood work (not HIV)  and said that I had mono.  I went back to him a few times and was not getting any better.  Fevers over 102.  etc.  All I could do was drink water and Gatorade and pop tylenols and Advil's.  He then referred me to an Infectious Disease doctor. 

I went and seen her.  She reviewed my labs from the mono and asked a bunch of questions.  Later I was becoming very dizzy and still running fevers.  I ended up in the ER- where I work at.  and was admitted because my sodium level was very low.  While I was in the hospital  they did my HIV test.  I asked them to keep it confidential because everything at work is put into a computer where anyone can gain access to.  They did, thankfully.  I was in the hospital for 4 days.  After I came home a few days the ID doctor called me and told me my HIV came back positive.  I was completely devastated and she reminded me to keep my appointment with her 2 days later.

I went to her office.... I was scared to death.  She gave me per scriptions for 2 medications.  Combivir and Sustiva and sent me to another hospital lab for my CD4 and Viral Load test for confidentiality.    She called me about a week later and told me she had some good news  that my T cells were 357.  My viral load was high ... greater than 100,000  CD4  was 7%  but she said with the meds  those would improve.   She also said that the hospital had a committee and they discuss employees who are HIV pos, have  Hep B etc  and that they had to tell the director (my boss)  OMG  i was so scared I would be fired.  I met with her before I returned to work and thankfully she was very supportive.  You just never know how people will react to this.  She assured me she wouldn't tell anyone and anything I needed just to come to her. 

I started back to work last week.  I'm a lil tired but I'm dealing with so much and trying to learn new things. I'm the happy go lucky guy normally and I feel like I have this huge weight on me now.  The hardest thing was telling my mom  and my close friends.  I'm trying to hang in there  but sometimes I just break down and cry.  Any support or guidance would sure be appreciated.  I think I need a hug. 


Thanks for reading this. 

Joey

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2006, 03:04:55 PM »
Joey, it is with regret that I welcome you to the forum. But you could NOT have found a better place to discuss your concerns and get the best information anywhere.

Hang in there, ok? You're among friends.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2006, 03:09:12 PM »
Im sorry you have to be part of our family...but you are that to us now.... FAMILY!

Welcome and big hugs!

Andrew
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2006, 03:39:21 PM »
The virus? That bastard is gonna be killed soon, brought to it by YOU AND YOUR ID.

You, WELCOME!!!!!! I was diagnosed like 6 weeks ago. We all know exactly how scared you feel, and difficult can this thing be...But guess what? WE ARE STILL ALIVE....YOU ARE ALIVE!!!!!!

A warm but strong huge in these moments of confussion

Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline frenchpat

  • Member
  • Posts: 516
  • Love your friends, don't eat them.
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2006, 03:45:14 PM »
Bonjour Joey,

((((((((((((((((Joey))))))))))))))))

this, I learned here, is a big hug.

Welcome here. We're all in this together.

Pat
People have the power - Patti Smith

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2006, 04:42:23 PM »
Joey sending YOU  the much needed

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Siang

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,280
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2006, 05:02:56 PM »
Hello Joey,

I just want to say hello and welcome you to the site. It's always difficult to welcome someone who is newly diagnosed, but I am sure you will find plenty of support here from everyone, and no doubt you will learn many things. I wish this site had existed, when I was diagnosed positive back in 1985...Hell, ! I wish there was an internet then !! A lot of progress has been made, since the early days of this virus, and there are people working throughout the world on a daily basis. So always keep hope alive !! I have always remained hopeful, optimistic and positive, in all the years of living with HIV. It's important to remain focused !!


I know things are moving fast for you, and that you have a lot of issues, questions and concerns, going through your mind right now, but try to find some time for yourself to unwind and de-stress. It's always easy for someone else to say this. Just understand you are not alone in this, we have all been there, and we do understand.

 You say you are back to work. That is a good thing. I am a firm believer, that if you are capable of working, that you should work. I still continue to work full time. Make sure to know your limitations. Don't push yourself too hard, and make sure to get plenty of rest when you need it. The body heals the best when you are able to get a good 8 hours of sleep a day, and when you can live your life as stress free as you possibly can. It's not always easy, but it is possible. Understand that life goes on, and that you need to keep a good outlook on life !!


Make sure to check out the other forums as well, especially the nutrition forum, and see what else you can do to keep yourself additionally healthy. My words of advice, eat right, sleep right, keep busy ( but know your limits.), and educate yourself (learn a little each day, at your pace) And be very adherent to the meds and the schedule you are on.

It's not always an easy road, and there will be potholes and speed bumps on occasion, but you will be able to get down  that road, as so many of us do on a daily basis. Hang in there !!



Take care of yourself/ Stay in touch/ Ask questions !!!-------Ray
« Last Edit: August 26, 2006, 02:12:43 PM by J.R.E. »
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 12/10/14,  t-cells are at 350,  Previous 8/25/14--- 402/ Viral load remains <40

 Current % is at 13% / Previous 8/25/14 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline MC

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
  • Hello.........
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2006, 05:18:41 PM »
Joey
Hello and first off id like to send you a hug!! I too tested positive July 31st. It seems like weve been dealing with this about the same time and have similar experiences with this primary stage.I would really like to keep contact here as we could support each other perhaps discuss meds and whatever we need too.........Im also very new as i said and ive got lots to learn, but ill be here..................................lets keep in touch
hugs
MC
08/06 cd4s 320 vl 900,000

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2006, 08:22:17 PM »
Joey....

Welcome to the forums here at aidsmeds...  I know those fears all to well.. Was there a year ago and I have not looked back...  Health Care,  wow..  We should have known all there is right?!?!  Bloodborne pathogens and all those lectures right?? I am an EMT...  Still going strong and helping others as you should to..  Life goes on..  Disclosure that you are worried about will taper in time...  There are so so many health care workers, law enforcement, fire protection and you name it, we are well represented...  Keep posting and letting us get to know you better..  We all have had experiences that you have yet to go through... Allow us to share our experiences with you so as to lessen your fears.  Your going to do just great... After time passes your meds will get you back what you have lost.  Be good to yourself, and do not work to hard until you get a few more cd4's to juggle with..  Lots of rest and sleep and stress is a big NO NO, and yes I know, in your line of work, it can be difficult... 

All my Love,
« Last Edit: August 24, 2006, 08:24:06 PM by Eric »

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2006, 10:54:17 PM »
Hello Joey, it is Eldon. I wish to extend to you a big warm Welcome with a BIG hug too. Here at the forums you will find love, encouragement, support, fun, and many answers to your questions relating to HIV/AIDS. This is a Damn good group of people and YES, you have found the right place!

As all have said, Educate yourself as much as you can on HIV/AIDS. Follow your Doctor's advice. Get plenty of rest, eat a proper diet, get some exercise, and drink plenty of fluids. Feel free to come and vent any of your frustrations that you may have, we are here for you.

Again, Welcome to the family!

Offline inthesameboat

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2006, 02:18:02 AM »
First of all... I'd like to thank the creators and all the people on this site... It sure is a Godsend. 

Well here goes... This is my story.  I just learned I was HIV positive the beginning of this month. 

I started not feeling well the beginning of July.  I am a nurse and work in an Emergency Room in  the suburbs and I think I've only seen 1 or 2  patients with HIV in the 4 years I've been there.  So HIV is uncommon to my colleagues and pretty much myself.  I was seen by one of the docs there because I was feeling tired and was running a low grade fever.  He said  probably just a sinus infection and put me on some antibiotics.  Hover I got worse.  I went to my primary doctor a few days later  He did some blood work (not HIV)  and said that I had mono.  I went back to him a few times and was not getting any better.  Fevers over 102.  etc.  All I could do was drink water and Gatorade and pop tylenols and Advil's.  He then referred me to an Infectious Disease doctor. 

I went and seen her.  She reviewed my labs from the mono and asked a bunch of questions.  Later I was becoming very dizzy and still running fevers.  I ended up in the ER- where I work at.  and was admitted because my sodium level was very low.  While I was in the hospital  they did my HIV test.  I asked them to keep it confidential because everything at work is put into a computer where anyone can gain access to.  They did, thankfully.  I was in the hospital for 4 days.  After I came home a few days the ID doctor called me and told me my HIV came back positive.  I was completely devastated and she reminded me to keep my appointment with her 2 days later.

I went to her office.... I was scared to death.  She gave me per scriptions for 2 medications.  Combivir and Sustiva and sent me to another hospital lab for my CD4 and Viral Load test for confidentiality.    She called me about a week later and told me she had some good news  that my T cells were 357.  My viral load was high ... greater than 100,000  CD4  was 7%  but she said with the meds  those would improve.   She also said that the hospital had a committee and they discuss employees who are HIV pos, have  Hep B etc  and that they had to tell the director (my boss)  OMG  i was so scared I would be fired.  I met with her before I returned to work and thankfully she was very supportive.  You just never know how people will react to this.  She assured me she wouldn't tell anyone and anything I needed just to come to her. 

I started back to work last week.  I'm a lil tired but I'm dealing with so much and trying to learn new things. I'm the happy go lucky guy normally and I feel like I have this huge weight on me now.  The hardest thing was telling my mom  and my close friends.  I'm trying to hang in there  but sometimes I just break down and cry.  Any support or guidance would sure be appreciated.  I think I need a hug. 


Thanks for reading this. 

Joey
« Last Edit: October 09, 2006, 09:14:11 PM by inthesameboat »
Life is hard sometimes..and we are stronger everyday.

Offline inthesameboat

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2006, 02:22:04 AM »
My respects for you and a very big hug from my heart to yours..
I find out about my test about a month ago..  I also work at a hospital and i can understand the fear of disclosing to anyone here..    I also respect the fact that you told your family and friends..
WE all respond on different ways..i decided to keep it to myself and my doctor..   That's why groups like this are wonderfull support..  Gos luck to you and a great life!!!
Life is hard sometimes..and we are stronger everyday.

Offline dyingYOUNG19

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #12 on: August 27, 2006, 11:52:54 AM »
hello there Joey...how's life now?

Like you, I am a newly diagnosed of HIV here in the Philippines, I just knew last May 23, 2006.....

I am a nursing student right now soon to graduate this March 2007.

Just remember that everything has a purpose, or maybe God has a better plans for you, whatever it is, you must accept and do best on it. Actually you're still LUCKY with what you have right now, you have a GOOD COUNTRY that takes into account the equalilty in the society for PLWHAs compare to us, you have your supportive family and friends, you still have your job, you have access to good drugs and treatments....

there are people who live in poverty...in war...and in worst cases around the globe....

just consider those things and surely you will feel blessed by God.....

and also, if you can do...try to reach out to other people whom you think you will be needed most.....

HIV is a blessing....take it as a GIFT and learn to live a better life with it...

regards,

ALEX

« Last Edit: August 27, 2006, 12:24:15 PM by dyingYOUNG19 »
there were two GREATEST DAYS in your LIFE:
The day you were born; and
the day you knew why...
___________________________

I will live this DAY as if my LAST. This DAY is ALL I HAVE and these HOURS are my ETERNITY...

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2006, 04:09:21 AM »
I found out that I was poz 22 years ago. Life deals us a hand to play. You have found a place to help you deal with the hand you have been dealt. I hope you continue to grow and move forward with your life. The tears will dry up, the pian will get better.Hang in there bud. We are all here to help you! Welcome! Your life may be different for now on...change can be a good thing if you choose it to be!
Positive since 1985

Offline cubbybear

  • Member
  • Posts: 510
  • Joined August 2005.
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2006, 08:15:25 PM »
Hey Joey.

Im also a nurse, and I work in the ER of a city hospital but have been on leave for a while and due to go back in October.  Staff at my hospital also know, and I was worried they would sack me also, but they were great and said there were other hiv or hep nurses in the hospital and that they don't discriminate.  I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but not sorry to welcome you here amongst all these very supportive people.  I've been here for almost a year now.  Things will get better, I assure you.

hugs
Matt
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline Sky

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
    • Myspace
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #15 on: August 29, 2006, 12:39:00 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear about your recent news Joey, but like many others have said you couldn't have found a better place.  I tested poz back in 2003, and each day it gets easier to cope with. 
Poz since 2003.

Offline JohnOso

  • Member
  • Posts: 816
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2006, 03:51:21 PM »
Joey,

Hang in there bud!  Do what your doctor tells you to do, but at the same time, take the advice and lessons from this site and ask questions about everything when you go for visits.  Write things down in advance if you have to.  Always, always take your meds.   And keep a stash of pills in various places so you aren't caught out someplace without them.

I'm an old war-horse nurse also..I work in the ICU, so as you can see, we're well-represented here  ;)

I found out about myself back in January of this year.  Your post brings back many memories for me, because I went through the same thing at Christmas this past year.  I got sick with high fevers, thought it was the flu, then a sinus infection.  I was coughing so much I kept on throwing up and couldn't keep food down at all.  I too lived on Gatorade, Motrin and Tylenol (with a little chicken noodle soup every now and then when I could tolerate it).  Lost about 30 pounds that month.  I can't even stand to look at Gatorade anymore, lol!  Amazing how we nurses think alike with our "care plans" for ourselves !  ;D

I got a CXR from my friends in Radiology on the sly, which was normal.  Then my doctor (gay male) insisted that I get an HIV test.  Well we all know how that ended up.......

Turns out I had PCP (indirectly diagnosed by symptoms) with a CD4 of 13,  VL 303,000, 2% CD4.   So I started on Sustiva and Truvada immediately (along with Bactrim and azithryomycin).

Strange thing is....i've lost 80 pounds since that time, but they were 80 pounds I needed to lose.  I feel healthy as fuck right now, my relationship with my partner is great, and i've developed a friendship with a beautiful soul on this website who makes it worthwhile to go thru this drama every day.  If I believed in God, then I'd be saying She does work in mysterious ways.   ;)

BTW, my latest labs this month are: CD4 123, VL <50, 6%.  I'm hiking 7 miles in the hills around here 4 times a week. 

Life is just beginning for us dude!

Take care,
John




Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #17 on: August 29, 2006, 04:45:28 PM »
I'm trying to hang in there  but sometimes I just break down and cry.  Any support or guidance would sure be appreciated.  I think I need a hug.

Hi Joey,

Everything you are experiencing sounds completely normal for someone who was just diagnosed.

I have no words of wisdom or anything much to encourage you more than what others have said.

So just ... (((HUGS)))

It might be hard to believe right now, but things will get better in time.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 508
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #18 on: August 30, 2006, 03:53:58 PM »
Welcome aboard.

Don't fret at crying. It's a healthy way to express often overwhelming emotion. Let it out. You'll feel all the better for it.

As you should know by reading this thread, you certainly are among people who care - because we're all in the same boat.

I was diagnosed earlier this year (2006) and each day gets better and better. Other than coming here and at pill times, I don't think too much about my condition. I'm very much alive - and so are you, my friend :)

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,430
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: through tearful eyes
« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2006, 12:11:00 AM »
Hey Joey,

Welcome aboard, though sorry for the reason you joined us.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Ask anyone who was in Montreal, I give good hug. It's one of my favorite things.  ;D

While it sounds like an oxymoron, if there were ever a good time to find out you are positive, now is that time. There are many more options and treatments than even a few years ago. There were none when I tested positive in 1985.

What's more, you're stuck with us now - you're family.

Hang in there let us know how you are faring.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.