Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 22, 2014, 07:06:18 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 639796
  • Total Topics: 48570
  • Online Today: 229
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Walk on wild side...scared.  (Read 1618 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline sayer

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Walk on wild side...scared.
« on: August 23, 2010, 06:04:48 AM »
Let me start by thanking for the resource you provide.   I attended a bisexual party in the bay area thrown by a women and her bisexual husband. There were some other men and one other women there.  This is only exposure for the last three months.

I only had sex with the wife, she performed a little oral and then a condom was used with her on top.   I ejaculated but she continued to thrust a few more times.  While pulling out,  I reached for the condom and felt it was not on Mr. Happy but my sperm was coming out of the condom.  So it may have been on when it pulled out and  1) slipped off at last moment, or 2)  not on during the short gyration period.(yikes)

Sounds strange that I would not know but I don't, maybe shock at the moment affected my recollection.  I quickly headed for shower.  

I started felling what I think is anxiety since I have no fever or noticeable swollen nodes.  Can anxiety cause dull pain under both pits of the arms and radiate toward the elbow,  and general malaise. (At weeks 2) Or is it ARS???
Reading other sources, I know that an early test is almost useless but somewhat therapeutic and gives a baseline, for me at 16 days = negative. (home access 24 hour test.I  think that it is an ELISA antibody test)

I guess my question is:
1)  What is my risk for the condom slippage if I was flaccid and inserted vaginal for short duration followed by showering 2 minutes later?  HIV status unknown as email and phone calls were not answered. And as I was leaving she said that everything is good, your "safe", not too reassuring.
2)  The reason for really generating a new thread as there are similar questions but none that address bi- and multiple partner situation, and the couple seems to throw these parties  regularly.  Is this an large addition risk during a) multiple partners, and 2)MSM population they engage with them(they claim is that all sex is always "covered" with women?
Mainly, oral event is given by women and men.  No MSM anal is allowed at these parties, but who knows what happens outside these parties.  Occasional women/men sex with condoms. 

Even with the accepted risk, I assume condom would keep me safe but my anxiety is sky high.  Am I infected?  Should I have started PEP?  Too late now. I am at 3 weeks.

Should I go find PCR testing and start meds quickly.  Did anyone on this board start meds early, did it make a difference?
« Last Edit: August 23, 2010, 06:28:55 AM by sayer »

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Walk on wild side...scared.
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2010, 08:40:40 AM »
sayer,

Slow down. You don't need PCR testing and you certainly did not need PEP.

It sounds like the condom came off while you withdrew. That's what will happen if you don't grasp the base of the condom BEFORE you attempt to withdraw. Your cum was inside the condom and there is no doubt in my mind that this is what happened. If you pulled out completely enough to be outside the condom, a), you would not have been able to re-insert your flaccid self and b), if you were still hard enough and had reinserted yourself without the condom on, you would have pushed the condom up inside of her and she would have had to "dig" it out. This clearly did not happen.

So the bottom line is that you didn't have a risk.

All the questions you ask regarding multiple sex partners are irrelevant. You (and they) can have as much sex as you want as long as you make sure condoms are being used for anal or vaginal intercourse. It really is that simple!

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,707
Re: Walk on wild side...scared.
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2010, 08:40:59 AM »
No, PEP is not warranted. Clearly the condom covered youi during intercourse and perhaps came off only as you withdrew. If it came off somewhat earlier the risk would still have been low.

You can if you wish test at 13 weeks just for peace of mind and collect what I certainly expect would be a negative result. HIV is not easily transmitted. It's significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male than the other way around. Since your sperm was in the condom it seems likely to me that the condom slipped off as you withdrew which is not unusual.

There is nothing HIV specific about your symptoms but then you need to know that neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms is ever the way to know about HIV status. When there has been a real risk, only an HIV test at 13 weeks can give you a conclusive negative result,

You do need to know that other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. So we advise anyone who is sexually active to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least annually.

This time out if you decide to test I expect a negative result.

Andy Velez

Offline sayer

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Walk on wild side...scared.
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2010, 05:00:40 AM »
Andy and Ann-

I have read and reread your replies on more than one occasion, they are very comforting.   Understanding that the best advice you can give to those of us who are seeking answers are based wholly on the stories that we give.  My story is no different, I am giving the best of my recollection.   But it is my recollection I can not seem to cement into my mind.  

One would believe that things like this would be like brilliant flashes that slow down so much we can pinpoint exactly what occurred.  Ann your response makes so much sense it has led me down the path of questioning of different ways I could penetrate without burrowing the condom.   The possibilities of changing the risk of my scenario to insertive sex  is like an interloper in the shadows, lingering and festering.  

I wish sometimes you moderators had a slap app... to jolt us and level us; ultimately reassuring us.

Instead I have my frail psyche, running my finger down the list of symptoms with an aha, there is my sore neck with no-swelling but painful lumps .    I am weak  and got my second Home Access Test  at 23 days post exposure(it was negative).  Emotionally, just waiting for that other shoe to fall, bracing for the tidal wave of bad news.  

I guess my question is trying to determine if limited exposure was real, then in the multiple partner situation, would the theoretical risk that Andy commented above be a moderate risk and not low risk.  

Three month test seems so far away.   Are the home access test(generation one test) accurate indicators at 6 weeks?  I only ask because I have seen anecdotal posting where even the FDA approve testing of 1st generation test has improved. 
« Last Edit: August 31, 2010, 05:03:03 AM by sayer »

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,707
Re: Walk on wild side...scared.
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2010, 08:18:13 AM »
You continue to make this way more complicated than it need be. The Home Access test is an FDA approved test. Go ahead and test at 6 weeks if you need to for your peace of mind. Given what you have reported I certainly expect a negative result then as well as at 13 weeks. 
Andy Velez

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.