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Total Members Voted: 14

Author Topic: Just tested and confirmed positive.  (Read 7891 times)

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Offline PozJeepGuy

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Just tested and confirmed positive.
« on: August 20, 2010, 02:25:02 PM »
Just tested and confirmed positive 8/12/10.  I haven't even met with the new doctor yet to really see where I stand right now.  That will happen on Monday, but I begin to research everything this is one of the questions I keep running into.  So, seeing what others think as I start this whole crappy process.  Thanks in advance.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2010, 02:34:51 PM »
Welcome JeepGuy . Sorry you tested poz but glad you found us , good luck with your upcoming doctors appointment and keep us updated please . Jeff . 

Offline thankyoulilmijo

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2010, 07:11:35 PM »
Establish an open and honest relationship with a doctor you feel comfortable with and DON'T HOLD ANYTHING BACK!

Positive isn't the end of the world like it was 20 years ago... Yes, it might be crappy, however you'll be just fine!! You have all of us, and your friends and family I would reach out to as well..  THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY but you will survive and your life will go on....

Just remember this will take time and you have to have patients for this to work out in your favor.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2010, 10:38:44 AM »
Thanks you guys for the welcome and the input. I have to say I'm a little taken back by how everyone is always saying its no big deal it's not like it was. Maybe because this is all new but I feel it is a big deal we all have a life threatening disease. Is this just a way for all to cope.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2010, 10:50:01 AM »
Welcome Jeep Guy. As a newly diagnosed person (8/11/10) I can totally relate to how you are feeling. It is scary and overwhelming, but I'm confident that with time and the proper advice you will find a great path to dealing with the new life you have before you. I go Monday to meet my Specialist also and to get my first labs ran. We'll have to compare stories and numbers when we get back. Again welcome and I think you have found a great resource here. :)
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Online Jeff G

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2010, 11:02:08 AM »
It is a big deal and you need time and support to get though this .

I think what people are trying to say when they say its no big deal is treatments have improved drastically in recent years .

I can understand the way you feel being newly diagnosed and having people tell you its not a big deal when it clearly doesn't feel that way to you .

Hang in there , it does get better when you have had the time you need to adjust and come to terms with your HIV status .

Offline kev

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2010, 05:50:06 PM »
As a newly Poz person myself 8-15-10 I agree it is a big deal and crappy. Fortunately,
 we have this great site and all these awesome people on here to learn from and to help us make our way. Be sure to take advantage of counseling services to help you when you need it. I think about my HIV + statues constantly now, my Poz friends say this will pass as time goes by. Keep us updated on how you are doing.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2010, 11:42:21 PM »
I can't begin to say thank you enough for your support.  So went to the doctor today and got the first round of numbers.  CD4 - 619 36% VL- 27,612.  From what I'm learning these are some great numbers.  Also after relentless resource soul searching I have decided to start meds now.  It came down to this for me.  I want to keep my own tcells for as long as I can and to stop it from spreading as fast as possible. Also talk to the doctor about starting a resource study about hiv + and over 500 cd4 and it studies to see if starting meds early makes a difference.  Also told my mom today and I am amazed how strong she is and feel truly blessed to you her support. So I promise to post the results and there they are and thanks and again for listening.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline thankyoulilmijo

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2010, 05:06:03 AM »
I will find out on Thursday what my numbers will be and where I stand and for whatever reason I am nervous as hell..    IDK Maybe it's finally hitting me or maybe I'm just over reacting.... Hell if I know!!

Hope all is well with you and stay strong!!

J~

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2010, 06:13:15 AM »
Wow congrats on the high numbers. I went to see my dr yesterday for the first time to have my initial labs ran. I will know my counts on Tues. I'm with you that I want to start meds now regardless of my numbers. Im not optomistic that my numbers will be higher than 500 so it probably wouldn't even be an option, however if my numbers were as high as yours I would still start. Any idea if you are resistant to any meds? Did you discuss what Meds to start? I'm hoping I can go on Atripla as from what I've read its the easiest to adhere to and has the least side effects... besides the dreams lol. Well congrats again on getting informed and having a game plan already laid out. You are gonna be just fine :)
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2010, 06:16:27 AM »
I will find out on Thursday what my numbers will be and where I stand and for whatever reason I am nervous as hell..    IDK Maybe it's finally hitting me or maybe I'm just over reacting.... Hell if I know!!

Hope all is well with you and stay strong!!

J~

J- Don't be nervous.... or try not be :)

One of the things I enjoy the most here is reading people's numbers and VLs over a period of time. It's amazing that some people were less than 100 CD4 at diagnosis and now they are over 500 and UD. I say a number is just a number. Take care of yourself and try not to stress yourself out too much. We have a great support group here, and regardless of your numbers you will live a happy and long life :)
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2010, 09:42:20 AM »
You know they drew more blood to do more test like to see which meds will work and other wonderful STD test. I have to admit thow this is why we should get tested every 6 monthes. I was tested in January and neg and by 7 monthes later pos. I want to bring attention to the fact that you may be in a
committed relationship and trust that person well folks don't this could be you typing on your keyboard. Is it wrong now to start having the feeling how and the hell am I going to pay for all this. Doctor
informed me yesterday that there are a handful of teat that needs to be done that insurance won't cover. Let me also say upfront thank you again forum for the support and I know that there are others out there that have it alot worse than me and I do know that. As of bow this is a out let to say I'm fucking pissed off about all this and this whole experience is bullshit. With that said hope your day is better than the one on this end.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline Inchlingblue

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2010, 12:03:40 PM »
Is it wrong now to start having the feeling how and the hell am I going to pay for all this. Doctor
informed me yesterday that there are a handful of teat that needs to be done that insurance won't cover.   whole experience is bullshit. With that said hope your day is better than the one on this end.

To me the scariest thing about having HIV is the difficulty in accessing insurance and medications in the US. If one has HIV or any other chronic illness in a country that offers its citizens health care, people can go on with their lives productively without worrying that they might lose coverage.

Do you have insurance? If you do, you'll likely have copays for the meds. Almost all of the drug companies offer copay assistance programs which cover all or part of the monthly copay.

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2010, 06:52:55 PM »
Hey new guys,
     I know it's hard right now, but CHILL OUT!!  I was diagnosed in March '06 and this IS still and will always be a big deal. When I found out, I felt like I melted in my chair and slid out onto the floor. 
     But, that was 4 years ago, and believe me, I still think about it from time to time, but at least not every day.  It's 2010 and they have some kick-ass drugs now-a-days.
     Jeepguy, that 27,612 in three months will be 276 or lower.  I didn't start medicine for 2 years.  Mine was 58,000 and in three months was 580.

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2010, 07:13:19 PM »
Hey new guys,
     My partner is not employed, by anyone else but me, and receives all of his HIV-related blood work, doctor visits, and medicine FREE through the state teaching hospital.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #15 on: August 24, 2010, 07:17:58 PM »
Is it wrong now to start having the feeling how and the hell am I going to pay for all this. Doctor
informed me yesterday that there are a handful of teat that needs to be done that insurance won't cover.

Do you have insurance? What treatments does your doc have in mind that won't be covered by insurance?

If you are going to start HAART right away, and you are a new conversion, and your numbers are good, don't you just need the HAART medicine?  What else? 
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2010, 07:25:43 PM »
yea,
    what other treatments are there?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2010, 08:04:39 PM »
yea,
    what other treatments are there?

Well, HAART is a catch-all phrase that includes dozens of different medications that are used in hundreds of combinations. If you get the chance, take a look through this site and familiarize yourself with the different drug regimen available.

And while there are plenty of folks in the world who would cheerfully take  your money, HAART drug therapy is the only thing we have discovered that reduces viral load and increases CD4 count in HIV infected people.

Welcome to the forums, BTW! Sorry you had to be here, but glad you found this place.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2010, 08:33:53 PM »
New guys,

       Pharmacist recomended drugs to ask your doctor to prescribe before or after starting HIV medications.


LOMOTIL - this will stop diarrhea - usually with one dose of two tablets, but can be repeated if needed with 1 tablet every 4 hors.

BENTYL - this is for cramps - take 20 mg with every dose of your HIV medicine

ACIDOPHILUS - this will control your intestinal flora so as to prevent diarrhea and cramping  Take with every dose of your HIV medicine. This is non-prescription

MILK THISEL - strengthins the liver that these pills may alter. This is non-prescription.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2010, 08:42:14 PM »
New guys,

       Pharmacist recomended drugs to ask your doctor to prescribe before or after starting HIV medications.


LOMOTIL - this will stop diarrhea - usually with one dose of two tablets, but can be repeated if needed with 1 tablet every 4 hors.

BENTYL - this is for cramps - take 20 mg with every dose of your HIV medicine

ACIDOPHILUS - this will control your intestinal flora so as to prevent diarrhea and cramping  Take with every dose of your HIV medicine. This is non-prescription

MILK THISEL - strengthins the liver that these pills may alter. This is non-prescription.



These are all assuming that the person is experiencing those symptoms over time. Often, side effects of meds dissipate over time. Thankfully, newer formulations of drugs, and entirely new classes of drugs, minimize those effects in many people. I myself am on Norvir, Truvada, Prezista, Dapsone, and Isentress. My side effect, headache, is treated with ibuprofen.

My liver is treated with bourbon.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #20 on: August 24, 2010, 09:16:57 PM »
     I treat my liver with a 50/50 of Smirnof/cheap vodka in a "BubbaKeg 52"......But, I take milk thistle.
Try it !  It keeps the ole' liver enzymes in check

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #21 on: August 24, 2010, 09:38:51 PM »
No,  I'm just advising these people before they even take the first pill, to be aware that there are prescription medicines that they can ask for to make the side effects a lot less awful. 

Offline mecch

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2010, 03:31:36 AM »
Shall we wait for clarification from the OP what costs are worrying, before we go off in a million tangents.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline JAdkinsPD

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2010, 05:26:33 AM »
PD = Doctor of Pharmacy

Offline Ann

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #24 on: August 25, 2010, 06:58:30 AM »
Milk thistle can mask liver damage while it's keeping your liver enzymes low. Not a good idea.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2010, 07:19:27 AM »
No "one" side effect exists with HIV medications, and I find it quite odd that any pharmacist and/or doctor would prescribe and/or recommend taking something as a prophylactic when in most cases it would be unwarranted.  I find this irresponsible.

Also, to PozJeepGuy -- welcome to the forums.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2010, 07:21:13 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2010, 07:23:36 AM »
No,  I'm just advising these people before they even take the first pill, to be aware that there are prescription medicines that they can ask for to make the side effects a lot less awful. 


Acidophilus and Milk Thistle are not prescription medications and frankly I find it suspect that a pharmacist would recommend herbal remedies.

Offline AaronbytheC

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2010, 01:27:29 PM »
Do you have insurance? What treatments does your doc have in mind that won't be covered by insurance?


Maybe Hep A/B vaccine? 

My Doc wants me to get them now that I have tested neg for both of them and have not been vaccinated.  My insurance wouldn't cover them.   ::)
04/2012 CD4 721 / 29% / VL UD
02/2011 UNDETECTABLE!
12/2010 CD4 587 / 24% / VL 210
11/2010 Started Atripla
10/2010 CD4 420 / 18% / VL 13,500
09/2010 CD4 541 / 17% / VL 10,500
08/2010 CD4 498 / 18% / VL Not Taken
07/2010 CD4 307 / 18% / VL 9,500
06/2010 Confirmed Poz
03/2010 Infected
06/2009 Neg

Offline Inchlingblue

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #28 on: August 25, 2010, 02:51:53 PM »
Maybe Hep A/B vaccine? 

My Doc wants me to get them now that I have tested neg for both of them and have not been vaccinated.  My insurance wouldn't cover them.   ::)

That's strange, they usually cover vaccines, since they are relatively inexpensive and definitely way cheaper than the treatment would cost if the person comes down with the disease.

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2010, 11:00:34 AM »
Aaron any idea how much the vaccines would cost out of pocket? Also I wonder what other vaccines are helpful in HIV pos patients?
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #30 on: August 26, 2010, 11:33:32 AM »
Also I wonder what other vaccines are helpful in HIV pos patients?

http://aids.about.com/od/vaccinesscreenings/a/vacguide.htm

If your doctor isn't doing this with a new patient then something is wrong, though if you've only had one appointment he may be waiting to do it the next visit as you probably just had umpteen vials of blood taken and maybe she'he didn't want to overwhelm you.

You should also get the swine flu thingie -- I actually was one of the misfortunate pozzies that came down with swine flu last october, and I lost HALF of all my t-cells, though they all came back later.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2010, 11:41:43 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #31 on: August 26, 2010, 11:56:28 AM »
Yeah I agree that my Doc was more concerned in assessing my status before getting into any other related issues. Wow the swine flu? That really sucks. Im glad you got your numbers back up :)
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline AaronbytheC

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #32 on: August 26, 2010, 01:59:57 PM »
Aaron any idea how much the vaccines would cost out of pocket? Also I wonder what other vaccines are helpful in HIV pos patients?

Not really sure of the cost, they said they could get around my insurance so I didn't worry about it ;D 

They did tell me that it's something like 5 shots (2 for A and 3 for B) over a period of time.
04/2012 CD4 721 / 29% / VL UD
02/2011 UNDETECTABLE!
12/2010 CD4 587 / 24% / VL 210
11/2010 Started Atripla
10/2010 CD4 420 / 18% / VL 13,500
09/2010 CD4 541 / 17% / VL 10,500
08/2010 CD4 498 / 18% / VL Not Taken
07/2010 CD4 307 / 18% / VL 9,500
06/2010 Confirmed Poz
03/2010 Infected
06/2009 Neg

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #33 on: August 28, 2010, 05:43:45 AM »
Sorry for the freak out the other day folks.  It was just telling my mom was a hard thing to do, as I'm sure some of you know.  The past few days we have talked and she is being great. I have to admit for this to be happening I have only had support and kind words from friends and family.  Hell even my work is way cool.  Another reason I freaked out is I am a chef.  I thought I had just killed my career.  Turns out yea I need to be some what more on the careful side but I have to admit I have been blessed by all those around me. 

You know when I told you the doctor said there would be test that insurance won't cover, I really can't remember which ones.  Because I read on here is the only reason I even asked for a copy of my test results.  So, thanks that was great advice.  Next advice I need to take is take a pencil and paper and make sure I start writing all this down. 

Ohhhhh, I had a wonderful call from the CDC today, saying we need to do a sexual background and ask some questions.  That seems like a great time.  They are even going to be nice enough to meet me at my first meeting with my new case worker or what ever it is called case manager something like that on Monday
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #34 on: August 28, 2010, 09:54:15 AM »
Ohhhhh, I had a wonderful call from the CDC today, saying we need to do a sexual background and ask some questions.  That seems like a great time.  They are even going to be nice enough to meet me at my first meeting with my new case worker or what ever it is called case manager something like that on Monday

I'm pretty sure you mean the department of health not the CDC.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #35 on: August 28, 2010, 10:54:49 AM »
Thanks for the correction
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #36 on: August 29, 2010, 01:41:29 AM »
So heres where I could use some help.  Went out with some friends the other night. Meet a really cute guy but because I'm not ready yet to discuss it out side my circle of friends and family I find myself avoiding talking to the guy.  When do you tell someone that your interested in that your poz.  Yes I know you wouldn't say something the night you meet someone.  It just got me thinking "well shit, how does this work."  So I thought I would ask you guys for some advice.  How do you share the news. 

Actually I have a small list of questions that
 come to mind, and thought I would see how some of you deal with these.  Thanks in advance for your input. 
1. If you were to have a one nighter and you practice safe sex do you still tell the person. 

2. Do you know or have you known of  two poz. people having unprocted sex and have gotten worse because of it.  (Yes I KNOW THIS A NO NO BUT JUST WONDERING)

3. What is HARRT

4. Is anyone or do you know of anyone in the START program (A drug trial)
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #37 on: August 29, 2010, 02:04:39 AM »
1. Do a forums search for "disclosure". I guarantee you'll never ask that question again.

2. Superinfection/re-infection is what I think you're asking here. It's actually a quite rare and not worth all the fuss made about it. I'm not personally aware of anyone who's had an issue with it. I think a forums member called Nestor may have but I can't be sure.

3. HAART stands for Highly Active Anti Retroviral Therapy.

4. Nope.

MtD

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,110
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #38 on: August 29, 2010, 12:24:48 PM »
So heres where I could use some help.  Went out with some friends the other night. Meet a really cute guy but because I'm not ready yet to discuss it out side my circle of friends and family I find myself avoiding talking to the guy.  When do you tell someone that your interested in that your poz.  Yes I know you wouldn't say something the night you meet someone.  It just got me thinking "well shit, how does this work."  So I thought I would ask you guys for some advice.  How do you share the news. 

Actually I have a small list of questions that
 come to mind, and thought I would see how some of you deal with these.  Thanks in advance for your input. 
1. If you were to have a one nighter and you practice safe sex do you still tell the person. 

2. Do you know or have you known of  two poz. people having unprocted sex and have gotten worse because of it.  (Yes I KNOW THIS A NO NO BUT JUST WONDERING)

3. What is HARRT

4. Is anyone or do you know of anyone in the START program (A drug trial)


1. This is really up to you, as matty said we've talked about it til we're blue in the face.  Some states in the US you are legally mandated to disclose.

2.  I personally don't even believe in superinfection specifically if one or both parties are on HAART

3.  What matty said.

4.  No

Offline Nestor

  • Member
  • Posts: 430
  • What we love, we shall grow to resemble.
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #39 on: August 29, 2010, 09:23:13 PM »
So heres where I could use some help.  Went out with some friends the other night. Meet a really cute guy but because I'm not ready yet to discuss it out side my circle of friends and family I find myself avoiding talking to the guy.  When do you tell someone that your interested in that your poz.  Yes I know you wouldn't say something the night you meet someone.  It just got me thinking "well shit, how does this work."  So I thought I would ask you guys for some advice.  How do you share the news. 

Actually I have a small list of questions that
 come to mind, and thought I would see how some of you deal with these.  Thanks in advance for your input. 
1. If you were to have a one nighter and you practice safe sex do you still tell the person. 

2. Do you know or have you known of  two poz. people having unprocted sex and have gotten worse because of it.  (Yes I KNOW THIS A NO NO BUT JUST WONDERING)

3. What is HARRT

4. Is anyone or do you know of anyone in the START program (A drug trial)


1.  I'm still having a lot of trouble with that myself, and I've been living with this for a number of years.  A number of guys have run in the opposite direction as soon as I told them I had HIV, and after a while that gets to be tough.  But on the other hand, if you don't tell the guy and then things develop, what do you do?  Tell him after sleeping with him?  My own best idea is this: start as friends, see how much you like him.  If things seem likely to turn romantic, tell him then.  Sorry not to have a more helpful answer, but there doesn't seem to be an easy solution. 

2. Yes, as Matty said there was some thought that I personally may have gotten re-infected.  If you look down at my labs below, you'll see that the penultimate one had a ridiculously high VL and a CD4 percentage that is technically AIDS-defining.  That was so unusual that re-infection was the first thing my doctor thought of.  However, it later turned out that there was another explanation and so the re-infection idea was more or less abandoned as unncessary, at least to explain my particular case.  Not, however, before I had done a lot of reading about it.  The facts seem to be: 1. It does happen, 2. but it is rather rare, and 3. in most cases it doesn't seem to have much effect in the long run.  It has, however, created some unpleasant short-term effects, such as going through sero-conversion illness all over again.  As far as people on HAART are concerned, I think there has been one single documented case of someone on HAART getting reinfected and becoming resistant to his meds as a result--that is what I remember from the discussion about it at the time.  One more point: many people state that re-infection is more possible or likely in the first two years after sero-conversion.  I don't know whether that is true and don't understand why it would be, (does something magical happen two years in?) but if you have been recently infected it is something to keep in mind. 

However, you asked not specifically about re-infection but whether two poz people having unprotected sex could get worse as a result.  There are a number of possibilities--syphilis, for example.  There is some debate about how easily Hep C can be transmitted through sex.  My own doctor warns that it can be and urges safe sex as a result.  Then there are CMV and the other herpes viruses, which can be reactivated through unsafe sex.  That is primarily a concern to someone not yet on HAART, like me, as reactivation of a herpes virus could lead to increased HIV activity and faster progression.  I had either a first CMV infection or a reactivation quite recently, probably due to possibly unsafe sex (long story) and it was not fun.  For these reasons, I myself will not have condomless sex with anyone, neg or poz.  But an informal survey of poz guys I meet online suggests that I am in the minority on this.   
Summer 2004--became HIV+
Dec. 2005--found out

Date          CD4    %       VL
Jan. '06    725    25      9,097
Nov. '06    671    34     52,202
Apr. '07    553    30      24,270
Sept. '07  685    27       4,849
Jan. '08    825    29       4,749
Mar. '08    751    30     16,026
Aug. '08    653    30       3,108
Oct. '08     819    28     10,046
Jan '09      547    31     13,000
May '09     645   25        6,478
Aug. '09    688   30      19,571
Nov. '09     641    27       9,598
Feb. '10     638    27       4,480
May '10      687      9    799,000 (CMV)
July '10      600     21      31,000
Nov '10      682     24     15,000
June '11     563    23     210,000 (blasto)
July  '11      530    22      39,000
Aug '11      677     22      21,000
Sept. '12    747     15      14,000

Offline PozJeepGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
  • Facebook - Jacob Perry
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #40 on: August 30, 2010, 02:02:41 AM »
Nestor you rock!!  That's the kind of answers I'm looking. You know I an aware that there is end less discusses on the subject of how to tell people. Maybe I worded the question the wrong way. It should have read as any one had any luck sharing and if so how did you present it so another could mock that delivery for a better result. Nestor thanks for just saying not really. It's honest to the point and real. I have heard so much about reinfection from my best friend and roommate and a damn good nurse that this is a big deal. But I'm getting the impression from poz people that it's not a big concern. However the irony here is the day before I tested positive my self I met a guy who was poz. Hit it off well and in the past few weeks have started hanging out. He been a great reference point to and refered me to the specialist I now have. So to cut threw all the bullshit and be honest we have hooked up a few times. Always safe. Then he asks me the other night how do I feel about bb. I said honestly well yea how else would I be in this boat lol. In the moment I said what the hell and went with the flow. In the moment I just thought well I already have it.  Now with a clear mind I'm thinking stupid move. I'm not on any meds yet. Only been ti the doc. Once.  Do I actually need to tell my doctor about this or learn and move on?
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline Nestor

  • Member
  • Posts: 430
  • What we love, we shall grow to resemble.
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #41 on: September 01, 2010, 12:54:37 PM »
Thanks, although I wish I had had something more helpful to say.  That's great that you met another poz guy and things seem to be going well.  As for whether you need to tell your doctor, I would think not unless there were some reason--say if you got sick.  My doctor periodically tests me for all the VDs anyway, and also asks me about my recent sex practices, and I think that's standard, so probably it will come up even if you don't volunteer the information. 
Summer 2004--became HIV+
Dec. 2005--found out

Date          CD4    %       VL
Jan. '06    725    25      9,097
Nov. '06    671    34     52,202
Apr. '07    553    30      24,270
Sept. '07  685    27       4,849
Jan. '08    825    29       4,749
Mar. '08    751    30     16,026
Aug. '08    653    30       3,108
Oct. '08     819    28     10,046
Jan '09      547    31     13,000
May '09     645   25        6,478
Aug. '09    688   30      19,571
Nov. '09     641    27       9,598
Feb. '10     638    27       4,480
May '10      687      9    799,000 (CMV)
July '10      600     21      31,000
Nov '10      682     24     15,000
June '11     563    23     210,000 (blasto)
July  '11      530    22      39,000
Aug '11      677     22      21,000
Sept. '12    747     15      14,000

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,564
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #42 on: September 05, 2010, 05:18:43 PM »
It depends on what type of person you are, which is why this "how do I know when to tell" eternal question is pointless.  If you're a horny fag that prefers anonymous sex in public parks, sex clubs and public toilets I seriously doubt you're going to be handing out IMMA POZZIE tea cards to every suitor.  I can also go out to gay bars week after week and meet similar, though slightly less sleazy, one nighters -- is it worth my time having an HIV talk with some guy I'm never going to see again?  And yes, when I pick them up I generally know it's just going be a fuck because they probably bore me in conversation but they have "huge uncut cock" written on their forehead.  OK, sometimes my "boyfriend radar" has been wildly off, so in that case if there's a date #2 then I can tell them (mind you, I always use a condom when I don't know someone's HIV status, and of course if they have the balls to ask me upfront I don't lie either, but I can't count on one finger the number of times someone has asked... they don't care).

That said, my last long-term partner who was negative I had sex with for like four days straight before telling him, so that was easily 6-7 different incidences of sex.  I would have had the conversation, but he was from out of town and I had no expectation of becoming lovers.  When it came time for him to go back home he said he wanted to keep seeing me, so I told him and because he wasn't an asshole there was no issue -- he was 35, lived in London, and had dated several HIV+ guys previously.  If you live in a big city and are dating guys that are "out" especially in "the scene" this is what you will encounter most of the time.

Oh, I rarely mention this because it was tired of me, but I once had sex for three months with a guy before I told him -- always with condoms, but I kept thinking it wasn't going to go anywhere because he was really short, had a needle dick, and I had to be the top.  But he was really sweet, was a talented artist, was Mexican and cooked amazing food all of the time, and liked to do similar things that I like -- this was only maybe a year after my diagnosis so I it was the first time I needed to have "teh AIDS" talk, and I didn't do it very well -- he freaked out, and I reminded him that every time we had had sex we had used a condom.  He then apologized to me the next day for freaking out, saying he knew perfectly well that we'd not had any unsafe sex and that it was no different than having one-nighters with condoms -- the issue was more of why I hadn't felt comfortable trusting him with the information, on an emotional level.  I didn't have the heart to explain the real reason, that I wasn't quite sure I was interested in something more long term, as I don't do long term very well regardless of HIV, so I just blamed it on it being the first time I had to deal with the conversation, which was partly true.

Sorry to ramble, but the bottom line is that everyone does something different and it's dependent on what crowd you travel with, and if you're a habitual boyfriend shopper (which I'm not) or just a run-of-the-mill Party Girl Whore.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline PozJeepGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
  • Facebook - Jacob Perry
Re: Just tested and confirmed positive.
« Reply #43 on: September 15, 2010, 02:21:15 PM »
Hello to all and hope everyone is doing good. So just eecieved round two of results and I am surprised and somewhat releived at them. Cd4 762   37.9%. Vrl 58,500. It's nice to know my body is doing ok and also gives some peace of mind. No meds as of yet, but seeing that vrl load double In a month just confirms my decisin to start meds now because I want to hear undectable. Mentaly some days are better of course but still finding myself pretty pissed off. 

So I have my wonderful first side effect of this. Hot and cold flashes. I thankgod it happened in the doctors office so she could see it.  Damn they are wicked little things. Any home remedidies out there any one has.

Personally again I want to say thankyou to everyone for the words of incouragement and be real. It makes the road a little less bumpy.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

 


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