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Author Topic: Lousy way to start a Friday  (Read 6620 times)

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Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,396
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Lousy way to start a Friday
« on: June 02, 2006, 10:19:28 AM »
Just got a call from someone who told me he is waiting on an ambulance to take him to the hospital.

He told me he wants to die. He said he is tired of fighting AIDS, has made his final plans, gave away his dog, who has been with him for years, and fully intends for this to be his final journey.

I respect his decision and, frankly, saw it coming. Still, this is a sad time because, even though this guy could drive you crazy, I will miss him if, indeed, he follows through with this.

Just wanted to vent.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2006, 10:32:10 AM »
Mark...  I truly understand.  When David gave up...it was obvious and although I wanted
desperately to keep him with me, I had to respect his decision.  I know how hard this is
for you but don't let this diminish your own spirit.  But you're right...it is a lousy way to
start the day.  Keep your chin up, good buddy! :-*
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2006, 10:32:44 AM »
Hi Mark,

Yes, these calls can work your last Gay nerve.  I do also understand his need to follow through with this, but please see if there is a hospice anywhere near his location, as this is a far better demise than to go all the way to a hospital.  Also the cost to Ryan White is less and that is now important.  

Other than that, if he dies in a Hospice, as opposed to a hospital, will the state of New Mexico take up the cost of burial in any case?  I know if he is a veteran, the place of his death makes a difference in his burial.  

Thinking of you today.  

In Love and Support.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2006, 10:33:35 AM »
Sending you hugs and know that you and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love
 Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline doyourowndamndishes

  • Member
  • Posts: 85
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2006, 10:34:39 AM »
Hey Mark,

Sorry to hear such bummer news.  Wish I could be of more help but my thoughts will be with you and your friend.

Hugz!

"All that we are is theresult of what we have thought." -Buddha

Offline Markmt

  • Member
  • Posts: 175
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2006, 11:35:02 AM »
I'm sorry to read that Mark. I know how depressing that can be, and lost for words in circumstances like these. As it has been said I hope it does not dampen your own spirit.

"Live to love and love to live."

Leo Buscaglia

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2006, 12:15:20 PM »
I'm sorry Mark. You will be in my thoughts today.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Terry

  • Member
  • Posts: 339
  • 7/13/82 Infected
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2006, 12:38:52 PM »
Mark, this is one of those times when (No matter how difficult) you just have to be there for your friend.

I'll keep you both in my thoughts today.

Terry

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,680
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2006, 03:14:38 PM »
Mark, this is tough stuff.

Whichever way it goes, this is one helluva rollercoaster.

And however things go with your friend, you're in our thoughts.

Make sure somewhere in this Friday there is something that gives you pleasure.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Optimistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 326
  • An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctors Away!
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2006, 06:24:54 PM »
Sorry this had to happen to your friend.  my thoughts are with you both.  I hope he doesn't go through with this and the battle of Aids will be less tough if he does get pass this.

Justin
12/06 (Atripla): cd4 - 260; cd% - 33%; vl - 169
1/07 (Atripla): cd4 - 267; cd% - 38.1%; vl - 132
4/07 (Atripla): cd4 - 373; cd% - 33.9%; vl - <50
7/07 (Atripla); cd4 - 287; cd% - 35.8%; vl - <50
9/07 (Atripla); cd4 - 356; cd% - 39.5%; vl - <50
12/07 (Atripla); cd4 - 517

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,145
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2006, 06:37:16 PM »
Hello Mark,

Yes, this is certainly tough stuff to deal with. I am sorry that you have to go through this. My thoughts go out to you and your friend, Remain strong.



Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2006, 06:44:45 PM »
Mark, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.

You both are in my thoughts tonight.

Take good care of yourself

Hugs

Offline Biggums

  • Member
  • Posts: 199
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2006, 06:48:08 PM »
Mark,

I am sorry to hear about your friend.  Please know you both are in my thoughts tonight.  Bless you for being a friend that he could confide in.  We all need that.
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #13 on: June 02, 2006, 07:48:16 PM »
Mark,

My thoughts are with you and your friend at this time. I will keep you both in my daily anxieties.

MtD

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2006, 08:11:01 PM »
Dearest Mark

My thoughts are with you today...one of my dearest friends passed away on Monday, I didn't want her to go,  but I didn't want her to suffer either, she gave up the fight because she just couldn't go on, the pain was too much for her...there is a limit to what our bodies can handle, I'm sorry you are going through this, it's never easy.

(((hugs)))
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #15 on: June 02, 2006, 08:39:23 PM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 10:05:15 PM by Iggy »

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2006, 09:10:32 AM »
Mark

Thinking of you and hoping that the man you mentioned finds peace and comfort in his decision.

RAB


Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #17 on: June 03, 2006, 10:58:17 AM »
I am sorry about your friend. That is a horrible call to receive. But, I can't say that I don't understand how he feels. I think when the time comes, it should be honored, and treated with dignity and respect.

I guess I have a Native American view of death. I see death as another part of ones existence. I think the spirit and soul of our loved ones are always with us. Just in a different form.

I second what Moffie said about a hospice. I think it will be more comfortable for him.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline zephyr

  • Member
  • Posts: 459
    • Zephyr L.T.N.P. Foundation, Inc.
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2006, 05:35:07 PM »
Mark, dear...

My thoughts are with you and your friend, sorry to hear about this call.

You are such a compassionate person, I know this is very hard on you.

I am sending all my best to this individual, as he struggles with AIDS.

Love,

Zephyr
"It is character that communicates most eloquently."

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #19 on: June 03, 2006, 05:51:16 PM »
Hi Mark, Very sorry to hear he is giving up! We all deal with this HIV in different ways. While I respect ones wishes to do what they want, as long as there is a breath of life in my body I intend to fight like hell. I watched my wife of 15 years die, we spent her last 21 days in the hospitol, and she showed me how to fight like hell and to never give up. I feel I owe it to her to never ever give up. Sadly, death is part of life. But hey I feel there is a bright side too: I know my wife is in a better place now! So hang in there and don't get down!
Positive since 1985

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,680
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #20 on: June 03, 2006, 06:12:05 PM »
How's your day today, Mark? Just wondering....
Andy Velez

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,396
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2006, 06:21:51 PM »
Thanks all for your great support. I really needed it and do appreciate it very much.

Andy, I'm doing better today. I am working on getting this person into a residential unit in Albuquerque. While he has given up, his body is still not ready to quit just yet. So, until he needs hospice, I will try to get him into a place where he can at least be comfortable and where services are closer than they are here.

All in all, Friday was horrid, but today is better.

Thanks again,

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Lousy way to start a Friday
« Reply #22 on: June 03, 2006, 06:37:43 PM »


 You are a good man Mark. I can only hope to have a person of your caliber in my existence, when my time grows near.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

 


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