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Author Topic: The stories don't match the dogma..  (Read 4176 times)

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Offline Worried One

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The stories don't match the dogma..
« on: August 09, 2010, 04:12:46 PM »
I had unprotected oral and protected vaginal with quite a sick looking sex worker (coughing, with very poor oral health). 3.5 weeks post exposure, I developed a retro-orbital headache, mouth ulcers, a burning sensation all over my skin which persists to this day (9 weeks).

I had a negative 3rd gen antibody test at 7 weeks. According to the info out there, I should be pretty reassured by this BUT

- I have had a long "viral" like illness
- If you look at the postings in the "how was your seroconversion" forum, two things are apparrent. 1. Many people become infected after practising what they thought was safe sex; and 2. An awful lot of people still test negative at what would be more than 6 weeks after exposure. Reading these stories, you wonder why they suggest 6 weeks at all.

I know my behaviour was low risk... but then there are my symtpoms, and the stories. Very confused, and worried.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 04:31:47 PM »
Nothing you are reporting put you at risk for HIV transmission, no matter how your doubts and fears and symptoms tell you otherwise. You used a condom for intercourse and that's the most important thing.

There is nothing HIV-specific about any of your symptoms, which is not surprising to us. You didn't have a risk. Whatever is going on symptomatically is something for your to discuss with your doctor. This is not an HIV situation. And there is no need for HIV testing.
Andy Velez

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2010, 04:08:03 AM »
I very much appreciate your advice. I'm not sure if you looked at the forum I mentioned.... but several posts do seem at odds with what is widely stated about risk, and also the relevance of the six week test.

In any case, you have assured this somewhat pathetic member of the worried well  :)

You wanna know something really weird? 2 years ago I had a relationship with virtual stranger from Eastern Europe, which involved unprotected sex from the word go. And I didn't freak out about that at all. Bizarre.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2010, 08:37:50 AM »
As long as you consistently without exception continue to use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV. It really is that simple.

Other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. So we do advise that anyone who is sexually active ought to have a full STD panel done at least annually.   
Andy Velez

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2010, 01:39:46 AM »
Thanks. I truly hope you're right. This CSW really did look like she had end stage AIDS, and bleeding gums were a definite possibility (for what it's worth I didn't notice blood on my penis - although it was dark).

Can you also comment on the amount of people that still test negative well after 6 weeks post exposure and well after the onset of seroconversion symptoms?

Cheers

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2010, 03:06:11 AM »
Thanks. I truly hope you're right. This CSW really did look like she had end stage AIDS, and bleeding gums were a definite possibility (for what it's worth I didn't notice blood on my penis - although it was dark).

Can you also comment on the amount of people that still test negative well after 6 weeks post exposure and well after the onset of seroconversion symptoms?

Cheers

She looked like she had end stage AIDS? What would you know about how people with end stage AIDS look? Nothing, that's what.

Andy has already explained to you that you were not at risk of HIV infection. HIV isn't about how people look, it's about what they do. And you didn't do anything risky, at least in terms of HIV.

MtD

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2010, 05:07:09 AM »
She looked like she had end stage AIDS? What would you know about how people with end stage AIDS look.

More than you might think actually - but if my choice of words caused offence in any way, I apologise. I'm just going out of my mind, that's all. If I didn't have all these symptoms, I could be more rational. Thanks for your patience.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2010, 05:17:00 AM »
More than you might think actually - but if my choice of words caused offence in any way, I apologise. I'm just going out of my mind, that's all. If I didn't have all these symptoms, I could be more rational. Thanks for your patience.



If you knew anything about end stage AIDS (or HIV in general) you wouldn't be here asking these questions, so don't flatter yourself.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2010, 07:06:05 AM »
Worried,

Look mate, you got a blowjob, get over it. Getting a blowjob isn't a risk for hiv infection and neither is protected intercourse. What some newly diagnosed people write about what they think - or much more to the point, want others to think - about how they got infected is irrelevant to this forum. Here we only talk about the scientific facts surrounding transmission. And the scientific facts about transmission regarding your experience are that you did not have a risk.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv as you did not have a risk.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2010, 06:59:23 PM »
Tested negative at 12 weeks (I can see you all rolling your eyes)  ;)

Redricky - if you're reading this, can I say my symptoms exactly mirrored yours - burning, searing pains, mouth feeling disgusting and fleeting bright red spots which come and go.

Many thanks to the moderators, you guys have wonderful patience and empathy.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2010, 07:00:52 PM »
Time to accept that negative result and move on.

MtD

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2010, 01:20:21 AM »
Sorry, I know you guys are not responsible for what appears on other sites etc.etc., but I had to share this:

As for HIV diagnostic testing, the HIV-antibody test at three months (six months for a "significant" exposure) is still considered the gold standard

from this link

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/SafeSex/Current/Q210786.html

What sort of bollocks is that? Ok, so person no. one had receptive unprotected anal sex, therefore needs testing out to 6 months, but person no. two only had insertive unprotecetd vaginal sex, therefore his window period is three months?

I can see from a population perspective this sort of approach would lead to a decent 'hit rate' (ie. you'd have to test a gizillion low-riskers before you found one that didn't convert by 3 months) but from the point of view of the individual, this sort of advice is useless.

Or am I missing the point??

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2010, 01:35:27 AM »
Getting a blowjob is not considered a risk for HIV. Period.

And the CDC, notoriously conservative in it's advice, has held a three month window for years now.

I am sorry if some sites are scientifically inaccurate. This one is not.

And yes, you are missing the salient points I outlined above.

You had no risk.

Testing window for the general public is three months.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2010, 08:02:39 AM »
You're HIV negative. You also need to know that you are not going to be allowed to continue returning here repeatedly when we know that you have reliably tested negative. Don't thank us for our patience because there ain't none left. If you have lingering symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. HIV is not your problem. Period.

You need to get on with your life and stop all this drama. Be glad you're negative and protect that gift by always without exception using condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse.

Now get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2010, 06:45:12 PM »
Hi there

Is there any evidence that people who contract HIV from a lower risk exposure (and therfore receive less virus) exhibit a different seroconversion time-course than those (the majority) who receive the virus through a high risk exposure?

Thanks :)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2010, 06:57:38 PM »
Hi there

Is there any evidence that people who contract HIV from a lower risk exposure (and therfore receive less virus) exhibit a different seroconversion time-course than those (the majority) who receive the virus through a high risk exposure?

Thanks :)

No.

Go away and get on with your life.

MtD

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2010, 07:02:40 PM »
If my symptoms would, then I would - believe me.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2010, 07:52:55 PM »
   Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2010, 07:55:09 PM »
Hi there

Is there any evidence that people who contract HIV from a lower risk exposure (and therfore receive less virus) exhibit a different seroconversion time-course than those (the majority) who receive the virus through a high risk exposure?

Thanks :)

As has been stated above, the answer is NO. Regardless of the exposure, seroconversion takes the same amount of time.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2010, 11:09:38 PM »
Worried,

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Its nothing to do with hiv. You have tested conclusively hiv negative over a NO RISK blowjob and protected intercourse.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Worried One

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2014, 11:24:17 PM »
This is a link  to a very panicked time I had back in 2010.

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=33902.msg420050#msg420050

What followed was three years of anxiety, various psychosomatic symptoms, and in general a pretty crap existence. Actual HIV anxiety largely disappeared after a year or so; but by then I was sure I had any one of a bunch of other diseases.

Lessons.
1. Don't engage in any sexual situation where if it goes wrong, you think you might not be able to cope with it. But if you're here, it's probably too late.
2. These guys know what they're talking about. You are *not* the exception. Follow their advice - not least of which is to keep busy, and stay the f*ck off your computer (I didn't do this). Obsessive behaviour will cause your anxiety to spin out of control, and the thing is - it's insidious. At the time, I thought I was fairly level headed, but man I was so *not*.
3. Thanks for all the help received.

Online Jeff G

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Re: The stories don't match the dogma..
« Reply #21 on: May 17, 2014, 09:31:29 AM »
You're Welcome . Please only post in this one thread no matter the subject matter or how long between visits to the forum . You can find this thread by visiting your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here .
« Last Edit: May 17, 2014, 09:35:34 AM by Jeff G »

 


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