HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

fatigue - headache - rash on bottom of feet - 3 protected encounters + 1 possibl

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JimR:
The Situation

I think I have contracted HIV, I am showing all the symptoms. I know I should get tested and I already scheduled an appointemnt to test.

The issue is that I have probably contracted HIV in a moment of druken weakness with some woman I met in bar.

I am also in a 10 year old relationship with what must be the best woman on earth.

I love her deeply. My dileemma is what should I do if I am +.
The biggest problem is if she is + as well, although after the incident I always had safe sex with her.

My family is also a problem, coming from a deep christian background I am not sure my 60+ parents can take the news.

I am thinking that it is better to make a decision prior to the result as post the result I would not be in a state to make any wise decisions.


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My view on giving H to some one.

My perception on giving HIV to some one is murder and I think it should be dealt with by oneself and others as such - period. Let's not fool around with this, many of you may play with the idea that this is not, but I urge you to look deeper.

The fact that I even have exposed her to such a risk I fell I am guilty of attempted murder.

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My symotoms and case

I have depression + flu like symptoms (10 days) + loss of apetite + bubble like things on the sides of my toungue.My hope is a Herpes simplex outbreak caused by all this stress and anxiety.

The case I was drunk and not sure what happened, I think the anal sex was protected but then I am not sure I am sure I had unprotected Vaginal sex on two occasions in the 24 hour period.

Every time she snezzes is like some one drawing a stake in my heart, but up to now there no sore throat she has a blocked nose when se wakes up.

I am going to an anonyomus clinic later today and then another one next week. Tonight's clinic delivers results days later and thus will not know my exact fate next week.

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My true options and the big dillema

Result negative or positive.

Negative.

All is well and good, I am making an eternal promise to myslef no fooling around anymore I will buy an engagment ring she has been asking me for quite some time.

Positive.

There are 2 scenarios I envisage in a + result.

Option A:

Get her tested and see the result if she is positive then .. not sure

If she is negative obviosly she will leve me if not I will leave her. Then I would have to deal with her loss plus my terminal illness.

The problem with the above is not knowing if she will get a + result or not. If I knew she was negative than I will probably seriously consider staying around for a while longer. Probably leaving my job and go and live somewhere to enjoy the rest of my days.

But how can I get her tested without the emotinal stress that will be the result of this. I cannot bring myslef to look her in the eye and tell her listen love "I am H+, there is a 3/100 chance I have given it to you. I would like you to get tested." I do not have the strength to do that - considering at that time that I would be dealing internally with my + result.

Option B:

I have no clue.


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Well I promise to reply and seriously consider all your opinions and comments.

4 DAYS TO GO
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Jim

Matty the Damned:
OK Jim,

I think it's about time for you to settle down here. Making threats of self harm is a pretty serious state of affairs and I would urge you to seek the attention of a mental health worker.

Given the dramatic and dire nature of your comments, I've reported this thread.

MtD

JimR:
Well I am not giong to harm myself do not worry.
I am just super anxious, no need to report me anywhere I came here to seek help not the get reported!
Jesus.. I thought this was a place where one finds shleter!
Thanks anyway.

RapidRod:
What do you expect when before you edited your post you had Option B: Exit?? People here care, if you haven't figured that out.

Ann:
Jim,

You need to know that symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Only the appropriate test at the appropriate time will reliably reveal your hiv status. Although you have had a risk, the risk is somewhat less for the insertive partner. The odds are in your favour of coming out of this with negative results. You don't even know if the woman you were with is actually hiv positive.

You need to test at 12-13 weeks after this encounter. The vase majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, so a negative result at this point would be a very good indication of your true status, but MUST be confirmed at the three month point.

Nothing you have reported in the way of symptoms points to hiv. Nothing.

Ann

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