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Author Topic: Having unprotected gay sex........  (Read 20472 times)

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Offline bryan21

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  • Posts: 120
Having unprotected gay sex........
« on: August 01, 2010, 11:24:19 PM »
okay!
So i have been poz. for about four mths now.At first i completely shut off people i basically hid(and I'm still hiding),but now that i have come to "kinda" accept the fact that i have HIV.I started to look for others who also have HIV. I have noticed by talking to numerous gay HIV positive males that they have unprotected sex with other HIV positive males (and negative males). Now i have read a lot of information that says you can get infected with HIV more then once,and that you can become "super" infected. And that you can get more amounts of "drug" resistant   stains. Also when i went to the doctor she also told me the same thing and that i shouldn't have unprotected sex period. So i guess my question is why would an HIV positive male have unprotected sex with another positive(and negative) male if there is a risk of becoming infected(or infecting another) by a potentially more progressive, more drug resistant stain of HIV,(and then turn around and have unprotected sex with an HIV negative male?).
Also i have noticed that people that have had HIV for longer periods of time have kinda "went back to there old ways." in a sense that they "calmed down" when they were first diagnosed but then as time went on just kinda "got use to" there status and just went back to there old ways. i.e. partying, drugs, sex,etc...it's just all every strange to me what people do!? Like i don't understand? it makes me go wow! your silly and foolish!! :o
it also makes me feel very disappointed in people that do the things they do.   :-[

Offline bryan21

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  • Posts: 120
Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2010, 11:29:38 PM »
oh!
And do you remember that horrible,lost,sad,shocked,crushed,i can't believe it, Im going to dye feeling you had when you were told that you are positive?
How could you (even if the other person wants it) have unprotected sex with someone who is negative?

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2010, 11:32:07 PM »
Are you asking a question or simply throwing judgment around?  I'm not sure what your real intention is.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline bryan21

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2010, 11:39:57 PM »
Are you asking a question or simply throwing judgment around?  I'm not sure what your real intention is.


well no Im not!?
i just don't understand or get it?
Im not trying to judge anyone. You can do what you want that's up to you, and i don't care as long as it doesn't effect me personally. I would just like to know the thought behind the action?
because i don't understand??
So my intention is trying to see something from some other point of view. 

Offline max123

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2010, 11:51:57 PM »
So i guess my question is why would an HIV positive male have unprotected sex with another positive(and negative) male if there is a risk of becoming infected(or infecting another) by a potentially more progressive, more drug resistant stain of HIV,(and then turn around and have unprotected sex with an HIV negative male?).
bryan,

firstly, don't be sexist. secondly, focus on yourself and start deciding where you are in terms of sexual comfort with another person, whether they're poz or neg. stds are a 2 way street and you need to simply devise and execute some boundaries to keep yourself  (and others) healthy....especially in a casual sex situation, aka a hookup. being poz doesn't mean that you (or anyone else) will never knock boots again...just do it intelligently, in a way that is right for you & enjoy

Edited to add: "it makes me go wow! your silly and foolish!! Shocked
it also makes me feel very disappointed in people that do the things they do".


are in fact, judgmental comments...think about it
« Last Edit: August 01, 2010, 11:56:22 PM by max123 »
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2010, 11:58:30 PM »
Are you asking a question or simply throwing judgment around?  I'm not sure what your real intention is.

Folks that ask rhetorical questions aren't looking for answers.

Offline bryan21

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2010, 12:02:53 AM »
Folks that ask rhetorical questions aren't looking for answers.


oh ?
That was rhetorical i never can tell?

Offline bryan21

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2010, 12:09:51 AM »
Edited to add: "it makes me go wow! your silly and foolish!! Shocked
it also makes me feel very disappointed in people that do the things they do".


are in fact, judgmental comments...think about it
[/quote]


dam! that is judgmental isn't it!?
so just omit that part,and forgive me!
:)

Offline tokyodecadence

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2010, 12:14:25 AM »
.....Christ on a bike.
[.Fodão.]

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2010, 12:27:20 AM »
Hi Bryan:

I appreciate that you are seeking answers on your questions.  I really do.  I know that before (when you had first got on the forums) you got blasted for expressing some of your views, thoughts, opinions in other threads.  So, I give you a lot of credit, because you started a thread where you could directly express what was on your mind.

I think that you are venting your feelings and thoughts about what some people do.  I guess the best way to answer it would be with other similar questions:
1) Why do people go over the speed limit when they know it results in more accidents?
2) Why do people smoke cigarettes or use drug (i.e. coke, heroin, etc) when they know that drugs can harm
3) Why do people physically fight with others in an argument?
4) Why do people eat fatty foods or other unhealthy types of foods?
5) Why do people.....

Do you get the idea?  People are people.  We live. We make decisions (some good, some not so good) - but each person is given free will to do what they do.  And, most decisions are subjective, meaning that in one person's eyes it may be a good idea and to someone else it may not be.  While it is okay to disagree with someone - and to have a different opinion about something - what most people are looking for is support - to me, support means, you are there for the person no matter what their decisions are, whether you agree or disagree with what they do (or don't do).  It doesn't make you any better or the other person any better or worse to have a decision or a lifestyle or outlook that differs from yours.  

You will find on these forums that there are many different beliefs and opinions about a host of things - there are some members who I disagree with and may even vent that, but I also always want to be sure that I am clear that it is my opinion and that does not make it any better or worse then their opinion.  I also want to be supportive.  Show support, voice YOUR opinion, but allow others to voice theirs - re-read your posts before you hit the post button to make sure that what you are saying reflects that --- Also, know ahead of time whether or not you are going to really "be satisfied" with whatever answer/response you may get.

Once again, thanks for posting - because I really don't think it was your intent to cause harm by posting what you did --- hope this helps.... might not have answered your question, but all the same, I hope it helps to clarify that people are people....
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline wtfimpoz

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2010, 01:24:21 AM »
okay!
So i have been poz. for about four mths now.At first i completely shut off people i basically hid(and I'm still hiding),but now that i have come to "kinda" accept the fact that i have HIV.I started to look for others who also have HIV. I have noticed by talking to numerous gay HIV positive males that they have unprotected sex with other HIV positive males (and negative males). Now i have read a lot of information that says you can get infected with HIV more then once,and that you can become "super" infected. And that you can get more amounts of "drug" resistant   stains. Also when i went to the doctor she also told me the same thing and that i shouldn't have unprotected sex period. So i guess my question is why would an HIV positive male have unprotected sex with another positive(and negative) male if there is a risk of becoming infected(or infecting another) by a potentially more progressive, more drug resistant stain of HIV,(and then turn around and have unprotected sex with an HIV negative male?).
Also i have noticed that people that have had HIV for longer periods of time have kinda "went back to there old ways." in a sense that they "calmed down" when they were first diagnosed but then as time went on just kinda "got use to" there status and just went back to there old ways. i.e. partying, drugs, sex,etc...it's just all every strange to me what people do!? Like i don't understand? it makes me go wow! your silly and foolish!! :o
it also makes me feel very disappointed in people that do the things they do.   :-[

1)  As near as I can tell, the whole "Superinfection"/resistant strain thing is considered pretty dubious science.  Many people consider it a small risk to take in light of the pleasure it affords them.  Would I recommend this risk?  No, after getting it despite taking what I believed to be "reasonable" precautions, I'm pretty much afraid to leave my condo, and assume every single doomsday study is completely true.  If someone is upfront about their behavior, I wouldn't really condemn them though.

2)  Its not just those who've had it "for a long time".  Scan Barebackrt.com, there are plenty of gay men of all ages doing this.  Its not like today's gays are exactly sexual prudes. 

3)  Just some perspective:  I wonder how much of the behavior you see from those unconcerned with superinfection is a result of pre-existing emotional issues.  I actually made  a half hearted attempt at stupid crazy sex this evening.  No luck, which made everything worse.  It was because I felt so bad about everything, i just wanted to feel sexy, to feel worthy, and frankly, the costs seemed like benefits.  My infection is slowly peeling back the layers of my life, day by day and week by week.  The future is more uncertain now than ever, but I'm supposed to keep hacking through the daily grind like I give a shit.  My partner is afraid to be in the same room with me and every time he gets the sniffles he is convinced he's gotten my virus, despite us NOT having had sex.  I told him he was being ridiculous, and he actually told me I needed to "see it from his perspective".  See WHAT from his perspective?  That he's concerned the disease is fucking airborn?  Its not like my dating options are that good if he leaves me either:  I scanned poz personals.  Of the ten guys on it, I think, maybe, one was within a decade of my age.  Paranoia has completely consumed me.  I live in constant fear that I'll be "found out".  Socially, I'm as good as a pariah.  I can't commit suicide, but I pray for some random accident.  More often than not, I wish it was 1986 so I could just fucking die in a few years and get it over with, instead I'm going to have to endure 40 more fucking years of this bullshit,not knowing whether there is anything down the road worth living for.  Even the fucking lepers of yesterday got to live amongst themselves and experience a degree of normalcy in that.  HIV is a horrible, horrible fucking thing, and the fact that it robs you of your life is only the tip of the iceberg.  Speeding up one's demise with the joys of sex may seem reasonable to someone who hasn't personally seen what the virus can do.  Not saying this is a good idea of course, but "sex as suicide" could be a rational cause for this lack of concern.

4)  One of the few things that keeps me going is the moral superiority of knowing that I likely haven't visited this atrocity on anyone else.    That said, if you're honest about your status, I don't condemn anyone for engaging in consensual behavior with other adults.  Besides, how many of these "neg" guys who willingly bareback with positive guys are really "neg"?  For that matter, how many of these "neg" guys who only bareback with other guys who say they're "neg" are really neg?  How long can any of these people plan to stay that way?  Pozzing the naieve or reasonably cautious is a terrible thing.  Hastening the inevitable...not so much. 

5)  Try not to judge others so much.  This disease is already overly-moralized.  It doesn't need the contributions of someone who should be aware that its not the exclusive domain of meth addicts and sex fiends.

6)  The rest of you, try not to judge this guy.  He's young and clearly has baggage related to not just his virus but also his sexuality.  Its a gotta be a tough pill to swallow all at once.  Its very easy to look at what he writes and think "wow, what an assclown", but he's just trying to work through his own issues in saying the stuff he does.  Every single negative thing gay or poz people do, he now interprets through society's lens that "thats how they got it", and he attempts to differentiate himself through his condemnation.  Correct him.  Reassure him.  Then move on.  This forum has a lot of great support and a lot of strong personalities with a lot of insightful things to say.  Unfortunantely, a lot of you tend to forget "what it was like" to experience what he's going through.
09/01/2009-neg
mid april, 2010, "flu like illness".
06/01/2010-weakly reactive ELISA, indeterminant WB
06/06/2010-reactive ELISA, confirmed positive.

DATE       CD4     %     VL
07/15/10  423     33    88k
08/28/10  489     19    189k
09/06/10-Started ATRIPLA
09/15/10  420     38    1400
11/21/10  517     25    51

Offline leatherman

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2010, 01:45:44 AM »
So i guess my question is why would an HIV positive male have unprotected sex with another positive(and negative) male if there is a risk of becoming infected(or infecting another) by a potentially more progressive, more drug resistant stain of HIV,(and then turn around and have unprotected sex with an HIV negative male?).
you might want to try to only discuss one topic. An HIV+ person having unprotected sex with a HIV- is one thing, while an HIV+ person having unprotected sex with another HIV+ person might be a vastly different thing. (adding "turning around and having unprotected sex with an HIV- person" really muddies the waters just too much when trying to have a discussion)

Also i have noticed that people that have had HIV for longer periods of time have kinda "went back to there old ways." in a sense that they "calmed down" when they were first diagnosed but then as time went on just kinda "got use to" there status and just went back to there old ways. i.e. partying, drugs, sex,etc...it's just all every strange to me what people do!? Like i don't understand? it makes me go wow! your silly and foolish!! :o
"going back to their old ways" is sort of an ambiguous idea too. After a while most every HIV+ person adjusts to the new reality of being HIV positive. To be honest, coming to terms with being HIV+ and going back to living your life rather than being consumed with the ideas and ramifications of being positive is something I would hope every poz person could achieve. Being positive does not preclude drinking, sex, or even drugs. Sure some of those things could have a negative effect on a person's health; but none of those in moderation would put you in an early grave or disrupt HIV therapy/medication, or even cause you to spread HIV to another person. Of course for optimal health or to better curtail the spread of HIV, people might have to make some minor life changes; but that's what life is all about - change.

it makes me go wow! your silly and foolish!!
That really is being judgemental and being all judgemental again isn't going to encourage anyone to engage in a discussion/conversation with you. You need to have a more open mind about things rather than simply sticking to your preconceived notions.

for example some of us have differing opinions about whether HIV+ people under proper treatment and having sex are actually creating a super-infection. There is no definitive proof of that yet. Untreated pozzies barebacking might; but many people don't think that HIV+ people with undetectable viral loads are creating any super infections. Of course, your doctor told you what she did. You're obviously at the early stages of dealing with your status and prone to be a bit judgemental. She's just emphasizing the need for safer sex to prevent the further spread of HIV.

Take some time, read the medical studies coming out, chat with us about these issues, and decide for yourself. notice that for all those HIV+ poz people barebacking one another there is NOT some epidemic of super infection happening at all. Read the studies and see that the people developing super infection, for the most part, have not even begun therapy to treat their HIV and so still have high viral loads when they are having sex.

You really seem to be mixing all sorts of things together  - poz/poz sex, poz/neg sex, drugs, adjusting to being poz, being poz and having bad habits, drug resistant strains and super-infections - these are all huge topics that you would probably be better off tackling one at a time. It takes time to learn what has been discovered about HIV after 30 years and you can't know everything all at once. Plus every month that goes by, it seems a little more is known about HIV, being positive, and living with it.

Personally, I don't think you'll meet a person here who is actually going out and purposefully screwing HIV- people to pass on this infection. However, it's also not up to the people here to watch out and protect someone else's health if they are so foolish - after 25+ years of prevention messages - to go out, have unprotected sex and risk their own lives. If I saw someone accidentally stepping out in front of a passing car, I would yell out a warning and try to save them. However, if they do jump out in front of that car, the guilt doesn't lie on my head for them losing their life. It's a sad world and many people do things (those "strange things" like you mentioned are part of that too) that I wish they wouldn't; but I can't control anyone but me, and I'm not guilty of any actions other than my own.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2010, 02:21:18 AM »
Socially, I'm as good as a pariah.  I can't commit suicide, but I pray for some random accident.  More often than not, I wish it was 1986 so I could just fucking die in a few years and get it over with, instead I'm going to have to endure 40 more fucking years of this bullshit,not knowing whether there is anything down the road worth living for.  Even the fucking lepers of yesterday got to live amongst themselves and experience a degree of normalcy in that.  HIV is a horrible, horrible fucking thing, and the fact that it robs you of your life is only the tip of the iceberg.  

I am at a loss for words.  I hope that you are seeing a counselor (or plan to seek help from one soon) so that you can exorcise these demons.  I can understand that your being recently diagnosed has a great influence upon these feelings, but everything you have expressed in this paragraph is not healthy and you will not be able to move on if you keep feeding into this line of thinking.  
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2010, 12:27:00 PM »
More often than not, I wish it was 1986 so I could just fucking die in a few years and get it over with, instead I'm going to have to endure 40 more fucking years of this bullshit,not knowing whether there is anything down the road worth living for. 

Might I respectfully suggest that you keep in mind that many of us were actually alive and saw the hell visited upon our parents, siblings, partners and friends? And that statements like that, while venting, are abhorrent and insulting and pretty much fucked up beyond my ability to articulate.

Get into counseling. And get far away from this idiot you call your boyfriend.

But I will agree with you on one point, I would cheerfully thank you if you changed places with Christine, Kate, Tim, Lisa, or any of the other real and good people we lost this past year alone. Sadly, that is not how the world works.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2010, 12:47:31 PM »
Jesus Christ that single sentence was the pinnacle of bad judgment in posting.  What the hell were you thinking?  That was the single most ignorant statement I've read on these forums and I've read (and posted) a lot of them.

Offline Ann

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #15 on: August 02, 2010, 01:12:36 PM »
Jesus Christ that single sentence was the pinnacle of bad judgment in posting.  What the hell were you thinking?  That was the single most ignorant statement I've read on these forums and I've read (and posted) a lot of them.

And pray tell which single sentence are you referring to?
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Grasshopper

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2010, 01:14:07 PM »
Jesus Christ that single sentence was the pinnacle of bad judgment in posting.  What the hell were you thinking?  That was the single most ignorant statement I've read on these forums and I've read (and posted) a lot of them.

Why omit the preceding sentence ? " Socially, I'm as good as a pariah.  I can't commit suicide, but I pray for some random accident.  "   ?

You are pulling his posting out of perspective....better quote the entire paragraph No. 3)     

;-)
« Last Edit: August 02, 2010, 01:17:10 PM by Grasshopper »

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #17 on: August 02, 2010, 01:14:23 PM »
Jesus Christ that single sentence was the pinnacle of bad judgment in posting.  What the hell were you thinking?  That was the single most ignorant statement I've read on these forums and I've read (and posted) a lot of them.

Might I respectfully suggest that you keep in mind that many of us were actually alive and saw the hell visited upon our parents, siblings, partners and friends? And that statements like that, while venting, are abhorrent and insulting and pretty much fucked up beyond my ability to articulate.

Get into counseling. And get far away from this idiot you call your boyfriend.

But I will agree with you on one point, I would cheerfully thank you if you changed places with Christine, Kate, Tim, Lisa, or any of the other real and good people we lost this past year alone. Sadly, that is not how the world works.


Not only was it ignorant, it was hurtful, offensive, insensitive, cruel, disgusting.  Never mind the fact that most (if not all) of us have lost someone to this shit and we wish we could have them around even if only for just one day.  Never mind what some members have been fighting for years, their bodies and minds impacted by both the virus and the meds.  Never mind our families and loved ones who have at some point or another gone through hell thanks to this.  Never mind more than 30 million people whom I never met but for whom I'd give anything so that they were still in this world LIVING.

Selfish. That's the one word that defines what was said in that paragraph. WTF, indeed.

Again, get some help.  And please think again in the future before you express garbage like that around us.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2010, 01:16:11 PM by Rev. Moon »
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Online Joe K

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #18 on: August 02, 2010, 01:16:57 PM »
Hey Bryan,

Whether you realize it or not, you are obviously quick to judge someone or something, even when you have no sound basis for such judgment. Being recently infected is very hard and it is normal to have questions and concerns, however, when you permit yourself to judge others, without having all the facts, you are being unfair to both yourself and the person you are judging. I believe that you must accept everyone, as they choose to present themselves and let their thoughts, words and deeds provide a foundation for how I view them. As for groups or actions, that I have no experience with, I try to remain open to all views, so I can make an informed decision.

Generalizing things, or disparaging an entire group, based on what YOU believe is reality, is very unhealthy and ego-centric. I encourage you to learn how to seek comment on your questions or beliefs, without the need to denigrate others, just because you believe that what they are doing is wrong. You know no such thing, about any group in general and if you do this, in your personal life, do not be surprised if people pull away. From my experience, given the chance, most people will rise above any expectations you may have for them, but only if they get to start with a clean slate. I urge you to stop seeing the world through judgmental eyes, as it will forever cloud your view and enjoyment of the world we share.

Online Joe K

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #19 on: August 02, 2010, 01:26:55 PM »
Hey all,

As much as I hate to double post, I think this time warrants violating protocol. I am going to ask that you back off on wtfimpoz, because while his choice of words sucked, the emotions they describe are very real. WTF, I urge you to get some help and get it now. I know depression and that feeling that the only way to get the relief you seek is to stop feeling. I know the feeling when all your energy is gone, your emotions depleted and you simply want the "pain" to stop. I also know that these are not healthy feelings and you must take immediate action, or I fear for your safety.

I don't think this is the time, nor place to castigate you over your poor choice of words. I understand what you meant and I know that a part of you knows you need help, otherwise you would not come back here and keep posting. It's my hope, that if you can talk with a professional, you can start to sort out your feelings. This is not the first time you have made incendiary comments here and without some help, my guess is, it won't be your last.

You can get past this, just not alone. Please do not wait, until it becomes too late.

Offline David_CA

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2010, 01:27:23 PM »
I think some Klonopin is in order here!   ;)

First, we all found out we were HIV+ in different ways, but likely most of us went through the same feelings of worthlessness, fear of dying, fear of being alone, whatever.  Over time, most / many of us have come to accept that we have a disease.  It's not like most other diseases in that it carries a HUGE burden - stigma.  Of course, we still deal with this disease and it's physical, mental, and social obstacles on a daily basis, but what else is there to do?

Speaking from personal experience, and I am not denigrating anybody else's experiences at all, but my life is at least as good as it was pre-HIV.  There's a whole world of difference between being diagnoses in 1986 and 2006 (when I was diagnosed).  Assuming one has access to treatment, we now have life to look forward to vs a fairly certain death regardless of treatment.  Can life  be good after an HIV diagnosis?  It can.  It is for me despite having had PCP pneumonia and dealing with permanently reduced lung capacity... yeah, I'm reminded that I have AIDS everytime I do something that requires any sort of exertion.  

As for superinfection... I've yet to see reliable sources indicating that this is a realistic risk for it to bother me too much.  I'm on meds, and if I have unprotected sex with a guy on meds, well, I like to think of it as we're both on PEP and PREP.  Honestly, if superinfection was occurring as often as some people think, wouldn't we see more cases of it?  

For me, personally, my life is better since my HIV diagnosis.  I don't necessarily mean that my health is better, though I do take better care of myself now.  I just feel that I have a better outlook on most things now, am more compassionate, and certainly have a greater appreciation for what is good in my life.  I'm also not going to lie and say that sex isn't better for me now, because it is... not so much because of HIV, but because I don't worry about becoming infected.  For me, unprotected sex with another HIV+ man is the hottest, most enjoyable sex I've ever had.  

I'd change my HIV status in a second given the option, but I wouldn't want to give up the positive things that have come into my life because of it.  You may not be able to make your life with HIV good, but depending on your attitude, actions, and situation, you can definitely make it bad.
 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Online Joe K

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2010, 01:35:41 PM »
I think some Klonopin is in order here!   ;)

No, what is in order, is you having some respect for those of us who suffer from mental health issues. Rather than reading the posts as some type of insults, I could read nothing but pain and having personally experienced said pain, I knew he needs someone to extend a hand, not an insult.

I am incredibly offended that you post such a thing, as if treating my depression was as simple as taking a pill. Or worse yet, that the poster only has bad intentions, instead of the possibility that he doesn't know how, or is ashamed to ask for help.

I really expected better of you.

Offline David_CA

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2010, 01:43:50 PM »
Joe, step off your pedestal and realize that this post is NOT ABOUT YOU.  I did not quote you in my previous post, as you can tell.  I was referring to the backlash that the OP was receiving, and my post (other than the part about the Klonopin) was for the OP.  I don't know squat about your depression other than what you've posted in these forums, nor would I imply that Klonopin was a solution for it.  I think you need to read the last line below again... " I really expected better of you."  Yes, you should.  Next time, how about giving me the benefit of a doubt or just ASK?  Remember, it's not all about you.  In other words, I was saying 'relax' (which is what Klonopin does for me). 


No, what is in order, is you having some respect for those of us who suffer from mental health issues. Rather than reading the posts as some type of insults, I could read nothing but pain and having personally experienced said pain, I knew he needs someone to extend a hand, not an insult.

I am incredibly offended that you post such a thing, as if treating my depression was as simple as taking a pill. Or worse yet, that the poster only has bad intentions, instead of the possibility that he doesn't know how, or is ashamed to ask for help.

I really expected better of you.
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
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Offline Grasshopper

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2010, 01:44:03 PM »
Rather than reading the posts as some type of insults, I could read nothing but pain

I agree, tried to say something similar earlier (perhaps way too subtle).

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2010, 02:02:49 PM »
Hey all,


I don't think this is the time, nor place to castigate you over your poor choice of words.

Joe, I respectfully disagree. This is why I rarely read or post in the Just Infected forum. I understand that people have a process to go through, and often that includes inappropriate venting. I would not dream of writing about m own health experiences in Just Infected, as it would no doubt scare, horrify, or further depress people who need the particular style of interaction that forum was created to serve.

THIS forum, however, is LIVING with HIV. And until someone is prepared to at least try to do that, I suggest that staying within the confines of JUST INFECTED might garner a more positive interaction.

So I think it was possibly exactly the "time," but certainly not the place for such commentary. And I stand by what I said. There is plenty of room in AM for newly diagnosed venting, for discussions about sex, for practical discourse about lab work, meds, and doctors. For stigma, for memorializing the dead, and for issues specific to LT survivors and women. Posting in an inappropriate place garners responses the OP might not have intended, not wanted to receive.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2010, 02:07:17 PM »


  This is some sad stuff right here.  
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2010, 02:57:06 PM »
To answer your question Ann

More often than not, I wish it was 1986 so I could just fucking die in a few years and get it over with, instead I'm going to have to endure 40 more fucking years of this bullshit


Online Joe K

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2010, 04:32:16 PM »
David, you are right, I over reacted and I apologize for directing my comments at you, as opposed to in general. My whole issue here rests with a person, coming here, whether the right forum or not and blatantly posting in such as fashion, that they are screaming for help. We talk so much about stigma and acceptance and it saddens me, when people insist on reading the worse into a post.

I once complained about a poster, their presence, I felt, was an absolute slap in the face of this forum and all that we believe. I tongue lashed the poster in words and rallied for them to be banned. Then I received a PM from a very good friend here, who suggested to me that maybe, if we could keep communications with this poster, that eventually we may reach them. I feel the same with many new posters, because to them, being poz, isn't just another language, it's a whole different reality. And when I remember how hard it was for me to ask for help, I feel an obligation to cut some folks slack, especially when their posting history is not solely one of someone seeking to disrupt the forum.

I am second to none, when it comes to remembering our fallen, however, I know that my friends, would never want me to turn someone away, just because they don't use the right words. I am here to support folks and sometimes that involves looking past provocative behavior, to see what is driving that behavior. What it does not involve, is my passing unfair judgments and for that, I apologize.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2010, 04:52:39 PM »


   I totally agree with you Joe, but....

   The problem I have with the OP is his total lack of regard for other members who post on the forums.  It becomes a balance of sorts, and the question is: where do you draw the line? 

THIS forum, however, is LIVING with HIV. And until someone is prepared to at least try to do that, I suggest that staying within the confines of JUST INFECTED might garner a more positive interaction.

So I think it was possibly exactly the "time," but certainly not the place for such commentary. And I stand by what I said. There is plenty of room in AM for newly diagnosed venting, for discussions about sex, for practical discourse about lab work, meds, and doctors. For stigma, for memorializing the dead, and for issues specific to LT survivors and women. Posting in an inappropriate place garners responses the OP might not have intended, not wanted to receive.



I am so with you..
   

   
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline David_CA

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #29 on: August 02, 2010, 04:54:52 PM »
No problem, Joe.  I probably should have been more specific as to whom I was addressing, but it was actually a whole bunch of folks...  When I started my post, your two weren't there, and I didn't read yours to see if my response would be considered directed at you. 
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Online mecch

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #30 on: August 02, 2010, 05:06:27 PM »
Bryan, young man, just go out and fall in love or have wild sex and its really simple, like leatherman says. Seems like you have decided that it is not cool if you are HIV+ to put HIV- people at risk.   So just follow that rule for yourself.  Have safe sex unless you have discussed both being positive.

With time you'll figure out a rule that makes sense for you for + and + sex. Its a muddy issue, reinfection, superinfection, etc etc.  Maybe you need some more time before you can identify fears, facts, and desires, and make the right decision.
 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Florida69

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #31 on: August 02, 2010, 05:19:29 PM »
Bryan, I am sure you have heard that knowledge is power, and we all have control of our own destiny.  I have been positive for just over 4 years now, I was in a relationship when I found out my status, and was lucky enough to be able to continue with that relationship until it ran its course last year. Although, I was positive he was negative, and with the knowledge of my status it did not change our sexual behaviors, in fact sometimes I will even say that it enhanced it because we had some fun with different types of condoms some where colored, flavored, ribbed, etc.. I have never really been the one to have several partners at once.  I have been an advocate of safe sex, but things still happen in which we have no control.  Condoms break and people are unsure of their status.  The best thing to do is have the conversation regarding your status with your partner, and take it from there.  Now that I am single, I will be honest and say that I currently have two sex partners, one is positive and one is negative.  Yes, before judgment begins to fly, they do know about each other.  I am not attached to either of them and like them both as individuals.  I am just not ready to marry anyone yet, and not really sure what it is that I want next out of life.  I do know in order for me to take on an actual boyfriend, he will have to be an equal which to me means he will have to be independent and self reliant.  The negative fella and I use protection and I have to tell you that the whole experience is really hot.  The positive guy is pretty incredible and we have done things without a condom that I have not done since my last husband of over 8 years ago.  If I had to choose right now, I can tell you that I would not be able, I do know that I can not have everything that I want, but I really don’t have that many wants or needs right now. 

Back to the topic, it takes some time before you feel normal once you are diagnosed as being HIV positive.  You have to adjust to this change and perhaps even morn the life that you once had.  I have been exactly where you are considering super infection, and infecting a negative partner, and questioning the life style of others.  You can only be responsible and have control of your own self.  Things are never really the same, but keep in mind that we all change and grow, HIV is only one small part of me, it does not define me.  Everyone moves at a different pace and you have a lot of emotions and feelings that you are going to have to deal with at some point or another in order to move to the next step.  None of it is going to be easy; in fact you may find yourself contemplating a whole list of dubious ideas.  The one thing that you can remember is that you are not alone, this disease has affected more than 33 million people world wide, and your struggle may seem personal, we all have to face our demons and learn to live our changed lives.  You have a great support system here, and have gotten some really good responses, so my advice is to talk to your medical professional and consider getting a psychologist who without bias can give you personally the correct information and perhaps medication that will best help you move forward and continue to be productive.   When I was a new member here, the advice that a moderator gave me was to be careful in what you post, that has been true of any web site.  I do wish you well and hope that you remember the only thing that has changed is that you found out you have a virus, there is no cure, but there is a remarkable treatment and a course of action.  I want to end with this saying that sits on my dresser at home.  Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a dream, today is what counts.  You know your history, and you know what you have to do for yourself to make today count, because no one really knows if tomorrow will be a reality.   Remember that happiness is a means of travel not a destination.  Good luck, and take care, D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline bmancanfly

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #32 on: August 02, 2010, 05:32:20 PM »

I wish it was 1986 so I could just fucking die in a few years and get it over with, instead I'm going to have to endure 40 more fucking years of this bullshit,not knowing whether there is anything down the road worth living for. 

Or,  you could change the way you think, and enjoy the next 40 years.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline bryan21

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #33 on: August 02, 2010, 05:41:37 PM »
I am sooo lost?..lol
 :-\

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #34 on: August 02, 2010, 06:23:27 PM »
I am sooo lost?..lol
 :-\


Dunno why. I would think this thread has gone in precisely the direction you intended.

MtD

Offline max123

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #35 on: August 02, 2010, 06:35:21 PM »
<enters soft drum roll>
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

Offline elf

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #36 on: August 02, 2010, 09:00:32 PM »
Bryan don't be too hard on yourself.
You still have the right to love and to have sex ;)
The worst thing you can do to yourself is this avoiding attitude,
you're HIV+ and that's it.
In the worst case, you can treat it like a little (tho' a bitter) secret,
no one needs to know,
you're not obliged to tell anyone about yourself.

I've just read an article in a local newspaper about a man that has been positive for 20 years, who basically lives like a plant (he isolated himself from the world and dedicated to Jesus Christ)...

I've decided not to tell anyone anymore (most people I told about my status left me).
I don't need/like rejection.

In order to keep my mind (and body) in control I think of myself as a completely normal person (the only difference being 5 pills I take every day at 6. p.m.). I haven't loved or had sex in 2 years (since my diagnosis) but it's just because I'm not ready yet.

;)

Offline dvinemstre

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #37 on: August 03, 2010, 12:55:35 AM »
wow, what a thread. OK so the + /- discordant partner thing is not just a "gay" issue. For me, rather than focusing on who is doing what with whom, and unless you SEE it you can only know what they say...I would commend to you to find a good counselor who works with HIV+ persons in your area. I also want to say I see a fair amount of posts on here about the neg partner being flipped out, not wanting sex with Poz partner, etc. now, it may be a stretch, but hey, maybe they are pissed off cause you have it and they didn't give it to you and who have you been with, etc. People are funny that way. So, I think eahc person has to grow into their own way of being in the word sexually whether hiv+ OR hiv-. The thing I find that flips soooooo many straight men out when I discuss it with them is they would have GLADLY broken my back with no protection at all and NEVER having asked and their risky behavior scares the hell out of them. Once I disclose (and at this point its before we meet if online or before we touch in person) people tend to fall into a few basic categories 1) ignorant, want to learn, want to be safe, 2) ignorant, think I'm dying and run in the other direction - ignorance being blissful and all (so why arent there WAY more blissed out people) 3) educated, thought about it, not interested, 4) educated, thought about it, want to play and be safe. I have found over the last 3 years that I have different guidelines for different encounters. I do agree with the person who posted that this if a spot for living with and sex is certainly in that realm. I DO also think, however, that four months after diagnosis one is still in the adjustment phase at BEST. ok so thanks everyone for reading and btw, Klonipine is for anxiety...not depression, so David, pass me one please, hehe

Offline xyahka

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #38 on: August 03, 2010, 01:25:36 AM »
WTF
I am sooo lost?..lol
 :-\


Maybe.

Still with it, you should respect and keep in mind other's feelings while interacting here.

J

13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #39 on: August 03, 2010, 01:39:27 AM »
No, what is in order, is you having some respect for those of us who suffer from mental health issues. Rather than reading the posts as some type of insults, I could read nothing but pain and having personally experienced said pain, I knew he needs someone to extend a hand, not an insult.

I am incredibly offended that you post such a thing, as if treating my depression was as simple as taking a pill. Or worse yet, that the poster only has bad intentions, instead of the possibility that he doesn't know how, or is ashamed to ask for help.

I really expected better of you.

Benzos can be very helpful for some patients as you well know, in conjunction with proper CBT from a psychologist.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #40 on: August 03, 2010, 01:54:36 AM »
oh!
And do you remember that horrible,lost,sad,shocked,crushed,i can't believe it, Im going to dye feeling you had when you were told that you are positive?
How could you (even if the other person wants it) have unprotected sex with someone who is negative?


I've wondered whether there is some hector projector going on here.  I mean that will all due respect.  I know I use to go out to bars and see guys hooking up in the dark room and think how disgusting they were and thought they probably all had AIDS.  I felt since I was such "an innocent guy with very few sex partners" that I was immune to HIV.  Boy was I wrong and those guys in the dark room are probably all still negative for all I know.  

My partner is neg and insists on performing oral sex on me.  He knows it is a very, very low risk.  I often wonder whether I should let him even if he wants to do it.  If by some small chance I infected him that way, I would feel horrible and he could be a fast progressor.  I have to decide what is moral for me.  I wouldn't judge others who disclose and make adult choices.  Now, not disclosing and having unprotected sex is another debate.

I'm not sure how the virus found you.  Did someone lie to you about their status?  Did you consent to having sex with someone poz?  Maybe you've mentioned it before and I need to read your posts.  Like others have said, I think you're venting now which is understandable.  When I first came here, I posted in the LTS forum.  I didn't know they wanted a space for themselves.  When I was told about it, I had a kinda bad reaction.  Not Mel Gibson bad.  I felt I was being rejected already in an HIV forum.  I was just emotionally stressed at that time.  

Offline Realist

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #41 on: August 03, 2010, 11:56:20 AM »
I am sooo lost?..lol
 :-\


Dunno why. I would think this thread has gone in precisely the direction you intended.

MtD

Couldn't agree more. Only thing missing from this thread compared to the one that was the subject of the last timeout is the word slut. Doesn't seem to me that the sentiment has changed

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=33596.msg415864#msg415864
23/02/10 Tests confirmed
25/02/10 13100 220 24%
12/03/10 19800 372 19%
26/03/10 Atripla
30/04/10 58 286 23%
28/05/10 45 222 21%
25/06/10 UD 301 23%
24/09/10 UD 283 22%
01/12/10 UD 319 23%
11/03/11 UD 293 28%
10/06/11 UD 423 24%
23/08/11 UD 389 26%
28/02/11 UD 315 34%

I blogged it all http://notdownnotout.blogspot.com

Offline bryan21

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  • Posts: 120
Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #42 on: August 03, 2010, 06:21:35 PM »
 Only thing missing from this thread compared to the one that was the subject of the last timeout is the word slut. Doesn't seem to me that the sentiment has changed

yes there was alot of confusion in that other topic because i didnt know who to quote someone
i wasn't talking about the person who wrote the subject matter...but thats in the past and it's already red
as for this one...it s not..

Offline max123

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #43 on: August 03, 2010, 06:25:04 PM »
so bryan, how are your thoughts on what everyone has been advising you on...do you feel you're making progress? also, are you in any kind of counseling yet through your clinic, aso or provider?
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

Offline bryan21

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #44 on: August 03, 2010, 06:30:57 PM »
There all spot on the be honest.
and no i have not (i don't want them to tell me im crazy)
i just try to find poz people around my area to talk to.
(this is hard as most of them are the "S" word and the others are just jaded and rude!)
but i have found one so far that seems to be a real person..

Offline max123

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #45 on: August 03, 2010, 06:45:44 PM »
well yeah, you've def gotten some good advice here. as far as counseling, no one is gonna tell you your crazy, so don't let that get in your way. getting a diagnosis is a stressful thing and thats how a counselor is gonna help you. they're there to help, not to point fingers. i would encourage you to do it...i have, and am reaping the benefits because of it. chatting on here or with local pozzies (whether they're str8 or gay really shouldn't matter to you cuz it doesn't matter to hiv), isn't professional help. these other things are simply a secondary means of support, information and socialization. because of your recent diagnosis, you need more than that in your life right now. has your doc not suggested this to you?
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #46 on: August 03, 2010, 07:05:24 PM »
There all spot on the be honest.
and no i have not (i don't want them to tell me im crazy)
i just try to find poz people around my area to talk to.
(this is hard as most of them are the "S" word and the others are just jaded and rude!)
but i have found one so far that seems to be a real person..

You know honey, I find it a little more than passing strange that all the poz people in your area are assholes and you're the only saint.

Could it be that they (all of them!) aren't jaded and rude but rather the problem rests with you? A cursory reading of your post history here would suggest as much.

MtD

Offline max123

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #47 on: August 03, 2010, 08:08:32 PM »
<crescendo>
1/86 - 6/08 (annually): neg elisa
7/09: pos elisa/pos wb
8/09: cd4 560, cd4% 35, vl 13,050
12/09: cd4 568, cd4% 33, vl 2,690
4/10: cd4 557, cd4% 29.3, vl 6,440
7/10: cd4 562, cd4% 29.6, vl 3,780

Offline bryan21

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  • Posts: 120
Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #48 on: August 03, 2010, 08:18:20 PM »
you're the only saint.
im far from a "saint" i am what we call human we all have flaws..


Could it be that they (all of them!) aren't jaded and rude but rather the problem rests with you? A cursory reading of your post history here would suggest as much.

and yes i am a lil jaded and rude ( i just found out)
but these people have known for years and there still that way ..and most the poz people love me!(a lil to much if you know what i mean) hahaha.
im sure ppl on here think im an ass lol and that is because my posts but i am the way i am and i will never change just as you will never change  i have kinda made a bad name for myself on here and i hope over time it will fade

Offline bryan21

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Re: Having unprotected gay sex........
« Reply #49 on: August 03, 2010, 08:23:56 PM »
well yeah, you've def gotten some good advice here. as far as counseling, no one is gonna tell you your crazy, so don't let that get in your way. getting a diagnosis is a stressful thing and thats how a counselor is gonna help you. they're there to help, not to point fingers. i would encourage you to do it...i have, and am reaping the benefits because of it. chatting on here or with local pozzies (whether they're str8 or gay really shouldn't matter to you cuz it doesn't matter to hiv), isn't professional help. these other things are simply a secondary means of support, information and socialization. because of your recent diagnosis, you need more than that in your life right now. has your doc not suggested this to you?

yes they have i just haven't got to it yet because i don't want to do it
like i dont need someone else to tell me its okay i have HIV i know that myself.
im just now starting to realize im okay, this dont change who i am as a person, and i will be here 1 yr 4 yrs 15 yrs from now and so one...

 


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