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Author Topic: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!  (Read 4682 times)

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Offline inception11

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Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« on: August 01, 2010, 07:57:53 PM »
Hi everyone - a friend of mine let me know about this website after I voiced some serious concerns....

I was at a strip club the other night - one where you can get "private shows," which essentially are lap dances just you strip down to your boxers and the dancers get naked....

About 10 minutes into getting one of these shows, I noticed blood on my boxers - the dancer had a mole on her leg that was bleeding a good bit...I had a good bit of blood on my boxers that seeped through to the other side...ie where my penis is!!....I started freaking out!!!  The other thing is - I'm not circumcised!!!  I normally do things like go to strip clubs because I'm too high anxiety to do real sexual acts....of course my dumb luck and something like this happens, exposing myself....anyway, I know you can never assume someone is negative so I can't assume the dancer was/is negative...thus, when should I test/do I need to test?  Should i test at one month out or just wait till 12 weeks?  I'm seriously freaking out and need your advice!! I can't believe i put myself in this situation/at risk....

Thanks guys.

Offline Ann

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2010, 04:16:55 AM »
inception,

You did not have a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse,  where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

It doesn't matter how much blood was on your underwear, you weren't at risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2010, 08:26:45 AM »
Really?  Absolutely no need to test?

But the blood I'm sure seeped through the boxers.....and I'm not circumcised....!!!
Can i completely and utterly put this behind me without need for worry at all?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2010, 08:30:12 AM »
Yes, REALLY! HIV is not passed in the manner you are concerned about, no, not even if your shorts were dripping with blood on to your uncircumcised penis.

You are worrying needlessly. Use condoms all the time without exception for vaginal and anal intercourse and you will be well protected against HIV.

Let this go and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2010, 08:50:12 AM »
New worry Guys!!  I'm sorry to be back so soon....

Met a girl at a bar one night - end up going out with her a week later....
We went back to my place...
End up deep, deep fingering her...
Pull my hand out and along with vaginal fluids there is blood, a significant amount, on my fingers/hand.

6 months ago I tested for HIV and was negative; the only sexual activity I've had in hte last 9 months, aside from kissing, was this event.
Should I be worried? Very worried? Or not at all?  Should I get tested?  When?  Thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2010, 12:03:26 PM »
This is another non-risk situation. The area of the vagina where HIV infected cells could be is not where you your fingers would be reaching. It's way higher up in the cervical area. I've never known of a single case of transmission through fingering. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first no matter what details you throw into the mix.

There's no need for testing nor for further concern on your part. But you do need to remember to alwaysa use a condom for vaginal or anal intercourse. Those are the real risks.
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2010, 01:30:42 PM »
Thanks for replying Andy -

When you're talking about the area that has HIV infected cells, I assume you're referring to the vaginal fluids....
But what about that I ended up having blood on my hand after fingering her - blood has HIV in it throughout the body, if you're hiv positive, right?  So does that put me at risk?  Do I need to test? Thanks.

Offline Ann

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2010, 03:19:04 PM »
inception,

You're worrying for nothing. The skin is a very effective barrier against hiv. Hiv cannot infect through skin. And don't worry if you had some sort of hangnail or if you bite your nails or whatever. Not one person has ever been infected through fingering - and you can bet that others have done exactly what you did and were surprised by blood - and you won't be the first. Believe me.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2010, 08:08:48 AM »
So I can walk away from this with a scare....

but with the thought that I should just put it out of my mind...

and no need to test or further worry?

I guess it was just the sight of someone else's blood all over my hand that is just still freaking me out....but no need to even test, huh? I can sleep that easy?

thanks.

Offline Ann

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2010, 09:57:11 AM »
In,

Yes, walk away and stop worrying. No need to test.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2010, 11:56:50 AM »
Just two other additions/questions -

1.  Although I did not perform cunnilingus, at one point I was kissing her inner thigh and got a piece of hair in my mouth - as she was on her period, i'm fearful that hair may have had her blood on it - any risk there?

2.  With the fingering and the menstrual blood - it was ALOT of blood I got on my hands.....still no risk?

thanks all.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2010, 12:00:12 PM »
No risk in any of the situations you mentioned.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2010, 12:54:13 PM »
It seems that the consensus response I'm receiving is that I was at no risk, and that perhaps it's the fear of having someone else's blood on my hands that's driving my fears, and that while that may be scary, it's not actually a risk for hiv, even if she was hiv+.  Soundn right?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2010, 01:14:22 PM »
Read this carefully: NO RISK NO RISK NO RISK NO RISK. PERIOD!

It's time to let go of this unwarranted concern and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2010, 09:17:41 AM »
After two days ago having another scare/concern, I have decided I need to seek the help of a mental professional before I can have a truly healthy sexual appetite...I feel as if my fears are too great.  Nevertheless, I am here asking about one last scare before I take on a period of abstinence (that is, of course, until I get some help and reach a point where I can go about sexual practices without so much concern)....

My new fear is I went to a strip club where I got a show with two girls....one of the girls was vigorously performing oral sex on the other girl - she then immediately turned to me and deeply kissed me, deep tonguing, for a period of about 5 minutes.  The girl later told me, both actually, when I asked them, that they had no knowledge of any stds but that they had never been tested before.  Need I be concerned after this?

Thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2010, 09:29:13 AM »
As far as HIV is concerned, you have no need for worry about this latest incident.

We do advise anyone who is sexually active to regularly have a full STD panel done because other STDs are much easier to acquire. Beyond that we don't comment here because our focus is strictly on HIV-related concerns.
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #16 on: September 27, 2010, 10:48:25 AM »
Thanks Andy.  With regards to Hiv though, no need to test over this?  I mean I could have performed cunnilingus on the girl herself, let alone kiss the girl that did that, and not worry, right?

And Do you think it would be a good idea for me to seek the help of a counselor?

I just feel like most of the normal world can do things like deeply kiss a girl (even if she jsut went down on another girl) without worrying as much as I do.....?
« Last Edit: September 27, 2010, 11:07:11 AM by inception11 »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #17 on: September 27, 2010, 11:18:08 AM »
No one has ever gotten HIV from a kiss or cunnilingus. Nor a combination of the two. I hope things are going well with your counselor, and that you mention that you repeatedly involve yourself in situations that upset you regarding HIV. Perhaps you feel that HIV is "punishment" for lustful thoughts or actions?

Regardless, I think that the issues you raise here cannot be addressed on this forum. I wish you best of luck with your counseling.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #18 on: September 27, 2010, 11:48:35 AM »
JK, thanks.

That;s what I'm asking - I actually haven't been to a counselor yet - but I'm afraid that my fears are too much/unhealthy, and that seeing a counselor is warranted...I take it by yourpost that you agree?
What do you think Andy? Think a counselor might help? It just seems I have unhealthy sexual fears.
thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #19 on: September 27, 2010, 12:31:08 PM »
1. You are worrying needlessly about HIV at this point.

2. Yes, I think you might find it useful to talk about your unwarranted and excessive concerns about HIV with a counselor or other professional. Life is to short at best to be spent worrying needlessly. We can't help you with that problem in this setting. 
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #20 on: October 01, 2010, 04:24:53 PM »
So I think out of anxiety concerns, I chose to test last night for the exposure of fingering the girl that ended up being on her period...

I ended up testing negative...
It was 21 days after that incident...
Do I need to test again? Should I find peace of mind from that and move on?
Thanks.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2010, 04:32:15 PM »
So I think out of anxiety concerns, I chose to test last night for the exposure of fingering the girl that ended up being on her period...

I ended up testing negative...
It was 21 days after that incident...
Do I need to test again? Should I find peace of mind from that and move on?
Thanks.

You do not need to test again because fingering someone (on her period or otherwise) is not a risk for HIV transmission. Your 21 day test wasn't necessary, why would you need to test again?

Ya dig?

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #22 on: October 01, 2010, 04:37:40 PM »
You never needed to test to begin with because as you have been told repeatedly, you didn't do anything that put you at risk. So whether you believe it or not, no, you don't need to test again.

What you do need to pay attention to is that if you continue to return here wanting attention about a no-risk incident, you are going to very quickly find yourself getting a 28 day Time Out from this site.

How clearly can we say NO RISK = NO NEED FOR TESTING?
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2010, 09:26:03 PM »
Hey guys - have a question for you - please don't get mad - I'm asking to educate myself along with assuaging my fears - I have since this issue started meeting with a counselor about my anxiety - she, however, is not an hiv expert.....

So I volunteer at a health clinic - the other day an hiv positive patient came in because he needed his iv antibiotics - anyway, I had to adjust his iv line (pull it out a little - obviously some blood ended up coming out) - as I did that, I thought I felt something on my tongue/lips.....I'm concerned that perhaps a small bit of blood may have come out and gotten onto my lip and/or mouth.....when I looked in the mirror later I didn't see anything, but that wasn't until about 10-15 minutes later....

anyway, i'm telling myself I shouldn't worry because 1 - if it was enough blood to infect, i probably would have seen some in the mirror (i.e. enough would have splashed to hit my face)  and 2 - because it's not like i was doing surgery - in fact, the iv was in a vein, which isn't under arterial pressure, so it's not like the blood would have just jumped a foot in the air and landed in my mouth, right? 


i think perhaps this may be my anxiety again.....your thoughts? thank you.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #24 on: October 12, 2010, 09:31:27 PM »
Not a risk and couldn't happen to begin with. IV's are started in veins and don't splatter.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2010, 07:56:19 AM »
Your latest concern is just a bunch of what ifs which have no basis whatsoever in HIV science. Once again there was no risk.

Given your undue concerns about HIV I do have to wonder if your choosing to volunteer in a healthcare setting is the smartest idea for you, but I guess that's your business to decide.

I am going to warn you that if you continue to return here with no risk incidents that are more about your HIV fears than any reality, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. Consider yourself to be warned. 
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #26 on: October 20, 2010, 04:39:15 PM »
I've been trying to overcome my concerns...
I do meet wiht a counselor, however, as I told you, she's not a physician....

So my concern is that while at the health clinic I work at, the other day, I think I got blood of a patient on my hand, in an area that was an open cut about 14 hours previously.....Is that a risk? Thank you for all your help guys. I'm trying to get over my fears, I really am.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #27 on: October 20, 2010, 04:59:03 PM »
You've been told repeatedly what is risky sexually. Only unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV. This is another of your "what if" fears.

And no, your latest concern is absolutely not in anyway a risk for HIV. Your cut would have begun to close over at that point even if not visibly so to your eye.

I'm giving you a Time Out for 28 days. Don't make the mistake of trying to get around it by creating a new name. We'll spot that right off and doing that will get you permanently banned from the site.

Get yourself the professional help you need to deal with your unwarranted fears. We can't provide that to you in this setting.

 
« Last Edit: October 20, 2010, 05:00:49 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline inception11

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #28 on: March 08, 2011, 03:59:48 PM »
Hey guys- sorry to bother you-just had another question. So I still work at the health clinic- the other day one of the docs was doing a bedside procedure on a patient with HIV- several times he dunked his bloody gloves in a bowl of saline water- anyway when he was done I was near him and as he took off his gloves, I think some of the water/blood on his glove may have hit my eye area-is there a significant risk here? Should I get tested? Thank you kindly.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Andy Velez! - et al....Please Help!! Very concerned!!!
« Reply #29 on: March 08, 2011, 04:06:26 PM »
More no risk stuff.

It maybe you need to get yourself a different job since you have such excessive and unfounded fears about HIV.

For sure you ought to be seeing a therapist or other professional regularly until you resolve this fears.

Meantime you had no risk for HIV and of course there is no need for testing.

You've already had one time out. If you come back again with this kind of stuff you're going to very quickly find yourself getting another.

We're not here to hold your hand everytime you have another burst of fear.
Andy Velez

 


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