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Author Topic: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....  (Read 3587 times)

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Offline hankjim

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Hello. First of all, thank you for all of your help you have been providing to everyone in this forum. If my question is not worth a response, or if I come off frantic, please excuse me.

I am a gay male with genital herpes. I just had gotten out of a 2 year relationship, which after the course of (with absolutely no cheating), tested negative for HIV.

I met someone out at a bar. We went back to his place, and I told him I wanted to keep my underwear on, and basically make out. This is basically what happened for the most part. We sort of rolled around, made out, he grabbed my junk once, and I told him not to do it any more. He kept his underwear on. I kept mine on.

My underwear had been shifting a bit throughout the making out. I had noticed that one of my testicles had come out. I put it back. His underwear was pretty damp from precum. He had been making out on top of me for a while...and I didn't think anything of it.

The next morning, I went to the bathroom and underneath my pubic hair, I notice a tiny genital herpes bump. It was about the size of a grain of rice. It wasn't bleeding, and it didn't look "open".

I feel like my underwear could have shifted enough for his damp underwear to be next to the little herpes  bump, and if he had HIV, it could have been transferred from the damp underwear.

I know HIV dies quickly outside the body, but I still got very worried.

About 4 days later, I had a really painful frontal headache ( I do have a history of sinus headaches)...and the allergy season here in the midwest had just started. I got a sinking feeling, and took my temp which was 97.5. It was fine. I got some muscle aches, which is pretty typical around this time of year especially when my sinuses act up...my muscles tend to get sore, and my forehead pretty achy.

This lasted for the next week or so...so up to around 12-13 days after exposure. Around day 19, I got a really bad headache. It was a very warm day (first 80 degree day of the season), and I wore a shirt that I didn't know hadn't been washed in a very long time. It was a nylon/cotton workout shirt blend.

After being outside for about 1 1/2 hours, I had a very big rash around my collar where the shirt had rubbed. It looked like a heat rash...and it went away after about 2 hours. I went to sleeep.

The next morning, I had a rash under my arms where the shirt had made contact, and a large rash (about the size of a piece of loose-leaf paper) on my back. It was red and splotchy. and it mildly itched. My arms got a little splotchy, and then my chest got splotchy again. I developed some hives as well. It looked a lot like a heat rash/ allergy rash. I took my temperature (98.1--an hour later, 98.6....an hour later 97.5)--
I put some hydrocortisone and moisturizing cream on the big rash and my arm, which all basically disappeared in about 7-8 hours. Still no temperature...and the rash was basically gone (all on day 19).

I had no swollen nodes...that I could tell (I thought maybe my armpit seemed weird, but I think I made it up). I had no sore throat. I had a bit of a runny nose with some green and clear discharge in the morning, and a frontal headache that came and went. My neck looked completely normal, but I did have a few stomach issues...it seemed a little awry digestive system-wise (but I take hypo-thryoidism pills--and it tends to make for some weird bowels). Everything seemed pretty normal on day 20. Does the rash associated with ARS or seroconversion go away on the same day with treatment? Can it dissipate that fast?

It's day 24 now. No rash. No temperature at all (I had been taking my temperature since day 5 ...maybe 8 times a day....no fever at all ever). My digestive track feels a little weird....I feel like I'm making up swollen lymph nodes in my armpit by prodding around and feeling discomfort under them. I have given myself a herpes outbreak because of stress, I think..I always get em when I'm crying and going nuts.

I know it's possible that the little herpe could have had contact with the moist underwear from pre-cum, and I know it's possible that this could be seroconversion. I also know that I probably sound a little crazy, and I am overthinking everything hoing on in my body right now.

I just needed to type this out....and get some opinions.. know what my true risks are...does this sound like ARS...or seroconversion? It feels like it fits the bill, and the timing has been almost perfect.

(sigh).

Thanks so much in advance.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2010, 06:21:06 PM »
You are worrying needlessly about HIV in relation to this incident. The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Everything else is only theoretically risky, but we know from long experience that it's about unprotected intercourse.

Specifically in relation to your incident, HIV is a fragile virus. It is absolutely not passed in the manner you are concerned about. If you were having a herpes outbreak, during which your immune system is lower, then having unprotected intercourse would be a higher risk. But again, not in the kind of activity you were participating in with this guy.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV but that doesn't mean you shouldn't still pay attention to them.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline hankjim

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2010, 07:54:51 PM »
Dear Andy,

Thank you so much for the reply. I had just read that having a herpes lesion would attract HIV because herpes brings cells to the skin that might make infection more easy. This is why I freaked out.

I totally believe the information you gave me, and it has really taken care of most of my worries. It makes sense...no sex, no hiv. I just already feel horrible enough about having herpes, and it scares me that it could increase my risk for anything else.


Thanks again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2010, 09:37:23 PM »
Having herpes only increases your risk for picking up anything else when you are having an active period. So that is a time when you need to be particularly careful because it means your immune system is somewhat down.

However, even during such a period if you are using condoms for intercourse you will still be effectively and well protected against HIV.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline hankjim

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2010, 10:03:57 PM »
Thanks again. I believe I was having an "active" period...felt like it might have been coming on...I got an actual big outbreak about 2 days after the incident. The little sore didn't have any secretion or blood that I could discern.

But, we did not engage in any intercourse...just the rolling around in underwear, so thank you again for telling me that it would not be possible to acquire HIV without the intercourse.

All the best for all of your wonderful work with HIV.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2010, 09:22:05 AM »
You're welcome. And again, even while having an outbreak the activities you have described would not have put you at risk for transmission.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline hankjim

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2010, 01:28:06 PM »
I don't know you can't be responsible for another site's information...but why do sites say this sort of thing:

". ...and it must get into the bloodstream.

It is not enough to come into contact with an infected fluid to become infected. Healthy, unbroken skin does not allow HIV to get into the body; it is an excellent barrier to HIV infection. HIV can enter only through an open cut or sore, or through contact with the mucous membranes in the anus and rectum, the genitals, the mouth, and the eyes."

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2010, 01:55:18 PM »
You're right. We're not responsible for what other sites put out and we're not wasting anytime explaining or refuting.

We focus on telling what we know is so and evaluating specific situations accordingly.

Andy Velez

Offline hankjim

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2010, 08:31:43 PM »
I'm sorry to keep asking....

but under your own website--- under the prevention tab---and how HIV is transmitted it says:

"How is HIV Transmitted?

HIV enters the body through open cuts, sores or breaks in the skin; through mucous membranes, such as those inside the anus or vagina; or through direct injection. There are several ways by which this can happen:

    * Sexual contact with an infected person. "


It just seems like that line on your site is misleading, and would make someone worry. I just wanted to point it out that it was printed this way on this site.

Thanks. Maybe I misread the intent of those sentences.

Offline Ann

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Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2010, 09:14:48 AM »
Hank,

Look, I also have herpes and I know exactly what you're talking about in your earlier posts. You had an outbreak coming on, but the outbreak wasn't at the point of being an open blister. You weren't at risk.

Even if you did have an open herpes blister, hiv cannot be transmitted through underwear, so you still would not have been at risk.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

You are worrying needlessly.

Our lessons say what they do about cuts etc because it is theoretically possible in extreme situations where there are deep cuts. Or if a person has an open herpes blister on their penis and inserts it - without a condom on - into a positive person's anus or vagina. Tops are at lower risk than bottoms in general, but if that top has an open lesion on his penis and doesn't put a condom on before anal or vaginal intercourse, he's just increased his risk many times over. Got it?

You're worrying needlessly over this underwear makeout session. Really, you are.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hankjim

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2010, 11:27:50 AM »

Thanks so much for your responses. Somewhere in my head, I know I wasn't at risk, but I am going to try and get myself to go take a test today just for peace of mind.

I keep getting tongue issues I've never had in my life (geographic tongue, white tongue, canker sores), and even though you have all told me there was no risk, I keep getting these symptoms associated with recent HIV transmission.  I know you can't diagnose by symptoms, but why have I gotten so, so many? A giant rash at day 22? Tongue issues 3 months later--over and over again?  All the other symptoms? It just is driving me crazy!

I am going to really try and work up the nerve today. Again, I'm not questioning what you have said is true, I am questioning my own sanity and my body at this moment.

:(


Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #11 on: July 20, 2010, 11:39:47 AM »
Hank,

Stress can cause the problems you're having and so can many other things. See your doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv as you haven't had a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline hankjim

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2010, 01:33:29 AM »
I know this is annoying. I can be suspended if need be...

but, I keep thinking of different situations...maybe I fell asleep and he rubbed his penis next to an open sore I wasn't aware of while I was sleeping (On my ass or something-- i have had outbreaks there and it was itchy the next day)... I went to sleep but what if he did this?

I couldn't get courage to test, even after you repeatedly have told me that HIV is spread inside the body and I was at no risk if there wasnt any unprotected vaginal or all. I know there was no penetration whatsoever, I just make up these situations in my head (IE the while I am sleeping situation).

My gums started bleeding yesterday after brushing...in addition to previous cankers, and geographic tongue, etc.
So freaked out...I just don't usually have any of these symptoms.

You don't have to respond...I know HIV is through unprotected anal and vaginal...I just can't believe this craziness of oral conditions in addition to previous symptoms. Hiv is not diagnosed through symptoms...I know...arg. I am being unreasonable and crazy about this all....sorry again, and thanks for your help.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Have genital herpes....feel like I've put myself at risk for HIV....
« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2010, 07:12:41 AM »
Hank,

Yep, you have earned yourself a time out. The purpose of a time out is to encourage you to get the face-to-face help you need, whether that be seeing a therapist for your unwarranted fear of hiv or whether that be seeing a doctor or dentist to find out what, if anything is wrong with you. Whatever it is won't be hiv as you didn't have a risk.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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