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Author Topic: My silly decision  (Read 4081 times)

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Offline WORRIEDboi

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My silly decision
« on: November 30, 2007, 08:56:05 AM »
Hey,

Thanks for being there! I have read through the "Am I Infected" portion of the forum for a few weeks now and it is clear that you are all very well informed about HIV transmission - I understand Andy, Ann, Matty and RapidRod will most probably be responding to my questions, so, in advance, thank you.

I made a few silly mistakes and visited a massage parlour three times over three weeks. Standard blood tests show that I have a viral infection of some kind, but no symptoms.

Here are the encounters:
- First: Went in, lay on the massage table, got a massage. Rolled over. The lady asked if I wanted to have sex. I said no and just asked her to masturbate me. She did without a condom. Over.
- Second: Went in, lay on the bed. The lady put on a condom right away, alrhough I did not see her take it out of the packet. She gave me oral sex with the condom. She asked if I wantedsex. I said no. She proceeded to give me oral until climax. I rolled over. She gave me a massage and at one point started punching my back and pinching it really hard (paranoid now maybe she did something but who knows). Worst massage ever by the way.
- Third: Went in, lay on the bed. Got a massage. Rolled over. The lady then put on the condom. Began oral on me. Asked if I wanted sex. I said no. She proceeded with the oral. She then insisted on sex and lubed me up but it was a little too risky in case the condom broke so I declined. She then changed the condom as it had lube and again did oral. Again she asked if I wanted sex. I said no and asked her to just give me a handjob with the condom on. Done.

Now, I have tested given my blood test that indicated a viral infection. About a week and a tad after the last incident I had one of those PCR tests which came back all fine (I know the doctor on medhep says they are really good). Six weeks after the last incident I had an HIV antibody test which was negative. I know that viral load should be really high a week after infection and that 95% of people will test positive by six weeks so that is reassuring, but I just need that extra bit of advice given my blood test.

I went back to the parlours tonight and spoke with the managers/front desk. I explained my concerns. They reassured me that the girls, by law, are tested every month for everything, including HIV, and, that if she does not have a clean bill of sexual health (probably excluding herpes), she cannot work. Next week will be two months, I'll have a look if the girls are still working.

Thanks for your opinions. I don't know what virus is incubating or replicating in my body.

Cheers

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2007, 09:28:33 AM »
First of all, you were never at risk whatsoever for HIV transmission in any of the incidents you're concerned about. None of the activities -- getting blowjobs or massage however vigorous or any of the other details put you at risk for HIV. (Read our Transmission lesson. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.)

Secondly, should you ever have a real risk, which hopefully you won't by always using condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse, going to others like at a front desk or having conversation with a partner has no real meaning in terms of knowing your HIV status. YOU are the one who is responsible for your health so it's up to you to always, ALWAYS follow safer sex guidelines. If you ever don't do that, then an HIV test at 13 weeks is the only way to get a reliable answer about your HIV status.

We also recommend that anyone who is sexually active regularly have a full std panel done. That means at least annually.

This time out you have no basis in HIV science to be concerned about HIV.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2007, 10:02:23 AM »
I totally agree with Andy and just to add I've never seen a Dr. on MedHelp advise anyone to take a PCR test. They don't recommend PCR tests. They are not diagnostic tests. But as you were told by Andy, you didn't have a risk.

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2007, 07:31:41 PM »
Thanks! Yes, the PCR has not been recommended by doctors on MedHelp but both say they are pretty reliable - naturally, they always say an antibody test must back it up.

Just a few more questions if I may (for anxiety).
- I don't know why, but my GP gave me a liver function test with my HIV test at 6 weeks. The HIV test was negative, but my LFT was slightly elevated. I just read on MedHelp right now that early HIV infection does not cause this (a member called Teak). Teak has anwered all my questions it seems! He said this is most commonly caused by hepatitis and the doc also said stress, lifestyle etc can raise LFT's (we only need look at "Supersize Me", where his LFT's went up 300 after 3 weeks of McDonalds).I do not drink alcohol. I was also a lilttle worried that my very heavy smoking would delay antibody production, but, again, Teak says it does not. Do you agree?

Cheers

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2007, 07:45:47 PM »
roo_boy, this has nothing to do with HIV, this is an HIV forum. If you have a concern, go back to your doctor.

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2007, 08:00:58 PM »
Okay Rapid, thanks. I have been posting around about this on here and on medhelp, and, yes, as roo_boy! Getting different opinions is good.

I'll have a chat with my doctor about it. Seeing that both you and Teak (unless you are one in the same!) have reassured me and that you are both living with HIV, I think you will know a little more than my doc - he said ARS does not start any earlier than 3 months after infection (it is 10-14 days everywhere else) so, sometimes, people actually living with the condition can be a little more valuable than a GP who may not be well informed about HIV. Not only do you live with the condition, but i'm sure you become HIV experts yourselves from dealing with treatment, testing and discussions with your doctors, who, rather than being GP's, would be ID or HIV specialists.

Cheers

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2007, 08:02:19 PM »
We are both of the same.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2007, 08:03:23 PM »
Listen kid,

You can carry on with this palaver all you want, it doesn't change the fact that you don't have HIV. Whatever is making you ill, it's not HIV. As Rod notes you should take these concerns to your doctor.

MtD

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2007, 08:48:50 PM »
Okay, thanks, I'll have a chat with my doc.

Rapid, thanks for the help both here and on medhelp.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2007, 08:50:08 PM »
You're welcome.

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2007, 09:03:50 PM »
Oh, and another thing, there has never been one documented case of a client getting HIV from a commercial sex worker (in a licensed parlour) in Australia since 1980 (when HIV was first identified). I am guessing condoms are the reason, and the requirement that workers be tested every month. There are more legal brothel's in Melbourne than there are McDonalds - 84 legal brothels in such a small city, and the car parks are always packed - yet no one seems to go... there are an additional 100 illegal brothels etc.

I think my mind was playing tricks on me because the women were sex workers, and not "civilians". From the statistics, it seems it is more risky having sex with a civilian than it is a sex worker in a legal brothel! 

I will put this out of my mind.

Again, Rapid/Teak, Matty, and, Andy - thanks.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2007, 10:39:44 PM »
The issue as far as vulnerability to HIV is not whom you are with but what you do. As long you consistently use latex condoms for vaginal or anal intercourse you will be well and effectively protected. And it won't matter whether you are with a pro or a civilian nor will their HIV status matter. Condoms do the job.

Too many people have the very mistaken idea that if someone looks healthy and is not a pro it must be safe to skip using condoms. Uh uh.
Andy Velez

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2007, 11:52:59 PM »
Thanks Andy ... you just made me feel a heap better. I did not have anal or vaginal sex, just protected oral and a massage. I guess there's nothing to worry about, even if no condom was used for oral.

Cheers

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2007, 08:26:02 AM »
You don't have to "guess" that getting a blowjob without a condom is not a risk for HIV transmission. It absolutely is not a risk. Period. End of story.

Andy Velez

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2007, 07:50:40 AM »
Thanks! While my rational mind accepts this, my irrational mind is playing up. I had some pretty bad night sweats two weeks after the last massage and did not figure that was an issue - perhaps the room was hot or something but they were drenching.

For anxiety, I just really need to get some tests done. Sorry. It has been 7 weeks already so I just need to get this out of mind mind by getting a negative result.

Appreciate the help but this anxiety is killing me guys, it really is.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2007, 07:59:07 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2007, 07:49:57 PM »
I have made an appointment to see a psychologist tomorrow. I cannot get this out of my head but your replies have helped a lot.

Thanks.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2007, 09:23:58 PM »
That's a good move on your part. In the best of circumstances life is too short to be spent worrying about a problem that doesn't exist.

Good luck to you. 
Andy Velez

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2007, 10:25:27 PM »
You're exactly right Andy.

Over the past month I have come to understand HIV more fully and know I was never at risk, but just need that to be re-enforced by speaking with a counselor. I have also come to appreciate the complexity of HIV in society. In particular, I remember seeing Regan Hofmann on Oprah and thinking, if she can get HIV, anyone can! - this reflects your post above, Andy, that unprotected sex with ANYONE is a big NO NO.

Thank you for your help and advice, all of you.

The Sexual Health Clinic in my city also has a phone counselling service for worried wells such as myself. When I discussed my issues with the nurse, it was good hear a giggle and be given the phone number for a counseling service! The nurse interrupted me at one stage and asked me to reflect on my research and explain to her how HIV is transmitted. I said:

"Through unprotected anal and vaginal sex, shared IV drug use, and, possibly in theory, through unprotected oral sex for the giving partner where there is profuse bleeding in the mouth"

I then reflected on my encounters and felt like an idiot! Hence the psychologist. It was quite good therapy.

Best wishes to you guys with everything.

Offline WORRIEDboi

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2008, 07:14:34 AM »
Hey - I decided not to test. Since my 7 week test, I have gradually returned back to enjoying life.

Can I just cofnirm that I am being careful?

I only participate in protected oral sex and mutual masturbation. In relation to cuts, grazes etc, are these a risk factor?

This site has made me learn never to have unprotected sex, until I go to the the same doc with a trusted partner and test, and, get the results together.

Offline Ann

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Re: Just need some advice - further testing?
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2008, 07:34:31 AM »
WB,

I only participate in protected oral sex and mutual masturbation. In relation to cuts, grazes etc, are these a risk factor?

No! You've already been told you didn't have a risk and cuts etc won't make a difference during hand or blowjobs.

We always recommend that anyone who is sexually active should have a complete sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. However, you do NOT need to test over these massage parlor incidents. You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline WORRIEDboi

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My silly decision
« Reply #21 on: July 31, 2010, 06:19:16 AM »
Hello. I just want to confirm that I had no risk. I engaged the services of an escort. We did not have sex. I asked her to remove her clothing, but leave on her panties. She sat on the edge of the bed. I fondled her breasts and masturbated myself. With her permission, I ejaculated on her breasts. I then cleaned my penis with some tissues which I saw her pull out of the box. She did not touch me.

What if she spat on my penis or did something to the tissues? Sounds silly but you will really put my mind at ease.

Offline Ann

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Re: My silly decision
« Reply #22 on: July 31, 2010, 06:57:33 AM »
Worried,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





We've been advising you for over two and a half years now that getting a blowjob isn't a risk for hiv infection. If getting blown isn't a risk, why would her spitting on you be? Think these things through for yourself. We're not here to hold your hand every time you pick up an escort.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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